Thank you all!!

I know as the OP I was the one needing the guidence but I actually see Kaplods and Lori's comments as complementary to one another. If I take the advice from Lori- cut out the sugar, go cold turkey, it WILL undoubtedly help. Besides which dear hubby was diagnosed with diabetes so most the sugar in the house is gone anyways. All that remains currently is the childrens Cinnamon Toast Crunch and my son's popsicles. I don't like the cereal and baby girl and I split a popsicle if I get into them at all. And once those items are gone they're not getting replaced. We're also switching over to spelnda.

But there is more to weightloss then just cutting out the sugar. My main problem is not just a sweet tooth, its portion control, I was eatting portions at least 3 X's bigger than the serving sizes at meals. I could cut out all the sugar but if I'm still downing meals at 1000 cals or more and fat grams toppling 30, its not going to improve my health enough to keep me alive to see the kids graduate. Which is where Kaplods advice comes in. If I begin learning, practicing and improving on healthier skills (like portion control, healthy eatting, exercise) I will and those skills may take time to master (it is confusing sometimes, there's bad fat, carbs, sugars, etc vs all the good kinds, how to balance a meals carb vs. protien intake, etc) So thank you both.

You've given me a ton to think about and I appreciate and value all of your inputs.

TaraLee, moderation is something I have had to learn as well. Also, I have found replacements for high-calorie, fat-laden foods. I am still eating mass quantities on occasion but still staying within "normal" limits for calorie intake. The whole foods forum may be a good thing for you to check out.

Originally Posted by TaraLee:
Thank you all!!

I know as the OP I was the one needing the guidence but I actually see Kaplods and Lori's comments as complementary to one another. If I take the advice from Lori- cut out the sugar, go cold turkey, it WILL undoubtedly help. Besides which dear hubby was diagnosed with diabetes so most the sugar in the house is gone anyways.

If you are able to give up the sugar cold turkey I think you will find it immensely helpful. For me, once I cut it out of my diet I pretty much lost interest in food altogether. I didn't realize it, but sugar was fueling my appetite for other foods as well. I don't know how common my experience is, but cutting sugar may be even more helpful than you think, and effect you in positive ways you weren't expecting.

Now that I'm in maintenance, a DQ cone is a good treat for me. It's a single serving, out of the house. The person making the cone can make it as big or as little as you ask. I always tell the person I want a kiddie cone and I get a cone where the ice cream just barely clears the top of the cone, perfect!

When I was actively losing weight, it was very freeing for me to simply say "I don't eat that." No agonizing, no wondering if I can fit something in for the day, no extra time on the treadmill to make up for it, no rationalizing, no slippery slope. I had the foods I ate, the foods I did not eat and the clear-cut black and white decision making process was easy.

Maintenance and learning how to add treat foods/special occasion foods back in to my diet was a learning curve - valuable, but I'm glad I didn't have to learn healthy habits AND managing treat foods at the same time. By the time I was ready to figure out how to add a DQ chocolate dipped cone to my life, I already had a firm healthy lifestyle in place, with a ton of good habits to fall back on.

Along with a few of the other posters, I have sugar/carb issues and the dramatic reduction of empty carbs/sugar in my diet has liberated me from most cravings and all binges. If you had told me 5 years ago, I wouldn't eat muffins, scones, cookies and M&Ms, I would have thought you were crazy. Instead of feeling like I'm in food prison where I can't eat what I want, I feel like I am free from food - I have much more control over what I eat. In the past, I would diet by eating low calorie snack foods (like Teddy Grahams). I would consume boxes of "low calorie" snacks in one sitting - because I would eat a serving and then be unable to stop until the box was empty. I don't have problems like that with a snack of a tangelo! or a String cheese or the foods I eat now.

You're definitely right about the lack of perfection. Last night I had 2 handfuls of salt-vinegar cashews while I was cooking dinner. Wasn't on plan, added a ton of extra (albeit healthy) calories to my day and I really had no good reason WHY I ate them. Back to it today - no agonizing or beating myself up, although I may bring those cashews to work to share and get them out of my line of fire at home.

Tara,
A couple of other thoughts:

1. You might want to consider the words you use to describe this. For me, the words you chose say something about the whole eating plan/healthy lifestyle start and really you are talking about one little corner of one day. You could say something about "My cone plan didn't work out" or "Need another strategy for next time" but "I slipped" seems bigger than the issue seems to deserve. I spent a lot of time early on stopping myself from saying "I blew it". That was a place of all-or-none thinking for me and I just had to give THAT up cold turkey. There wasn't a single food I needed to do that with but man, did I need to give up that stupid all-or-none stuff.

2. You did so many things right here I want you to be sure to credit yourself. To my way of thinking, the only thing you forgot was to tell yourself you were going to get a small or child's cone instead of just a cone. It could be that simple, just deciding ahead of time what you do want to do in a little more specific way and then STICKING to that. You were trying a way to keep tub o' ice cream out of your house, you obviously usually would've gotten something more indulgent and decided against those choices, you even recognized that it didn't work and maybe most importantly you recognized this wasn't the end of the world and your plan. All of those deserve :carrot::carrot::carrot:.

