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Do you cheat?
On June 1st I gave up sugar and refined carbs. It is my own program, a little atkins, a little south beach and a little sugar busters...it is working really well for me. When I was on WW I would use my points on empty calories (lots of 100 calorie packs and too much junk) and the weigh in frustrated me so I decided to do my own thing and for the most part it is working really well. I don't weigh myself, so I gauge my loss with non scale victories. And I feel better, which I think is the most important part of this adventure!
So...my question is this....do you cheat? I have a day, the 1st of each month, that I allow myself to eat anything I want. I will make those chocolate chip cookies that I crave and eat them hot from the oven. I will go out to the local pancake house and have a huge carb loaded breakfast (the one thing I truly miss). I will have lots of calories and I usually feel crappy afterwards but the emotional demon is kept at bay knowing that the 1st is coming and I can keep away from the sugar and carbs until then. My friend thinks that this is pure sabatoge and I am doing nothing but harm. She actually called me weak and told me if I was a strong woman I wouldn't need the "cheat" day. She wasn't being nasty, she was trying to help, but it got me thinking. Does anyone do their programs without straying from their "program paths"? And should my mindset be that I eat healthy now and to cheat is only cheating myself? Jane |
You may find that, after a while, it inhibits your weight loss to have a major cheat day. But if it doesn't now, that's good.
Or, perhaps, all these months without carbs and sugars, you may find that you crave sugar and carbs less, and then after gorging on the first, you won't feel very good the next day, since you're not used to that food. I think really eliminating things from your diet is very hard. I have to have little increments of carbs and sugar to keep from having cravings. I think that being a "strong woman" and totally swearing off carbs and sugar is not possible. |
I don't call it a cheat day, but instead a "free" meal. Right now I'm trying to make my free meal not so crazy that I regret it. Last night my sweetie and I went and split some grilled hot wings and I had two light beers. It was higher than I would normally eat, but not so bad as to affect my weight loss. I think you do what works for you.
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So since you started your new plan you have had 2 cheat days right? 2 and only 2? How do you feel the day after? Do the cravings come back full force? Is it hard to get back into the swing of things? If you can do it, and easily get right back into it, then I don't see a problem. But if you do it and agonize for a week after with the sugar/carb demon, then I agree with your friend and you are just torturing yourself. Have you lost any weight?
Oh...and NO I did not "cheat" for MANY months. I didn't have anything off plan until I got down below 199. I now have a treat now and then, but it certainly is not a free for all. Honestly, I'm afraid to do that to my mind and body. |
I don't have a cheat day or meal. Very very rarely I have a handful of chips or fries but I always make sure to just have a single serving available when I do so that I don't go overboard because I can and have very quickly.
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If that works for you then by all means do it! Everyone does things a little differently, it's the results that matter. People tend to really fall off the wagon when they are laden with guilt. By your method you are hitting two blocks with one stone (tackling your cravings and avoiding guilt) and coming out successful - that's huge!! And terrific :)
I'm kinda doing the same thing as you... following Atkins but also cut out most of my sugars. I find that when I do cheat I feel really awful. My stomach gets upset, I have gas issues and I get headaches. Cheats are becoming more annoying than fun. I like your idea of waiting for once a month. I think I might pick a time around AF since I'm craving then anyhow and already feel kinda crappy ;) |
I think it's much safer to have a planned "cheat" day, than to try to abstain completely from all your favorite foods and then the cravings get so bad you give in and binge on them in an out of control fashion. Better yet, you can budget a few "cheat" meals into your weekly calorie intake, then the "forbidden" foods will lose their allure because you're eating them on a regular basis.
If my experience might be helpful, this go-round of trying to modify my eating habits permanently has been the most successful because it's been the least restrictive. If I feel like having a "bad" food, I go ahead and do it, and just budget it into the weekly caloric budget, or do some extra cardio to work it off. I think the more you tell yourself "you can't do that", the more you think about doing it. So tell your friend thank you for the advice and if her way works for her that's great, but if planned cheat days work for you, then why change that? |
I don't do a planned cheat day. What I do instead is every 12 weeks (roughly) eat maintenance calories for a week. That's usually about 750-1000 cals a day less than I usually do. If there's something I've been craving, but feel is too high in calories I convince myself that I'll have it then. The reality is that I usually buy a package of bacon, add a protein shake, and an occasional small treat. It usually keeps me sane the rest of the time and, in theory, resets my hormone levels. I feel rested and ready to get back at it afterwards. Usually I'll go up a pound or so, but it comes off immediately. If I go on a major carbfest it adds more pounds, but usually comes off in a few days... or a week. :)
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Originally Posted by SunnyP: |
Originally Posted by Lori Bell: |
Well, I don't think Lori was being superior, she was just sharing a different approach. I'm a little biased, because it is also my approach. I think it's okay when someone says something like "you must plan to cheat to be successful" to respond "I never cheated and I was successful."
