After 2 years and 6 rounds of IVF I finally became pregnant ...my daughter is almost one now. During this time I gained around 20kg (45 pounds) ... a combination of the drugs I was on and my comfort eating after each of the negative pregnancy results. I knew I had to lose this weight but I was still living in "I deserve that bit of chocolate cake" land.

I am not only the oldest mother in mothers group but also the fattest by far far far. While all the mums are arranging pilates and yoga groups , I can barely sit comfortably on the play mat. My self esteem has gone through through the floor. I feel so left out and alone. This is not the example I want my little one to grow up with.

The final straw was not being able (or having the courage) to attend baby swimming lessons with the other mums and babies this summer. After struggling so long and hard to have a baby I cant believe that my weight is preventing me from doing things with and for her already.

Mine was a series of events that happened at the end of October 2007

I was graudating culinary school, and my best friend and I decided to take a trip down to florida to celebrate. When I got on the plane I couldn't buckle my seatbelt. I had to flag down a stewardess and ask for a seatbelt extender. After I got that settled, I realized that I was spilling into the seats on either size of me.

When we arived in florida, I went crazy and decided I wanted to get a lower back tattoo. I already had two on my back at this point. I got it done and everything was fine. When I flew back into New York, I stayed with my friends family for a day. I showed her dad the tattoo. He told me that I needed to have it extended out a bit further, because it was too small for my backside

In florida we hit universal studios. I had a hard time walking around and was sweating so badly. I couldn't fit on the rollercoasters. Tried one and the bar wouldn't go down. After I told my friend that I don't want to try anymore because I'm afraid of heights. So I had pretty much just payed a buttload of money to walk around the park while she went on the rides.

Same thing when we went to this mini gaming thing. They had go-carts. I couldn't fit into one

Then we hit wet and wild...I was actually able to go on the rides there. I was walking around in my swim suit and to be honest didn't really feel that bad about myself. I had some teenagers point and laugh as they walked by

After all this happened I went through a depression stage because for the first time, I became aware of my actual size. I finally started to realize that only I could change my body. Not just because of my size but because I actually wanted to be healthy. And haven't looked back since

I wish I'd had one but I never really did. Sure I've looked awful in photos, wished I looked better in a bridesmaid dress, been offered the seatbelt extender on the plane, broken a chair, not been able to participate in half the stuff my friends did, been yelled at by a doctor who said I couldn't be really trying to lose weight because if she locked me in a room and fed me the stuff I was claiming to be eating then I would lose weight, and yet although I was miserable about my size I never did anything substantial about it. I'd planned I'd be skinny for college, or when I graduated, or when I graduated grad school, or when my sister got married, and yet there I was every time bigger than before.

About 6 months ago was my turning point and again it was no lightbulb moment. I turn 30 this year and so for most of 29 I've been thinking about that! As part of that thinking it just occurred to me that while I'd spent the last 10-15 years miserable and at home eating cookies, everyone else's lives had moved forward with husbands and kids and all the stuff that goes with that. All the guys I'd had crushes on over the years were getting married, and although I don't feel like a failure in other areas of my life I don't want to be single forever either.

From there I just got in the zone of wanting to finally do something about my weight and I began to wonder why do I spend so much of my time in bed eating cookies? Or looking forward to going to the grocery store to load up on chocolate so I can spend an entire weekend watching movies and eating chocolate for all 3 meals a day? (I didn't do that all the time but it was the hallmark of what I'd have considered a good weekend back then!).

A lot of the time I thought that I didn't really have much input into how I ate, I felt I was an emotional eater and well I had an emotional life so there you go...but then I saw a tv show about extreme weight loss and one of the trainers was tasked with helping a teenage boy lose weight. The kid said he was an emotional eater and life got tough sometimes. The trainer looked at him and said something along the lines of you're not fat because you're emotional, you're fat because you pick up the food and put it in your mouth. Harsh maybe, but it rang true for me. Actually maybe that was my last straw moment :D It's a sentence I remind myself of often and it keeps me on the path to my goal.

I can't recall a last straw moment. I just remember making friends with some other women who were trying to lose weight; they talked about it a fair amount and kept each other accountable on another, not weightloss, forum. I decided I wanted to get it on things. As I got closer with them, and started being conscientious about my own lifestyle, I realized that I was feeling better and wanted to keep going.

