Dealing with failed expectations- pic
 

I haven't been 160 pounds since I was a kid. In fact, I haven't been under 200 pounds since I was a kid. So, needless to say, I had big expectations about one should look like at 160. I am only about 15 pounds overweight, and it sure doesn't look like it. I can't stand it- this is what I expected my body to look like at 190 or 200, but not 160. I'm only about 15 pounds away from goal, and now it seems like I'm just going to have to keep going and going. Am I ever going to be a normal size?

Is there something wrong with me that I still look like this at this weight?

Has anyone else had this experience?

http://i906.photobucket.com/albums/a...g?t=1258816359

Keep in mind you're your own harshest critic. I'll be exstatic when I get that small. And since you are smaller now, another 15 pounds lost is going to look more dramatic than it did at your highest weight. Don't let yourself get discouraged before you've even made it. You can assess whether or not you feel you need to continue once you reach goal. For now, just push for that original goal. I think those 15 pounds are going to change more than you think.

Do you think you were more toned as a kid? I'm not sure how old you are now, but my doctor said it you can maintain the same weight as childhood but it takes more work to do it as you get older. It does suck to get to a goal weight and realize that things just aren't the same as before.

I don't know because I've never weight trained, but I've heard that weight training will help tone. I personally wouldn't worry about it until you take off the last 15 pounds, and then assess the situation.

I looked at your before/after pics and you've already had such a great, dramatic transformation!

Ashley,
Thanks- normally I would agree with you, but I have a picture of me from 10 pounds heavier, and 15 pounds heavier, and the differences are minimal. Thanks for your answer, however.

I think you look FABULOUS actually! In fact, I could only hope to look 1/2 that good when I'm that weight *sigh*... :( Certain parts of my body will never look that way though (I'd kill for your stomach).

Maybe, if anything, you could work on toning. That'd probably tighten things up a bit and you'd FEEL smaller even if you aren't that much.

I understand. Your body looks ALOT like mine yet I have to hear all the time how I am fine blah blah blah. It doesn't help that my friends that I hang out with most of the time look WAY better than me and don't have to try. But having lost those last 15 lbs before.....I know it does make a BIG difference. Have faith!

I agree with Ashley, get to your goal then re-assess if that's where you want to be. What kind of exercise do you do? Do you incorporate strength and core training with any cardio that you do? I've found that by including those kind of exercises from the beginning of my journey that it's helped so much with loose skin. I would suggest adding some core training into your workouts and you'll be toned up in no time!

Jillian Michael's and the TBL crew use strength training during their circuit training to maximize fat burn, as well as strengthen the muscles.

I think you'd look great, I'd love to look like you!

I think you are looking great - I am really impressed by how lovely your skin is. I lost a lot less weight than you did and I have lot more sag. At 160 lbs, I was in a size 16 and much bigger than you (as far as I can remember - it has been awhile!)

As far as goal weights, you are 5'4" and your ultimate goal is 145?

I am 5'7", my initial goal was 150. When I reached 150, I wasn't happy so I kept losing weight. I ended up around 130.

I had never been 130lbs. Maybe, for a few weeks in high school as I zipped past it, so my final weight and how I looked was a huge surprise. A wonderful, pleasant surprise.

Yes, I did feel like I lost weight forever. It took me about 6 months to go from 200 lbs to 140 lbs. Then, it took me 9 months to lose the last 10 lbs! I am not saying that to freak you out, but just to set some potential expectations about how tough it might be to lose that bit of weight.

The last 10 lbs made a huge difference for me, I ended up a size 6.

I was a lot older than you when I started and my body is still not perfect. Like I said, I have some sagging skin on my belly, upper inner thighs and under my arms. My body is still shaped the same as when I was heavy - I'm still a short waisted pear. I have come to accept and love myself and my new body - it is not perfect but it looks so much better. I look awesome in clothes (and a good sexy bra with uplift!!) so shopping is a joy. I have a closet full of great clothes and I look forward to getting dressed everyday!

I don't know what to tell you about the weight you were as a kid, except to say that few adult women go back to their childhood shape. With the ability to bear children, comes with the extra body fat to bring those children into the world as healthy as possible. A womanly shape is beautiful!

I think the next 10 or 15 pounds will make a bigger difference than you realize. That's been true for me.

Also, I see nothing wrong with the way you look at 160. Perhaps you should adjust your expectations.

Jay

I know you are probably tired of hearing this but: OMG you look really good! I would love to have your cute tummy! You are doing such great job and you shouldn't let yourself get discouraged. :hug:

You are much farther along the journey than I am, so I can't give much advice about the last 10-15 lbs but what the others are saying makes sense. Reassess when you get to your original goal weight, until then if you are not already doing so, do some weight training. up the intensity. I've heard Jillian say thousands of times that lunges and squats really help condition and lift the booty area and what not. Do some research on some weight training dvd's you can do at home. I've heard a lot of good things about the 'chalean extreme' series. 3fc even has a thread for it in the exercise dvd forum. I ended up ordering it and am anxious to start it. I haven't yet because I'm letting a back ache heal up first just to be sure I don't really mess myself up.

