So when do we stop being "fat"?
 

I've lost nearly 80 pounds so far this year, getting close to ONEderland, but I'm still definately far from being "normal" sized. In 90% of the pictures of me, I still look terrible, and though I feel better physically, it's not what I expect a normal person feels like.


So I'm wondering, for those of you that are already under 200, when did you first realize you were a normal size? Was it a certain weight, pant size?
When can I expect to stop being "fat"?

Or those of you still on your way to goal, when do you expect that you won't be fat anymore?

For some of us chickies, it'll be a certain pant size. For others, it's all about the mentality of "fat" vs. "thin" regardless of what the scale says. And lastly, it could also be when a chickie reaches her target weight that she/he no longer thinks she's "fat" but is now thin. It varies for each and every one of us! :)

~ tea

First off, congratulations on your fabulous weight loss - you look smokin' hot in your photo!

I have struggled with my weight my entire life. When my son was about a year old, I lost about 40 lbs. and was down to 132 lbs. at 5'6". (And what I wouldn't give to have to lose only 40 lbs. now! :lol: ) I was a size 8, but I was still surprised to be considered "thin."

I remember this one time when I ran to the grocery store from work to pick up an apple because I didn't have any fruit in the house to put with my sandwich I'd packed for lunch. An older woman in line looked at me and said, "Please tell me that's not the only thing you're eating today - you already have such a beautiful figure!" It floored me - not because it was a bit rude and none of her business what I was eating, but because she referred to me as having a beautiful figure.

Another time, I was on reserve duty away from home and a girl and I were discussing the difficulties of staying within physical fitness (read: weight) regs and a guy looked at me and said, "Wow, I can't even picture you as overweight." I was like, 'is he talking to me?' :lol:

I don't know when we finally see ourselves as thin. It's a weird brain/body dynamic.

When I lost a lot of weight back around 2000, I ticked off someone in a parking lot. He called me a "skinny as* b**ch". I positively beamed!

this is such a great question. It's taken me over a year to lose 75lbs, and I'm also very close to onederland, but I know I'm far from where I'd like to be. Lots of ppl have said you look so little, and you're wasting away....I smile and say thank you, but I do have quite a ways to go yet...but it's nice to know ppl notice a difference. I think if I can get into a size 12 or even 14, I will consider myself in really great shape, but I have no clue. I also can say "right now" that if I can get to 160, I'd be really estastic and consider myself a success weight loss story, but again, I don't know till I get there...maybe it'll be 170, or maybe it'll be 130....I just have to live in the now and take it one day at a time, and live healthy one day at a time.

Much congrats on your weight loss thus far.

I felt 'normal' at 165 - 170 lbs. Don't get me wrong - I still had my fat days and wanted to lose weight, but I did feel normal most of the time.

I feel like a beach whale at the moment. :o

I'm 116lbs, was over 175lbs. I am "skinny fat" and still feel huge. I don't look light at all. So in my head, I'm still fat and want to be about 100lbs. I have been stuck for ages, though.

I still have a little way to go before reaching my goal weight, but I'm starting to not feel fat anymore. For me personally, it wasn't a pants size (though that helped!) or a weight, but just the gradual realization that I don't cringe in disgust when I seem myself in the mirror anymore.

I'm certainly no where close, but I'm hoping for me, it's when I get below 150lbs or can put on a size eight jean.

I went to a waterpark this week and still felt "fat." When I see photos it helps me remember how far I have come. I feel that way sometimes in the mirror but honestly, I still feel fat from the inside out. I am not going anorexic or anything nutty--I am still rationale. I just don't know when or if I will feel thin other than momentarily. A really big thing to me is my thighs. I can wear a small 6 jean but my thighs don't have that long sleek look I have always coveted. Try as I might I do not have a petite build and cannot compete with teeny women in the size department.

the times ive lost weight in the past, i wasnt at goal yet i was still like a size 8 aiming for 6, but that was when i was like...i would be ok looking like this forever, even if i didnt lose anymore weight, i am happy like this. and thats when i stopped being fat in my mind.

im about twelve pounds away from that point so heres hoping it wont be long before ill be able to feel that way about myself again. i mean, i know im not that fat at a size ten...i just dont feel that thin either.

For me, when I'm a size 8 I feel thin, however, when I'm a size 10, I feel normal. The last time I was here, I was 153 and then, I fell off the wagon, so I'm starting over. It's really hard, but I'm trying not to feel bad about it, since I didn't gain all the weight back.

At one point I felt comfortable in a size 16 and being 200lbs. I felt normal.

