Marriage ending, stopped eating
 

A few days after our 25th wedding anniversary I found out that I am not the only woman in my husband's life.

In 15 days I have lost 16 1/2 lbs. I am very overweight, now 268.5 and plan to use this newfound control to start a new life. The day I found out I of course felt like not eating and and now it is a game..how little can I eat in a day. It gives me something to think about other than the end of life as I know it.

This last straw felt like someone took a plank and hit me on the side of the head. I don't plan to ever get another last straw.

Hey there, I'm new:) For me it was a combination of watching my daughter put on weight and finding out I had high blood pressure. I knew I had to make changes or I was going to be sick and my kids were going to be worse off.

Last straw - I was on a cruise with family including my sister who I hadn't spent much time with over the past 30 years. We were in a pool chatting about when we were kids when she suddenly asked me is I had considered gastric bypass surgery. I was so crushed - felt I had been punched. She told me that my weight would shorten my life and that she was just getting to know me again and didn't want me to die. (My sister is a nurse)

I decided when I got home I never wanted to feel that way again - I also found I kept thinking about death ans I didn't like it.

So.......have been home a week and have lost 6 lbs........

P.S. - After I got over the initial pain/shock of what my sister said I spoke with her. I know she was coming from a place of caring however I let her know that the first time one spends time together in 30 years might not be the best time to approach such sensitive issues, even if she was coming from that caring place.

My last straw moment came during my Senior class trip. We had gone to Virginia Beach and Busch Gardens. I went on a ride and found that I could barely pull the bar down. It was not an enjoyable ride :(

I have a few all in the past month...

Having to throw up constantly from the severe acid reflux created by my unhealthy diet and the realization that I knew the food was going to make me sick and yet I kept on going. Who does that?

We all have that one person we know that we internally tell ourselves that we'll never be "that size". I do not mean this in a nasty or evil way, but we are human and we internally compare our size to others. I had a WHOA moment when I realized that the person I thought I would never gain into was just 10 pounds more than me. I realized then that I was in MAJOR DENIAL and was able to see the reality of my size because of the physical image reflected back at me. I did not truly see where I was and now I have a physical model reflected back at me.

Stepping on the scale this past week and realizing that my scale couldn't hold me. All it said was "ERROR". The scale goes up to 330 pounds. I went to my friend's house where she has a medical grade digital scale that goes up to 500 and my weight popped up to just shy of 340 pounds. Knowing that I couldn't even use a regular scale in my own home was embarassing and inspiring all at the same time.

getting to my highest weight ever, 220. being uncomfortable in my wedding gown, having to have it taken out. that didn't make me snap, but seeing 220 on the scale did.

getting to uk size 24 x

Some of these posts make me want to cry and nod in agreement. It's such a good thread.

I think my two horror moments were: realising that I couldn't put on my favourite boots on anymore because the zips wouldn't do up on the calfs and going back to my husband's family for Xmas and being the biggest one of the "grandchildren" (of that age bracket) when I had always been the smallest.

I mean I can have all the excuses I want, and medication is probably the biggest one, but the long of the short of it is I have gained 40lbs this year and I am pretty much heartbroken about it. I think the worst thing at the moment, even though I am back on track food wise, is seeing the stretchmarks continue to get bigger :(

Mine was this summer when I went to a baseball game with my friends and it was so uncomfortable sitting there in those tiny seats. The whole time I was just counting down the time for when we could leave. We also took a picture of all of us in front of the field and I looked so huge compared to everyone. I didn't like how I looked and wanted to change it.

buying custom suits
 

:comp: Okay, so I've been trying for a while to "get fit" ... well really for my entire adult life. I guess the last straw that motivated me to get more serious about fitness is my custom suits. I invested in three custom tailored suits for work thinking that if the clothes fit better then I'd like the way I look. Nope. Didn't work that way. I got beautifully tailored suits but still wanted to cry when looking in the mirror. I am glad I have the suits because I have a professional need for these suits but I realized that my internal motivation for buying them wasn't so much about my career but my personal desire to hide my flaws. Note: I also used to also dream about plastic surgery ad nauseum as an answer to all my fat prayers. So, I've come to realize that I keep looking for outside factors to "change" me instead of looking within myself.

