Some questions....

1. What was the one thing, or several things, that finally allowed you to overcome food addiction (I gather some people deal with this and some not as much) in order to get healthy, stay on plan, reach goal, and stay in maintenance?
   
2. How did you deal with cravings that did not go away, even if they decreased over time but still didn't go away? I'm making a distinction here between hunger and cravings. So, if you're not specifically "hungry," and are eating plenty of healthy whole food that you enjoy, but still have specific cravings for whatever food you have/had an addiction to (whether sugary foods, salty foods, etc).
   
3. What was the one thing, or several things, that finally helped you overcome self-sabotage (I gather some people deal with this and others not as much) in order to get healthy, stay on plan, reach goal, and stay in maintenance?
   
4. What was it that you feel like finally freed you from always wanting these unhealthy foods and allowed you to feel like the new you and new way of living/eating/exercising was second nature to you? When you finally felt relaxed and confident in yourself and your ability to stay the course over your lifetime?

I need help and I feel like I'm either missing something in my plan, or missing something in myself.

Thanks

I don't know what I can say about the food addiction. I think I was addicted to food, but I sort of think I still am in a way. I still have my days where all I can think about is this food, or how to fit that one into my plan, even though I know it's not healthy. For me, I had to just put certain foods on my no no list and like a drug addict, avoid them at all costs, because I couldn't just have a little. I would either binge on them, or having a little of them would make me binge on something else. Being very strict with yourself about staying on plan and making good choices will help; it takes time, but things will get better.

The cravings, I just ignore. Usually, they go away. If I have a craving that hangs on, and by that I mean for a long time, like days, and it's not something on plan, I'll have a small bit of it included into a meal with plenty of healthy stuff. Usually that's enough to satisfy me.

Self-sabotage, I still deal with. I'll be doing fine and then I'll blow it for no good reason. For me, it's as simple as focusing on the fact that this is important to me and focusing on why I'm losing weight in the first place. As long as I can keep my head in the game and my thoughts in check, I do much better. I do still screw up, but there have been many days where I've stopped from sabotaging myself.

For me, it's the healthy feeling that keeps me going. I feel bad when I eat bad foods now, and lazy when I don't exercise, and I don't like those feelings. But I do love the feeling of finishing a good workout, or having a healthy, satisfying meal. It all becoming second nature, I think that just takes time. The longer you do it all, the more second nature it becomes, like brushing your teeth and showering, it's just something you do.

1. I stopped eating "trigger foods," that is, those foods to which I was addicted. In my case it was any kind of fast food, plus certain other foods that I can't stop eating. Ice cream. French fries. Nuts. Corn chips like Doritos. You can come up with your own list. By "stopped eating," I mean I didn't eat any of those foods for months, not weeks or days.

2. I read Judith Beck's book The Beck Diet Solution. This book uses Cognitive Therapy to help people counteract cravings and the messages we give ourselves that say it's OK to eat badly. Also, I realized that cravings are going to happen, so I did my best to make sure that those trigger foods were not in my house or close at hand. Also, I recently read The End of Overeating by David Kessler. If you don't want to buy these, you can find them at many libraries.

3. Again, this is a matter of having a program in place so that when those voices say, "Oh, go ahead, just this once won't hurt," I can counter them with other messages: "If I eat this I will just want more of it, and it is not worth it to me to have to go through that pain." "Just once WILL hurt if it takes me off my plan." "I don't have to eat this right now, and I choose not to."

4. What freed me, again, was not giving in to the cravings. I still have those cravings from time to time. I have strategies for dealing with them. For example, for awhile I was able to buy a bag of Doritos, divide the bag up into individual serving bags, and only eat one serving at a time. But that started to get out of hand, and when it did, Doritos were banned from the house again.

Right now there is ice cream in the freezer that I did not buy. So far I am able to leave it alone because it is "not my food." In awhile, it will be gone, but not because I ate it.

Bottom line--you have to not give in to the cravings or you can't break the addiction. Later on you may have more control, but that's a long ways away.

Jay

Thank you both so much for your help and advice. It's so helpful to hear from people who have gone through the same kinds of struggles and come out the other side. I'm going use these tips.

I did read The End Of Overeating and it was very helpful. Maybe I am in that phase of trying to overcome the addiction where I am still falling off the wagon and getting back on, and trying to close the window on the length of time it takes to get back on. Like in the past it would go for years maybe before I got back on the wagon, and maybe this time it will be weeks instead. I don't know.

I haven't read The Beck Solution, so I'm going to find a copy at the library or book store.

