Too FAT for the pool (RANT)
 

I'm a college student. What does every college student do in the summertime? Live at the pool. My boyfriends older sister keeps asking me to go to the pool and I keep on making excuses. She is gorgeous, skinny, fit, tan, perfect body. I'm 5'6 and 170 (doesnt look too bad in normal clothes, but in a bathing suit, **** no) and it's kind of embarrassing always saying no. And I'm not gonna go in a one piece and shorts while other girls my age prance around in their little bikinis. I don't even feel skinny enough to wear tank tops! I kinda joked with her like, "ohh haha i refuse to buy another bathing suit til i lose 20 pounds!" You know, trying to make it sound like a universal girl thing, rather than something so dark and awful i struggle with every day. So yeah... my weight is making me feel left out.

Just wanted to get that off my chest. :(

:hug:

Wish there were a way to console you to make you believe that really - other people are not looking at your weight the way you do. Even your skinny little friend is probably worried about her belly flab or something else than paying attention to you.

Put on your bathing suit and go enjoy yourself!

Agreed! I know how hard it is to not be self-concious, but I really believe that by not going you are just making yourself feel worse.

Jump in the pool quickly and no one will see anyway! And honestly, I bet you look great anyway.

go to the pool.

Go on to the pool.


Bathing suits are not your enemy. And no one there is as worried about it as you are. I understand where you are....but love yourself and your CURRENT body even as you strive to become healthier.:hug:

I'm going with the others -- go to the pool. I was never too fat for the pool. It always felt so great to be in the water and to be moving in ways that didn't hurt, that I always just made myself go. I spent more time in the water than other people and, thus, more time being active, swimming laps, playing with the little kids (who couldn't care less how I looked in my swimsuit), and stretching or just moving. Great experiences and a good part of anyone's active life in the summertime.

Be good to yourself & don't wait on your weight to live your life.
Go to the pool & have a blast!

Oh my.. I feel the same way!!!! I am going to Las Vegas in a few weeks and I am extremely excited. My fiance can't wait to go to the pool there.. and I am absolutely dreading it. I do not want to be the only "fat" girl at the pool surrounded by all of the skinny skimply dressed girls :(

I am with everyone else - GO TO THE POOL!

I can not imagine my life without swimming!! I am well over 200 lbs and I still spend my summers strutting my stuff in a two piece. Flab hanging all over... All my wobbly bits out for everyone to see. I don't care. I am more interested in being comfortable and having fun than impressing everyone else with my body! And not one person has ever said a word. And every summer I have a blast - swimming and relaxing in the water.

If you like the pool... go.

I don't... so I don't go. :p

For me it's not an issue of how I look in a bathing suit because my current bathing suit... I would wear it as a normal shirt if I could. :p I love it. I love the way it makes me look. I just... I don't like swimming all that much... or the sun... blech. So... I don't go to the pool.


But... not because I would feel bad about going. I can understand the desire to not buy a new swimsuit. So don't. But... go to the pool. Nobody is going to care. You're not THAT overweight. If you need to, wear board shorts with a tankini type top, or even a one-piece. I've seen it a TON lately. It's the fashion, and nobody is going to judge you for wearing it. I certainly don't. ;)

HOORAY FOR THE WOBBLY BITS!!

Seriously..It can be hard to walk around thinking that absolutely everyone is judging you, or looking at you. But the majority of the people out there have enough of their own insecurities to be concerned about your extra flesh. Personally, I look TERRIBLE in a swimsuit..I have a saying that some things should only be seen through the eyes of love..me in a bikini is one of those things.
But it's really just a joke..those who love us dont care how we look, and those who dont love us dont have the ability to hurt us. Get wet and tanned, and just think of the calories you can burn while you are doing it!!

You are in Vegas! You will never see those people again. Who Cares?!!!!

Plus, you will probably see people of all shapes and sizes in Vegas. Remember, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas!

You should go to the pool. But before that go to the store and buy a bathing suit that fits you properly! Trust me that makes it 100 times better.. Im 265 pounds and got this kick *** still super sexy bathing suit and i have never ever felt this way before! Im comfy and im rocking it!