For those that are interested... I bought my suits from Astor and Black. I chose the fabric color, type and pattern as well as the buttons, color of the thread used to sewn on the buttons, the style of cut (collars, sleeves, etc) and the type of liner inside the jackets. I loved choosing the liners! So fun. :) It took me like 3 hours to choose everything with the help of the representative. The rep also became my personal clothier and she helps me shop for all things fashion from a specialty bras to shoes. I recommend it for anyone looking for a more polished look. I've had many compliments since buying the suits.

I should mention that I grew up on welfare and putting money into clothing was always crazy. Secondhand clothes have been my norm for my entire life. So, these suits provide me with a new perspective on my life... that I've come a long way and I can achieve my dreams professionally... so why not personally too.

Geeze, I think I had an epiphany just writing this out. Thanks for reading. :book2:

schubunny,
I hope you get your "do-over" on that hiking trip. My husband has a mountain that he could not climb called Mt. Katadin in Maine (Baxter State Park). He was so overweight that at the time he tried 3 days in a row to climb to the top of the mountain and then had to give up and go around. Ever since when we talk about his fitness goals he tells me... "Mt. Katadin all the way"... it represents so much to him. Sounds like your hike might be your "Mt Katadin". Good luck!

Oh wow alot of these ring true! Especially the one with with the worn out jeans with the thighs popping out - that's happened to me a couple times, ****, all my jeans end up like that!

My last straw was last week - I've been steadily gaining for years - when I was 60 pounds smaller than I am now I thought wow, I need to do something about my weight (remember I am only 5'1)... but that didn't happen.

Then a couple years later, I was up another 30 pounds, and I thought ok, must do something now... I had a major life change moving from CA to MA to be with my family, and I thought this is great, went to the gym everynight with my cousin for 3 months, then stopped...

Fast forward to now, 2 years later, and a wardrobe of only yoga pants, which should be burned, they do nothing but help you GAIN (at least in my world), again, I knew I had gained, I'm unrecognizable to myself in pics, but honestly had not weighed myself in 2 years - well I bought a scale and just surpassed the 200 mark. I know everyone has their own struggles, but for me that was it - 200 pounds on my 5'1 frame is too much, in 10 years I've close to doubled in size, my legs kill after walking a block from all the weight they're carrying... I remember used to being able to buy cute knee high boots, now my calves don't fit... oh boy, I avoid cameras, won't wear short sleeves anymore... Anyways, I'm trying to do a 180 here, so I appreciate the support of allowing me to ramble and get this out!!! For me it helps - thanks!

I wanna add to mine::

Being the fattest mum in EVERY baby/toddler group that I've been to,

Seeing my family in the summer and feeling terrible the whole time despite spending a lot of money on an outfit,

taking my son to thomas land and having to let my husband go on all but one of the rides with him, the one I did go on the attendant looked at me like dirt, not only that but I saw a lot of pictures from that trip and it was a real shocker for me,

developing carpal tunnel syndrome,

a breast cancer scare in July 2011,

my parents sharing their fears that they may one day bury me...




:( :( Many things have happened to me in my life, things I used as an excuse, a reason not to care about my weight, some valid, some not, but this last year scared me, thank you to the creater of this post, I had begun to forget how I used to feel, thanks for making me think about this, think about myself and why I'm here.


:carrot: :carrot: :carrot: :carrot: :carrot:

My last straw moment seems kinda of silly compared to so many of you.. I had my last straw moment when I realized that I could no longer fit into any of the jeans in my closet. I have probably 15 pairs and can only fit into 1 of them.. So today, I took everything out that I couldn't wear and it's going to be boxed up and put in the bottom of the closet. And the beginning of next month I will go through and see if i can wear any, some are just to tight to wear, they can be buttoned but I ain't sayin it's pretty! LOL

So this is it, I will get into those jeans and I will get into those shorts are are filling up an entire drawer that I can no longer wear either! Watch out summertime!