My experience was very like Lori's - the whole time I was losing weight, I had two treat meals - my birthday and Christmas, otherwise, I stayed on plan the entire time. I was amazed, absolutely amazed, that the binges, aimless munching and random eating that had plagued me my entire life completely went away. I don't view myself as perfect at all - having an iron clad, black/white rule made things easier for me. There was no thinking "can I eat that, does it fit in my plan, can I move some calories around" or any of the brain power I now expend as a maintainer figuring out treats. It was just YES NO - simple. I definitely think that both approaches can work (since I've read success stories from people who have done both) and each person should make a plan that works for them! |
Originally Posted by RealCdn: Once a week I go out and eat whatever I like without worrying about the calories, be it a hamburger and fries, a rich dessert, or what have you. Since it's planned I don't feel guilty and it doesn't wreck me emotionally. Food shouldn't have to... It has also taught me to control myself with "cheat" foods so that I don't have to avoid them for the rest of my life due to binge potential. It works. |
Thank you Glory87. That is what I meant. I didn't mean to come across as "perfect", and I'm sorry if I sounded rude. I meant that a person is NOT more likely to binge if they abstain from eating their favorite junk foods. I have found the opposite is true...*for me*. I think of junk food as a drug, (for me), just like alcohol was (for me). I don't need junk food to live, just like I don't need a shot of vodka to live, and by not eating/drinking them makes the craving less, not worse.
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I find that if I'm craving something or want to binge on something, I'll always tell myself that I can eat it a few days if I stay on plan until then. Odds are, by the time that day gets here, I'm over that crazy craving feeling, and I don't want to ruin my week by going so far over my calories. It helps to think that the food will always be there, so I don't have to eat it right now.
Also, there are days where I won't count calories. These are times that are more difficult to count calories, like when I have an out of town visitor and we're out for a lot for meals. Although I don't count, I still order what I see to be the healthiest option. Last time, I ordered this shrimp with pasta dish instead of some type of heavy cream pasta dish (which is what I would have ordered before!). And MissBliss, regardless, your friend was being nasty when she said you weren't a strong women. That's a below-the-belt comment and totally unnecessary. Don't let it bring you down. She can't possibly know what works for you, and if this is what works, that's none of her buisness! |
Originally Posted by Lori Bell: |
Once a week I have a planned treat (notice I did not say cheat). It helps me all week stay on plan knowing that Saturday is coming.
Different strokes for different folks! ;) |
Originally Posted by : |
I think if having a day of eating what ever works for you, that's totally fine. What always upsets me, it's a purely personal thing, no offence intended, is calling it a cheat. If it's a regular thing, it's not a cheat it's part of your Programme.
We don't have to cheat ourselves, that sounds weak and negative. Staying on programme, like you are doing, sounds much better! |
I cheat by drinking beer.
but I will also go o the gym and work a lil extra hard to make up for it. i have broken the diet while I was out of town with my "friend" but I made sure to hit the gym hard the next day. Even if I do eat something not on my diet, I try to only eat half of it. |
I have to pipe in here with my two cents. I have stopped coming to 3FC (except for a weigh in post I contribute to) because truly, I was getting tired of reading all the "you must never ever under any circumstance waiver off plan. EVER." kind of posts. I came back today to check things out again and lo and behold, here's this post.
