HAHAHAHAHA thats funny.

I'm very lucky, we make food together if not he makes it :P. If i ask him how it tastes he tells me honestly and if he asks i tell him honestly..

I always try and find SOMETHING that i like about his food and he does for me. If not, what we do is we go through cook books and find something that we both agree on or make a list of recipes that we both like and try and make them so it suits us both..


I wonder if you asked your hubby to go through a cook book with you for healthy eating? and see what one he likes or would like to try?

Aiesline, that is hysterical! I read your post out loud to my mom and DH and they loved it too!

heh I'm glad you guys find it funny. DH didn't at the time.... He now tells his newly married friends about it so they don't make the same screw ups :)

Aiesline,
Your post was so funny! You know how to hit a man where it hurts.
Could you please come over to my house and help me fix my husband of 40 years?!
Thanks for posting!

LOL! :lol:

You are my hero! It sounds like your tactics are very effective!

I've been living with my BF or 3 years. Since we started dating he's put on 60 pounds.

It got to a point where he never had any energy and wasn't payimg enough attention to me while we were intimate. I was tired of feeling insecure, that it was my fault I wasn't enjoying sex. I pretty much blurted out that his 5 minutes wasn't good enough for me and that he had to make more of an effort or there would be consequences. That his body had changed, he was less attractive and didn't move the same way.

That bad period did a lot of damage to our sexual relationship.

It did hurt his feelings :( It still does, I think. He pays a lot more attention to me now and makes sure I am happy.

After I started losing weight, and after recieving so many comments about his from co-workers, etc. he became more interested, has joined a gym, and made some minor eating changes that were easy, but that is slowly allowing him to lose and keep of the extra pudge.

I'm really glad he's being so supportive and talking better care of himself. And I'm glad to see this in him BEFORE we get married.

Perhaps when your husband sees your success, he will be more motivated because of the competitiveness?

GlamourGirl- for what it's worth, I see nothing in your original post worthy of the "packing bags" attitude. Because these comments:

How would you like it if your husband go to dictate what you ate?

How would you like him nagging you about exercise and portion control all the time?

Are not supported by what you said. What you have told us, in terms of what you have said to him and how, does not support “dictating” and “nagging.” Besides, no one here knows your relationship, what you have talked about, how you have talked about it, what tones you have taken, what your setup is, etc. Perhaps it is your setup that you make dinner without talking about it, or perhaps you did talk about it and there was a misunderstanding, perhaps you did remind him that he can make something else for himself. We just don’t know.

You came off to me as a loving, concerned and frustrated wife, all of which are completely reasonable. I say this now, not to cause fighting or anything, but because I personally could see where you would be upset, and I wanted to comfort you, if it was needed.

I respect ParkedOut’s opinions, but I do wonder if she was reading a bit in to it. I am trying to respectfully disagree, so I hope I’m succeeding. I welcome your right to your opinions. :)

ANYWAY: because I re-read the original post several times, I do think I can more clearly form a thought on this matter: for your husband, this is a matter of pride. I keep getting caught up on the part where he grumbles something about, “I know how to do it.” Do you see it? This needs to be his decision, his way. You’ll have to frame your support and help in ways that aren’t obvious, so that he feels he’s the one in control, not you.

Good luck. I feel your torment on this, I really do. :hug:

Heh. That's just it. I never tried to fix him. He changed a few points of view for himself because I didn't make excuses for him, coddle him, or treat him like a child. I simply made my expectations clear.

He had two choices. Meet my expectations and I would continue to do the things he loved and found convenient (cooking, laundry, ect) or not meet my expectations and I wouldn't. He chose the rather simple task of meeting my expectations. :) I've never asked for much just respect my job as a stay at home mom is just as hard as his, not to be treated like I'm stupid, not to waste my time and effort (for example, asking me to cook an additional meal when I've already cooked one), and a little respect for the fact my job is never "done" for the day and I'm on the clock 24/7.

We found that things are just better if both spouses put an equal amount of effort into the relationship. That being said when he came to me about a year ago and told me he was worried about my health, I listened. He made it clear that he would love me regardless, but he was worried that my slow weight gain over the years was taking it's toll on my health. That if I didn't stop worrying about everyone else so much and start spending a little time working on me, there wouldn't be a me for as long as there could be. I gave a million and one excuses why I couldn't. He didn't bring it up again. I mulled it over for a while and realize by god he was RIGHT! I got off my (admittedly fat and less than shapely) butt and started doing something about it. I've lost over 40 pounds 4 pants sizes and about a million excuses. I've gained more energy, higher self esteem, and the reminder I'm a sexy woman not just a wife and Mother. I couldn't have done it without him having the courage to tell me that he was worried about my health. I wouldn't have done it if he had nagged.


I know the original post was written in a humorous light but it's a two way street in our relationship. He "handles" me just as well as I "handle" him. I had just found some of the suggestions ridiculous.

There are so many articles out there that suggest tricking our spouses into "doing what we want" or using systems well designed for handling a 2 year old on them. There are articles that suggest using ultimatums "either fix a, b, and c or I'm gone" there are other articles that suggest ignoring it and hope it goes away.

I've never in my life seen an article that reminds us to think about what our spouse might want. Or one that reminds us our SO is an adult and can as well as should make their own decisions. I've also never seen an article that reminds us that the only actions we are truly accountable for are our own. So I decided that I can't "make someone change" I can only present them with the facts and hope they see things the same way I do. I decided that I wouldn't waste my own effort if the things I was doing were unappreciated. My spouse is an adult and is capable of doing everything I do for him for himself.

My Mom nagged my Father for 30 years. Right up to the day she left him. He wasn't happy being nagged. She certainly wasn't happy nagging. I refuse to be like my mom. I refuse to subject my husband to that same treatment. I've never met a happy henpecked husband or a happy nagging wife.

Your mileage for this outlook may vary. It works for my relationship but who am I to tell anyone how to conduct theirs? Good luck to the OP. I hope she can find a way to find a happy peace in her marriage.

Thank you again everyone! Especially Gold32. :)
I find venting here helps me not be a nag. It just gives me another outlet rather than directing how at feel at my husband. This is, I think, a sensitive subject, and I don't ever want my husband to mistake my concern for him as "she thinks I'm fat and unattractive" because that's not the case.

I agree with the others that you can't make him want to do it. But that said, if he does just cut his eating by half...like eating 1/2 the pizza as you mentioned...and is consistent with it, he will lose weight. Might not be the healthiest options he is eating but sometimes we have to do things in baby steps and you said he knows about nutrition. Slip a salad or other healthy food in with his preferences and maybe in time he will start selecting the more healthier foods.

The things that bothers us most in others is what we hate in ourselves. :D Darn truth.