So, I think it may be that time of the month but I have been very upset lately. I have two main issues..money and my weight.
I work two jobs, my husband works, and still every week we barely have money for groceries let alone anything else that we need. My kids still don't have any winter clothes, coats or boots. My five year old coat has a zipper that no longer works and is now five sizes too big. At work, they fund-raise by asking you to pay a dollar for the "privilege" of wearing jeans. Some weeks, I don't have the dollar at all and the weeks I physically have it, I feel guilty spending it. I am tired of feeling guilty for spending a dollar. I am jealous of all those people around me who get to buy a new shirt or think nothing of going out to eat for lunch.
While I am very proud of the weight that I have lost so far, I have now been losing very slowly. I work for a company that makes small kitchen appliances and just got done with two days of training where we made mini pizzas and lava cake and peanut butter honey. Everyone else got to eat it but I sat there and watched and ate an apple. I swear I think they must think I have an eating disorder. Last month, I lost three pounds. This month, I have gone up and down but this morning weighed in at the same as I did at the beginning of the month. I avoid every potluck (and there are lots of them) and never eat out (as if I could afford to) count everything I eat and feel like I am making no progress. I just want to feel normal!
Sorry for spewing out all my problems but I am just so tired...tired of feeling like I am treading water in all aspects of my life. Sometimes I think I just want to give up, quit paying my mortgage so I can afford gas to get to work and quit counting calories so I can go to Taco Bell. I am doing everything that I can think of and I am still three years from the light at the end of the tunnel.
Uggg!




Pizza is my weakness!