FOR ME (and just me), eating what I want, in moderation, is working. I am counting calories and exercising 5 days a week. On the weekends I do not exercise, nor do I write down everything I eat. I am MINDFUL of what I am eating but I do not track every little thing like I do M-F. I have lost almost 40 pounds in about 5 months. Slow going, to be sure - but bottom line is I'm losing. I like all kinds of foods - veggies, fruit, meat, pasta, and yes, sweets. I like to eat, it is enjoyable to me so I am going to continue to eat the things I like and work them into my plan accordingly. I've read and heard so much about making this a lifestyle change in order to be successful. I completely agree but I do not look forward to another 30 or 40+ years without an occasional cupcake! So my lifestyle change includes cupcakes - just not 4 or more at a sitting! In the past, as soon as I've said something was off limits, I became obsessed with it and had to have it. It was agony. I don't do that anymore and so far it's working for me. Might that change? Who knows, but I will face it if/when it happens. I think what gets forgotten in quite a few of these posts is that nothing works the same way for everyone but we get judgmental when someone does something differently than we do it. To go back to your original question, Jane - and I think a couple of people gave good suggestions/advice - go with how YOU feel about your "cheat days". Do they help you? Do they make you feel like you can get through the rest of the month? Do you look forward to and enjoy those treats? If so, I'd say it's working for you and you should keep on with it. If it causes you to feel bad at any point, then maybe it would be time to reconsider and change strategies. |
Originally Posted by Mainah: |
OK, here is the thing, IMO.
The problem is the word "cheat." Why are you "cheating"? Who are you "cheating"? Why are you thinking of it that way, as though there is "the diet" or "the food program," and then there is everything else, which by definition is "cheating"? I never, ever "cheat" because that's not how I look at things. What I do is PLAN. I am a calorie counter. No food is off limits. The only rule is, if I want to eat it, I have to count it. This is called "accountability"! :lol: So during my weight loss, I did eat ice cream, I did have dinners out, I did sometimes have some cake or a couple of cookies, and so on. These were NOT cheating, they were planned for. Some foods I do not eat often because of the "trigger" aspect. Some foods I couldn't have around at first, but I can have them in measured amounts now. The other thing worth considering is whether you are using food as a reward. That sets up an expectation that if you have been "really good," then you "get to eat the bad foods." What is that about? How does that help? What happens when you've lost the weight? Do you go back to the "bad foods" all the time? Just some thoughts. Everyone has to find out what works and what gets the pounds off. And then, everyone has to figure out how not to regain it, and that is a bigger challenge for some. Jay |
No, I do understand that she wasn't meaning it in any way. I should clarify - I'm perfectly capable of gaining weight eating what most would consider perfectly clean foods. I can gain weight primarily eating lean meats, veggies, fruit, whole grain products, etc. After all these years I've decided I have screwed up hunger signals. Even when eating maintenance levels, I'm still hungry. Even when gaining weight, I'm still hungry. So, unlike the comment about not needing junk food to live (I agree), I still need food to live. I can choose to limit how much I eat, but I still need to eat.
When I'm losing weight I choose what I eat, as it fits into my plan. The reality is I eat well (probably more calories than most would think), but there's always that possibility that I won't control my intake. I am glad that some people get to the point where they don't desire to overeat, but it's just not that simple for everyone else. Oh, and I do agree with the poster who mentioned not liking the concept of 'cheat'. I admit I don't either. If I want ice cream (as I did on Monday when we were out of town) I choose to have it. I just make it modest, and cut back somewhere else. I'd honestly not have to cut 1200 cals out of my day's calories to have that pint of ice cream that I might have eaten in the past. On the bright side I make a fantastic fruit/yogurt/jam sorbet that people compliment me on (not maybe realizing that it's under 140 cals for a modest serving). :) |
Originally Posted by Mainah: My controversial post was in reference to a post that said that people will binge if they forbid themselves of their favorite foods. My reply was no, I didn't. Period. |
Originally Posted by : Like LoriBell and Glory, saying no was not agony. It was freeing. So no, "cheating" was out of the question for me. My life was on the line. I didn't want to leave my children motherless and "this time", I wasn't taking any chances. In previous (lame) attempts, leaving the door open for "those foods" was a recipe for disaster. Been there, done that. Being the addict that I am, it didn't work - for ME. And hey, I'm the only one that counts here. Making certain foods off limits during the losing portion of my journey was the most freeing, liberating thing I could have done. When devising my plan, I knew right off the bat that the only way I could succeed was to eliminate the foods I overate the most. The ones that made me want to shovel them down my throat. Once I made them definite NO's, well there was no more thinking about it. Ahhhh. Freeing. Freed me up all the way to goal in fact. It's not for everyone. But it was for me and lots of others. Others who have taken that method all the way to their target weight and kept it there. So although it's not the ONLY method, it most certainly is a PROVEN method. I'm not sure why that approach is always slammed around here. And the funny thing is, you never hear one of them, myself included say things like - "it was awful, it was agony, it was deprivation, it was too restrictive, my cravings were insane, it was so hard". Each and everyone says it was the best thing they've ever done. Hands down. No questions about it. Yet it gets slammed, continuously. Whatever. :dunno: To the OP. Find what works for YOU. Experiment. Record or log, so that you know how you felt afterward. If it set you back or not. The good thing is, we can always change things up and keep on working the plan to work for us. :smug: |
i agree. i'm trying to do the whole thinking like a thin person thing when it comes to cheating. most thin people if they want something - they will eat it but they just won't stuff themselves/overeat. i won't restrict myself, i'll eat something if i want it but just less of it and i'm conscious to make sure that i'm not eating it for emotional reasons. that has worked for me so far.
