I think those that spoke about 'want' are onto something. I very seldom am hungry, that grumbling tummy hunger ... I just don't have it. But I want to eat. I hardly ever leave food behind. The last one left-over could be the death of me yet.

My hubby is this way. A cake will literally go stale before he decides he will have another piece. He does eat huge quantities of other things at times but in general he just doesn't seem to think about food unless he is hungry.

Yeah, I think about this sometimes... and it's funny, cause I realized, in the last 5 months, my friends have pretty much only seen me eating burgers and fries, huge burritos, etc etc.... because whenever we go out with them it's usually a "special" meal that I've planned for, and worked in. But I'm sure it doesn't look that way, they probably assume that's just how I eat. They just don't see all the heathly, small-portioned choices I make the other 90% of the time. I wonder if someday I'll be "skinny", and people who didn't know me now will assume that I can "eat whatever I want and not gain weight". LOL.

I worked with this girl one time who was anorexic thin. Apparently she WASN'T anorexic though. I figured it out after a couple days, when we went to a corner store together to get snacks. She was getting a milkshake, because her boyfriend told her she needed to fatten up so his parents wouldn't be worried.

The milkshake had all melted before she had drank half of it. She just didn't seem that interested in tasty foods. If it were me, that milkshake would've been gone in 2 minutes flat, along with any of the other candies she bought but didn't finish. I can't have treats around, I WILL eat them, and usually in one sitting.

It's possible she really was anorexic but just very good at hiding it. But, I didn't see her as thinking she was fat, which most anorexics do. She seemed like she wanted to gain weight, but just wasn't interested in food that much.

Also, I used to be thin. I remember my first job at 17 in HS, at Burger King. Since I had always been thin, and growing, I could eat whatever I wanted and stay thin. So at work people saw me eating tons of fries and milkshakes and everything, and wondered how I stayed so thin. I always told them I didn't know, I must have a high metabolism.

Now of course, I realize I wasn't staying thin, I was slowly gaining weight but not realizing it (though it took me another 5 years to get overweight). So it might be a lot of these thin people who "eat whatever they want" are just thin for now, and will someday be as fat as the rest of us

I've posted about my mom before. She has always been slender, she's about 5'4" and she weighed about 120 lbs my entire life. She is one of those people that can forget to eat or she can grab 2 nuts out of her big Costco tub of nuts on the kitchen counter and just eat 2. And she's happy with 2 nuts! If I eat 2 nuts, I want a handful, followed by another handful.

She looooves food, and loves to eat (I can't name one thing she doesn't like - I like a lot of stuff, but I hate green peppers, mayo and passionfruit, mom, she likes everything). I've seen her put away huge portions of food, an entire plate of fajitas and fixin's for example. She puts butter on everything, puts mayo on veggies. Her house is FULL of tasty snacks (ice cream, chocolate covered almonds, graham crackers, truffles, the aforementioned huge container of nuts - just stuff I can think of from my last visit). She has all those snacks - but the package of truffles that was sitting on the counter when I visited in November, was still on the counter in April. She eats stuff if she feels like it.

When this subject came up a few months ago on the board, I asked my mom if she had ever watched her weight/counted calories/dieted and she said never.

But, when she packs her lunch, she puts just a few fritos in a bag. She does stuff like pack half a sandwich (like a peanut butter foldover). When she is stressed/anxious she doesn't eat. My stepfather died in November and my mom is down to 105 lbs - I sent her one of those huge Harry & David towers for Mother's Day. I told her to start eating a piece of peanut butter toast before bed, just to get some more calories in her.

She also eats really really slowly.

Since it's Mother's Day - I should take an extra minute to say my mom did a GREAT job with food when we were kids. No soda, very little junk, stuff like apples for in between meal snacks. She didn't buy junk cereal (I still love Wheat Chex!) and she put a healthy dinner on the table every night (meat, veggie, carb). We had very few afterdinner desserts. Although I did deviate from her example in my 20s and early 30s, I still had a good idea about the "concept" of what a healthy day should look like as a guide.

I'm really not sure where my issues with food came from - my lack of an "off" switch, my ability to eat when full, my "more more more" response to sugar/carbs. Not from my mom!

I do think we are "wired" differently. I never had an "off" switch either. I do think it is biological. And, to make matters worse, those of us that have become obese, have further changed our bodies in a way that has permanently altered our biological responses.

That being said, I do believe that we can overcome some of the biological differences through many different avenues. Most of them have already been stated.
1. Control our environment - don't introduce it at all, or do so in a controlled size/manner
2. Practice discipline - set rules that govern our behavior, and thus help us to eat like those "other" (I won't say normal) folk
3. I do believe that, while we cannot change our biological makeup, we can tweak our biological responses through a two-pronged approach. a. We can employ cognitive thinking/spiritual methods (Beck, Weigh Down, mindful eating, following natural hunger cues, etc.) and b. we can employ physical methods (eating more often, balancing our eating, eat slowly, volumetrics, etc.)

I think what works is very individual. What works for me, won't necessarily work for you. I love the analogy that Meg gives -"we are laboratories of one".

