heh.

i still think this was a good thread, if one person can reevaluate and think NO i dont need to be a number, then great. its not a fine line between obsessive dieting and an eating disorder- its a ****ing cliff you fall off of when you didnt even see it coming.

for the record- i'm not judging anyone gw be obese or underweight, i just think this was a thread that needed to be started

I think they chose that weight because they think there is no way i can gain all that weight back again when i'm this small!

Ive thought of it before :S

I like this post. I think it has many valid points.

I'm certainly someone who re-evaluated!

I definitely fell into the "obsessed" end of the spectrum and was felt absolutely driven and compelled to lose more and more weight. I went from 180 odd pounds to about 110 - and i'm 5'6.

It was totally unsustainable *for my body* - my period stopped, my hair fell out, I was permanently freezing and achey. I was still fit - could lift decent amounts of weight and run all day but I was underweight.

These days (after gaining quite a bit back...muscle AND fat) I am settling for a comfortable 140-145 pounds.

I am currently an australian 8-10 (about a 4-6 in US terms) and have well defined muscles - I can run 30+kms (19 miles) and I love lifting heavy...I also know I LOVE my food lol.

For me re-assessing my goal weight meant taking into consideration my body shape, composition, my love of good food (and wine) and being happy with a sustainable weight.

I hold happily and naturally within 1 kilo or so of where I am currently without stress and I like it. I'm more focused on how I look and how my clothes fit than the scale.

Though I admit I do still have "fat" days lol. I guess I will always have those!

The other issue about those BMI charts, for those of us who have been overweight for some time, is that we have permanently changed our bodies. I was stunned to get body fat measurements and discover that my BMI, based on caliper measurements, was much lower than the number I get by plugging it into the online calculators.

The exercise physiologist explained to me that years of obesity have actually strengthen my legs and bones (walking became a "weight bearing exercise" and that even losing, my legs will retain some of that muscle.

The BMI charts can be a guideline but not a Bible.

My goal has been 140,the number on my driver's license (from age 16) and near the top of a healthy BMI per the charts. Based on the most recent assessment of a 38% fat...I have 134 pounds of lean muscle, bone, and organ weight. Do I really think I could have only 6 pounds of fat? Hardly.

I'm not changing my goal for now...but I suspect you will see it edge up....

My goal weight was originally 99lbs. Why? Because its a flawless double digit number in my head. But i had to re-evaluate. While 99 technically is a healthy weight for me according to my bmi, i also have to take into account that im not a small boned girl. I have wide hips and big boobs. And when i was 12 years old.. with alot of muscl, and very little fat, i weighed 104. So getting down to 99 isnt realistic for me. I realize that. So i chose 110. Because its in a healthy weight range. and when i was 115, i still felt i had quite a bit of flab on my *** to loose. But when i was 115 i didint exercise. So who knows, if i have themuscle tone that i want at 115 or 120.. i will stop there, but for now my goal is what is, and 110 is where i think i eed to be to look the way i want to look.. wich is smoking hot lol.

I can understand why someone might be offended at being told their goal is inappropriate. Some may have aspirations in the fields of entertainment, modeling, or ballet, and know their weight has to be in a competitive range. Or an overweight amputee may have a goal weight in mind that adjusts for the missing limb, yet not want to go into the fact that they're an amputee every time someone asks why their goal weight is so low.

I think that's why we have to be very careful about what we assume and how we voice our concerns for each other. Discussing how we chose our goal weights, or very politely asking if a person has spoken to their doctor about their chosen goal weight, and even a generic PSA as in this first post can be appropriate - but we have to step carefully on both ends.

When I needed a goal weight from my doctor, for my TOPS group he asked what I had in mind for a goal weight, and I suggested 200 lbs. Obviously trying to be diplomatic he asked if I possibly might want to reconsider. Realizing that 200 was still quite overweight, I explained that I would try to maintain 200 before deciding if I could lose more, and he told me that I'd mistaken the direction he meant. He suggested that I raise my goal higher (concerned that I might easily get discouraged). We settled on 250 lbs as my "first" goal weight.

I didn't change my goal weight here for several reasons. 150 lbs was the weight goal my pediatritian set for me in 8th grade for me to reach in high school (I only made it to 155), so it's still my fantasy goal weight. It's also a "normal" weight, and I hesitate to put the goal I suspect I may be satisfied to maintain (200 lbs) and especially the doctor's recommendation (250 lbs), because I don't want to invite comments that my goal weight is still in the obese range. In essence, I don't put my "real" goal in order to protect myself from criticism (I'm not saying that anyone here would criticise, it's just a precaution I felt the need to make).

I would hate to think there are women (or men) here who would do the same on the other side of the spectrum, but there probably are. Those who list a "healthy BMI" weight, but secretly want to lose more (or perhaps exagerate their height to masquerade the fact that their goal weight is atypical).

I think if we're too unaccepting or confronting of people's nonaverage goals, we just force it underground.

It's difficult to walk that magic line between appropriate discussion and uncalled for judgement. So, I think in any conversation on this topic, the topic of the ethics and appropriate way of discussing the topic go hand in hand with the topic itself.

Oh wow. This is an interesting conversation. While I understand the motivation behind it, I think it could have been handled a little bit nicer- not that it was incredibly mean or snarky, but because tone and intent is VERY difficult to read on the innerwebs.

People go to message boards such as this, looking for a place to get support, but generally speaking, most do not want unsolicited advice. Meaning, unless someone specifically asks "Is my goal too low?" They don't want to hear it. That being said, when you post to a board, you do leave yourself open to being given that unwanted advice.

I guess what it boils down to, is that we keep ourselves in check, and always ask "Would be offended if a perfect stranger said xyz to me?"


Oh, I also think if there is someone you (general you, not aimed at anyone specifically) feel has an unhealthy goal, a PM might be a more tactful way to voice your concern, rather than a PSA. A thread like this can easily be interpreted as a personal attack, rather than concern and information sharing.

JMHO

When deciding my own I look at the BMI charts from multiple internet sources. Most of those charts say that 120 is the lowest you should go if you are 5'7". Five pounds isn't that big of a deal in my book. I could probably lose another 30 actually but am not going to. But I definitely am going to lower my goal. I am a mom, have had two children in two years and am in my late 30's--for ME 115-120 isn't realistic to sustain.

SASCHA--would you please send me the name of the other website you are on. I would love to have a look there! Thx.

I see how unsolicited advice can be unwelcome. However, when I see women that are so frustrated with no loss, feeling like they are a failure because they just can't seem to get to their, what seems to me an unreasonably low, goal weight I DO feel the need to say something. I don't know if my current goal weight is too low for me , I may find it to be once I get closer but right now I couldn't say. I hope that if I become so wrapped up in my weight loss that I don't realize I am doing something unhealthy that someone here would do the same thing for me. I already feel like I may need that given my current body image issues but that is for another thread.

We're the same height, and I was the same way with 100 lbs. I still think it would be the most perfect round number to weigh. According to my body fat measurements, it's right out though, so I upped my goal.

I like this thread though. It raises a good point, and no one was singled out. Some people aren't familiar with bmi or body fat calculators or other tools, and it's a good thing to share things that can help people choose and reach healthy goals.