I always look at your progress pics when I need a boost because youhave done such a fantastic job! Keep it up!

you look really good. I think you should incorporate more weights into your routine. I think you would tone up fast. That's all I see by the way, you could tone a little more, but other than that fantastic!

Whoa! You look fantastic! I think if you just tone up you will be a lot happier with the way you look! I hope I have such a great stomach when I get to goal!

Hang in there! The magnitude of each pound lost seems to change as you get closer. At 152, I've got muffin top and cellulite. At 149, I don't. I've made that round trip a couple times in the last 6 weeks, and all I can say is you're on the threshold of seeing some enormous changes. Keep up with the pictures every 5 pounds ... seriously!

I agree with Glory. Sometimes weight goals have to be adjusted as you travel down. I adjusted mine--first was to leave obese, then to leave overweight and then I went down from there according to what was right for me. You have come so far. Claim your success thus far! Own that success and if you aren't happy with the way things are looking, keep going! Obviously you know how to do it--you are doing it and have done it. You are in a great position here! Yay you!

Kelly~Been following your Weight loss from the beginning basically because Were so close on our weights....But I am always 10 to 15 pounds behind ya.
Anyways....You seems like a pear shape To where I am an apple shape.
I adore your BELLY~Mine is a mess....So we all have areas that bug us & usually those areas go with the last few pounds I hear.Anyways with that being said I totally agree with all that thighs has said above.........Just wanted to add....I AM VERY PROUD OF YOU~AND JUST LOOK AT HOW FAR YOU HAVE CAME!!!! When I get depressed over body issues Now I just think to my self I was way worse than I think I am now.HUGS GIRL!

Kelly,

I too can relate. I have now crossed two different "goal weights" I had set for myself, and I am still not happy. But, it is true... the lower you get, the more of a difference each pound is going to make. I woke up the other morning just feeling thinner, and I had lost a lb... and you could *see* the difference in that one lb.

Being close to the finish line is harder than I thought it would be. I am constantly battling in my head "is it my goal weight or my expectations that need to change here?" and it's probably a bit of both. I thought at 130, I would look something like a model... but at 130, I still look like me... everything is just smaller. But I still have cellulite, I still have my pear shape, my jiggly thighs and my ample butt, lol.

Either way, I agree with everyone else here, I think you look great! We truly are our harshest critics. Everyone tells me I look so tiny, but I don't feel tiny.

And I am going to be starting the body for life challenge soon, to try to incorporate more weight training. I do think weight training will help to tone some of my "wobbly bits" lol.

I think you look great! And I hear all the time that those last 10 or 15 pounds make a huge difference.

You can think of it this way. I have a friend who maintains her weight at around 135 most of the time, recently she gained about 15 pounds and it made a huge difference she went from a size 6 to a size 10, she looked rounded and couldn't fit into her swim suit. Anyway my point...10-15 pounds make such a difference when you are smaller.

But really I think you look great( I can't wait to look this good :-) )

You look like you weigh 160 - you definitely don't look heavier. You've probably have had the same shape as you've lost weight.

My last 15 pounds made a difference in my midsection.

Is there something wrong with me that I still look like this at this weight?

No! You've done an amazing job and your skin looks wonderful.

I have a few points that I'm thinking about ...

One is that I wish 3FC could put the words fail and failure in the censor :devil:

Recently, in the Featherweights forum, there's been a discussion just like this. Just like LittleMoonRabbit talks about. In fact all over these boards folks talk about rethinking goals.

Even bathingsuit models have cellulite.

Go to a store today ... one with a dairy section. Have a good sturdy look at 15 pounds of butter.

I'm hurrying here because I have to go to work, so I don't recall if you exercise. But if you do ... even if you never lose another pound, you will shrink.

Once I got to a normal BMI, each pound or two has made a huge difference.

Remember that 3FC is here for you. You had fans when you started. You have fans at 160. You'll always have friends who support you here.

Kelly, you are getting great advice here. You do look awesome! Count me in on your tummy love train. After 2 kids, mine looks like wilted lettuce. For me 15 lbs ago, I was a size 10-12 (see my avatar). Today at 135 I'm a 6-8. 2 sizes in 15 lbs. So those last 15 lbs do make a huge difference.

