Beautiful and very inspiring post, Skygirl! I think you're right, in DOING it you found out you actually don't like it anymore, and that will only empower you from here forward. Don't be afraid, girl, just FLY!!

Thanks Duckchick! I really appreciate the encouragement. I hope you had a great time at your sister's b-day bash and baby shower! That sounds like fun!

Got through the day with plenty of healthy, whole foods. I am having a harder time than I would like, but I guess if it were easy, then I would have done it a long time ago, without any issues. Horrible hangover-like feeling this morning from the sugar, sodium, and chemicals that I did have, and wasn't used to anymore. It's a little scary to think that that was the norm for me daily for so long. It's only after not doing it for a while that I could really get a feel for what it was doing to my body. Once you're in the habit of doing it, I think the side effects don't stand out quite as much. You know you don't feel good, but you maybe don't know just how bad, or to what degree the junk is damaging.

A friend of mine told me that when she quit smoking it was one of the hardest things she'd ever done, and that she was kind of a mess for the first few months. Listening to her describe the experience, I can relate, to the happiness and relief about taking steps to improving health to the frustration with the addiction aspects, struggles and failures, and everything inbetween. I know there will be bumps along the road and that the important thing is to try to find a way to keep the bigger picture in mind as well, and stick with it over time.

Here's wishing everyone success and happiness in the bigger picture as well as day-to-day.

I just wanted to stay accountable by saying that I am working hard to get my head back in the game. So much of this is mental. Mental energy. The belief that this is possible. Positive self-talk. Visualization.

All those cute little sayings, like you have to believe it to be it, name it to claim it, see it to be it.

And of course, act as if until you are.

Tonight I decided to wander into the maintainers section and look around and read some threads. I thought it might help me if I were to imagine that I had already achieved my goal and that I was navigating maintenance, trying to continue behaviors that would protect my investment, so to speak, of time and energy losing the weight and getting healthier.

And I've spent some time reviewing, in my mind, two of the books I read in the last year or two that have stuck with me.

One was Anti-Cancer by David Servan-Schreiber, which details ways to eat for health and to help prevent cancer.

The other was The End of Overeating by David Kessler, which talks about the ways that the brain responds to sugar fat and sodium, and how that is similar to the ways the brain responds to other drugs like caffiene nicotine alcohol and narcotics, and happens in the same part of the brain. I'd long been familiar with this kind of information from other studies articles etc. But the difference here was that Kessler, one of the leaders in the anti-tobacco movement and calling attention to the practices of that industry, applied the same kind of thinking to the food industry, and thus gives the reader the gift of anger.

So I'm working on getting my head back in the game, my brain back into fighting shape. And I'm working on trying to find the joy of this, the hope, and get out of the focus on the difficulty and negativity that can be associated with it (for me at least, with the sugar/binge addiction aspects), or at least to balance the two sides.

So, that's where I am today, and wanted to be/stay accountable with that. I considered not posting and just kind of shrinking away with all this stuff going on in my head, but I thought that would be a mistake. So this is where I am right now.

Glad to see you, girl! Having your head in the game is so important! Otherwise, everything you do is just like some disconnected activity, and you can't remember why you're doing it. Blech!

I went off plan at the ol' party. I just couldn't help it! Brisket, chicken salad, chips and yummy french onion dips, and the cakes!! AAHH, the cakes!! Well, the good news is I only had one serving of everything. The REALLY good news is that not only did I feel the difference in what I was eating, but I got full before I actually finished. I ate half of my old normal portions, and didn't finish my slice of cake. I was too full! And the great thing is that, even though it caused me to add a little weight, I'm still at 276, so yay!

Back on plan today, and determined to keep dropping pounds. Woot!!

Hi skygirl, mind if I join in? Your post about the mental facet of weight loss really resonated with me!! I've found during my (most recent) weight loss journey that I really struggle with my all or nothing type attitude. My dh is very spontaneous and likes to go out to eat or to movies or whatever at the drop of a hat, making it difficult for me to keep up with figuring out calories. So then I get overwhelmed and throw the rest of the day under the bus since I've already 'failed' at that point. I need to stop thinking that way. Sure, I'm going to make mistakes and eat something I probably shouldn't, but that's no reason to throw the rest of my hard work away. As Dori says in Finding Nemo "just keep swimming, just keep swimming".

So as far as accountability goes I've had 4 days of staying on target food wise but I've overdone it with soda. I'm dumping out what's left of the bottle I have and going on water only. I also need to start exercising. I've come to the conclusion that I'm not going to be able to get the kids out for a morning walk as often as I would like, so I'm going to have to go down to the complex gym after dinner. Not my favorite time to work out but I know once I get into a routine I will do ok, it's just getting there that's hard!

Duckchick, glad to hear the party was fun! That's cool that you were able to eat some of what was there but then stop when you felt full and only have half sizes. I love hearing stories like that, it gives me hope that someday moderation may be possible for me too.

Hi Plumeria! Of course you can join in! Everyone's welcome & the more the merrier. I know what you mean on the all or nothing thing, I struggle with that too. I read somewhere on these boards that if you're heading up stairs and slip, you don't throw yourself all the way to the bottom of the stairs, you just get up and keep going. I try to remind myself of this, but I sometimes get stuck in that thinking of well, the day is off so I might as well eat xyz for the last time again. Of course then it's not the last time, and everything gets out of whack. But I'm working on that. I love Finding Nemo! Congrats on tossing the rest of the soda and for doing well on your plan!

Here's hoping we can all find the ability to have things in moderation, the ability to get right back on plan after a slip up, the ability to have many days on plan, and ultimately the ability to have many pounds lost! We can all do it if we just keep going!

