Bringing back the ticker
 

Please bear with me... I'm having a "moment" here

I gained 20 pounds. 2 weeks ago I weighed 155 pounds.

And as much as I would like to blame it on everything else, I know I am the only one at fault.

I got lazy.

I made excuses.

I went on autopilot.

But mostly I made excuses (which is my BIGGEST pet peeve)

I maintained a perfectly reasonable weight of 140-145 for 4 years (usually around 140). I was in excellent shape. I fit into every size 8 (and even a 6 here and there). My body fat hovered around 20%.

But something happened (enter autopilot, laziness, complacency, and excuses) and I gave up. I allowed myself to not be responsible for my decisions and now I'm feeling the consequences.

I fit into exactly 2 pairs of pants.

I got out of running shape and am back to square one.

I'm lethargic

I HATE being photographed (and this is something I haven't felt in YEARS).

People are talking.

So I'm bringing back the ticker. It's time to assess the damage and put it out there for all of you to see. I've worked my way up to 6 minutes straight of running (I'm never ever ever getting out of running shape again). I'm down 4 pounds. I'm taking back control over the bad choices that got me into this mess. I've realized that every decision I have regarding food choices is my decision.

This maintainer is getting a grip.

Your bravery for talking about this is really inspiring. You can do this. I think sometimes just putting something like this out there can be a motivator to get back on track. I can't wait to hear your updates, I know you will do great. I think after getting to goal/losing a lot of weight it can be easy to fall into a rut and not notice weight creeping back up, I know it has happened to me. I am proud of you for posting this and for getting back on track.

:cp: I'm proud of you for taking control of the situation. AND for posting what caused it! Vigilance is hard, and boring, and downright depressing sometimes - but OH, so necessary!

You GO girl!

JEN I will stick with ya....you know that ;)

Right now I can give you :hug: hugs and prayers :angel:

and a FREE entry into the :val2: I :val1: HEART :val1: YOU 5K :val2:

I have all a lot of faith in you! You are such a loooooser! ;)

Oh....and my daughter calls it "THE HONEYMOON 9" ;)

Hey Junebug - you are getting right back on track and it is awesome! Back in Sept I noticed I was almost 10 lbs up myself - just rationalizing "oh I can have this, oh I can have that" did it to me. It was amazing how much weight I could gain without being "bad" (I still stuck to all my big rules, I just let bites, nibbles, desserts and wine stack up).

Keep posting, stay accountable, keep running!

The Honeymoon 9! :lol:

I did marching band my freshman year and was spared the freshman 15. I guess it will always find ya, won't it?

Glory: It's simply amazing what rationalizations you can find for wine. "I went to the gym, so I earned half a bottle of pinot!" Yeah, right.

Thank you guys so much for the support. I think I may have needed it more than I realized. Liz, I really did have to take a big gulp and admit to myself what had happened. It was so easy to stick my head in the sand and pretend like I was kidding myself. I had to admit once again that my body is different and that I can't eat like everyone else whenever I want. I think Mandalinn's post a while back about resentment and frustration kinda woke me up to the fact that I just had to face it.

Glad you are back - you know what to do to be successful. It'll come right back off, don't worry!

:tantrum: I'm not ready :tantrum:

:lol: neither am I, Susan. Neither am I. That's why I just had to suck it up, hold my nose, and step on the scale every single morning.

Okay ... can I do it tomorrow morning after I weigh myself?

Yes. But can you weigh yourself the day after, too? I think that's what woke me up. I went back the maintainer rule of weighing everyday (and I know this doesn't go for everyone, but studies show, yada yada yada....). That meant no weighing when I "felt" skinny or weighing when I *knew* I would be down a couple of pounds (which meant that weighing was a very rare occurance).
I realized how truly out of touch I had gotten with my body when I was having to become aware of the fluctuations and what-not.

Yes, yes I can. I DO get into trouble when I don't weigh everyday.

Thank you for posting! Count me in as one who gained 20 pounds and is now determined to lose it. It's good to know I'm not alone. Though I'm sorry we're in this mess!

Relating to Gary's point, my husband said "It could have been 40 pounds" and it easily could have. I am glad to be back on track, eating better, and exercising more again. I like feeling like I'm in control.