Youll feel like a million bucks if you get the right one for your figure!

good luck and have a blast!

I agree, go to the pool. I just got home from my daily swim at the neighborhood pool. At 84 years of age I am absolutely NOT a vision of loveliness in a swim suit, but I sure enjoy going to the pool.

SO GO TO THE POOL!!!

Go to the pool and have fun! I go to water aerobics every week and I know I am scary in a suit, but guess what? I could care less! I have fun, get exercise and burn calories.

maybe you could try to take baby steps. like put on a bathing suit, along with a really cool coverup, and some cool shades. maybe the first time you go you could read a book and have some iced tea. and then you can get a feel for the environement and get to know some of the people and see that there are likely people of different shapes and sizes there. then maybe you could build up to eventually taking off the coverup and getting in the pool. i know how self-conscious this kind of thing can make someone, myself included, but try not to miss out on things because of it. try to enjoy this time and have fun! :)

You're my height and 5lbs smaller than my eventual goal weight.
Not trying to make you feel bad, but c'mon...
GO GET IN THAT POOL, GURL!! :)

Go to the pool - tread water, swim laps you'll get exercise and have fun! I goto the pool 3-5 times a week with my kids and I use my misery in a bathing suit as a reason to go and exercise. It has been raining for two days and I haven't been able to go :( GO! Have fun girl!

i have to agree go to the pool. I used to feel that way. I would find a bathing suit i feel really comfortable in, and just have fun! watch out for the sun, and wear sun screen so you don't get burnt--but go have a blast. I love swimming!

Go to the Avenue website and look at their bathing suits. They have some AWESOME swimsuits that look really good on bigger people. I'm not sure what size you wear, though, so the swimsuits may be too big for you (their sizes start at 14).

The following wise words were once said to someone by a woman named neveragainbabe:

"but the problem is, you are concentrating on other people before yourself. and in this case, make yourSELF happy first."

Great advice. You should listen to her. ;)

I'm with everyone else -- go and have fun. There is no rule that says bikini only. Just wear something you like and have a good time.

Life's too short to spend your college years sweating this stuff.

hugs
A.

This is exactly what I was going to point out as well. 170 is my GOAL weight and I felt so good when I was down to that size the last time I lost a significant amount of weight.

As I am losing weight it is making me recognize how much I kept myself from doing before. Coming down in weight, 210 feels great and I'm so much happier with my body. But when I was younger at 210 I felt so horrible at this weight! I think about all the things I didn't do because I thought I was "too fat". I really regret allowing my body image keeping me from doing things I would have found fun or rewarding.

Experience life now to it's fullest so that you have less regrets in the future!

I want to scream when I hear anyone of any size avoiding the pool because of swimsuit fears. I hate that our culture has brainwashed us (women especially, but I know men with swimsuit phobia as well) into believing that we need a tiny, model-perfect body before we're allowed into a pool or onto a beach. As if we have a moral obligation to protect people from the ungodly horror of casting our eyes upon jiggliness.

Jiggliness is not a crime.

What's so frustrating to me is that the water is the perfect (and sometimes the only) place for overweight person to exercise comfortably and safely. There are a lot of other physical imperfections and difficulties that can make a person unattractive in a bathing suit, and often people with those issues also avoid the beach (again because of this bizarre social expectation we have that only perfect bodies belong in a swimming suit). Scars, wrinkles, missing or deformed limbs, asymetrical boidies..... we act as if there's a social obligation to spare others the sight of imperfection.

I've always been fat (since age 5) and I've always loved the water. It was the one and only physical activity in which I could compete with my "normal" peers (fat is actually an advantage in the water, because fat floats).

Now the path to the water felt like a deathmarch, as I was convinced (especially in my teens) that everyone was staring and judging. But once in the water, I felt a freedom I never felt anywhere else.

Don't deny yourself that pleasure.

There are a lot of gorgeous swimsuits that look sexier than your average bikini, yet have more coverage. Girls with curves often have great bustlines. If you've got cleavage, buy a suit that shows it off. Even at nearly 400 lbs, I always at least liked my cleavage in a swimsuit.

