I know I won't be perfect on this journey. I've done pretty well working out daily. I haven't missed a walk since I started, I've been pretty good at watching my calorie intake (I haven't restocked the food since I've started so I can't say I've been eating healthy... just trying to eat less of the less than healthy food we currently have, like Hamburger Helper/Tuna Helper).
It's been only 4 days, and this evening we took the kids to Dairy Queen... and I slipped.
Hubby's been bugging me about getting ice cream (like going out and buying one of those huge gallon tubes and bringing it home for him to have).
Now here's how we ended up at DQ in the first place...
My son finally seems to be getting the FULL idea of using the bathroom (he's 4, he's been fully toliet trained twice but due to the arrival of baby sister and a cross country move we've been pulling our hair out trying to get him to use the toliet to poop in anymore, TMI, I know). So since he did such a good job and was a Big Boy he got to watch a show this morning (generally a restricted activity) and we decided we'd do something special and take him out for ice cream (not okay to reward kids with food, but its a 30 minute drive to get him the ice cream and he loves riding in the car and pointing everything out he sees so it was an extra special reward for him), plus, it got hubby of my back. I figured if we got GET ice cream I won't have any around the house calling to me from the freezer.
Before we even get there I decided... I'll get a cone. No syrups, no candies, just a plain cone. And I did.... a large, and OMG. I have never seen an ice cream that size!! I have to admit, initially, i thought I found the door to heaven. Split second later realized "uh-oh." Hubby offered to "take care" of some of it for me... but no. I ate the WHOLE damn thing.
Now, like I said, I know I won't be PERFECT on my diet. I've already told myself, I can eat what I'd like but portion and moderation above all else. This was definitly not either of those two requirements. What irratates me was I'm only 4 days into this journey and I can't believe I've already slipped up!
I don't feel like I'm going to cascade down the "Well, I already screwed up so lets eat everything," "or why bother?" But it concerns me! I need to get better self control, and I've never been good at self control! How does someone get better self control? I mean its an enigma. You can't discipline yourself but you have to learn the discipline anywho! I guess I just feel all defuddled up over it. More cause I keep wondering how much longer is this going to take me cause I can't just seem to say, NO!

Here's a hug for you. It happens, and it won't be the last time either. This road is full of many bumps. Tomorrow is a new day, just dust yourself off and try again

Starting off is the hardest. That's when you have to have the greatest willpower because dedicated commitment hasn't quite kicked in yet and your body is still having cravings. So it's very understandable, but you do have to make the decision to say no to those temptations. It is a choice. A hard one, but a choice nonetheless! Good job not throwing in the towel!

Good job at not going down the path "well I already cheated so I am going to raid the 7-11" - that's what I am struggling with.

For me - unfortunately - I am going cold turkey. This doesn't mean that I am never going to slip up but until I learn a better sense of self control and one taste doesn't mean tasting the whole bag - I am choosing to not eat any of it. I had the worst food hangover ever and it turned me off a lot of things.

Good luck, and don't give up!

Best thing you can do is leave any guilt in the past, call it a one-off and move forward. I find guilt etc very conducive to more slips . . . you are doing great, just keep going, one day at a time

Yeah, probably not one of the better ways to spend 470 calories and 14 grams of fat (9 of those saturated). Just keep going.

Good for you to be thinking about your options before arrival. WTG! Next time you can always ask for a small cone with a spoon. If they hand it to you too large, scoop some off and toss it out.

Good for you to stick to your guns on the NO TUB OF ICE CREAM in the house! It sounds like you are setting yourself up for success. I try to keep nothing in my house binge worthy. My poor kids don't have cereal very often because of it. I simply cannot have it in here.

I think that there are many cultural myths and stereotypes surrounding dieting and weightloss that we internalize, and believe to be true, without even realizing. And I think the worst of all, is the assumption that the ability to be perfect from the start, is an indicator or predictor of ultimate success.

It's backwards really, what other skill would we expect perfection during the learning and practicing stages. I think sometimes we look at weight loss as a skill we should be able to be perfect at, because we "know what to do," so we don't treat it like other skills.

Let's take bowling as an example, I know "what to do," but that doesn't mean I'm going to be a good bowler without a lot of practice, and I don't expect change to come easily.

It's a social stereotype that "perfect from the start," is the way dieting is done, and not doing so is a "sign" that the person isn't "really" committed.

I think that's hogwash. I don't think it's a coincidence that I've have the most long-lasting (slowest, but most long lasting) weight loss since I started looking at weight loss as a set of skills that I would gain mastery over by slow but steady progress, and stopped looking at every slip as proof and premonition of failure.

