So, I think it may be that time of the month but I have been very upset lately. I have two main issues..money and my weight.
I work two jobs, my husband works, and still every week we barely have money for groceries let alone anything else that we need. My kids still don't have any winter clothes, coats or boots. My five year old coat has a zipper that no longer works and is now five sizes too big. At work, they fund-raise by asking you to pay a dollar for the "privilege" of wearing jeans. Some weeks, I don't have the dollar at all and the weeks I physically have it, I feel guilty spending it. I am tired of feeling guilty for spending a dollar. I am jealous of all those people around me who get to buy a new shirt or think nothing of going out to eat for lunch.
While I am very proud of the weight that I have lost so far, I have now been losing very slowly. I work for a company that makes small kitchen appliances and just got done with two days of training where we made mini pizzas and lava cake and peanut butter honey. Everyone else got to eat it but I sat there and watched and ate an apple. I swear I think they must think I have an eating disorder. Last month, I lost three pounds. This month, I have gone up and down but this morning weighed in at the same as I did at the beginning of the month. I avoid every potluck (and there are lots of them) and never eat out (as if I could afford to) count everything I eat and feel like I am making no progress. I just want to feel normal!
Sorry for spewing out all my problems but I am just so tired...tired of feeling like I am treading water in all aspects of my life. Sometimes I think I just want to give up, quit paying my mortgage so I can afford gas to get to work and quit counting calories so I can go to Taco Bell. I am doing everything that I can think of and I am still three years from the light at the end of the tunnel.
Uggg!
Last edited by BecomingMaggie; 10-22-2010 at 07:14 AM.
HUGS!!!!! I so hear you! I am in the boat with you and believe me, IT SUCKS! Where I work if you don't participate in their "potlucks" or "team lunches" you are treated as if you aren't a team player. Everyweek one person is in charge of the team meeting and that person is responsible for bringing the treats for the entire team. I DREAD when it's my turn because I just can't afford it and feel guilty when I have to do it.
I know people comment on my attire because I don't own alot of clothes, 5 work outfits, 2 pairs of jeans and 3 t-shirts. This is what I've owned for years and I wear certain outfits on certain days and on Friday I wear my jeans and a blue t-shirt.
I work with young fashion forward people who own more clothes than my whole family put together and add to it my clothes are now getting too big but I can't replace them because I ahve to buy coats, boots etc for the kids.
Many times I feel just like you. I just want to quit, eat that bagle...dig in to that candy bowl on the team table (Gosh knows it's full of ALL my faves!) and not count every calorie / point / guilty hash mark for every bite I take. My TOM arrived the other day so THIS week has been **** for sure!
I feel like my husband and I work ALL the time, come home, sleep and then get up and start it all over again and never really get ahead.
Hang in there dear, know you aren't alone, not much comfort some days but it's a fact. You. Are. Not. Alone. And WOW! Look how much you've already lost!!! Congratulations!
Happy Friday and no worries spewing here...I come here to remember myself...*I* am not alone either!
living, laughing and loving in Minnesota,
Jennifer
I understand the money issues. My husband lost his job in April and recently was hired (this week) for another position. However, he will not be paid until Nov. 10th. This puts a huge strain on us, as we just used the last bit of our tax check from earlier this year on bills. On Nov 1st, we have house payment and college tuition due for my son. I get paid today but we need ALL of my check to pay those two bills on Nov 1st.
I also have a limited amount of clothes~my coworkers all have what seems like closets full of clothes and I am struggling to not wear the same thing all the time. I shop @ Goodwill but haven't been able to go lately to find long sleeve clothes in my size.
So I guess I'm just letting you know that you are not alone and I am so PROUD of you for not eating the mini pizzas and the lava cake~that alone shows great strength and willpower. Can I borrow some of that Pizza is my weakness!
I wish I could help you, but know that I am thinking about you and wishing you nothing but the best.
I just wanted to say - hang in there! I have money woes, too. We manage to scrape buy each month - somehow. The worst part is, we did this to ourselves. We are paying off credit card debt from our 20's. I figure, we will be ok by the end of our 30's.
If your kids need clothes - look around at local churches. My mom has one near her that has a big room where people bring and take clothes. She gets my son all sorts of nice outfits. (and there are no income requirments) And I just bought my sons Halloween costume from Once Upon a Child. I am not quite sure what age they go up to. I just feel that spending $40 on a costume is unacceptable... EVEN if I HAD the $40.
But... eating pizza will not fix anything (believe me, I have tried!! LOL!) so... Just keep swimming!
Do you have a written budget? There are organizations you can google that will help you set one up. Thrift stores are a great place for clothes, especially childrens. I often find things with the price tags still on them.
I am sorry that you are struggling so much, but I admire you for being able to lose weight even in a situation such as yours! Congrats on all of your hard work so far! I definitely second the thrift store suggestion. And idk if this is available to you where you are, but where I live the Salvation Army has a coat drive every year for families in need. You sign up for it, and on the day of the drive they give you a coupon or w/e and you go into walmart and find a coat, boots and gloves for your kids. Maybe see if that is available?
Sorry I can't be of much help, but I hope things turn around for you soon.
Thank you guys for all the support. It isn't really a budgeting issue. As one of the posters mentioned above, some of this we got ourselves into a few years ago and some are old medical bills. We make too much money for assistance of any kind all of our money goes to paying bills and what is left buys groceries. We lived on $60 worth for a family of four last week.
We do visit the thrift store quite often even though finding money to do that is hard too. I have long ago stopped participating in potlucks at work and they now know not to ask. I will not be bringing anything and I won't be eating anything either.
Either way, it was nice to get it all out and so far, I have stayed on plan. If any of you ever want to trade woes, PM me. Maybe we could help each other through it.
Very frustrated....venting
Pizza is my weakness!
