My SO has a rough time with the *talking* about it, which is particularly noticeable because he's a writer, and normally very articulate; but the thing is, he's always been ridiculously fit, as is his entire family, so he's never really seen anyone struggle, up close. And he's afraid of saying the wrong thing, obviously, because he knows there's a lot of stuff he might not understand. For example, I had to explain to him (some time ago) that his leaving giant plates full of brownies sitting around was torture for me because--and this is what he had a hard time understanding--unlike him, I can eat (and eat and eat) when I'm already full. It doesn't make sense to him as a concept.
But he tries really hard--makes me his home-made hummus, gives me weight-lifting tips but only when I ask for them, and just yesterday, managed to get out this awkward, adorable sentence, after I said something about how happy I was to finally fit into the size 10 jeans I was wearing: "You look good, hon. I mean, you looked hot when we first started dating... but you're... you're happier now--AND slimmer--and that's hot."
The other issue we have is that I'm a vegetarian and he's a, well, a Texan. Even there, though, he's been really good; he'll eat vegetarian with me one or two dinners a week, and the rest of the time we're flexible. He can add chicken to his curry and I'll add tofu to mine, that kind of thing.
On the whole, I think the fact that he never once, in any way, suggested that he was dissatisfied with my body or thought I would look better if I were thinner, is worth his weight in gold. Since he's my first serious relationship, I was pretty fragile and cautious going in, and his acceptance has meant a huge amount to me--has been one of the pieces of me coming to love my body, too. No big complaints about my guy, even if he can't talk about it and doesn't totally get it.
What I'm learning about this thread is that a LOT of men are apparently a fair amount better with this stuff than their reputation suggests. If only, for my mom's sake, my dad were one of them...
My husband isn't mean about it, and he always tells me that he loves the way I look no matter what, and that he doesn't care about what weight I am as long as I'm happy ... but ... I kind of wish he would try to say/do something when I reach for junk food. We both have binging tendencies, and it doesn't help that he always wants to buy junk food, and that it looks good to me so I will usually go along with it. I guess I kind of need someone to take my hand, turn me around, and say "Why don't we get something healthier." You know what I mean.
Wow it's nice that many of us have supportive husbands/SOs. I think the ones with stubborn husbands need to just stop cooking for them That's how my hubby started getting on board. lol.
My husband is pretty good but like all of us he slips up. The other day he brought me home a brownie and said he was proud of my hard work. I was like a brownie is your reward!? Do you hate me?! lol. He just grew up with food is love (damn him and his 190 lbs on 6'3" frame) so he didn't think about it. He apologized and I told him I wasn't mad, I appreciated the fact he was proud of me but please no more brownies! Pick a flower or something lol.
He now eats everything I make at home, we overall eat out less, and he's even cut back on his bad snacks. He eats more things I can't eat at work and that's fine with me.
We are going to start the P90X together as soon as I get my darn DVDs! I've been waiting for two weeks now... I'm glad he's exercising with me and working hard with me- I worry about his health too and I'm glad that we are both on board with this now
I love heard about supportive SOs and even some of their not so helpful quirks.
Mine is supportive in the way that he will eat anything I make.. encourages me to make and try new stuff. He will even do the grocery shopping for me if I make him a list (sometimes complains when its something unusual and he has trouble finding it).
He does though tell me he gets tired of hearing me talk about my calories and hoe much is in what. I guess I can understand that though. He doesn't do that and so I bet it gets annoying.. haha.
Also he has started exercising too and wants to lose a few lbs.
Brownies seem to be the theme here and I laughed out loud when I read the few posts of the husband/so bringing home a brownie as a reward!! I think there are two reasons for this 1.) it is a sweet treat to help you celebrate or 2.) he actually wants it for himself and knows he will get scolded for bringing it home and he will eat it to remove it from your temptation!!
Brownies seem to be the theme here and I laughed out loud when I read the few posts of the husband/so bringing home a brownie as a reward!! I think there are two reasons for this 1.) it is a sweet treat to help you celebrate or 2.) he actually wants it for himself and knows he will get scolded for bringing it home and he will eat it to remove it from your temptation!!
lol. No my husband doesn't like the brownies but knows I do! I gave mine to my brother who ate it with glee *grumbles* dammit I wanted that brownie.
My hubby is supportive of me and my efforts, but we have a unique situation. I am a fattymcfatty, BMI at my highest weight was 40, but I have normal cholesterol, BP, etc. No health issues.
His BMI puts him in the "Overweight" category, but since I started changing the way we eat dinners, he has lost 10 lbs. He had a routine blood test and his cholesterol is through the roof!!! His doc wanted to put him on meds right away, and didn't even suggest diet.
So the man who has been a "foodie" and my partner in crime had to make the changes to stay off meds. BTW, he is only 35. Way too young in my opinion to be on daily meds. His favorites include: RED MEAT, burgers, fries, bacon, sausage, wine and cheese, particularly cheese from western Europe. He was raised vegetarian as a kid and rebelled against it, and craves the red meat like crazy. His ideal dinner would be meat, meat, a side of meat, and the most starchy bread you can find.
So technically he is "on board" since I no longer eat fast food, buy junk, or cook unhealthy. I tell him he is free to do what he wants, and on his lunches at work if he wants fast food, to get it.
Here is my problem: He talks about food. Constantly. "Ooohhh...I'd love a slice of Pizza right now". "I want pumpkin pie". "God, I could go for dinner at Cheesecake Factory".
Shut up. Keep your damn food fantasies to yourself.
That's how my hubby started getting on board. lol.