It was a culmination of things, having to buy size 20 jeans because my 18's wouldn't fit. Not being able to enjoy going out, therefore becoming a hermit, and watching life pass by. Not to mention my health was at stake, being pre-diabetic, having high blood pressure. And to top it all off ,as if the previous wasn't bad enough, just walking from my door to the driveway was making my legs/calves burn in extreme pain, talk about being completely out of shape.

My last straw occured today with this thread:

http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/weig...ts-20-lbs.html

My primary goal for 2012 as of today is to focus on weight loss. I'm talking about making a geniune effort for once in my life.

So many of these struck a note within me!

While there were many small things I had noticed, such as having 1 pair of pants that were so tight (even though they were stretchy) that I knew I should buy a size up but refused, wearing only plus sized clothes, weighing more than my dh...it all came to a head June of last year. My son's 2nd birthday party, which was great and fun. But, when I sat down that night to look at the pictures, all I could see was me...all 231 pounds of me that I had been firmly in denial over. I had heard about medifast, and I ordered it THAT NIGHT, and it was the start of a total change in my life.

I am so thankful it happened before I gained any more :(

I've had many last straws in my life for the past five years. The heap consists of always the same few things(clothes that no longer fit me, back pain, since last year also neck pain, lack of energy, insomnia, not going out, because I'm ashamed of how i look), but last straws keep changing ;)
This time it was the last pair of jeans that fit me, that tore on the spot where my thighs rub.
It was the last pair of pants that fit me.
I had nothing else to wear but one pair of very tight black jeans and one pair of tight blue jeans (both making a disgusting muffin top).
And now I wear those two pairs and pray for them to last me until I lose enough to fit into those that can not be buttoned up anymore. I will not buy new clothes, because my closet is full of clothes of all sizes down :D I even have jeans size 8, that fit me in 2003 or 2004 and I intend to wear them again! Really!

OMG, I'm not the only one!
 

You know when I sat on my couch doing my normal, being lazy, thoughts would go thru my mind. One thought was I am probably the only one feeling the way I geel right now. Having a little pitty party with myself but doing nothing about it.
As others have said, I have had many "final straws"! But my final straw was Christmas. I hope to the good Lord that no one got me clothes, for two reasons: 1. I don't want to be embarrased by the XL on the tag when they have to pick it out, and 2. The clothes probably would not fit because when I saw them 6 months ago at my best friends funeral (my family and I don't live in the same state) I was 15 pounds and 2 sizes lighter.
I am a photographer, but don't like to be in front of the camera, for the obviouse reasons. I am sick and tired of not wanting my picture taken. I have good hair (when I try), I have a cute face with makeup on (in my opinion), and I can dress decent; BUT, I don't like myself enough to try!
I want to not only be a bit slimmer, but I want to be healthier, have more energy, and feel better about myself; for me, my husband, my kids, and my photography business...
Thank you all for reading, I guess I had alot to say, sorry!:stress::stress::stress:

The Last straw for me was January 7th. That was the day that my husband of 14 years decided to tell me that I looked like a bull dozer and he felt insecure standing next to me. (he's 5'10" and 150lb). He went upstairs, took a shower and when he came down he said.."I'm going out." I have not seen him since except when he picked up some clothes.
2 years ago I was really in shape but my mom had a stroke and I chose to care for her in my home until she died. I have put on 50 lbs in 2 years. I went from a size 8 to a size 16.
Now here I am, no husband, no mom, and 40. But ya know what?? I refuse to let anyone define who I am. Thats my job. I have a plan, and a goal, and a life. I see me for me, and I will succeed.
As for the husband...yes I miss him, but some how I think his leaving is a blessing in disquise. I can now get back to me. Besides...I can lose weight...tone up..get my self esteem back...but for him...you cant fix ugly..anyone who would leave a mariage based on 50 pounds is a sallow a** who does not deserve to have wonderful woman in their life such as myself..(Toot, Toot!) Blessings! Vickie

One, I looked in the mirror and realised I wouldn't do me. Two, I refused to buy another pair of pants that had elastic and the ones I had were getting holey.

