all around me are reports of american obesity. even more prevalent are stories of how impossible weight loss is, how many regain the weight, how many give up on their plans. then i come here and i see SO many people that are successfully losing weight (most of them without using fancy/expensive plans). not 5 or 10 either, but women and men losing 30, 70, 100+ lbs. these chicks are NOT giving up. i read about several month long plateaus, and how the people are still sticking on plan. i dont think i know one person (in real life) who has lost over 100 lbs. equally impressive, theres a whole community of people who are KEEPING their weight off for years!!

what the heck is going on in this place? lol. do you think that the people who give up just sort of disappear, so only the chicks who are having success stick around? do you think the support of the site helps?

just curious

I think, at least for me, seeing the success stories and not having it be celebrities paid to lose the weight, is a big motivation for myself. The support, the caring, the friendships. I look forward to reading and posting on the boards every day. It helps keep me on track, even though I don't post by daily eating habits, knowing that I may be able to help someone else is enough to keep me accountable to myself.
The women and men on this site are amazing.
I am just speaking for myself here of course, for how it has helped me, and why it helps me.
Making the commitment to sign up for the forums and posting is a hard step for a lot of people. I admit it was hard for me. I had heard about the site a few years ago, but I was too embarrassed to post my weight, etc. Too much ridicule in the past, led to low self esteem. I am a different person than I was then. Once I asked my ex to move out, I became outgoing and happier, and not caring what others think about my weight. I am doing this for me and my future.

So I guess it is mindset as much as the support here. Knowing others are in the same and similar situation helps a lot. Any time I went to weightwatchers in the past or TOPS or wherever I was always the biggest person there, and that is always hard.


Sarah

I think it's that success breeds success. I don't know many (any?) people in real life who have lost a significant amount of weight and kept it off. So to come here and see that there are LOTS of people who have lost and maintained their weight is a HUGE boost to me and a huge source of support. I think the fact that the maintainers stick around after they lose the weight is such a key thing. They don't have to; they could just jog off into the sunset in their tiny jeans and cute little dresses. But they don't. They stay here and prove to us all, every day, that this can be done.

The other reason is the quality of the moderation. The moderators use a skilled hand when determining when sit back and let the conversation unfold and when to step in with their wise and gentle skill to stop things before they get hurtful or out of hand. I've been to other weight loss support sites that are not moderated (or are very loosely moderated) and it's a hurtful, screaming free-for-all. So I do not take for granted the quality of moderators that we have here. They simply do not allow hurtful, unhelpful discourse.

And I think that is why 3FC is so successfull.

I think it is several things.

First, we're realists here. The things that we discuss here, the maintainers forum, the prevailing attitude that we're making changes for life (based, in large part, on what has made our maintainers successful)...these are all realism. So people coming here may have a mindset of "I'll go on a diet, lose weight, and then go back to eating the way I did" or "I'll find the magic pill", but the prevailing mindset of the community helps to reset that expectation. So people go into their plans, here, with realistic expectations.

Second, we have a focus here on maintenance that I've yet to find anywhere else. And if you peek your head into the maintenance forum, you'll see that we ALL struggle, fluctuate, and generally go up and down. That reality isn't discussed, really, that I've seen. So add that with the "realist" mindset of changes being for life, and you have a lot of people who are realizing the facts and making the decision that it is WORTH IT, despite the challenges. Those are the people that stick around.

I do also think that successful strategies are shared openly here, and I know I've gotten some good ideas, strategies, and tips from our wonderful members. Those strategies have helped me in the short term (help with immediate cravings, support for specific situations) AND in the long-term (new cooking ideas and ingredients, new exercise ideas).

But we're also a BIG community. This is a sad realization, but of the many, many people who've joined and started, the number of genuinely active posters (and even more the maintainers forum) is still, relatively at least, pretty small. There are many, many more people that join this community than you could know in real life, so you'll have, based on sheer numbers, more people reach and maintain goals.

Still, 3FC is a special place with so many wonderful posters that the support and success can't help but rub off on everyone else.

3FC is a support system and I honestly believe that is why so many people here have had success. We are a community that came together, sharing the same goals. For me personally, it's the fact that we are a community of REAL people. Not another gimmick. Not an infomercial with paid actors. Real people, just like you and me. That is what I love most about 3FC. When I need motivation, everyone here is always so encouraging. Whether I've had an off day or didn't lose as I had hoped, people can relate to me and that is such a good feeling. I never feel alone on this journey.

I have never lost more than 5 pounds (let alone kept it off) until joining 3FC. And I truly believe that I would still be at my highest weight if I hadn't joined. I'm 14 pounds lighter and 3FC is a huge part of that.

I'm grateful to be a part of this community.