Skygirl -- thank you. It's like you've read my mind and put it down for everyone to read. I also joined quite awhile ago and have actually ended up gaining weight .. UGH!! Anyway now I'm back & on track!!

I started to realize that my all or nothing mentality is what has brought me to this weight level to begin with. So now I am trying to just focus on this week --- this week I want to lose 2 pounds. For some reason in my mind this makes it easier to pick healthy foods and to get out and excercise -- because I'm only trying to lose 2 pounds. 2 pounds is very do-able. Then next week I'll focus on the next two pounds and so on and so on until eventually I will hit my goal weight.

Thank you for starting this post-- it's totally motivated me!!

Hi Roxxie! You're welcome, and thank you too! I think you're right in thinking about it as smaller goals and units of time so that it's not so overwhelming, and seems more do-able. It can also give a feeling of having time to do it right, and make it work, and not feeling like it all has to happen this instant. Good luck with your two pounds this week! You can do it!

I'm still feeling like I'm floating around a bit, trying to find my new normal, what I hope will be my new normal. I wish it were coming more easily and that I didn't feel so much anxiety, but I have to keep it honest and transparent by saying that it's been knocking me around. Sometimes I get frustrated with myself, but I guess that is part of the process. The process that I have to go through to hopefully get where I am going. Where I want to go, so, so much.

I hope everyone is doing well, and staying afloat even in rough waters.

Feeling slightly discouraged since I'm holding steady at 276-279. I keep fluctuating between those numbers, and I think it's because my physical activity hasn't been all that much. I usually go walking, but maybe I'm being too leisurely. Time to up things!

On the bright side, I was craving one of my weaknesses badly yesterday: fried chicken! But I thought ahead and defrosted chicken breasts for dinner, then breaded and baked them, instead of frying. I also made this interesting ricotta cheesecake, with onions, summer squash, red peppers, dill, and lots of other yummy ingredients. That was my side dish to the chicken, and it all tasted wonderful! I feel like I'm still fighting a battle in my head, though, because I'm craving the fried chicken of a particular restaurant, and it won't leave the back of my mind!

Oh well, here's hoping I can make it through the week!

Hi Duckchick! It sounds like you are doing a seriously terrific job with finding great healthy substitutions for foods you used to eat. That's amazing progress. As for the scale getting stuck, I've read on this site and heard other places before too, that weight is 80% what we eat and 20% exercise. So maybe take a quick review of calories in just to make sure you're hitting your target. But hang in there, chickie, you're getting it done!

As for me, I want to stay accountable by saying that I am struggling since that binge episode, and post-binge I guess I have re-entered the research and development stage, ha-ha, where I'm trying to get my mojo back. I can feel myself moving towards getting back on plan in earnest, and hope to have some good news to report soon. I'm trying to look at the larger picture, to keep my sanity and to keep from losing all the momentum I had.

Hope everyone had a great day!

You know, this is going to sound weird, but one of the reasons I'm able to more or less stick to my guns is because I love reading cooking blogs. I love to cook, and I've made a hobby of looking up recipes and cooking blogs online. Food network is great, and allrecipes is a favorite of mine, but I do love finding little blogs. They usually have very interesting recipes! Surprisingly, a majority that I find are vegetarians or vegans (which I'm not), but they always have something interesting to do with veggies, plus I can always count on these sites to have great information on healthy eating. It's like getting a fun education, plus I get to learn new recipes! It sounds silly for a chubby chick who loves to eat to find inspiration this way, I know. But somehow it's worked for me!

Hey, congrats Duckchick, 10 pounds!! I noticed your ticker, that is awesome!! Whoo-hoo!

I need to start getting more comfortable cooking. It hasn't really been one of my strong points, but I'm trying to learn.

I hope everyone is having a geat day!

Thank you, thank you very much!

Aahh, I love cooking. I love trying new things and discovering new flavors. My family doesn't always appreciate it, but I look at cooking as my way of getting an adventure!

Don't worry, cooking starts to get easier relatively quickly! Oh, I really need to pay attention to your ticker, too!

I have so many craving that they won't fit in this box so I just focus on just the one....LOSE WEIGHT....You ARE WORTH it!...This is me talking to me...LOSE WEIGHT....You ARE WORTH it!...This is me talking to me...LOSE WEIGHT....You ARE WORTH it!...This is me talking to me...LOSE WEIGHT....You ARE WORTH it!...This is me talking to me... I am trying to do this to get through to the fat kid inside me holding out for the hostess cupcakes and reesecups...damn I love those

Mmmm....peanut butter cups....

Hey, I like your mantra! And yes, it can be a fight sometimes! But you can find healthy substitutions that can calm the sweet cravings! For instance, one of my favorite breakfast shakes is chocolate cherry goodness. Just take:

1 frozen banana
1 cup frozen cherries
1 cup water or milk (I use vanilla almondmilk)
2 tbsp protein powder (optional)
2 tbsp hemp seeds (optional)
2 tbsp unsweetened cocoa or raw chocolate
splash of vanilla, unless using vanilla flavored milk

Throw all ingredients into the blender and blend. It's chocolate ice cream in a glass, I tell you! Also, one of my favorite vegan sites has very interesting recipes, especially for breakfast.
http://chocolatecoveredkatie.com/

One of the best sites, and one of the nicest food bloggers out there. Obviously you'll have to decide if some of her recipes are too sweet for you, but she doesn't really use refined sugars or flours at all, and her meals are rather creative. In case you want to check it out!

EDIT: Forgot to add, I myself am not a vegan, but I love trawling through vegetarian/vegan sites for interesting food ideas.