I gained 20 pounds. 2 weeks ago I weighed 155 pounds.
And as much as I would like to blame it on everything else, I know I am the only one at fault.
I got lazy.
I made excuses.
I went on autopilot.
But mostly I made excuses (which is my BIGGEST pet peeve)
I maintained a perfectly reasonable weight of 140-145 for 4 years (usually around 140). I was in excellent shape. I fit into every size 8 (and even a 6 here and there). My body fat hovered around 20%.
But something happened (enter autopilot, laziness, complacency, and excuses) and I gave up. I allowed myself to not be responsible for my decisions and now I'm feeling the consequences.
I fit into exactly 2 pairs of pants.
I got out of running shape and am back to square one.
I'm lethargic
I HATE being photographed (and this is something I haven't felt in YEARS).
People are talking.
So I'm bringing back the ticker. It's time to assess the damage and put it out there for all of you to see. I've worked my way up to 6 minutes straight of running (I'm never ever ever getting out of running shape again). I'm down 4 pounds. I'm taking back control over the bad choices that got me into this mess. I've realized that every decision I have regarding food choices is my decision.
Your bravery for talking about this is really inspiring. You can do this. I think sometimes just putting something like this out there can be a motivator to get back on track. I can't wait to hear your updates, I know you will do great. I think after getting to goal/losing a lot of weight it can be easy to fall into a rut and not notice weight creeping back up, I know it has happened to me. I am proud of you for posting this and for getting back on track.
I'm proud of you for taking control of the situation. AND for posting what caused it! Vigilance is hard, and boring, and downright depressing sometimes - but OH, so necessary!
You GO girl!
Last edited by CountingDown; 01-18-2009 at 02:26 PM.
Hey Junebug - you are getting right back on track and it is awesome! Back in Sept I noticed I was almost 10 lbs up myself - just rationalizing "oh I can have this, oh I can have that" did it to me. It was amazing how much weight I could gain without being "bad" (I still stuck to all my big rules, I just let bites, nibbles, desserts and wine stack up).
I did marching band my freshman year and was spared the freshman 15. I guess it will always find ya, won't it?
Glory: It's simply amazing what rationalizations you can find for wine. "I went to the gym, so I earned half a bottle of pinot!" Yeah, right.
Thank you guys so much for the support. I think I may have needed it more than I realized. Liz, I really did have to take a big gulp and admit to myself what had happened. It was so easy to stick my head in the sand and pretend like I was kidding myself. I had to admit once again that my body is different and that I can't eat like everyone else whenever I want. I think Mandalinn's post a while back about resentment and frustration kinda woke me up to the fact that I just had to face it.
Okay ... can I do it tomorrow morning after I weigh myself?
Yes. But can you weigh yourself the day after, too? I think that's what woke me up. I went back the maintainer rule of weighing everyday (and I know this doesn't go for everyone, but studies show, yada yada yada....). That meant no weighing when I "felt" skinny or weighing when I *knew* I would be down a couple of pounds (which meant that weighing was a very rare occurance).
I realized how truly out of touch I had gotten with my body when I was having to become aware of the fluctuations and what-not.
Thank you for posting! Count me in as one who gained 20 pounds and is now determined to lose it. It's good to know I'm not alone. Though I'm sorry we're in this mess!
Relating to Gary's point, my husband said "It could have been 40 pounds" and it easily could have. I am glad to be back on track, eating better, and exercising more again. I like feeling like I'm in control.
Junebug - you go, girl!!!!
You inspire me - because you slipped a little and DIDN'T just write off success. You know what it is to be healthy and fit ... and now you have a very real advantage because you KNOW you can get back there. Best wishes and please keep us updated!
I changed my ticker because of this post. And I also got sick of looking at that 189 when I KNEW I wasn't anymore...I thought it would be inspiring for me but instead it depresses me.
Good luck! You've done it before and you can do it again!
Bringing back the ticker
I'm proud of you for taking control of the situation. AND for posting what caused it! Vigilance is hard, and boring, and downright depressing sometimes - but OH, so necessary!
HEART 
I'm not ready 