Also (not to dampen the greatness of 3FC), from a statistical point of view there is a self-selecting bias going on here- people choose to come and post, and only the dedicated ones and people who have truely made a commitment stay. People who arent successful or who give up generally stop posting so you never actually *see* the non-success stories, because only the people who contrinue too trudge on continue to be here. People (myself included) also have a tendency to post when they are doing well and not so much when they are off track. So we see a biased sample really of success. Which is still helpful its much better to be reading about success and getting motivation to keep going!

Accountability and always being there. I think the internationality helps there - I can post in the middle of the night UK and there'll be someone to read it. Sometimes you can get hundreds of views but few answers. That's OK, it's not possible to have an answer every time but it helps to think that all those people have heard my problem/success.

Then there are key posters who are so committed and determined to make the site work. They are stars and candidates for sainthood!

I think because people discuss the emotional aspects behind it. This is the only forum I've really been on, and I've been on alot, where I so often say "omg, me too!!, I totally understand how this person feels/felt" . Eating because you are bored? hate shopping? living at home with yummy food all around? feel shy about telling people you are on a diet? I think every aspect has been discussed, and somehow all the people here came up with ways to deal with all of these things that come up with weight loss.

I then can read how they are dealing with the emotions or read people's advice to other people.

There have been many research studies that have found that participating in a support group, does help people make desired changes (not only weight loss, but substance abuse, compulsive gambling, sex addiction....). There was just a recent study that found that actively participating in an online support group can be nearly as effective as belonging to in-person support groups - and people who used both were even more successful than using either alone.

I think that a support system is very important, and 24/7 access is a perk.

However, I do think that there are many of us who don't fit the stereotypical model of success, and yet don't fit the stereotype for failure either. I've lost 75 lbs, but I've been a member for more than 6 year. I've only been a regular participant with no relapses and significan regains for less than three (but that's still an "average" of less than 20 lbs per year).

I think that one of the reasons many people have success here (eventually) when they haven't been able to before, is that there are so many of us. There are so many different models for success, that if you stick around, and continue to be willing to try, there's a good chance that you'll read about plans or strategies or attitude changes that fit your personal needs.

There's really something here for everyone.

It's no secret that support is very important. A lot of the commercial plans now have telephone or online support too.
The problem I see in this is that when you need support on Slimmin' Jims plan, you'll get Slimmin' Jims opinion. I'm a diehard supporter of counting calories but I've learned sooo much from the whole foods people, the exercisers, the weightlifters ... here at 3FC. Good advice for tweaking is here everywhere.
And you don't have to find a whole new group just to try something else.
I have a nebulous notion about anonymity ... in real life there are folks who are happy that I've regained ... makes me more like them ... they were right all along ... see there's no use even trying ...
I, quite frankly, use 3FC as my conscience. If I come here to read at least twice a day, I will never forget what my goal is. I will never forget that there are folks out there who are trying, just like me. I will never forget that it can be done. I will never forget that it's hard.
But I suppose those are all reason why someone might never come back too.

There's also some interesting notions about why successful losers do not acknowledge that they've ever been fat. Thereby robbing the real world of that aspect of weight loss. If someone else doesn't come along and expand on that idea, I will after work.

My honest opinion is of course you're going to have more success stories and other such stories (as I agree that success doesn't just mean getting the weight off etc) because this is a support web site. Like any support grouping you're going to find more success stories, real stories, real stories of struggles and hardships.

However, realistically, if you look at the percentages outside of this support grouping you may not find higher numbers of "success." That is a fact to me. That is why people struggle with weight loss and other health related issues. That is why I think support groups, I think if they are right for that individual, are important. But a lot of people out there are finding support in other ways or not at all. It depends, and it depends on your location, what type of person you are, etc.

I was lurking a long time, very long, before I became an active member here and you see a lot of people come and go, come back, etc. Some people will use the support while they need it and move on, others will stay around and help no matter what their success is. Men and women come here for their reasons and the thing is I know of two other support groups like this online (and no doubt there are a lot more) that have a rather large following for a few reasons that apply here too, one of them being that it is the internet and there is little to no restrictions of location. I remember years and years ago going to Weight Watchers meetings because there wasn't any other support groups like that in my area. There wasn't the internet, and I believe there were a total of like 20-25 people in that group lol. Success rate, like 2 people lol not even the person who was doing the meeting was "successful" at keeping the weight off. I remember that clearly and Weight Watchers was a bit different then than it is now lol.

A lot of people use plans that they do pay for and you have to consider that say if someone is using Weight Watchers, would they be more likely to go to meetings and/or use the official website support system online? I don't know, maybe.