I see women in their 40's and 50's that look better than me. That's my motivation. Final straw? Avoiding going on vacation, which I want to do very much, because I don't want to be seen on the beach. My mid-section is very umm...like a water bed since having my son 9 years ago. When I sit down I have rolls. :( I don't expect to be perfect but I find I am extremely uncomfortable with my appearance all the time. I have made several attempts but things kept getting put off due to personal issues.

My last straw came in August. In June I had a physical and because I had missed my TOM for 4 months the doctor sent me for blood work and an ultra-sound. Turns out that I have PCOS, cholestoral that is higher than is healthy for some one my age, and higher than average blood glucose as well.

That was a pretty scary realization the doctor also said the best thing I could do for all 3 issues is to lose 15-20lbs. My BMI puts me as overweight on most charts and with the way I have been gaining weight over the last 2 years I would be 220lbs within the next 5 years. I can see myself spiraling out of control and I am really not ok with it. The worst part is in December 2010 I managed to lose 10lbs and went down to 147lbs I then gained it back plus 10lbs more.

I remember back to when I was in my early twenties have so much energy and stamina and being so active and I wonder what happened to that person.

In September I joined a gym again and although my eating habits and exercise habits haven't been great I have managed to lose and keep of 5lbs which is a start. I am really motivated and I don't ever want to see myself looking like this ever again.

This past summer I was so embarrassed by my size that I refused to wear shorts (I don't even own any). I also do not own a bathing suit of any kind or skirts. There are pictures that were taken of me this summer at close to 170lbs and I look and them and am ashamed. These are occasions where I thought I looked good too I had dressed up but I still look so large.

I am determined to lose this weight, I am ready to wear shorts again and go swimming without feeling embarrassed

Not really a last straw so much as a "keep going straw" was when my grandma told me Saturday told me I was prettier after losing 30lbs.. no, it wasn't in a "awww you look great!" way either.

She's definitely one of my main fuels to keep going. I do NOT want to be her!

What did it for me was when even my Spanx, Flexees etc could no longer force my torso into the hourglass that I was still convinced that I had.

It was just after Christmas, so I took Jan 1 as my starting date. No more desserts, no more white flour, no more fried food. 1500 calories a day and it is starting to show results.

I saw pictures of me from the side and that did it. I looked horrible. I have never weighed this much in my life. That woke me up and made me decided to get healthy and back to healthy weight. Plus, I want to show my dd the healthy WOE.

July of 2010 I picked myself up after a serious heartbreak, decided I didn't want to use food as an emotional crutch as I had all of my life. July 2011 I had lost 80 pounds, but have since gained back 20 after again heartbreak. But no more. :)

Last May I realised I was uncomfortable sitting Indian style while using my laptop; it took me a few days (lord knows why!) to figure out why and then it hit me. I had fat rolls - not just one, but two that touched and it was really uncomfortable to sit and use my laptop at the weight I was.

I freely acknowledge that realising I was too fat to sit & use my laptop in my normal position is not a great thing to give me a wake-up call, but I'm very grateful I realised where I was headed when I did, and I've managed to make changes and lose some of the weight before I got too far down that road. :)

Last straw: Photo of me looking like a stuffed sausage on New Year's Eve in one of my favorite sweaters :tantrum:

Anger can be a very good motivator. I don't mind being angry at myself. I'm not upset or sad or any of that.. I'm angry, and anger motivates me to change.

I had mine about 6 weeks ago. I knew I had put on weight (25 lbs in 3 years) and wanted to lose it but just couldn't get myself started. I picked up a doughnut in the cafeteria in our office building for breakfast and the lady behind the counter said "you arn't really going to eat that, are you?" I paid for it and then threw it in the trash. It really ticked me off and hurt my feelings, but it also made me think, "I'll show her". I started excercising that week and cut out all sugars, breads, bad carbs 2 weeks later. I'm down 7 lbs!

