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Old 12-05-2010, 03:24 PM   #1  
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Default Too fat... seriously?

Whilst I'm still not content with my weight, even I am aware that my BMI is healthy and I'm probably not seen as overweight by most people...

Or so I thought.

I came home today and some family were round, my dad hasn't made any nasty remarks on my weight in years now, I guess it had to end sometime.

"don't you think you should lose some weight before you wear that"

(I was wearing a skirt and tights)

I thought my feeling fat was just in my head, is it really possible at this weight other people still perceive me as fat?

Can't help but wonder when it's going to stop.
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Old 12-05-2010, 03:29 PM   #2  
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there is absolutely no reason that ANYONE should be perceiving you as fat.

you're at a healthy weight for your body, & i'm sure you look fabulous!
i'm not sure why your dad felt the need to say something like that,
but i just wanted to let you know that i feel for you!
keep up the great work!

Last edited by diornotwar; 12-05-2010 at 04:18 PM.
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Old 12-05-2010, 03:33 PM   #3  
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Hmm...I notice that you and I have nearly identical stats. I'm 5'7-ish and around your weight (fluctuate between 124-128lbs...depends on the day). Quite frankly, yea, there are some days when I just feel fat. Whether it's TOM or just bloated for whatever reason and I feel like a shapeless massive blob even though most everyone else will still say I'm perfectly normal, some say I'm too skinny. Logically I know that I'm still thin, but I have my fat days like every other girl.

That was a rude thing for him to say, and although I don't know what you look like, I can guarantee that you're not too fat since I'm the same size as you are, haha. Sometimes our minds play tricks on us and we have fat days, but in no corner of reality are you too fat. I can't even fathom where he got that from...what a buttmunch thing to say, lol.
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Old 12-05-2010, 03:39 PM   #4  
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you are seriously NOT fat! I am a little shorter and when I was about 140 i was told by many to not lose any more..I looked just right, etc...and I know I would not want to be under 140.

That was so mean for him to say that! Did you say anything to him after about how it made you feel?? Was he being serious or sarcastic?? Like to make fun of the fact that you've lost weight??

Anywho girl...I am sure you look amazing
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Old 12-05-2010, 03:46 PM   #5  
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You are no where near being too fat. I'm 5'6 and was down to 147 at one point and that was perfect. At the end of the day it comes down to health and not just outward appearance.

Please keep your head held high. I am sure you look fantastic!!
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Old 12-05-2010, 04:01 PM   #6  
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It mystifies me how some friends and family members can be so cruel. Who has EVER been helped in any way by someone else telling her that she's fat!? If you actually are fat, you are all too aware of it and if you aren't fat, you feel like crap when someone says you are. UGH.

You have some options here.

- Reply with, "Don't you think you should be doing something more constructive with your time than overseeing your grown daughter's weight?"

- Ignore his rudeness.

- Ignore his rudeness AND let him know that you're not going to be spending much time with him because you don't need the negativity.

- Tell him, "You know, you're right--I should be wearing something WAY skimpier!" and change into the kind of outfit that any father would be horrified to see his daughter wearing.

YOU are the one who gets to determine what weight YOUR body is going to be. You--and no one else. Your BMI is right where you want it to be, you feel good in your clothes, you should feel great, not fat.

Last edited by Nola Celeste; 12-05-2010 at 04:03 PM.
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Old 12-05-2010, 04:19 PM   #7  
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Quote:
- Tell him, "You know, you're right--I should be wearing something WAY skimpier!" and change into the kind of outfit that any father would be horrified to see his daughter wearing.
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Old 12-05-2010, 04:55 PM   #8  
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Serendipity,
First, I'm very sorry you had to hear a comment like that.
Secondly, hold your head high girl--you're at a wonderfully healthy weight for someone 5'7". Focus on meeting your own nutritional standards and exercise goals--not getting "skinny enough" (whatever the heck that means) to meet other people's expectations.
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Old 12-05-2010, 04:58 PM   #9  
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Your dad is completely rude. You are NOT fat. I think most women are self conscious about their bodies and we ALL have days where we feel like "Da*mn I'm sexy!" then some days we just feel frumpy. It is normal. The skinniest of my friends sometimes say they feel fat and I'm like are u kidding???

Anyway, you aren't fat. The best we can do is be HAPPY with ourselves. It sucks that the people who should love and support us don't always do that, but in the end you have to learn to develop a thick skin and confidence despite what others may say as you can't please everyone. Lose weight, someone will think you're too skinny or you need to lose more. If it isn't one thing, it's the other. Tell him to eff off in your mind ofcourse lol, and keep up the good work of being healthy, confident and happy
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Old 12-05-2010, 05:24 PM   #10  
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Maybe it was the tights? Tights can be very unflattering on anyone, no matter what they weigh.
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Old 12-05-2010, 05:30 PM   #11  
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I disagree with tights being unflattering; same-color tights, shoes, and skirt are one of the most slimming/flattering things women can wear at any size. Black tights + simple black pumps or slim boots + black skirt = sexy.

Not that the OP needs to worry about it because at 5'7" and under 130 pounds, she can wear pretty much anything she pleases and look good in it.
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Old 12-05-2010, 05:46 PM   #12  
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Um... I also disagree with the tights comment.

Some people (i.e. your father) may just like to rain on your parade. My mom looked at me when I was 17, and at the low end of a healthy weight, and told me I shouldn't be wearing the dance costumes we had to wear for the dance team. She said I was too heavy to be wearing them.

Some people will never be happy themselves, so they like to pick at others. I'm sure you looked wonderful!
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Old 12-05-2010, 07:19 PM   #13  
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Your Dad knows your weight is a hot button. If he wanted to cut you down, a catty remark about weight is the way to go.
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Old 12-05-2010, 08:05 PM   #14  
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Brutal! Do you have Korean parents or something?! Tell your dad to shut up and mind his own g.damn business. You've worked hard and I'm sure you look great.
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Old 12-05-2010, 08:23 PM   #15  
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Wow!!! How crappy to hear a comment like that from someone who is supposed to love you! Sorry he said that to you! And no, you aren't fat, not at all!
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