I also learned that even at my highest weight, I was more likely to get in the water if I liked my swimsuit. I hate my current suit (black two piece), and I was avoiding the water because of it. I had bought a cute blouse made in a lycra fabric. It has elbow length sleeves, a deep neckline and an empire waist. It didn't work as a blouse, because I was always too warm in it. I started wearing the top over my swimsuit as a coverup, and then decided to use the top as my swimsuit top. I just wear a t-shirt material bra I bought at Lane Bryant as my "swimming bra" and wear the blouse over the top of it. Even at my huge size, I've had women ask me where I found my swimsuit, because they loved that it had sleeves. It looked like a swim suit, because it was made in swimsuit material and matched my swim bottoms (a skort, which I'm also not that fond of, I prefer skirts).

Standing out doesn't necessarily make you look like a freak. Even at my size to have someone admire my odd swimsuit was a bit of a surreal experience. I originally did feel self-conscious, because it was so different, but finding that some people like it as much as I do, really boost my confidence.

You can go to the beach or pool and enjoy yourself. Find a suit that you do like, and don't worry about standing out. Most people won't notice you at all, some people may look and disapprove, and others will look at you with envy. You can't control what others think, but you can control what you think, and you can think confidently.

If you don't love your body the way it is now, you are going to have a hard time losing the wait. Go to the pool.

Do what makes you happy. If you really want to go, then you should go.
I know myself, I absolutely will not put on a swimming suit.

I am over 40 now and I look back at photos of myself when i was 20 and I thought at the time that I was fat and horrible looking, what I would do for that body now.. my daughter who is 18, 4.9 weighs 97lbs looks at herself and is unhappy with a little pooch she has on her belly (I emphasize the word LITTLE). It makes me sad for myself and it makes me sad for all the young women out there.. why do we tear ourselves down, why do we beat ourselves up .. I would bet my paycheck for the next 40 years that if you stood before all of us we would be in awe...we need to support each other and quit tearing ourselves down, we are perfect just the way we are..

I used to be just like you when I was in my late teens/early 20's. Refused to go to the pool or put on a bathing suit, if I had to go I would be in a t-shirt and shorts (the only time I would ever wear shorts btw).

I don't know if it's an age thing (I'm almost 27 now) or if it's because I have kids now and nothing is going to stop me from having a good time with my kids in the lake/pool but I couldn't care less anymore. I strut my stuff at the beach and don't care if someone might laugh at me, that's their problem not mine. I'm sure you look much better in a bathing suit than you give yourself credit for. I'm 5'4" and weigh about 50lbs more than you and I think I look pretty good in my one piece and I know I have a total blast playing in the water and swimming laps... GO TO THE POOL!!! And don't be afraid to rock a one piece if you feel more comfy that way, there are a million hot and sexy one piece suits out there, or try a tankini!

Oh, and as further incentive, walking around in the pool/swimming for an hour... burns anywhere from 300-400 calories I believe.

You know, a frequent complaint on this board is how when you are fat, no one sees you. But you know what? If you think it's all skinny little girls at the pool, you're ignoring the fat people, too! I promise you, there are plenty of people down there that are your size or bigger, and no one is pointing fingers or laughing at them.

I have been at goal a little over a year now. I have moved to another part of the country and all of my friends here believe I'm a naturally skinny person.
Last night, we decided we'd go to the pool today. We didn't have time before, because of the exams. First, I was excited. I love the pool.
Then I thought of the stretch marks and the cellulitis on my legs. I'm 22, bur my legs rather look like I'm 50. I was tempted to make up some excuse, like, I don't have a swimsuit, I got a migraine, whatever. But I realized how stupid that was.
I went to the pool with my friends this afternoon and had so much fun. No one looked at my legs. Or at least I didn't notice. I guess they did look and did notice, but didn't think anything about it.
If I were you, I'd go to the pool. Your friends know what you look like, they won't care.