3. While I agree about not driving into the tree over and over again, I really believe on Day 4, you cannot begin to have a good sense of what trees are truly going to deserve chopping down and which ones are going to create a beautiful balanced life for you yet. You're going to plant and groom a beautiful healthy garden of trees, bushes and flowers but there is no rush to determine that tree is the dangerous one yet. Take your time. You didn't get here in a day and you're not going to figure this out in a day but you can and will figure it out.

Peg

You can IM if you feel like slipping and cheating anymore.We can win this war and everyone slips just don't fall and give up.

I hope you are doing this for health reasons and not to be skinny sick.

I'm taking zantrex 3 and is really addicting and I don't care..since,I just want to lose the weight to have a new baby lol..ironic but true..so true.

I'monline now..if you want to talk or stalk each other bout slipping.

I'm real laid back and not a pain in the a$$ I have a weakiness for nachos anything saltine strange but,no sweet tooth and I heard chips are bad too lol

I take 2 zantrex pills and I feel so happy whoa..is better than my meds for real.

I have lost in the past with trimspa and it was like total of 15 lbs but they stopped making it..wtf..I want them so bad..anyone know where I can get something similar to it?

Oh..I suggest you start reading something even tabloids anything so you won't eat..I'm reading a book called seeds of yesterday from andrews.I think reading has paid off since,I have kept off some lbs.

post pictures of how you can look if your thinner I do that..and it sure keeps me wanting to OD on anythingJK..

peace-

I hope you don't slip and fall..I WILL try to catch ya..

for some odd reason..I have slipped just not fallen dead lol

I'm in the cold turkey category - especially in the very beginning. In my book - DEFINITE NO'S are a DEFINITE MUST. It takes away that decision making process - should I? Shouldn't I? It was wonderful to not have to give "those foods" a second thought. They were no longer an option for me. That was it. I told myself time and time again, something very similar to what Glory said "I just don't do that anymore, I don't eat like that". "I just don't do that anymore. I don't eat like that" And then eventually - I didn't and didn't need to say it. It became automatic.

I also think it's important to set yourself up for success. I told my family I needed their help. And that meant no junk in the house and no going to restaurants that didn't have EXCELLENT choices. I was on a mission. I had a job to accomplish and I took it VERY seriously. VERY. And I wasn't taking ANY chances by letting myself get a taste of "those foods". Just like an alcoholic can't have a sip of vodka. Nope. Not worth the risk.

As far as the portion control - calorie counting was my answer. IT forced me to set my limits since I didn't have a turn off valve. And planning - very essential. Plan out your foods in advance - and no veering. It's also essential to ADD in great, healthy, DELICIOUS lower calorie foods. You may no longer choose to eat certain foods - but you get to explore and experiment with new and healthier and more tasty fare.

Get back to that plan ASAP. But please be open to changing it and tweaking it as need be. Losing weight and a lot of it is doable and without a doubt, any one and every one CAN do it. You included. I look forward to hearing of your success! :)

It happens to (almost) everyone from time to time. Just keep your head up, remember your goals and always believe in yourself *hugs*

Originally Posted by p7eggyc:
Tara,
A couple of other thoughts:

1. You might want to consider the words you use to describe this.
...
"Need another strategy for next time"

Nice, that's a great phrase to use instead of "I cheated" or "I failed" or whatever. I really like that.

Whether you consider yourself a food (or a type of food) addict, or not and whether you approach the problem through cold-turkey "perfection" or gradual modification - I'm not sure the method matters as much as the messages we tell ourselves when we don't live up to our expectations for ourselves.

When I worked with alcohol and drug addicts, it was surprising (at first) to see that the people with the most remorse, guilt and self-recriminations, didn't have the most success. A little guilt seems to be a good thing, but if you don't move past it quickly, it can become a trap instead of a motivator.

Also, the number and/or frequency of relapses didn't always correlate with ultimate success. Like food "addictions" the ability to get back on the wagon sometimes was a lot more valuable than the number of clean days in a row a person could manage. If an alcoholic "slips" about once a month, and gets right back on track after one drink - it's still a "slip," but their life functioning may be much higher than the person who only slips once a year, but goes on a massive bender when they do. Some may never slip, some may struggle with slips all of their lives. Trying to label one person more successful than another may be pointless.

The issue I think is how you treat yourself, and how you respond to mistakes. Are you able to get back on the horse that threw you?

If beating on yourself is useful, and you're satisfied with doing so - ok. It's not how I want to live my life, but if it works for you, then so be it.

However, if imperfection triggers feelings that erode your confidence in your ability to succeed, you've got to rethink the process. For practicality sake, if guilt isn't assisting you in positive change, you've got to find something that does. For me, that is recognizing that the process of change is difficult, and that I don't have to think I'm stupid, lazy, or crazy in order to pick myself up, dust myself off, and get back on the road.