Then once I hit 255+lbs, I felt huge. Now that I am inching closer to 200 again, I feel...different. I feel bigger than before. I can't believe at one point I felt great with myself at this size. It really makes me wonder when I'll be normal. Or at least be normal. I am hoping things will get better the closer I get to my goal of 140 - 150.

I think ill probably feel "normal" when i get into the 150's. For me its just being within a healthy weight range for my height. Im not looking at pants size or pounds though, i just want to feel comfy in my skin...

Physically, I'm not fat anymore. For the most part, I stopped feeling fat when I got to size 6 or 8. (At my height and frame, size 8 was still higher than where I wanted to be.) I still feel fat sometimes--when something I try on doesn't look good, or when I catch myself at funny angle in the mirror (warrior pose is no friend to curvy bums--I'll see myself in the mirrors in the gym studio and think, "Ugh! My a-- is huge!"). And sometimes I feel fat when I blame things I'm not happy with (being single, usually) on being 'fat'--which isn't true, but when you're having those moments, 'true' doesn't matter much.

More often though, I act fat--I buy a big bag of chips, and eat the whole thing. Ack! That's so many calories, and how I gained weight in the first place. Or when I order something when I'm hungry without thinking how many calories it is--like a medium chocolate chiller from Second Cup, which turns out to be 500 calories...WHAT?!? That's also how I got fat in the first place. Or when I think I need a 'treat' every day, or twice in a day--even though at my size, even one treat can easily be 10% of my calories for the day. That's also how I got fat.

I'm getting much better at realizing I'm not physically not. And I less often feel fat. But it's the acting fat that I'm struggling with. Long term, to keep off the weight, I will have to not act fat--order seconds, eat bigger portions, order food on impulse, eat when I'm bored--more often. That will be the part of maintenance I struggle with.

That's pretty much exactly what I'm going through, which is why I posted this thread. I definately feel much bigger now than I did at this weight a few years ago, and I'm not sure if it's mental or if my body weight is just composed of different amounts of fat/muscle.

I also have a problem getting depressed when I see other people setting goals with their HW being what I weigh now, or what I'm aiming to weigh in a few months. Just little reminders of how big I let myself get. I think when summer comes and I'm more active, that should help me to feel more "normal".

Here's a funny for you...

I'm 286 lbs. I'm HUGE. I am. HOWEVER I am 92 lbs less than I USED to be and guess what? I feel normal. I don't feel like the biggest person in the room anymore (even though I am). I don't feel side show circus huge anymore. So with every single MORE lb I lose I feel MORE normal. I can't imagine how I am going to feel at goal. I simply can't.

I'm with cfmama. My official weight right now is 262 but I recently bought a newer, better scale which bumped my weight up **19** pounds heavier than the old, cheap scale. I was kind of bummed ~ well, more than kind of. But at the same time I started going to the gym six days a week. The scale has been dropping a little bit every day but I still have 9-10 lbs to go to get back down to 262 on the new scale. Maybe I've hit the 100# mark, maybe I haven't. I'll never know.

BUT!! I feel TINY for the weight I am. I tried on an old pair of size 18 jeans tonight. They didn't fit but they came pretty dam close!!!! I might be able to wear them next month! Y'all, the last time I could fit into those jeans I weighed about 225 lbs. I am 40-50 lbs more than that right now. I am so much smaller than I used to be ~ it's insane.

In 2003 when I weighed in the 180s I felt like a cow. A heifer. Moo. My measurements were around 43 1/2 - 35 - 45. Duh, that's not a cow. My current measurements, with the scale hovering around 270, are 48 1/2 - 38 - 50. That's not that different but I weight 90 lbs more. I don't know why, but I'm not looking a gift horse in the mouth.

So, at this rate, I won't feel "thin" at 199 lbs but I may possibly feel "normal" and I also may possibly be an average size...here's hoping, anyway. And like cfmama I may still be the largest person in the room, but I don't feel like a circus elephant anymore. And I certainly did wearing a size 32.

I started to feel more normal when I realized that other people no longer see me as a fat person. However, I still feel fat sometimes, especially when I realize that I don't look the way I always imagined I would at this weight. Even though I'm so close to my original goal, I have plenty of extra weight on me. I'm by no means "thin" yet, or at least I don't feel that way.

Will I ever? I have no idea.

That's exactly how I feel at times! A lot of people my height have HWs that are lower than my goal!

Honestly, now I can look at pictures of myself from four or five years ago when I weighed about 100 pounds less (but was still obese by BMI standards) and think that I didn't look half bad..sort of hot, even!

The funny thing for me is that I honestly feel more attractive now at 290lbs than I did when I was 13 and 150lbs; the only thing that's really motivating me to lose weight is a recent (minor) health scare.

