Hi chicks

How are you all today?

I am waking up in the morning for the past few days and noticing my flatter stomach and the smooth sides of my body and I am happy and at the same time terrified.

I can feel that I am losing weight and it just scares me. I am not very good with coping with it. I had good, fat food (healthy limits) yesterday and today I just want to stick my finger in the soft cheese and eat because I know I am losing fat and I just want the fat back.

I am justifying it - its winter, my body needs it... what rubbish, I do eat meat, cheese, etc, I don't run on salads these days.

And I am so scared that I am losing weight, that I am changing, that I might become fit and pretty and people will notice me and the clothes will be nice. I won't be the chubby girl in the family, I will just be normal and fit... natural. I am scared of what people are going to say and how I am going to look.

If I do lose weight, that would mean I cannot make excuses for being fat or thinking that people don't like me coz I am fat, or that he likes her coz she is not fat or so and so coz I am fat. I won't be able to dwell on this and feel bad about myself,I won't be able to hate myself and punish myself for being fat. I will be pretty, attractive, fit and normal and that just scares me.

I also cannot believe that I can be sooooo loving and caring to myself to the point of losing weight, I already don't take that first bite because when i do I binge eat and because of my food restrictions i am losing weight. I have been so good to myself to cook and plan my food over the last month, that I just cannot believe that there can be so much love and care.

I really needed to share these fears with you because I do not want to act out of fear and I want to overcome it. Otherwise my sick head will keep me fat for a long time. Does anybody else have these fears? How did you overcome them?

Is it true that your "start weight" was 158? That's not "fat"... it's barely into the overweight BMI category.

So I guess I don't know what your issue is, exactly. Perhaps you could say more about what it is you're afraid of. It sounds as though you have been using "being fat" as an excuse for things? And what's odd is that you aren't really even "fat"... Maybe you will feel as though you have no excuses and will have to just live life as you are...?

Jay

I've had that feeling. It was more pronounced when I was in my 20's (of course back then I weighed 135 and thought I was fat...)

I think the key is to remember that you are doing this for yourself, to feel better, and have a healthy body for your whole life.

It's hard when the thing you've been putting your anxiety energy into (your weight) is gone and then your anxiety has to find another vehicle. Maybe some counseling to talk this out with a professional would be a good idea so you can resolve the anxiety all together, rather than just moving it around.

It is true that you are barely into the overweight category but I understand what you are going through. According to the BMI calculator I'm at 22, which is healthy. But if you look at me, I'm far from fit. Which is what I'm working on, and maybe what you are really going for too. I have been fighting the "flab" for a couple of years now. I start working out, see changes, then quit. Its ridiculous.

I'm so fed up with the way my body looks right now. However, I've decided that I'm not doing this for how I look. I'm doing it because I can feel how much my back hurts because my core isn't strong enough to support me sitting in a chair all day long. I'm doing it because I get winded walking 1/2 a mile with my dog. Or how about because I"m fatigued all the time and have headaches because I"m out of shape.

I think that if you get into the mindset that there is more to it than just looks, you will go farther with your goals than you are right now.

Good luck with getting healthier, and losing what little weight you need to in order to be "healthy" again.

I am literally terrified of losing weight, even though it's been a year since I took most of it off. I find it's especially bad when I go to parties, or get dressed up. I spent years and years in the background, and now I find I get really awkward when people pay attention to me.

I'm self aware enough to know that I am bring completely ridiculous, but I can't help it. I took my best friend to the ballet Friday, and while I see him everyday, I was dressed for the occasion and he was very effusive in his praise and it was horrible. I am working on 'fake it til you make it', pretending to be more confident than I feel until I learn to be more comfortable, but I'm dreading the holiday parties this week.

I still have about 30 pounds to lose, but I feel like I'm sticking myself where I am because I am already so uncomfortable. I'm working on moving on though, since I know rationally that there's nothing to be afraid of.

Thank you for the suggestions, really appreciate it.

Jayell, I did start from 158, yeah... when i reached that point I knew I was overweight and I felt very heavy and depressed and I just had to do something about it. I do feel physically uncomfortable at my current weight as well and I am looking for a solution. I suppose there might be a cultural thing here as well as I am from a Bulgarian origin and being overweight is like the end of the world. Quite a few of my relatives have a bum which is as big as the size of my boobs... so i am really few stone more and that makes me fat in this sense.

Also a big problem of mine is binge eating and i had to find a solution to that, hence a meal plan without trigger foods and weight loss as a result of it. And whilst I have many reasons for losing weight, I fear the fact that it is happening...