I have to respectfully disagree with Kaplods post. While slow and steady often wins the race, statistic show that people with addictions do much better giving up their drug of choice "cold turkey". I've seen alcoholics try to "drink socially" for years before they come to terms with the fact that they just need to STOP drinking, or face sure death. Same with smokers and the same with a druggie or 2. Morbid obesity is a killer, and it can kill quickly and silently, just as an OD on heroin can. Sure a person can decide to lose weight slowly and give themselves room to "eat socially" while taking years to lose weight, but in that time dozens of weight related diseases can develop and kill. Just because a morbidly obese person is "practicing" weight loss and losing 1 pound a month, (as an example) does not mean they are immune to diabetes and heart disease. With a morbidly obese person there is an urgency to lose weight in order to live.

To the OP, you have 2 small children to think about. It is very hard to be a morbidly obese person, I can't imagine how hard it is to have 2 young children that you can't fully be the best you can be because your weight is getting in the way. If you want to be around to see them graduate from HS I would seriously consider giving up your trigger foods cold turkey, and take control over your sugar addiction. Good job not bringing home a tub of Ice Cream...you are heading in the right direction.

As others have said it is hardest in the beginning, so the good news is that it WILL get easier....you just have to do the best you can! My approach in a situation like this is to say to myself "Okay, I admit I went over my calories today, so tomorrow I will eat light (mostly fruits/vegetables, low sugar, low carb) and make an extra effort at the gym." If you "make up" for a mistake, at the end of the week it won't make a difference, because the total calories for the week will be about the same. At least that's how I think about it!

In the same way, if I know that I will be going out for a meal, or to a party/barbecue/whatever, I keep my calories in check and my heart rate high at the gym the day before, and of, the event. This doesn't give me the excuse to eat a huge quantity of the food available, but it allows me to enjoy it without stuffing myself and going over my calories.

Hope that helps a little! Don't be too hard on yourself, just remember to take things one step at a time...

Hmmm, just reading kaplods and Lori Bell's posts. I can see both points of view. So I'll just share my personal experience.

I made many many slips and false starts before I finally got going strong. So in a way, slips can be practice. If you were learning to roller blade and you hit a tree would you throw the skates in the trash bin? No, you would keep trying. And your skills and knowledge would improve as you practiced. You will get better at this because you are going to keep practicing!

Finally I personally had to give up sugar. But if you would've told me that four days in, I wouldn't have been willing or able to hear that. I couldn't have even heard it at four months in. In fact, my resistance to the idea should have been a clue how much of a problem I had with sugar.

So I say, do what you can do. Make the changes you are willing to maintain permanently. If you feel you have a real problem with sugar, then make the changes regarding sugar that you are willing to make. It sounds like you are working on portion control and exercise, and those are great places to start! Great job on the exercise and on not throwing in the towel when you slipped!

Most of us make less-than-stellar choices from time to time -- that is not the measure of our commitment or our success. What matters is that we do NOT stop doing our best to make good choices going forward, every single day.

The beginning is VERY, VERY tough. You have no positive habits to hang on to yet and you're battling your physical and mental withdrawal from a bad pattern of eating. We all KNOW how hard it is. Do not discount your positive efforts, every step in the right direction counts and you want to KEEP making those steps forward. It will get easier, but you have to keep fighting the good fight. You CAN do it!

Very true, but how many times would you need to hit the SAME tree before you avoid that tree, or cut it down? I'm not saying get rid of the skates, I'm saying get rid of the tree! The point in giving up trigger foods is to cut down the tree, (so to speak). SUre there will be more trees down the road to avoid, but once you hit it, it's time to get rid of it. I have sugar issues, and I have found that it is more powerful than alcohol or cigarettes. It sucks I can't have it it moderation, but it also sucks that I can't stop at one glass of wine....or one cigarette.

Good that you don't see this as a complete failure and reason to stop trying.
But, if your DH wants ice cream so much, why doesn't he get some when he is out of the house? He surely must know that you are dieting.
The next time, perhaps it would be better to avoid going to Dairy Queen altogether (I mean you, not the rest of the family). Personally, I could sit at Dairy Queen all day long without a single lick of an ice cream (because I find their ice cream totally eeew) but I would find it practically impossible to go to McDeath and watch everybody else having french fries without being able to have some myself.
So it is often best to remove yourself (physically) from the temptation. If ice cream is your pitfall (which I would undertand, that is why I NEVER buy the big containers of ice cream because I can't have just a serving) maybe spring for the Del Monte frozen fruit bars or Skinny Cow ice cream bars .... there are probably other options as well which would all be better than the arterie-clogging stuff that DQ sells.

I love Skinny Cow too. I sure wish though they sold them each rather than an entire box. An entire box I have a problem with so they rarely make it into my home anymore.

Okay, so you had your slip. Now, you know how to better prepare yourself for the next time a temptation appears.

As for the debate overhead, most of my thoughts regarding this fall in line with Lori Bell's. CUT DOWN THAT FRIGGIN' TREE ALREADY!!!!

Sorry Kaplods! I still heart you though.