I am so upset with myself. I have been feeding my face for the last 2 weeks and I do not know why. I know I have gained weight and even though I say to myself no more eating bad, I do anyways. This has gotten out of control and I really don't know what I should do. It's mostly when I get home from work when I eat the most. I will keep eating sometimes to the point I feel sick (don't worry I do not throw up)
Like today, I went to Panera Bread for a bagel and cream cheese but of course I didn't just get 1 bagel, I got 2!!

You have the power to say NO. You CAN do it, we all can. I would suggest a different plan, like not stopping for a bread and fat treat after work. Keep an apple or 2 in your car for the way home. I personally think you binge after work because you are feeding your addiction. Some people pour themselves a drink as soon as they get home, some people roll a doobie and some people eat. AND some people go work out! To break the addiction you need stop feeding it with stuff that makes you high. To be honest it sucks at first. It is very hard and uncomfortable to tell yourself no. It does get eaiser with time.

Good luck.

I do the exact same thing that you're describing...and even while I'm doing it and 49% of my brain is say "NOOOOO!", the other 51% says "We don't care what you say, we're doing it anyway." It's hard not to feel completely overwhelmed when it feels like it's your own head that's out of control. Last night was the FIRST night in a long time that I held to my plan - to not eat until I felt sick, get to bed at a decent time and wake up feeling ok about myself. It was really, really hard, but it worked. You can do it. Just take it one day (or hour or one minute!) at a time. And try not to be so hard on yourself. Imagine a life-long smoker trying to have just 2 cigarettes a day. You can't go cold turkey with food, so it's even harder to break the habits that go along with it.

Why? Because you've gotten into the habit of doing it that way. Because it's what you're accustomed to doing. But luckilybad habits can be broken and new good ones formed. And once those are established (the good ones) they too will be hard to break. But you've got to get there. You've got to push yourself and push yourself and work past the uncomfortable moments. There is no way around it.

I agree completely with LoriBell. You're feeding the addiction and you need to cut off the supply. Cold turkey. No ifs ands or buts.

Set yourself up for success though. Make the decision to do this, once and for all, permanently and NO MATTER WHAT. No excuses, no BS, no nuthin'. Make this your job your mission. Become passionate about it.

Make yourself a plan and stick to it like glue, tweaking as need be. Decide what you will eat in advance, don't put it in your mouth till its on paper first. Make yourself a calorie budget to stick to. Get rid of the goods (the junk) and ADD in healthy, healthy, delicious lower calorie foods.

You CAN do this. I mean you've got the ability to do it. You are capable of it. You just must decide to do it and being WILLING to do it. Be WILLING to do what's necessary to MAKE it happen. Be willing to work past the uncomfortable moments of not giving into a craving or a want. It's possible though, very possible. Challenge yourself. Push yourself. Raise your standards. Require more from yourself. Amaze yourself.

You will find that adhering to a healthy lifestyle is no burden, no hardship, but a joy and a pleasure. The only burden is eating that stuff and remaining morbidly obese. EAting well is no prison sentence, but a key to freedom that will unlock more doors than you can possibly imagine, ones you didn't even realize were closed.

ACTUALLLLLY, you can go cold turkey with SOME foods. No one ever NEEDS sugar or a bagel (or choclate or chips etc...) for the rest of their lives. Yes, you need food to live, but you don't need refined garbage to live a very healthy fulfilling life. Now, if I would just follow my own advice I'd be back at my goal weight.

You have to decide if it's more important to have whatever it is that you're eating...or if it's more important to meet your weight loss goals. Prioritize it. What's *really* more important? We've all been there. I think most of us have had days where the brownie won. Are you going to let it keep winning indefinitely?

I know how you feel, lately I feel like I can't get it together and it's stressing me out.

I went bac kand looked at what WAS working for me last year and now I am trying to follow that as closely as possible until I get back on track, I'm trying to not stress myself out and I think that's a big part of it as well.

Good luck.

Very true - you can go cold turkey with many foods. But tell me bagels aren't one of them!!! I too, would be at my goal weight if I could follow my own advice.

Wow, all of you are amazing . You really made me feel like I can do this. I would rather be healthy and thin then to feel sick and Obese all the time. I want to be able to keep up with my friends and not always lag behind and be out of breathe. I want to be comfortable in my clothes not have to cover myself up all the time.
Thank you all so much, this make me feel so much better knowing I have all this support.

Everyone's advice is very good.

One first step toward breaking those bad habits when your inner toddler won't listen when you tell yourself no is this: Try telling yourself "not today." That Panera bagel will still be there tomorrow. It is not the last bagel in the world. There will be other chances to eat bagels. So, skip it for today - eat an apple or a cup of yogurt instead - and reevaluate tomorrow.

Then, tomorrow, tell yourself the same thing. The day after that, too. Before long, you no longer have the bad habit of needing that Panera bagel after work.

What's really made the difference for me has been converting those daunting proclamations like "I can't eat _____ ever again" into in-the-moment choices. I can focus on making one right choice at a time, I can execute that. It's a lot more manageable for me to say "meh, I'm not going to eat a bagel now" than it is for me to say "oh, woe is me, no more bagels for miserable fat carter."

Carter - I really like that advise! I do something similar when it comes to buying things. I think: I will not buy this today, if I can go another day with out buying it, that means I really don't need it. This would be a great mind set for me to use with eating things: I will not eat this today.

I agree! I had to go cold turkey on sugar and refined carbs.

I love Panera Bagels, I understand. But they are never going to be on my acceptable foods list again because I have no control when I start with them. I know what they taste like and that's just going to have to be enough! Give yourself one good day and go from there. You can do it!

One of my strategies is just to leave all cards/cash at home. No money. I don't rationalize it by saying "Oh, what if the car broke down"... yeesh. No. If I can't say no with the money on me - it stays home.

Another strategy: prepare all your food in the morning for the day. And don't stray from it. Use a cooler. If you have a sandwich with you - then you are less likely to buy that bagel.

OR...

If you want something, go online and figure out the calorie counts. If it works for you, write it down on a piece of paper and go in - read off your piece of paper. Don't look at the menu. Just read to the clerk what you pre-chose.

Whatever works...

And my 4th strategy... looking at the online nutrition and saying "HECK NO. It's not worth it!"

A plain bagel from Panera is 290 calories, the cream cheese another 100. You're looking at 400 calories. Times 2 - 800 calories in refined carbs and cream cheese. That's a PLAIN bagel. The other bagels are 300-400 calories. So, you are now looking at around 1000 calories for 2 bagels.

Is it worth it? That is more than half the daily intake for most women.

http://www.panerabread.com/pdf/nutr-guide.pdf

It might help to you make a list of conscious, positive decisions every morning and write them down. Carry the list with you. One item on your morning list would be "Go directly home after work." That's right, just drive on by Panera and go home. I assure you that it can be done. No ifs, ands, or buts about it.

Another item might be "Eat the delicious, healthy dinner that is already planned." You do plan your meals and snacks, right? Right?? If not, then you are asking for trouble... Then you can have "Eat the delicious, healthy snack at 8 p.m. and be done with the kitchen for the night."

Yes, it's hard to get started with these things, but no one else is going to do this for you! You have to do it yourself!

Jay