I really think feeling "normal" will happen for me not with a weight or a pants size, but once I hit certain "milestones." Being able to walk to the top of the hill I live on without being nauseated and winded, buckling a plane seat belt without sucking in my gut and trying five times, and being able to sit in any desk I want to without my damn thighs getting in the way! If that happens at the 190lbs I'm aiming for, great! If it doesn't, down the goal weight will go!

I just don't want my body to stand in my way anymore, but at the same time, I'm not built to be a "small girl." As long as I'm healthy, I would rather be "abnormal" and keep a little pudge around to fill me out than be "normal" and personally not like the way I look.

I was going somewhere with this, but I started to ramble so I'll just sum up by saying that I think "normalcy" is not quite so normal and really does vary from person to person. So even if my goal weight is someone else's starting weight, I guess I'm okay with that as long as I'm preserving my health and my body is getting me through the day without a fight!

I'm kinda in the same spot now. I'm still bigger than all my friends, but I feel okay. Not content, still on my way to healthy, but I no longer feel freakish.

I'm really enjoying all of your responses :)

Totally. I think it may just be the way our bodies are now. I know I have a lot of excess skin from losing weight and getting so heavy caused the fat to deposit in odd places, so my body physically looks different. Mentally I feel like I won't be able to accept my body. I think I look like I am 10x bigger then before I lost weight. It's annoying. Some days I feel good, others I don't. My clothes are getting smaller, but my image isn't shrinking with the numbers.

I also noticed you're hoping to get to 188 by June 20th! I want to be at 180 by July 16th for my birthday...but am giving myself technically until August. I'm not sure how my losses will be once I get under the 200s so I don't want to be disappointed. But I am hoping to be between 140-150 by the end of 2009!

It's funny that you posted this topic. Just today, I was talking to my husband about how I feel "like a normal person" now. When I was 200+ pounds, I had this belief that everyone was staring at me because I was so fat. Like I was constantly in a spotlight. I don't feel that way anymore. I realize that I still have a way to go before I am at goal, but I feel SO much better now, and not self conscious (well, not usually). I think that before, part of me felt like I didn't have the right to exist in the space of other people. That feeling is gone, for the most part. I mean, I still feel less than perfect about my body sometimes, but that crushing despair is alleviated.

I actually contemplated shopping for a bathing suit the other day. Now, THAT is progress. :D

Peace, Heather

Kelly

I'm the same height as you and my starting point was around the same mark. In answer to your question I now consider that I look 'normal'. Anyone meeting me for the first time I think would get the impression that I'm neither fat nor thin. I think I reached this point when I could fit into a 'medium' top comfortably at around 180.

You will see from my stats that my goal is higher than some people's highest weight but I'm comfortable with that. I'm very small on top and have obvious collarbones and shoulders. My 36" bras are on the tightest and I definately don't want to be less than a 34" (still a DD cup though). So although I may go a little less than my original goal I don't think I want to be much smaller and certainly not lower than what would be considered 'normal' BMI.

Kitty

I'm the same, I was 197 and now 124, and even though I have a little over 10 pounds I'd like to lose, my body still, especially because of extra skin, is very lumpy and bulge-y.... I can never wear tight clothes, and, I don't think I will ever be able to since surgery is not an option. I still feel huge also.

I think I'll be no longer fat when I'l fit in my dear green skirt, that I could fit when I was 150's...and around that too, when I'll be able to fit into the related clothes. :) Cannot wait for that day.

Oh my gosh, this is exactly how I feel. Last time I lost weight and hovered around 200 and a size 16 I felt hot :o. Now I feel saggy...not skinny. I think it has something to do with "the question" I'm constantly asked. "How much MORE do you plan on losing??" When people ask that question so much, it makes me feel like they think I have to keep losing to be "normal". I'm better off staying home and not talking to anyone! ;)

I think I'm beginning to feel less like a fat person. I've found it much harder to feel like a "normal" sized person than I have found it to physically lose the weight. Sometimes I feel as though my mental perception of myself hasn't yet caught up with how I actually am. I'm still surprised when I can always fit into clothes in regular shops, and even more surprised when I don't even need the largest size they do. I know I've lost a lot of weight, and I feel so much better, but being overweight/obese was such a big (excuse the pun!) deal for me, and almost always on my mind, that it's sometimes hard to forget that I'm not that way anymore.

Like several others have said, I think I'll completely stop feeling "fat" when I feel really healthy. I am still overweight, even though I don't necessarily look fat, I still feel it, and I think that medically, when I am a healthy weight for my height, I'll feel "normal". I think other people would consider me normal-sized, or maybe a little bit chubby. I don't think anyone would say I look particularly fat. I wear a UK size 14, sometimes a 12, which I guess works out as a US 8-10. I know I'm far less fat than I was, but I am still above the healthy weight range for my height, and when I look at my body, I know I'm carrying some excess fat. I'm confident that when I reach that healthy weight, my perception of myself as a fat girl will start to go. I feel as though I'm mentally some of the way there already.