I'm also experimenting with higher calories (a suggestion given to me in another thread), just to see if that will help, even though I don't think it's calorie/hunger related.

I'll try anything, even if I have to keep trying the same things over and over in order to develop new habits and be successful.

I'm determined to figure this out, no matter how long it takes or what I have to do to finally be successful.

And I certainly need all the help I can get. So thanks again.

I'm only a couple months in, so I guess take this with a grain of salt since I have far to go and don't feel like I've kicked anything, so to speak.

Anyway, they say it takes, what, 30 days to change a bad habit? At this point, I've been feeling my motivation falling but it's habit to eat healthier/smaller portions. I have very little in the house to binge on, and while I've had a few binges they've still never been enough for me to gain weight b/c we just don't have enough crap in the house to do much damage.

If I do have a craving I ignore it. These days my cravings are for the "treats" I allow myself -- Skinny Cow ice cream sandwiches and PopChips. If I've having a strong craving for one, I let myself have it and work the rest of my day's calories around it. I don't allow myself to buy crap at the store (no candy bars, for example), and I figure out what I'm going to order ahead of time when we go out to eat and I don't look at the menu, just order what I've already decided upon.

It does seem to get easier, and I tend to feel sick if I slip and have crap I shouldn't (a couple handfuls of chocolate chips a few weeks ago, for example). However, I feel like I'm always walking a thin line here.

Thanks Bac0s! Sorry it took me a while to reply and say thank you. I definitely know what you mean about feeling like it's walking a thin line. Unfortunately, I had gone for a month doing pretty well, which should have meant that new habits had been formed, but then went radically off course, so maybe I'm one of those that is always going to be in danger of going back to the addictive behaviors. And I need to find a way to combat that/deal with that over the long haul. I think I am dealing with some serious addictive issues, emotional eating, etc. But I'm going to keep trying. I'm trying to really learn exactly what it is that I am dealing with, and trying to find/learn as many things as I can for my "toolbox" for dealing with it. Thank you again!

I find when I am not planning my meals before I eat them, the bulk of the time, I slip much more readily into eating trigger foods and generally eating poorly. My diet right now is the worst it has been all pregnancy and the big culprit is not continuing more disciplined eating habits. So for me, writing down that lunch will be 4 oz. pork, a peach, and some green beans greatly increases the likelihood I WILL eat those things, instead of adding in a few no-bake cookies and some dates to the mix.

Make sense? For me, planning is everything. That includes logging my calories, accountability with daily weigh ins, and not allowing myself too many indulgences and treats (as I have lately).

Some people find avoiding their trigger foods is the best bet, but I do okay with moderation PROVIDED I still have my accountability and planning in place.

1. I haven't "really" overcome it yet, but I'm getting there. Food has been kind of a crutch for me to help me avoid dealing with my issues. I've had a lot of counselling in the last while and though we haven't talked about food that much, talking about and identifying the things that I've been avoiding has helped a lot.

2. My biggest craving: canned peaches! I've tried eating just regular ones, and frozen ones, but they don't do it for me. I really like the texture of the canned ones, and they taste different too. Now if I'm really wanting them I'll go get a can, they're available packed in water now, as opposed to sugary syrup. I don't buy them when I buy my regular groceries though, and it's a pain to go all the way to the grocery store to buy them. I hardly ever actually want them enough to actually go get them, but I find if I tell myself "no" to anything, it makes me want it that much more. It's far easier to tell myself I can eat whatever I want, but do I "really" want it? Like really? The answer is almost always no.

3. Again, I'm not exactly there yet, but I'm working on it. I suppose mostly trying to find moderation, and better ways to cope with my emotions than attempting to bury them with food. Some people take drugs or drink to try and bury their emotions, I like to think eating is less wreckless, but really it leads to all kinds of health problems and at least in my case lots of emotional problems. I try to keep that in mind when I say "it's just food, you need to eat to be healthy.. I can eat this *insert food name here*"

4. Again, not really there yet, but lots and lots of counselling is helping. I don't think it's ever going to be particularily easy. Someone once told me that you just replace one addiction with another addiction. I don't really know if that's true, but there's lots of healthy outlets for that sort of thing, like exercise and stuff. I think going for a walk is a way better way to deal with something than eating a box of cookies. Even if it doesn't necessarily solve the problem, you at least get a chance to think about it in a non self destructive way.

I hope that helped a little, I'm not really a pro at any of this yet. But I'm sure you aren't missing anything in yourself. If this were easy, none of us would be here.