I'm lagging. I'm falling into the old seasonal shift I hate my life and want to feed trap. So...this is a bit [lot] rambling...
Next month, I'm turning 25. Every year, I say "This is the last year I'll be overweight." I said it last year, too, before I turned 24. I lost 30 pounds, got pregnant, gained 25 of it back (mostly baby), had the baby, lost what I'd gained + 20 pounds.
Why aren't I happy?
I'm five measley pounds away from ONEderland...that's why. I'm both terrified of and desperate to reach 199. 199 will meant 56 pounds gone.
Realistically, I know I should count my successes and not my failures. Yes, I'm still 45 pounds above my goal weight. But, I've lost 50 pounds.
Ah yes. 50 pounds. If I look like a heifer now, what did I look like 50 pounds ago? That's not a productive tangent...sorry, guys...
Another New Year and another birthday significantly overweight. This is depressing and demoralizing.
(Note: I have SAD and there's next to no sun + 8 inches of snow on my lawn. The weather is not helping my outlook.)
I truly understand how you feel, I tend to get a little down during this time of year. I reflect on how unhappy I was all year, and I almost feel like I wasted an entire year of my life.
BUT I am looking forward to 2010 being wayyyy better for me, and I know it will be. I'm sure it will be the same for you as well. You have made a remarkable change already, so try and give yourself kudos for that.
Well, you might try reframing some of those negative thoughts.
For example - I'm not even 25 yet...thank goodness I'm working on this now, so I'm not obese into my 30's, 40's, and beyond. Because 25, really, is pretty young compared to the scope of the rest of your life. So good for you for working on your health while you're in the start of your adult life.
I know reframing can feel kind of silly, but it's really helpful for me...you keep saying it until you believe it, and eventually, you do.
And you might look into getting a sun lamp or other SAD treatment, if you know you suffer from it. There are effective ways to treat this, and you don't have to live with it.
You're doing great. In spite of all the challenges you have faced, you have lost 56 pounds! That is a great success. And, you're only turning 25! There are plenty of folks on 3FC, me being one, who waited decades longer to even begin. It really is true that most of your life is ahead of you! And it can be a satisfying, productive, and healthy life!
Don't let the winter blahs get in your way. Keep up with your planning--don't give up if you slip a few times--try again, stay with it--keep paddling, and you won't sink!
Just wanted to offer encouragement. You are doing great, so be proud of yourself! Try to celebrate your achievements if you can. And rather than looking at the total weight you still need to lose, try to take it in 5 or 10 pound "chunks". I found that to be helpful for myself. Each "decade" of pounds I graduated down to was an achievement, so I'd tell myself, "10 pounds more, 10 pounds more". Good luck to you.
Have you considered investing in one of those light devices to help you with SAD? I have no idea how much they cost but if it helps maybe you could consider getting one for the area you spend the most time in at home?
You're doing great. Something I'd look at if I were in your shoes is that you didn't loose just 50 lbs. Sure, that's your net loss. But in reality, you lost 80 pounds. You'd lost 30 before you got pregnant. And more importantly, you had the will and strength of character to recommit after your pregnancy and lose the baby wait and an additional 25 lbs. You can do this. It might take a while, but it's entirely doable. And depending on when your birthday is, you might even be able to hit 199 by then. All you have to do is take it one day at a time. One pound at a time.
That sounds like the conversation I had with myself at the beginning of this year. Actually that sounds like several conversations I've had with myself and yeah, they generally fell around my birthday or the start of a new year.
I guess what hit home for me was reading something on 3FC one day that said (summarizing) that the time is going to pass whether or not we do anything about our weight. A year from now, do I still want to be having this conversation with myself about how miserable I am from being obese, or do I want to spend the time losing weight? The year is going to happen whether I like it or not. I discovered 3FC back in 2006 and didn't really get going until 2009. Gee, I could have lost the weight three times by then.
That was a tough pill to swallow but it helped me get started for the last time.
Think about how far you have come from a year ago at this time. I am willing to bet that a year ago you would have given anything to lose 50 pounds. You've done that and made the weight loss a reality; that is a lot to be proud of.
Dragged down