One final thing that's occurred to me: I think I will stop seeing myself as "fat" when another person asks me what I weigh, and I can shamelessly and honestly tell them without it being an issue.

I loved that. I think that's what it will take for me too.

This is a really interesting thread. Reading through it, I found the use of the words "fat" and "normal" interesting. I think of "somewhat fat" as "normal". It may be my circle of friends and coworkers, the state that I live in, or just me.

I see so many "fat" people that, for now, I am not concerned about not being "fat" but I am concerned with not looking and feeling "normal". To me, I did not feel "normal" because when I looked around, I was usually the largest person in view. When I walk into a room I always look around to gauge the average size of the people in the room. If I fit within the norm for the group, I feel normal. So how "normal" I feel is in direct relation to the size of the people around me.

I hope the day will come when I won't feel "fat" but can not even imagine it at the stage. However, the day is approaching when I will feel "normal" on most days. At least if I avoid the beach!

Every person is different. I weigh a lot more than I look. Everytime I go to the doctor I have to tell them to go up a notch on the scale. Which makes me feel ok and probably why it has taken me a year to realize that I can not keep hanging on to the baby fat excuse. I think fat is defined by each person differently. i think if I weighed 160 my goal weight, I would still think of myself as fat. it is just a mind set for some of us. people retain weight in different places too. who is to say what is normal or fat? I can wear a dress or skirt an entire size smaller than pants because of my booty and legs. So when I can get into a size smaller pants I will not mentally feel any different. Oh well. just take it one day at a time and do your best to stay on plan.

Well, I would like to think that once I can start shopping in the normal sized clothes section I wouldn't feel fat anymore but who knows. For me I want to be able to wear a sized medium shirt and a 10 pants. I also want a tummy tuck as I have that weird fat roll/muffin top roll and it bothers me. No amount of exercise or dieting will take that away. I plan to have a tummy tuck to remove the excess skin and after I get all that done I won't feel fat anymore.

I have no idea, I haven't been "thin" or even at a healthy weight since I was a kid, and totally unaware of my weight. :)

I'm realizing that, although i fully intend to bask in the glow of my "thin-ness" when I reach goal (I'm already celebrating the small achievements I've had so far), I'm also probably going to always think of myself as someone with a weight problem. Cause really, I am... I have problems with food and exercise, and probably always will if I don't keep an eye on things. And the last thing I want to do is reach my goal weight for a week, then never see it again with all the celebratory "I'm thin now, I can eat whatever I want" bingeing.

So yeah, in a way, I'll always be "fat"... cause there's a part of me that will always want to eat the big plate of nachos and spend all day on the couch. But I won't let that get in the way of how freaking awesome I'm going to feel when I no longer look it! :D

from the variety of responses, i think the "when do you stop feeling fat" question is extremely subjective and also does not necessarily perfectly align with feeling like you're at a normal weight. for me, i definitely am feeling significantly less fat now, so i think that's a definite improvement. i dipped down into the normal bmi range for about a day and a half last week, but i think i have at least about another 15 lbs to go before i stop feeling fat for me.

This ongoing dilemma about feeling fat or normal became clearer to me when I got rid of the words "fat" and "normal."

Instead, I tried replacing them with "unacceptable" and "acceptable."

So when I'm having a bad day, instead of saying that I feel fat, I'll say, "I feel unacceptable." Because it makes me start asking myself some questions that need to be asked. Like: "Why?" and "Unacceptable to who? To complete strangers? To men? To my family? To myself?"

When I feel good, get a glimpse in a mirror that I'm okay with, and say, "I feel acceptable," it raises the same questions.

I think "normal" definitely varies for different people, as you can see!

To me, I felt "normal" when I was 163lbs and had just met my DH. My goal is to get down to 165, but ultimately, if I get down to 150lbs...WOOHOO! For my height, I "should be" between 118-149lbs...what's one more pound to make it 150?!?! :lol:

Great question Kelly, I've been thinking the same thing lately. I think I look normal sized now but I still don't feel like I'm normal sized in my head. Does that make sense to you guys? I remember weighing less and still thinking I was fat when I looked in the mirror. I don't want to think that way again. When I look in the mirror I try to say to myself that I look good, that I'm doing a good job instead of saying oh I look fat. I don't want to be that girl again. I want to be proud of the work I've done to get to this point. I think the mind takes a bit longer to catch up to loss on the scale.