As far as your goal weight, you can change it! But you can decide when you get there. I got to 140, my initial goal, and decided that I was going to keep on going and let my body decide where it should be. I'm still exercising alot for the toning and am slowing starting to eat a little more. I keep thinking that I'm done because I feel and look great. But the scale has been SLOWLY creeping down 1-2 lbs a month.

ditto! I think you have a body you can feel proud and happy about. and man, looking at what you did, all the weight you lost to get there. so impressive (!!)

I think you look great and have done a fantastic job! I agree with some of the other posters here that at this point 10 to 15 pounds will make a huge difference in the way you look and clothing sizes. I am an inch shorter than you and my original goal was 135. At 135 I still felt fat and was wearing 6's and 8's. At 125 (only 10 pounds) bring on the 2's. Now at 115 to 120 (having a hard time keeping here, LOL) I can wear a 0. It seems like I shrunk really fast in the last 20 pounds, even though it took longer than the first 50 to lose. Hang in there and don't be so critical of the way you look.....You look wonderful!

Its amazing how differently we each carry our weight. I'm the same height as you and weigh 161.6 as of this morning. But I think you look a heck of a lot better than I do! I carry a lot more weight in my stomach than you do...add the fact that I have somewhat saggy skin and stretch marks from pregnancy...its not a pretty sight at all lol I think my thighs are quite a bit bigger than yours too. I only hope to look as good as you do now when I'm at goal! I'm not just saying that either--I really mean it. I don't even think you look 160lbs....I would have guessed you weighed more like 140. Don't be so hard on yourself because you look GREAT!!

Ditto on what the others have said--the closer you get to goal, you'll see bigger changes in your appearance with each lb lost.

I think you look great Kelly! :)

Stay Motivated
 

I think that you look awesome! Stay motivated and you will see the progress you are making.

I think the results that you are looking for (body composition) would be achieved through a good strength training program.

Once you get smaller, you realize that numbers really don't mean anything - it becomes body composition. If you keep a solid meal plan and practice a good strength training program for 6 months or so, I think you will really begin to see the results you are looking for.

Just for the record, hun, I think you look great!

Wow you look great :) I hope I look that good when I get down to the weight you are, though I'm sure I won't. You look a similar shape to me in a lot of your photos so I have also been taking a lot of interest in your progress - these photos have inspired and motivated me a lot. I'm sure the next 15lb will make a big difference but if they don't make enough difference you can always change your goal or tone more, etc.

I think your just being hard on yourself if you had not said what you weighed I wouldve guessed 130 at the most. You look awesome!

YOu look fabulous! I would kill for your tiny waist...whoa! Good for you keep it up!

First off, you've lost 125 freakin pounds, amazing! I'm an inch shorter than you and a little different body shape but I was most comfortable around 130, I felt and looked healthy and most important of all my body wasn't fighting back every day to regain weight on me. Fast forward two babies later, we've got a ways to go to get back there! Don't get discouraged, you look amazing - most women on these boards would kill for your body. :)

Yea I could get down to 100 pounds and never have that body so quit your complaining woman! Just kidding! But really! You look great and Im green with envie!

I personally think you look amazing. You have the kind of body I'd love to have

Thank you all for your comments. You're right, I'll just see what the next 15 pounds have in store- I'm so used to having 50 pounds be the only thing that makes a difference! But I guess it's not like that at this weight. I think I'm just struggling with those body image issues that will necessarily be part of the "awkward in between stages".
Thanks! :hug: I feel much better.

Kelly, I can really relate to this. I could see small differences when I was losing, but it wasn't until I started to approach 45-50 pounds lost that I was really seeing the difference in a meaninful way. I noticed the 5 pounds between 50 and 55 lost a lot more than I thought I would and I think this last 10 or so pounds will make a big difference. BUT....it's going really slow so I'll have to be patient, I guess.

Add my comments to all the others--there are women who would KILL for your waist and tummy. Seriously.

I have come to understand it as this - you can either be happy with what you have, or be unhappy, but either way, you're stuck with it. YES, we can lose excess weight and transform our bodies. But once we get to goal and find our bodies aren't perfect... we can't change that, that's just how our bodies are. You can really look at yourself and find every single flaw about your body and hate it, or you can really look at yourself and find every single beautiful part of your body and love it; you're stuck with the same body either way, so I figure, why not choose to love it for what it is?
I still have a big stomach. I probably will still have a big stomach 10 pounds from now. But I've got GREAT lower legs and a nice face and TONS of other wonderful features. What's it matter if my stomach isn't perfect?
I still think negative thoughts about it sometime, but then I can CHOOSE to think positive ones instead. Your body is your body. You'll be happiest if you can learn to love it for what it is and see past the few miniscule flaws and see it in all its beauty instead. It's not easy but it's worth it, trust me.

You look really great! I agree with the others, the last 10-15 lbs can make a huge difference. If you still don't like the way you look when you reach goal, either change your goal or start focusing on toning up.