Now, let's get it done!

Junebug - you go, girl!!!!
You inspire me - because you slipped a little and DIDN'T just write off success. You know what it is to be healthy and fit ... and now you have a very real advantage because you KNOW you can get back there. Best wishes and please keep us updated!

I changed my ticker because of this post. And I also got sick of looking at that 189 when I KNEW I wasn't anymore...I thought it would be inspiring for me but instead it depresses me.

Good luck! You've done it before and you can do it again!

Junebug you say you got lazy what do you mean by that? Did you start eating anything like fast food and stuff or did you still eat healthy but stopped watching portions? And you said to stopped running, was that the only exercise you did?

I just started and still got a long ways to go before I start even thinking about maintaining but posts like yours remind me that as hard is it is to lose it, it is easy to gain it back.

I admire you for realizing the train is off the track and jumping back in and taking control of your life before it's really out of hand. What you are doing is called "damage control"

I have no doubt at all you can lose it all again, you did it once and you can do it again!

Posts like your help because it reminds all of us who have not reached our goals yet how important it is that once we reach our goals to be ever vigilant and remember how easy it is to let the weight creep back on us all.

good luck I look forward to seeing you reach your goal again.

And beside... 20 pounds! I have to lose 140 pounds!
You already know what you need to do so like I said I KNOW you will be successful! Good Luck! :carrot:

Junbebug, thanks for posting this.

I don't know if this is the right thing to say or not, but I truly believe you "woke up" pretty quickly from your so called "laziness". And this is of course the key. 20 lbs? I'm so glad you decided to do something about it right this minute. I think we all know how quickly that 20 could have turned into 25. And then 30. Yup, you woke up just in time. I know for sure you'll be fitting into ALL of your pants shortly.

Laziness - I'm going to remember this word. Thanks again for posting. I'm excited to hear about your progress as you work your way back down. :hug:

I want to respond to 2 parts of your post.

1. I regained about 10 lbs by just getting lazy. I still kept to my big "nos" - no fast food, no sugary soda, no fried foods, I just kind of stopped measuring my portions and let my treat meals kind of get out of hand. Then, my step father died and I spent nearly a month in Texas and without a car, it was VERY hard to stay on plan (and to be fair, the first couple of weeks I didn't try that hard, managing my weight was far down on my lists of concerns).

2. You should start thinking about maintaining right now :) Seriously!!! It is never too early to start thinking "I want to lose weight AND keep it off." The two goals should be of equal importance!

Thanks y'all :hug: I feel so blessed to have a resource like this. I really don't know where I would be! I have faith again that we can all get it done!

I realize laziness is a strong word, but it felt appropriate. I've been unemployed for the past 5 months and I do have a "lazier" lifestyle than I did before and it's quite frustrating. I also think that goes hand in hand with the excuses I've been making for myself and they aren't even worth stating because they are poor excuses (as excuses tend to be).

Man, I think back to when I was over 200 pounds and climbing to 220+ and losing 20 pounds would have seemed like a walk in the park! My, how times have changed! On my former frame, 20 pounds would feel like a couple of carrot sticks. After maintaining for 4 years, it feels like the weight of the world. Talk about a shift in perspective. I'm starting to dislike the feeling of my own skin again and that is not good.

I'm gald this post has helped some of you. I think taking a few weeks of getting on the scale every single morning gave me back some of my control over the situation. The scale didn't move until just this week, but I could no longer pretend what was going on wasn't happening in front of my face. I had to open my eyes.

I've had "skids" before. I've gained 10 pounds and it freaks me out enough to lose them just as fast as I gained them.

This time was different. I can't explain it. I can blame it on lots of things (my wedding in August, not having a job, etc...) but I really just gave up. I started to prioritize differently- and not any better. I know inherently it is always my decision, but I went on "autopilot" in regards to my eating- going to the store for junk food every night. Eating take out most nights. Eating things that I KNOW I'm sensitive to and not caring (pasta, rice, bread everday). I don't eat fast food because I just...don't. But I did reward myself with half a bottle of wine over the dumbest things.