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RR, you did it again. Bravo, I say, bravo! *claps* :hug::hug:
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I don't cheat. I use to think that if I didn't have a 'cheat' day or add somethings once it awhile I would in turn be making myself want them more but I've found that when I was doing that all it did was make me crave them more.
I look at it like any addiction, once you give it up everyday gets easier and if you slip up or cheat it's like starting all over again, cravings come back, etc. (at least that's how it is for me). |
We do seem to discuss this topic frequently around here, and it does seem to ruffle feathers!
While I don't think anyone is saying their way is the ONLY way, sometimes when we talk about things that are so central to OUR success and so important to us, we might perhaps come across that way, unintentionally. Perhaps it's best for all of us -- posters and readers -- to remember that our form of communication here on the internet loses a lot of the nuance of face to face communication. Perhaps our mantra should be: "Try not to ruffle feathers, nor to be ruffled in return." :) |
Originally Posted by rockinrobin: Originally Posted by rockinrobin: |
Hey, at least I haven't seen anyone slam lo-carb in a while :D
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To the OP - I hate calling something a cheat, if a conscious, accountable, moderate choice was made in the consumption - so how do YOU feel about your eating? Do you feel sick, guilty, or weak? Or do you enjoy the occasional free meal? It's up to you, no one method is wrong if it works for you and doesn't jeopardize your health.
My approach is very mild, so cheating is nearly impossible. I just added in calorie counting as an additonal tool, but basically I track hunger and satiety signals, journal my food, eat mostly fruits and veggies for lunch and dinner and beyond that, have satisfying quantities of foods I want to eat. It's meant to be a slow, steady approach to loss and works well for me - I eat mostly healthy each meal, and have limited, normal quantities of the things I like more after having filled up on the good stuff. I do eat cheese and yogurt, and most evenings have enough calories left for a few tablespoons of semisweet chocolate chips for dessert. It isn't cheating - I enjoy them and plan them into my food, measuring out a serving and leaving it at that. As some ladies have mentioned, I have had to cut some foods out completely, as they triggered me to repeated, uncontrollable binges (sugary cereals are a big one) and I simply couldn't have them in the house and stay on my plan. Those foods, I'm better off not having even in moderation. But the occasional dessert or restaurant meal is perfectly within my plan. It's not my core eating, but not a cheat, either. This works for me, as there will never be a change to my eating - no maintenance mode, it is safe even during my pregnancies, gives me optimal health and still a general enjoyment of my food But as with ALL things on these boards, your mileage may vary. Do what works for you and makes you physically healthy and emotionally content. Don't be afraid to tweak and experiment. And try not to frame your loss or food choices in a negative way - as that sort of thinking can subconsciously sabotage you. Good luck! |
Lori Bell, I think Mainah meant "thread" not "post."
Jay |
Originally Posted by MissBliss: To me your question sort of begs the question do you think you want/need a day of reckless abandon or are you trying to concentrate all the indulgences on one day so you don't have to have the debate the other days of the month or some other reasoning I am missing? FWIW, I would also ditch the word 'cheat'. I like the word indulgence...it keeps me in the mind set that it is special and something that shouldn't be unlimited in scope without all the negative vibes that comes from the word cheat. Peg |
Originally Posted by p7eggyc: As far as tough love. This IS the internet. I don't believe a long standing relationship will ever come about here. When people pose a question, they must expect that they will get answered and not always in a way that they expected. I do believe tough love is a gift to give to someone. I only wish someone would have been brutally honest with me. I wish someone, anyone, would have told me, "quit making excuses" "the program works if you work the program" "that this is within my control, circumstances mean nothing." And on and on. How I wish someone would have told me. Not 100% sure if I would have heeded the advice, but damn, I wish someone would have taken that road with me, ESPECIALLY if I came to a weight loss support site (which I didn't till this last time). If I come, I'm not looking for coddling. I'm looking for answers and solutions and help. But since we are all different, I guess different people are looking for different things. And sometimes they'll get what they're looking for - and sometimes they won't. Sometimes they'll get something even better then they ever could have hoped for. |
I've read some programs that encourage a 'cheat' day or a 'cheat' meal and I figure if it works for you then go for it. I would hate to call it a cheat though. Basically it is designed so that you eat restrictive during the week and then plan on a higher calorie/day meal and not one where you go crazy.
