3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

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-   -   People Staring (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/weight-loss-support/170085-people-staring.html)

Jacquie668 04-28-2009 12:40 PM

I never understood adults who terrorize other adults. It just seems so...strange to me. I've experienced my share of smirks and laughter, always behind my back of course as people don't tend to stand right up in front of you and say their piece. No no, they wait until your back is turned, or they drive by, they don't just stand there and face you down.

I do remember at my heaviest weight hearing a small grouping of young hooligans laughing and I knew it was at me. So, I turned around and faced them and smiled and gave them a look of "what was that?" They ran away so fast that I was sure they would plow someone over in their haste to escape. lol

Just recently I was walking out of the produce market with my boyfriend and this insane woman tried to run me down! I mean she slows down and we were walking across the way to our car and she starts inching forward and trying to bump me with her car. She was making these gestures like the reason why I was walking at a normal pace was because of my weight. Of course she was making some huffy comments as well, some weight related. I turned to face her and said loud enough for everyone around me to hear how rude and uncivilized she was and how she is going to get herself or others killed if she continued her unsafe and horrid behavior. People were shaking their heads at her. She got quiet after that and sat back and waited for us to cross. Then as soon as we were cleared she put on the gas and ZOOMED into a parking spot, almost crashing into another car! I heard someone else making a comment to her and saw her standing around kind of embarrassed as she saw people shaking their heads and staring at her.

Turn it around on them or kill them with smiles. Though I have to admit stealing their bathing suits is good fun. Do that too. :D

Jeanie912 04-28-2009 02:14 PM

Wow, I can't believe people say things like that! Honestly, I have never encountered that kind of thing, thank goodness. Family members have made comments about my weight, but not malicious, hateful comments or anything, just commenting on me gaining the weight back during my pregnancies. I have a gym membership, so I go there to work out. The people there either don't pay any attention to me or are very friendy. I just can't fathom how uncivilized some people are and how insecure they have to be to make those comments to begin with.

I'm sorry you ladies have had to deal with idiots like that. Forget them, they are losers and their opinions don't matter. Just keep puching along. Then when you reach your goals and become vibrant, heatlhy, attractive women and they want to give you the time of day, don't give it to them.

ceal2000 04-28-2009 03:04 PM

For some reason, some people feel that making fun of others is acceptable, I believe that the best revenge is living well, and of course I also believe that letting them know what big idiots they are is also acceptable!
:D

ac95srq 04-28-2009 05:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by beerab (Post 2717357)
lol and worst case scenario I bet you guys could kick those girls butts. I remember one time reading about these two skinny girls who were taunting these two overweight girls at the beach. Well they thought nothing of it and later when they went to the bathroom the two overweight girls jumped them and took their bathing suits :lol:

I don't condone violence but the two girls weren't hurt- just humiliated lol. I bet they never made fun of an overweight person after that.

It's crossed our minds! I don't condone violence either but sometimes people make you do things like that!

megwini 06-11-2009 11:53 PM

People like that really deserve to just be hit. I saw a really overweight guy on my college campus, probably weighing like 350 pounds at least, walking around with headphones a lot. I always smiled to myself and thought, "Good for him!" Never in the world would I have ever CRITISIED him for making a positive change in his life.

You know what I think? You know why I think the men do it? Why they taunt and tease us for trying to get healthy? BECAUSE THEY'RE AFRAID THAT WE JUST MIGHT ACTUALLY ACCOMPLISH SOMETHING. Then we'd be better than them. They'd rather feel unintimidated and keep you down than have to deal with the thought that you might actually succeed.

By the way, newleaf123, I really liked your signature format and copied it. I hope you don't mind. It takes up far less space!

kitchencurtains3 06-12-2009 02:37 AM

You know they're showing off how "brave" they are to each other rather than it having anything to do with you... guys always do that sort of thing in hordes. They are cowardly. I agree with all the other posters -- ignore them.