Rather than a last straw moment, I've been having one big "snowball rolling down a hill" moment. Fortunately, that hill is now leading towards weightloss rather than gain!

last straw was going on holiday with my husband and feeling so awful the entire time because I couldn't do anything normal sized people could.

I was moody, depressed, morbidly obese and it was a struggle to walk more than half hour without being in severe pain. We rented an apartment and to my dismay the pool was full daily with the other guests, who happened to be beautiful skinny women in tiny bikinis. I never made it to the pool and I was dying in the heat of the summer.
My husband and I went to the Verona arena to watch Romeo and Juliet and the seats were so tiny I only made it through one half of the show. I had to sit out on the stone steps but by that time my back was killing me and we ended up leaving.
A night that should of been romantic and lovely turned into a mess. As soon as we got back from holiday I decided enough was enough. So since September of last year I have been on my journey to lose the poundage.. So far so good! So far 16kg gone! yay! :D

I can't even enjoy my college life (I only just turned 20!) because I weigh over 330 lbs. I refuse to let my weight define me and my whole life. I hide behind this weight and am or was in complete denial about how bad it is. I need to change. Being so big, it affects my personality and everything I do and I want that to stop.
I can't wait to be free and to finally let the real me shine!

Honestly though, I have had tons of 'last straws.' Barely fitting into the plane seat; being told I was too fat to ride a certain ride (actually like 4) in Six Flags was so horrifying; having people stare at me with disgust while I walk around campus EVERYDAY; only having about 6 outfits that I can actually wear(!!); looking at my legs in the mirror; seeing the stretchmarks reach my arms; seeing my stomach actually stick out further than my boobs; having my neck darken and just look gross because of my fat; having to drop one of my classes because I was too fat to fit into one of the lecture hall seats and also having to squeeze into allllllll desks, lecture or not and not being able to lower the desktop.

I have no confidence, zero. I gained about 100 pounds in about 4-5 years after losing around 50-60. I can't do this anymore. I just want to be normal.

I have a child with cerebral palsy (and other kids with other, less physically involved special needs) and watching him struggle to learn to roll over at age 3 made me hate the years I'd spent wasting a body that worked. Also the thought that I couldn't take care of his physical needs as he grew if I didn't take care of myself now.

A year later we've BOTH come so far. I am capable of working out 3 hrs a day as opposed to my first workout where I truly thought I was having a stroke 3 MINUTES in and he not only rolls over with relative ease, he crawls/bunny hops across a room, can pull himself up to check out what's on a low table or in a box, and with assistance and braces he's learning to move his legs in steps across a room.

My last straw was over a week's time. My then 4 yr old son said, "Mommy, you're kind of fat."--I know he was being honest and not mean but it hurt anyway. Then a college friend of mine came from the opposite coast to visit and she lost a ton of weight. She posted pics of me on the facebook account she created for me (I had thus refused bc of pics of me lol) and I saw how bad I looked. I am vain in some respects and was horrified that people who knew me a few yrs ago would know how much I blew up. (As in 80 plus pounds). I started dieting that day.

The last straw for me was an overwhelming feeling of chaos. For the last month Ive been agitated and on the verge of losing it due to work and life stress. I just decided that enough was enough and that nothing will change unless I do the work to change the things I have the power to change. The stress was making it easier for me to lose myself in food so now I am determined to accept what I can not change and change what I can......

I didn’t exactly have a last straw, but I booked my first vacation in 13 years to Walt Disney World for this October. A few days after, I realized I HAD to start making some changes NOW, because the time until we go will go quickly and I did not want to go on the trip weighing almost 250 pounds. That very day, I set my goal of losing 100 pounds for Disney, and I am going to do everything I can to get there. I am down to 231.5 as of this morning, 87 pounds to go!

My blog

I'd be so happy if someone would sticky this thread :)

Here here!

I have obviously always been unhappy with my weight but didn't actually work towards changing it. I would try to go on a diet and cave the next day so I would just say that I didn't have the willpower to change it, so I would just give up. Last month I went to the dr and my blood pressure was high. Not even boarderline but high. And then they weighed me and wow! I couldn't believe I weighed 318 lbs! I had always thought that at least I was under 300. But in reality I soared right past the 300 lb mark. I was horrified. I realized that I needed to stop making excuses and do something NOW. I need to be here for my kids. Ive seen firsthand last year how deadly high blood pressure can be and I don't want to be the next one my family knows to die young because of it. So I changed my eating habits immediately. No more "I'll. Start tomorrow" no more "I don't have the willpower" No more excuses of any kind. It is no longer an option for me. And ive been doing it. Sure, its a long road and it will be hard, but I will do it.