I think support groups are important, if that is what a person needs. I also view things realistically and to me it really doesn't matter (it used to in the beginning of my journey more) about who is successful and who isn't, what the percentages are, etc etc. Success stories do make me get pumped up, but at the end of the day I'm gonna get this weight off no matter if I have to get there kicking and screaming. No matter how many struggles i have. I just look at things in my own way and I LOVE it here. I remember the day I posted my little intro post, and slowly became more and more active, but I'm certainly not as active as other people. I love the people here because they are real to me. Different people, different attitudes, different opinions...some are more passionate than others, but in the end I really feel that people here are just wanting to help and share. That is what makes this site successful for me personally. I like to help and I like to share. I also do like hearing about success, but you know just being able to talk about issues that other people get is very important to me. I can whine, I can complain, I can joke, I can share and help and I can do that 24/7, no restrictions because of my location. That is why this site is successful for me, but maybe that is just me.

I know that if and when, haha positive thinking, I get down to my goal weight I am not going to leave the website. I love to help so I'm in that grouping of people that won't go just because they are at a certain weight.

Carrot dance

I love this thread!

It's hard to know if we really are more successful here than the population as a whole... as others have pointed out, lots of people leave when they "fall off the wagon" so we might tend to see more success stories sticking around.

But that being said, I think Amanda's post is right on -- we have a culture of realism and a focus on life-long changes and maintenance that really helps.

I like to believe that if the stats are that only 5% of people maintain a weight loss in the population, that part of that is because people aren't realistic about maintenance. Therefore, if we can educate others about the reality of maintenance, we can greatly improve those stats. I have no evidence for it, but this I believe!

I agree and the thing that works for me is real people. I mean you see people on the TV in those horrible "lose weight" ads and they look air brushed/perfect. But I'm not looking to be perfect. I really just want to be healthy and there is a difference between "hey you can look like me if you lose weight" and "learn how to live and cope with a healthy lifestyle."

Haha besides you don't see advertisements out there talking about all the shapewear, stretch marks, excess skinage, and the facts of living rather than dieting to look a certain way. They don't even talk about maintaining..it is all about weight loss, not being healthy in my opinion. Maybe that I am being jaded when I say that, but I just don't listen to those people. I listen to people at 3FC and learn and grow and work toward my goals. I don't know how to fully live my life in a healthy way, so hearing from real people who are sharing their time and issues and thoughts with me, helps me get prepared for this lifestyle change. I do feel like I'm moving away from the dieter frame of mind and I can say that I wouldn't feel that way if it were not for 3FC!

Doesn't this depend on how you define "success" tho? I mean, there are a HUGE number of people who have signed on, but no tracking method with respect to how many have actually reached goal nor actually maintained that loss. We read the success stories, we see the maintainers, but we really don't know how many log on, how many lose to goal, and how many are able to maintain this loss.

IF you define success as any amount of weight lost over an indefinite period of time, then we all are "successful". If you define success as a consistent sustained weight loss of on average 1-2 lbs a week to reach a BMI of less than 30, then the numbers shrink. If you define success as the maintenance of a certain amount of weight in the long term (like the National Weight Control Registry does -- a minimum of 30 pound weight loss for a year), then the numbers shrink further. And even the previous definition is "debatable" -- if I lose say 60 lbs, and regain 20 lbs the next year and 10 lbs the year after, am I still "maintaining"? And if I start at 400 lbs and lose 30 lbs and maintain that loss, it sure is something, but is it really a definition of weight loss success -- my primary issue of morbid obesity hasn't been addressed in a meaningful way. On the other hand, isn't any loss a good loss in the end?

I think that sites like these are important to provide support, and support is important as a tool in this battle. But I fear that at the end of the day, just as in "real life", there will be amazing success stories but the vast majority will log on, lose a bit, regain it, and move on...


JMHO

Kira

I agree with the above posters on why 3FC is so successful, and also want to make a statement about reporting on obesity -- I think that things tend to get reported in such a way as to minimize the success of people who are at a healthy weight, or who have been able to maintain their weight loss for periods of time. Let's say that the american population as a whole is around 300 million (it's actually more than that). Of those, half are overweight or obese (150 million). Of those, perhaps half are actively trying to lose weight (75 million). If only 5% of those keep it off for over 10 years, that's still 3.75 MILLION people who are successful, not including those who are able to keep their weight off for lesser periods of time, or who only gain back a small portion of their weight (how do they define success? Do they define it as staying within normal range for height/weight/age, or do they define it as never going above the "goal weight" that the person achieved?).

I think in some ways it's a self-fulfilling prophecy -- we keep hearing about how impossible it is to lose and maintain a normal weight, and so it becomes impossible. 3FC shows us by example that not only is it possible, but that real people are doing it every day, and if "they" can do it, so can we. It may not be easy, but it's not impossible.