Dude, I weigh more than you and I still go out in a swimsuit. You just have to do it once before you realize it's not as bad as you think it is. Like seriously, I went to the LAKE in a swimsuit. I haven't done that since I was 11 maybe. I even tanned. Nobody cares. Nobody even looked at me actually, I made it a point to see out of curiosity. I was like you, but I REALLY wanted to swim this year for the first time since I was in middle school, so that's why I sucked it up and went for it.

Nobody looks at you the way you look at yourself. In fact, people don't even really notice you. Believe me. They are FAR too into themselves to pay for than 1/2 a second of attention to you.

When I went to the lake with my friends, at first I wore shorts and a shirt. Finally I said "screw it" because I wanted to tan. I laid out, and a girl (like 15 years old, perfect body, in a string bikini) commented that she liked the neckline of my swimsuit, and asked what brand it was. Do it! You don't look like a huge beast like you think you do, I don't even have to see you to know. ;)

Every time you don't go because you feel fat and ugly you will feel worse. I would break that cycle now before it's unbearable.

I say go to the pool. I am *twice* your size and today was the first time I'd been swimming in 9.5 years. All these years I'd felt that I was too fat go, that I didn't deserve to be out with the normal people, but I *crave* the feeling of the water. I bought a suit a few months ago, and worked up the courage to go on Memorial day weekend. I got there and the pool was closed :( Wasnt' till today that I mustered up the courage to try again. I suffer from social anxiety so I had to think about each step before I'd even try, but I got there, and as soon as I slipped into that water I was so glad I had. Was I the biggest person there? Yup. But...no one cared O-o. No one gave me any disapproving looks, no one seemed to care at all. I freaked out for a second when I heard some 30 something guys mention Shallow Hal...but they weren't looking at me, they were watching the kids on the diving boards doing cannonballs. The water felt so good to me, normally I feel trapped in my body but the water let me move around without pain and feel free. The 'worst' parts of the trip were walking too and from the pool, but again-no one seemed to notice. I'm really glad I decided to go, as hard as it is for me to believe, I know I deserved to enjoy myself just as much as anyone else there.

ok, so update, did you go to the pool, and how was it? Let US KNOW!

So I obviously joined this thread a little late, but I just want to say that it made me happy to see so many beautiful, confident women in one place! I understand the insecurity about bathing suites- everyone does. But it breaks my heart any time someone lets their weight control their life, especially if they're turning down things they'd enjoy. OP- I hope you went to the pool, and I hope it wasn't as bad as you feared!

SEE. MY. SIGNATURE. (3rd one)

Go to the pool.

Early in 2008, about a year into my weight loss effort, I FINALLY started taking swimming lessons at the community college every Sunday. After not swimming for maybe 18 years!!!

And I could have kicked myself for not going sooner! Because of the various ages, sizes & shapes of all the women in the water aerobics class just before my beginning swim class. And then, in my swim class, we had the same range.

So now it's 2010, and I've kept up with swimming. Now I'm in the intermediate group, though I tried advanced for a time. There were women heavier than me in both groups. Heavy as me at my heaviest, and even heavier. And you know what? THEY KICK MY BUTT IN THAT POOL. It's all about form & theirs is amazing. I'm hanging on the side of the pool, gasping, and they're flipturning right into the next lap without pause. Several of them swim every other day for exercise, that's why they're so assured & so good.

If you could just see these classes & see these women ... you would jump right into that pool instantly. (And hopefully not do a belly-smacker.)

Gotta live
 

I understand right where you are. I am a plus size woman that is larger than you and I must say I would not even where a one piece but I have found some very stylish swim dresses that flatters me and I look phatabulous lol... give it a try. you will look awesome. I wear a size 26/28 some 30s but I will not let life pass me by while im 'getting fit'. let me know if that helps. :carrot:

Ok so let me tell you I have felt the same way many of times untill I just said the **** with it! If you they do not like what they see they do not have to look. Also I agree get a bathing suit you feel comfortable in! I hate one pieces but I love a tankini with a cute skirt! Check out torrid or layne bryant they do have cute ones for us "healty girls"