I can honestly say, while I know that I will never eat like a thin person, I am coming much, much closer as I travel the maintenance road. As I discover what works and doesn't work for my body, I do - fairly often - find myself stopping after a few bites of something I would have scarfed down in the past. I do take a piece of a cookie or dessert and find that I am satisfied. I have left potato chips sitting on the plate after eating only a few - truly not wanting any more.

I'm a work in progress. I don't eat like a thin person consistently, but I do believe that I am continually changing for the better.

I think this is one of the most exciting things about maintenance - I'm not done with this journey. There are still avenues to explore, experiences to have, and exciting times ahead

My DH has never had a weight issue. In fact, he has maintained his 33" waist and 180lb-ish weight (+/- 5 lbs either way) on his 6-foot fram since he graduated from university some 22 years ago.

He just doesn't GET it -- he can eat half a piece of cake and just leave the rest on his plate. He's full. of. cake. 3 chips? No problem -- he just wanted a taste. "No thanks" to popcorn during a movie or Whoppers -- he's just not hungry for it.
Now I, on the other hand, have been blessed with a special dessert stomach. I could be absolutely stuffed, but if cake comes around, my body says
DEPLOY THE DESSERT STOMACH!
and there it is! Magical space for dessert! Or candy, or movie popcorn with butter (and as a special treat, throw in two boxes of MandMs into the popcorn -- salty, sweet, nutty -- does life get ANY better?).
He doesn't understand how I have a tough time NOT cleaning off my plate, whereas I don't understand how he can leave things there, just not eaten...

He's off for a 10km run now, because he wants to work off his winter 2lb weight gain.

I want to be normal, like him...

Kira

When I was living with my very skinny room mate, I decided that I could eat some of his spaghetti. He made me a plate and him a plate. The spaghetti was hardly filling the plate. Right there I realized why I was fat. I would have piled that plate so high.

Yet even my boyfriend has more of an off switch than I. He's not thin. He's like 250 with a beer belly but at all you can eats, he limits himself to two plates and a dessert whereas I can have up to three plates or more.

As we speak, my roommate has a big beautiful open jar of chocolate eggs on her dresser in her bedroom. Last night I witnessed her pop a couple in her mouth and happily get on with her life. Guaranteed, she will eat that jar over the next few months, in moderation, and never think twice about it.

I would have eaten that whole jar on Easter Sunday!

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. It's nice to hear all of your thoughts! A lot of my girlfriends are really thin, and while some of them do just seem to eat whatever they want (which is less than what I want, like you all said), I've also noticed that a lot of them are very conscious about what they're eating. I used to think that they were all just naturally skinny and felt bad for myself because I'm not naturally skinny, but after starting this process to reach a healthy weight/lifestyle and talking to some of them, I've realized that a lot of them actually count calories and are very picky about what they put in their mouths! No wonder they're thin! So even though it may seem like they're happily eating chocolate and candy, they're very aware of how much chocolate they just ate and how much they'll eat for dinner to make up for that. Knowing that made me feel a little less sorry for myself! And how much cooler is it for us to be thin/healthy due to sheer willpower and commitment rather than a fast metabolism that will eventually slow down and catch up with us (even though we all dream about that from time to time)? Happy mother's day to all of you mothers out there!

I think in our discussions on 3FC we've identified a few different types of people who maintain a normal weight (besides the formerly obese and people who struggle with eating disorders). From what I can see, they are..

1. People that intuitively seem to want less food or have little interest in food, and can easily eat small quantities. Within this category we could even consider the subcategories of those that enjoy food and eat treats in small quantities, and those that really have no desire or interest in food other than for fuel.
2. So-called "naturally thin" people who eat a lot and/or eat a lot of high calorie foods and have high metabolisms that keep them at a normal weight despite their habits.
3. People who at first might appear to be "naturally thin" but actually make a conscious effort to manage their weight by choosing food carefully.

Some people might fall into a grey area between categories too, of course. For this thread, #1 most applies and this is the category of people that I find most fascinating, because like many of you, I just don't get it! How can they effortlessly maintain such portion control?? It's a mystery to me!

I'm learning to just leave what I don't want. It's surprisingly hard to do, even after you realize you don't really want it.

Why does the food continue to call us - because we give in and fuel the craving. I've lost a lot of weight and against what most people say, I refused to give in to cravings. I now have no desire for desserts and other junk foods. Fast food makes me ill with all that grease. My big treat for today is a red pepper. I love them but they are expensive. Found them on sale today. Good luck.

I don't know about it's all about how normal people eat... my ex boyfriend used to eat alot all the time. He could go through a bag of M&Ms a day, eat icecream (and go back for seconds), sometimes if I couldn't finish all my food at a restaurant he'd eat the rest for me... and he was 6'0 and weigh 145! Sure he was a stick, but he didn't gain weight eating all that junk food! I was gaining weight in that relationship trying to eat like he did... bad idea, haha.
I guess alot of men are lucky they don't gain weight like women do.

I think that's what happens to must of us that have always had a weight problem. Probably didn't help me as a kid, I had no off switch, and my parents let me have what ever I wanted, and even often just gave me yummy foods as a way of showing love.

I wonder if the people able to control their portions without thinking had their portions controlled as a kid? Were they only allowed a small amount of chips or icecream and no seconds were allowed?