I put on weight very slowly, about two pounds every year since 2000. When summer came and I started to wear lighter clothes I noticed my body was shaped like my mother's, who has always been overweight. Though I am well into my forties I do not feel old, but seeing in my body the traces of hers, who has a Victorian mentality, was the last straw. I feel young and I want to look the way I feel.

Around the same time my mom was diagnosed with diabetes I stepped on the scale and saw 199lbs. I couldn't believe I was basically 200 lbs. Growing up with an obese mother, I told myself I would never let myself be that unhealthy. Half of my mom's siblings have diabetes. My aunt nearly died bc of undiagnosed diabetes, and she is now legally blind from it. My maternal grandfather had diabetes and died of a heart attack at age 60, and my paternal grandfather almost died from heart disease and had to have a double bypass. My great grandfather also lost a leg to diabetes. They are/were all obese. I do not want to die at a young age, I want to live a long life. Seeing 199 lbs was a wake-up call that I was travelling down the same unhealthy path, setting myself up for the same health problems. I was also unable to wear my jeans anymore (had to wear sweatpants) and I refused to buy a larger size.

PHOTOS -- obviously..they are the devil. i wish i could say it was one moment that made me change. it wasn't. i'm just sick of hiding from the camera. sick of breaking a sweat in the dressing room and cursing myself.


but, lets reminesce about the many times i looked like land whale but refused to really do anything about it:

holiday party at work. a picture of me and two other girls. i'm a little drunk so the typical suck it in and pose didn't happen. i think my EYELIDS had rolls. i had like 3 chins. my face just looked like when you open that pop can of pillsbury biscuit dough. pasty and fat.


i went to a taping of late night with jimmy fallon. had a great time. was so excited to see the episode to see if i was in it. oh, i was. so were my flapping, jiggling arms.


the next one is with family. i was in this skirt that i thought was super cute and some layered tops. i thought it made me look lean. till i saw a picture of me from the side where i'm sitting and my fat is all rolled and tucked into itself. to top it off, my neck looks like a turkey.


i CANT WAIT to just be able to look good in photos.

you're damn right. how terrible! i'm sorry for your loss and here's to finding someone wonderful who will appreciate you for you (but not mind your smokin hot bod either!)

My Final Straw
 

Sometime in October, a good friend of mine from college that I hadn't seen in about a year, came to hang out with me and my husband for the weekend. Although she was never really overweight (in comparison to me), she and I bonded in previous years over being 'curvaceous' and complaining about our struggles about having to watch everything we eat. I opened the door and my jaw dropped. She had lost a bunch of weight and was at a size that I could only dream of being. More than the numbers, she exuded a confidence that I hadn't seen in myself in years. Sitting there, having a glass of wine with her and my husband catching up, I suddenly felt very insecure and uncomfortable in my own skin. I began having flashbacks of being the "fat friend" again back in middle school and high school and after she left, I chastised myself for looking at it in such a superficial way. I tried to push it out of my mind, but before long I found myself digging out and dusting off the ol' bathroom scale.

When the number hit the 300 pound mark, I wanted to cry. I had never been that heavy in my entire life and had been in denial about how much I had ballooned in the past few years. I had guessed that I was around the 250 mark, but never imagined that I could possibly be at 300 pounds before the age of 25.

It all started to make sense. The huffing and puffing as I walked from class to class, the circling the parking lots until I found a parking spot closest to the door, the sudden decline in my sex life with my husband, being unable to sit in chairs (that I had no problem fitting into before) without the arms digging into my sides, no longer wanting to have candid pictures taken of me.

It wasn't that I didn't notice I was overweight. ****, I can't remember a time in my life when I wasn't. It's just that I had accepted that I'd always be a big girl, and why waste my time killing myself to try to be something that I'm not? After that, I knew I didn't want to live like this anymore and it was up to me to change it, but still I made excuses that I would deal with it later - that I was under enough stress as it is with school, work, new house, being a newlywed, etc.