My last straw was not a physical thing, but mental. I was getting very depressed because of a breakup and other dating issues, and finally i said, I cannot control any of that. All i can control is ME. And i'm going to improve myself and be the most beautiful person i can be. And i have to do it NOW because i'm not getting any younger (another source of the depression; basically feeling like guys my age are passing me up for 20-somethings and that i'm no longer attractive)

This really would be a good sticky thread. I think it's pretty neat that you're still here, schubunny. I have skipped a bit, but there aren't too many names from the early part of the post that I recognize. I wonder how they're all doing.

I just realized last January that I was turning 60 in March and that I'd been over 250 pounds for almost half my life. No ups and downs. Just consistently fat. I had no health issues. I could do the things I like to do - kayaking, hiking, amusement parks. I had no trouble with airplane seats or theater seats. No real trouble with anything, so I kidded myself into thinking it was ok, even though I weighed over 250 pounds and wore size 24 jeans. Then 2 things happened, I think that got me going. One friend was talking about weight loss surgery and we were a bit worried about that. Then a different friend joined a gym and challenged me and the friend who was considering surgery to join with her. We did, and I figured I better get serious if I was paying money every month for the membership. Somehow, that just kicked it into place. I lost 90 pounds, the first friend got her BMI to about 23, but the one who was considering surgery stayed the same. I guess it hadn't clicked for her. BUT, this January, she kicked things into gear and has lost about 12 pounds in 3 weeks. So, we all benefited and we are able to offer support to each other.

Lin

Ha...yeah, that was my last straw, too. Even my 'fat jeans' wouldn't button without cutting into my stomach. Mortifying... :dizzy:

I'm not entirely sure when my last straw was, I feel like it was more of a gradual process, I slowly realized I need to change my lifestyle if I ever want to be happy with myself. I guess what really pushed me and made me start dieting was the fact that my weight was affecting my social life. I can't say I was that overweight, but I wasn't subjectively feeling good in my own skin. One time I was planning to go out with a couple of friends and after spending two hours trying out clothes and figuring out what to wear I just burst into crying, put my pajamas on and called my friends to tell them I wasn't going out that night. It's truly horrible to look in the mirror and hate what you see, and this applies to any body image issues one might have, not just weight problems.

My last straw was when my scale said 285lbs...

I was officially the heaviest I had ever been including when I was 9months pregnant with my son. All I could do was cry... My biggest jeans were tight so not only did I have a muffin top I had an entire bakery! I was at the point that I was no longer comfortable in my own skin. I thought about my 2 year old son and what his life would be like with an extremely overweight Mommy. What would happen if the scale kept moving up, 300... 350 where would it stop. I fooled myself for a very very long time that I may have been fat but it was ok because I was able to do the things that I wanted to do. Not really realizing I was weeding out the things I wanted to do because I may not be able to do them any more. I used to hike and ride my bike on some of the trails in the area. Could I really do that anymore NOPE at least not the way I wanted. I didn't have any medical conditions but I'm a Registered Nurse for goodness sake, I knew my BP and resting heart rate were not what they used to be, in fact they were well on their way to a very bad place. I'm 33 years old and what did I have to look forward to BP meds by the time I was 35 and Diabetic meds by 40. This was NOT the life I wanted to live.
So what were my options as I stood on the scale looking at 285lbs. #1 do nothing and let the chips fall as they may, #2 go to my Dr and discuss weight loss surgery, because that could be a quick fix (yeah right) nothing agents WL surgery but I know it's not an easy road and there can be complications involved, or #3 change my life and change it NOW!
I chose #3 and for the first time ever I am loving this journey I am on to better health, not to say I haven't had some hard days or that I will be 100% at all times but I WILL NEVER BE AT THAT HORRIBLE PLACE of standing on my scale and seeing 285lbs again!!!

Julie...amazing post! I see you already lost a lot of weight! Well done! I myself an 260 and it was NOT a good feeling when I remember the days when I looked at the scale and nearly cried when it was just 190. Good Lord, the weight goes on FAST once you get to the 200s.

Thank you Dalliance, this is why I love 3FC, it feels good to be able to share my story, feelings, & journey with others!