As well as that, maybe you are right that i do focus on my weight a bit too much as an excuse for things... will try and look at other areas of my life. Maybe I do have other fears, I think if i don't have the whole weight issue to worry about then i might just become really really happy and free, i might feel lost if i was not controlling my weight and eating...

seagirl, it might be the case that i use the weight control thing to control other things in my life and i am particularly obsessed with my weight when i am under stress. But like you said it is good when my intentions are just love and care for myself, I do want my body to be just fine and healthy but that would be a consequence of my eating as suppose to an end of means... I do go to Overeaters Anonymous and do try to look at other areas in my life and might need to focus on why do i care about food and weight so much...

FitNeSsJeWeL, thank you for understanding. It is like you are describing me that you start, see improvement and then quit, I have been doing that which is how i know that i have really cared about my weight when i am under stress. But i do still feel fat and flabby and somewhat heavy so i am going to try and do something about it. Also I know I need exercise to make my body fit and I am starting to allocate time for that as I haven't done it for few months.

funnycanadiagirl, I know what you mean, I am planning on wearing all my big jumpers to work this week so that nobody notices that i have lost weight or makes a comment about it. I don't know how i went down to 146 during summer time and wore leggings and people complimented me. I did feel somewhat naked and vulnerable, I just could not cope with it and i ate so i can put it on... i missed that flab that I hide myself under but I don't want to torture my body and insist that my body has more fat than it needs and that i stuff it with junk food at random, I am starting to let go and just let things happen and eat well one day at a time.

I've been thinking more about this lately, so I'm glad someone else asked about it I'm terrified of getting attention, especially from men since I don't know how to act or handle kindness.. I'm used to thinking people give me attention because they feel sorry for the chubby girl. No tips for overcoming it, but you aren't alone with your fear.

It's always a good thing to examine these fears and the reasons you have them. Losing weight, from what I hear, can be a very emotional process. I'm starting to wonder if I'm afraid of losing weight, too...actually, not even losing weight so much as not having to think about my weight anymore. Not having to constantly berate myself, my eating habits. I'm worried that there's going to be nothing else to think about, or that I'm going to discover a larger, scarier dissatisfaction with my life, something that can't be cured just by eating some extra vegetables. Maybe that has something to do with it for you as well?

ringmaster, I do have that attention fea, you know for the past two days I have been wearing only big jumper to hide the development of a waiste line. I just want to hide away my getting-fitter body.

19Deltawifey, thank you for the understanding and the encourragement to keep going. I know that if I am not losing I will be gaining and it only goes worse. It is a mental thing for me but it is physical as well. Wishing you all the best of luck! 1 year committment is inspirational, I am thinking of a 6-month committment actually, might give it a try!

Eurydice, I have these fears as well, if I am not thinking food I feel lost but I do believe that I will find great relief actually in not having to think about it! I know this day will come! For now I do prefer to think about it and plan it and cook it rather than binge on it!

For me being on plan is a relief from binge eating and a relief from unnecessary weight! I mean who am i to torture my body and insist that my body should have more fat than naturally! I do deserve to be fit

I can relate...I lost 100 pounds, and the attention I got felt uncomfortable at times, whether it was attention from men who never paid attention to me before or just someone saying "wow, you've lost so much weight! How did you do it, you must feel better, yakity yak yak". Kind of feels like the spotlight is on me, and it can be uncomfortable. I gained quite a bit of the weight back, almost half, and I sometimes wonder if I did it subconsciously because I couldn't handle the attention. I think that may have been part of the reason I regained, although not entirely.

So anyway, I have almost half the weight I gained back lost again, and am starting to get some attention again. I am trying not to let it derail me. I am hoping to get to goal by this time next year, which is to lose 70 more pounds from what I weight now(150 total). I think though, when that time comes, I WILL still have weight to think about. From what I've heard, and I totally believe it, is maintenance takes a lot of thought and work, as well. Weight is something I will have to think about for the rest of my life.

Maybe you could also look into therapy to help you get past your issues? I went to counseling for another issue and it helped a lot. It might be good to just talk it out with a professional who has the tools to help guide you through it

Ookpik, thank you for sharing your story with us. I also think that one of the reasons I put of some weight back was that I felt so fit and attractive and guys were chatting me up. Also somewhat another part of me became dependent on the guys because once I got their attention, I did not care much about the weight. This is so totally the opposite, omg I do have some mental issues around weight and body image.

beerab, the only thing I can afford now is the Overeaters Anon meeting and it is helping me make a progress, but I know I do need help from other people.

WOW! I am so intrigues by this. Maybe it is a difference between the amount of obesity people experience. 158 is not at all comparable to 264. I started at 264 and all I have is pure glee at the weight I have worked so hard to lose. I now wear tight shirts with a bright red bra sticking out the top. There is no fear. Just happiness at reclaiming the person I used to be and want to be again!

Stacygee: That is by far thee best statement! Congrats to you babe! You've earned it!