For me, I've had success with allowing a higher calorie meal during the week but planning for it. Conversely, I've had periods of time where I was eating absolutely perfect and did not lose a thing. Weight loss can be a bit of trial and error and so can weight loss maintenance. I've gladly given up a lot of foods and I don't feel deprived but I can still eat way too much of whatever healthy foods I do eat. |
Originally Posted by Ija: |
Nope, I never cheat.
;) See, if I say I am not allowed something, I will want it 7032470937409 times more. I believe this rebellious tendency goes back to my childhood. I've always hated following rules, so why would I place any on myself? I am allowed anything I want, as long as it is part of my calorie count for the day. Ice cream? Cookies? Crackers? Sure, if I really want it... Here's what keeps me eating clean most of the time: Clean, nutrient-rich food makes me feel SO much better than processed junk. I hate feeling sluggish. A balanced, healthy lifestyle keeps me from frequently getting sick. Besides the health benefits, I can eat more FOOD if I am not indulging in so-called treats... and I LOVE to EAT. A Blizzard from Dairy Queen has around 600 calories in a small -- that's two small meals for me. I'd rather eat those meals, dangit! :hungry: Now, if I DO eat more calories than I burned on a given day, I don't beat myself up over it, I don't decide to furiously work out for hours to burn off the excess, nor do I try to make up for it the next day. I have done all that in the past, but it only leads to feelings of despair and failure. We all are cursed with a common condition called being human. We're beings, not machines, and no one is perfect. There ARE a few foods I just can't have in my house because I KNOW I will eat them until they are gone, so I just don't buy them. If I want them, I will get a single-sized portion (small box/bag/whatever) and be done. |
Originally Posted by : I've came to understand over the last month that I was allowing myself to be led by my addiction to food, and not by what I know to be true...for me. As I said in my other post, I went out last night and had wings and beer. I don't plan on depriving myself, but I do plan on counting the calories. I ate just over 2000 calories last night compared to my normal 1500. It was OK, I was down this morning and did an increase at the gym this morning. It's all in the planning and holding myself accountable for my actions that matters. As for the topic going on here about those that practice "tough love" and who did their plan without the "cheating" I applaud you all :cp: It your mentality that I'm striving so hard to achieve for myself. Last night at TOPS our leader went on and on about having to lose weight and exercise using moderation. This is a lovely woman who has a huge amount of weight to lose and who has been a member of TOPS for 16 years. She doesn't need moderation, she needs commitment. |
Ok. Here is MY point of view and what works for ME.
I do have a cheat day (crappy food day, delicious food day, indulge day or whatever day, who cares how it is called). Currently it is every Saturday. It is working beautifully for me. That was the only way I found to keep me sane and make me to stick to my own program. If I tell myself I won’t be able to have ice cream or whatever, I’ll go crazy and all I’ll think about will be the damn ice cream. So, whenever I crave something during the week, I am able to turn my head away because I tell myself: you don’t need it right now, I can have it on Saturday (and sometimes it not even happens, but just to think I can have it if I want give me peace). Will I always eat this way??? I don’t know... I am now close to my goal and once I get there I’ll have to rethink about my plan, because I won’t need to lose anymore, but maintain. For me that was the best way I found to reach my goal. I wish I could do like some people here had said. They just cut all the junk food for good and just don’t worry about it anymore. Good for them! I am proud of them, but that would drive me insane and I think would make me go back to my bad old days of eating everything. It took me a lot of reading and learning to find out the right way of eating to lose weight for ME. At the end of the day, I’ll be the one who will step on the scale and will have to deal with the # I get there. So my point is: To "cheat" has been working for me and that is the way it will be until I reach my goal. If it (moderation, cheat days, cut/junk, low carb, whatever plan you have...) works for you and is bringing you to the results you want just keep doing it. Why change?? it works! Stick to it and good luck in your journey. |
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