I thought I had posted in this thread previously, but it seems I haven't. My "last straw" isn't unique or unusual. I had really disliked myself for many years because of the way I felt and looked, but the final straw came when I had been trying to get pregnant for a year and hadn't conceived. After a bunch of tests last January two doctors (an OB/GYN and an endocrinologist) told me the reason I wasn't conceiving was my weight, and it devastated me. I had two choices: cry and hate myself for the fact that *I* was the one standing in the way of having the thing I wanted most, or do something about it. I did cry a lot that night, but I started dieting (I STILL hate that word) the next day. I didn't tell anyone but my husband at first, because I was sure I would fail... but I was shocked, truly shocked, by how easily the weight came off when I just paid attention to what I was eating and kept my calories to a reasonable level. If I had known that I didn't have to be miserable to lose weight, I would have done this years ago!! I always thought losing weight = deprivation, and I was so very wrong (thank god, or I never would have lasted).

Today I am fit and healthy, and I feel good about myself in a way I never thought possible. I never thought I would be here, never thought I would feel confident every day walking out the front door. I have really struggled to continue losing over the past couple months while going through IVF (as it turns out, my weight was NOT the reason I couldn't get pregnant!) and the scale isn't budging much these days, but I will do whatever it takes to never, ever go back to feeling the way I did before.

I got on the scale almost 3 years ago and realized that I weighed 268lbs. In reality, I actually weighed about 278 because the scale I weighed myself on was about 10lbs off. I just saw that number and realized I was just creeping closer and closer to 300, and I refused to let myself get to that point. For the next two years I changed my eating habits, I'd count calories and exercise on and off, and by January of this year I had gotten down to 240. On January 30th, my university decided to host a biggest loser competition, which motivated me to really kick-start my journey. I'm about 232 right now according to the scale we have at my house, and I can't wait to get back to school to see how much I've lost since I started according to their numbers. (I'm on spring break right now). I'm in an 18 right now, which is somewhere I haven't truly been since I was 12. Exciting!

Julie..this site is amazing! I am so thankful for all of you!

And good job mimsy! You have done an awesome job! You have lost over 45 pounds altogether! Wow. That's a real achievement!

I'm in my last year of college, but live at home doing online classes at the moment. It's harder to be on a diet at home than when I was living at college, oddly enough. Something about being around my peers every day made me more self-concious of what I was eating, etc.

Holy moly ! You have done an AMAZING job! You lost over 100 pounds! :carrot: I wish you all the best with you IVF treatments. Do you mind me asking how you were able to lose weight so fast? What sort of regimen did you do besides counting calories? I hear all sorts of things, like high-protein, lo-carb, etc. It's so confusing. Hope you're having a good day today! :):D

That's exactly how I feel. The only thing I've deprived myself of is the very temporary numbing feeling of compulsively overeating and the much longer-lasting shame of not being able to control it.

For me, it wasn't so much a last straw as it was a first step. I had a nasty kidney stone and was told to change my diet or risk another one. That got me started.

Dalliance: Thank you! :) I haven't done anything special, just calorie counting and exercise throughout. I'll send you a PM with some specifics, but really - I've just consistently eaten in a 1200-1500 calorie range, and exercised ~5 days per week. EDIT: Oops, seems you don't have PMs enabled. I target specific macronutrient ratios (less than 25% cals from fat, more than 25% cals from protein, less than 55% cals from carbs, and at least 25g fiber daily), but I have lots of days where I don't hit those and I didn't pay much attention to them at the start. Some people need a lower-carb diet to lose weight effectively, but I don't seem to be one of those. Really I just found that I had to eat well - lean meats/fish and dairy, fruits and veggies, less bread, less sugar - in order to keep to my calorie range, and when I did that I wasn't hungry and didn't feel deprived. I definitely still work treats into my diet, I just have them in smaller amounts and less often than I used to (I'll have one piece of pizza with a salad instead of four pieces of pizza; or an actual half cup of light ice cream or sorbet rather than a big bowl). My exercise has been a mix of cardio (usually 3-4 days/week) and strength training (I target 2 days/week). All in all, I think what I've done is a pretty common formula around here!


Steph: Yup. Positive action has made me feel so much better than overeating ever did!

You seem to have amazing control over everything. After a few days of calculating percentages I would get frustrated. You have a very sensible outlook. I think I'm stuck in the mindset that a diet has to feel bad, i.e. "I feel terrible and deprived so it must be working!" It's really hard to break out of that.