Samantha100 06-12-2009 05:48 AM

Most people find fault in others to try and boost their own egos and minimize their own shortcomings. What's important is how you feel about yourself. If you are exercising, watching your diet and making improvements in yourself, then you should feel pretty darned good about yourself. We have created a culture in America where anyone that isn't pretty, skinny, and young somehow isn't worthy.

losermom 06-12-2009 07:25 AM

DH & I are on w6 of the c25k program. On about w1/w2 we were running and a group of guys, who were having drinks in their backyard, yelled at us, "Run, Forest, Run!" I ignored them, but DH turned, smiled and waved. That shut them up. Others make comments like, "Keep going!" or some other supportive comment. We live in an older neighborhood with lots of families, with kids and dogs, that are outside in the evening when we go out to walk/run.

On a lighter note, early this Spring I was walking my dog one afternoon. Now mind you my dog is adorable (probably because she's mine and we love her) and it's hard to tell what kind of dog she is because she's a mutt. She is part Beagle, but bigger, a Giant Beagle if you will. Anyway, she and I are walking along, and a group of teenage boys yell out their car window, "I really like your dog!"

dragonwoman64 06-12-2009 08:43 AM

I (now) would have given those guys a word back, but in Brooklyn we use something stronger than jerk (heh heh).

I used to walk every day in my neighborhood. I was so shy and self conscious. People DO notice in a good way, but may be afraid to say anything. One day a guy I used to go past all the time actually complimented me on losing weight (!). I've had a couple of people say things to me at the gym too.

It's unfortunate (to put it mildly) that the jerky comments are so loud, and the cheers may go unsaid, so you may have to put their voices in your head, like: great job! good for you! and know that many, many people (many more than the thoughtless nincompoops who yell) are wishing you well in all your efforts.

LuvMyMr 06-12-2009 12:20 PM

I am so sorry to hear this!!! You have a right to be out walking like everyone else! How ignorant are these people! I do understand the embarassment as I went through it too but please do not let anyone deter you from enjoying the fresh outdoors. I live in Florida and it's nice and sunny after having so much rain. I intitially started walking at night because I didn't want people to see me out walking. I was watching one of Oprah's weight loss shows and one woman said she was out walking one day and some idiots boys threw a bottle at her! So she took to walking in a graveyard. People can be so stupid. It really makes me angry. I agree about an Ipod or mp3 player. It also makes the time go by faster and more enjoyable with your favorite music playing in your ear. :) Good luck and God bless. Keep on trucking and I am pulling for ya. ;)

saef 06-12-2009 01:17 PM

This post & the fears expressed by so many here make me want to cry.

Damn it, it's our elemental right as a human beings to be able to move about freely in the world. We have every right to public thoroughfares. I just hate that we would shrink from taking our place alongside all the other people out there.

My other thought was: Haven't you noticed that other walkers & runners NEVER yell things at others who are out getting a little exercise?

A friend of mine who runs in the evenings because of his schedule says when he's driving to work in the early morning & sees other runners, he actually feels envious of them (because he's got to go to his job, rather than putting in a few miles on a gorgeous spring/summer/fall/winter morning) & slightly guilty for not being out himself. But he'd never dream of calling out anything derogatory. He's been out there himself, sweating & grimacing. He knows what physical effort looks like.

So I'm willing to bet it's generally the people who DON'T exercise (and are also idiots) who are saying these things.

But we do have to be careful that we don't interpret neutral or even positive people as harboring negative feelings toward us. During my two-year weight loss journey, I often ran in a park that stretched along the Bronx River. (I still do sometimes, when my feet are up to it & the weather's good.) I live in a heavily populated area, but still, I began to recognize the people that I habitually passed. (Well, that's a lie -- first I recognized their dogs, and then I began recognizing the people.) There was a very athletic-looking woman out walking a small, hyper dog whom I often nodded to. I envied her fit-looking body. I felt a little embarrassed at my unfitness whenever I saw her.

One day, maybe about 14 months into my efforts, she called out to me & said, "I just want to tell you what a great job you're doing. You look fantastic!"

This, coming from a stranger, someone I just nodded to occasionally, maybe once a month or so. The glow I got from that compliment lasted for days. You can tell by my recounting it here that it's still enshrined someplace special in my memory.

One of my goals is to pass that compliment on to someone else. I see a lot of people out walking & running now that the summer's here, and I hope I can soon say those exact words quite sincerely to someone else who's out there, getting the work done.


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