Then my final, final :lol: straw came a couple weeks ago when the new school semester began and I walked into a college classroom of about 30 other students. I looked around the room and noticed that the desks were some of those old-fashioned desks I remember from elementary school. Immediately, my heart began to pound in my throat and I started to worry if I would even be able to fit in one of those. I managed to gracefully stuff myself into the desk without drawing too much attention to myself.

Then the professor announced that we would be going around the room, standing up and introducing ourselves to the class. I looked around at the other females in the class and it seemed they could practically squeeze a whole another person between them and the edge of the desk. I started to worry if I would end up taking the flimsy desk with me when I went to stand up to introduce myself, so I literally sat sideways on the edge of the seat throughout all the other introductions (not knowing when I was going to be called on) so I wouldn't have to slide myself out of the desk when my turn came. After I finished my introduction, I sat back down and hung my head and remember thinking, "This is no way to live.." I decided then and there if I'm go to do this, I'm going to do this now and do this the right way. No excuses.

I started a new job last year advocating for people to get Social Security Disability Benefits (SSDI and SSI). I noticed that 90+% of our claiments were obese. Alot of people have like 10 conditions relating to their obesity and unhealthy lifestyle. I see so many cases of Diabetes, High Blood Pressure, High Cholesterol, Back problems, Depression, Anxiety, etc. and alot of these conditions begin in people's 30s and 40s! Alot of our clients are super sick and miserable. I am so always happy when that rare client calls me and tells me that they lost 60+ pounds and their conditions went away and they can work again. I know of course weight loss isn't a cure for alot of people but I wonder if many of our clients would be in the position they were if they managed their health better.

I made up my mind that I didn't want to be like one of the people I help. I have a predisposition to diabetes and high blood pressure and don't want to get sick so after a couple false starts last fall, I got it together and am now down 20ish pounds.

What a great thread! I agree with so many of the motivations - not fitting into clothes, pain from the slightest movement, fear of not being able to fit into a chair or seat belt, negative comments on weight gain, etc.

However, the final straw for me was being obese for a milestone celebration in my son's life during the spring in 2011. I have a few kids, but they are far apart in age and it's kind of like having 2 families. I had my older kids when I was in my 20s, and always thought of myself as one of the younger and thinner and prettier moms. After I had my older "babies," I was one of those who always had people telling me I didn't even look like I just had a baby or asking where all the baby weight went. I was pretty pleased with myself during those years, although I didn't have to do any work for my figure. I had my younger kids in my mid thirties and suddenly the weight stuck on. I added 15 or 20 pounds with each subsequent pregnancy, and my last pregnancy I gained about 60 pounds from being on bedrest that never came off. Now, for my younger kids, I am one of the older, fatter, and frumpier moms.

I always thought that I would look good (thin, stylish, young) for my older kids events. I can forgive myself for not being the youngest, thinnest, or prettiest with my younger ones, but not my older ones. For my older ones, I am supposed to be the young mother - the one that people ask, "You must have been a teenager when you had him - you look like you could be his sister, not his mother!" Well, I looked like an obese grandmother at my son's party - let's just say my mother in law (the actual grandma!) got more compliments on her appearance (she is very thin, btw) than I did! Of course, I had made a promise to myself to lose weight for the event, and didn't. I thought, "If I look and feel this bad now, how am I going to look and feel when my younger children reach this milestone? Will I still even be around?"

So, I got back on 3FC, and started slowly changing my diet and moving more. It's a challenge, but I am determined to get my groove back and look even better for my younger kids (as an older mom!) than I did as a younger mom with my older kids!

:comp: LBLAZY, thank you for sharing your story. I read it the whole way through and really empathized with your story. I'm glad you shared it with the group.

:comp: Katy, congrats on being OP for a whole year!

:comp: mkendrick, and you look like you are close to goal too! congrats!!

When my friends said I looked a little green and purple in the face and what happened to my gorgeous cheek bones? A plump face isn't that attractive. Grrr. But at least I'm keeping my spirits up about it all. And I think that is half the battle.