I didn't know I had PMs disabled..maybe it's a thing that newbies have to go through and get after the initial 20 days of joining.

If you don't mind me asking, what kind of cardio do you do? A DVD/VHS, your own routine, or something outdoors? I would love to go walking right now, but it's so freezing and cold outside(I live in Upper Michigan). I'm considering doing some Dancing to the Oldies. I bought the 5 dvd boxed set for myself as a Christmas present, lol. Can't get enough of those booty shorts. :carrot: "Come on ladies, work it!":D

My last straw moment came after my breast cancer diagnosis in May 2011. I had closed my eyes to my weight gain for years - I'm just under 6 feet tall and even when thinner I'm built like an Amazon, and while I can carry the excess weight better than someone much smaller, let's face it - fat is fat. I was always very slender up until I hit my 30's - I'd served in the Army in my 20's, was incredibly active as a teenager, but a really unhappy marriage pretty much got me started on the downward spiral to obesity. At my heaviest, I had reached 300lbs. After my ex and I split up, I got down to 200 lbs, rediscovered my social life, and got involved in a healthier relationship with a much more compatible man. Unfortunately, he ll eat just about anything I put in front of him and I love to cook. The pounds snuck back on, for both of us, but we never really addressed it aside from the occasional comment, "I remember when I used to be skinny."

But my health scare woke me out of my complacency. After my mastectomy, I simply had little appetite. Three weeks later, I had to go back into surgery for a Trans Flap procedure, because what remained of my breast tissue was healing much too slowly and becoming necrotic. That second surgery kicked my butt. Too tired and sore and drugged up with pain meds to move, let alone get up to make something to eat, I lost 15 lbs in 5 weeks. It gave me the incentive I needed to continue losing weight. Realizing that my hormone based breast cancer might have been activated by my excess weight, it's been kind of easy to stay focused on my goal. I wouldn't wish a serious health issue on anyone, but realizing that I want to make the most of the remaining time I have left and how I can't do the things I want to do while overweight, I've more or less found my touchstone to keep on track. Not that it's easy - far from it. But I am determined.

My last straw oh there were so many - I hope this is my last last straw. I saw a picture of me and everyone else looked i know they look and I looked FAT. How could the camera just be skewing me - whoops maybe it is me. Maybe my thighs really are rubbing together.

Oh and I think it would be wonderful not to only be clothes with tags they say "slimming" or "control".

I've had many moments in the past year where I've just felt horrible about my weight, but about a week ago, I met one of my young cousins after years (she's 6 or 7 now) and, as children often do, she would just say whatever's on her mind. When I was first introduced to her as her cousin, she looked at me, laughed and said, "You're so fat". That crushed me.

I know she didn't mean it in a cruel way at all, and her mom immediately apologized to me and told her it wasn't polite to say that, but just having someone say it directly to me for the first time was almost more than I could bear. For ages my parents have been telling me nicely (you know, saying it would be healthier to lose weight, that I was overweight, it would cause problems when I grow older, etc.), but no one's ever been so straightforward and said, "You're so fat".

I don't want to be that person or that relative that people remember only as 'the fat one', but at this point I think I am. I know it's probably too early to say, but I really do think that that is my turning point, and I hope I never forget it.

I really didn't have a last straw. It was more of a personal problem I was going through that put me through a whirlwind of depression, and when I get that depressed, I can't eat. Then it just took off from there. If that didn't happen, who knows how much more weight I would weigh by now. Scary to think about it.

I have loved reading every single one of these "last straws." While I have never been obese and thus have never had actual health issues related to weight, I have looked huge in pictures compared to smaller friends, I have felt out of control with eating, I have used food to make myself feel better. Enough is enough.

Anyway, I hope today is my real last straw. I just saw a picture of myself from during a relatively recent time when I weighed about 133 to 135. I wanted to lose weight at that time to get down to my ideal of 115 to 120. I thought I was big then, but at least I was technically a health bmi. But I looked at those pics today and I thought, wow, I looked so slender, so fit, tiny in pictures compared to some of my friends. And I look at myself in the mirror this morning, at 150 pounds, which is significantly overweight for me (I'm only 5'2" with a smaller frame) and I think, "what HAPPENED to you?" And "Are you going to let this go on?"

So the answer is no, I'm not going to let myself go.