I stopped running. I did go to the gym- sporadically. I would go 4 days in a row only to not go at all the following week. This just doesn't work for me. I NEED exercise MOST days. This is just the way it is. And with running, there's just something about it that keeps me "on track". I work harder when I'm running. I'm more motivated. Maintaining is just easier when I run.

I simply let go of my variables. I think in maintaining, everyone needs to figure out what their variables are. If you can sort that all out before you get to that point as Glory said, you really are a leg up on the game.

Oh Junebug....how i can empethize(sp??) with you. I too had reached my goal and was doing so well only to get "lazy" and gain back 24 pounds. For awhile it was only like 4 pounds, and i could live with that...but somehow it crept up and i just didn't seem to realize it until one day i really noticed..."my pants don't fasten as easily as they used to...they're really tight". And i DID NOT want to step on that scale and see what i weighed. The last time i did that i was 138....but i did it and what a shock....158!!!!! So...here i am...going back to the lifestyle that got me feeling so great about myself. Back to my 1200 calorie days instead of however many calorie days i was having. And no...it wasn't all fast food that did it but rather cooking that "good ol' down home cooking" food for the family. Well...family...watch out...there are healthier foods hitting the tables these days!!!

Junebug...i look forward to watching both of our tickers going back down to where they should be at.

I relate SO MUCH to this post! About 18 months ago, I weighed in the high 130s. As of about 2 weeks ago, I was up to 158. Wow. What a wake up call. I avoided the scale for the most part (or denied what I saw there), virtually brought exercise to a standstill, and ate and drank through the holidays. Oh, and I had LOTS of EXCUSES (none of them good), the main one being "I'm so busy!" Well, I FINALLY feel that I have taken the control back, and it feels so good. I updated the ticker too.

Barbara - I haven't seen her on 3FC in forever - had a great byline: "Constant Vigilance." I remember a time when I thought, "wow, it would stink to have to constantly be fixated on what I drink/eat," but the reality is that for me CONSTANT VIGILANCE is necessary. Yes, small lapses are ok, treats are ok, but 3-5 months of throwing all caution to the wind, gets me right where I don't want to be - like you, with 2 pairs of pants that fit, feeling lethargic, and all the rest.

Thanks for sharing this honest and important post, Junebug. MANY of us can relate!

Thanks for posting junebug, because the whole thread is very inspiring and helpful.

Very nice summary. I think that's what I'm in right now. I'm not gaining, just losing slower and slower. That is so easy to rationalize, because you expect it to slow down at the end. But I also know I'm "letting go of my variables"!

That's it. Right there. It may "stink" to have to be constantly fixated on what I drink/eat, but it "stinks" a whole lot LESS then then the alternative.

Reminds me of that "choose your hard" quote, we use so often here at 3FC. Just change out hard for stink. Choose your "stink".

Jen -
It is easy to get a little more lax with your rules when you have a lot of time on your hands - I would imagine that you are a little down over being unemployed, which makes you less likely to want to work out and really track the food intake. I'm sorry that you have found yourself here, and really glad that you caught up with it before it got any farther than 20 pounds!

You can absolutely get back down. I have no doubt about that at all. :hug:

Hey Junebug,

Kudos to you for nippin it in the bud now before it escalated even further.

You know the routine, you've done it before, you can certainly do it again!

Weight loss is a bumpy boat ride for many, as is maintenance, sometimes people fall overboard into the choppy waters of life! But hey, you gotta keep bobbing along, life happens & you're worth the effort. I think the majority will probably hit the rough seas at some point in their life, smooth sailing is not an everyday occurence for a lot of people or so it seems. Just remember you have plenty of anchors here to help you stay afloat! Best of luck, you CAN do this AGAIN!

:hug: Junebug.

In your honor, I'm changing the weight in my profile to reflect reality (and my current 8 lbs above goal).

Perhaps you will inspire a bout of maintenance honesty and we can all start working back down to where we've been saying we are...

Good thread! Thanks for sharing!
I, too, put back on the 15 pounds I had lost. Then, just last week, I was sick and put on a couple more. GAH!

But your thread provides inspiration! Thanks!

Thanks for sharing your story! I remember at one point I lost 17lbs, and then all of a sudden i had it all back... And then some! Now I'm sitting here thinking, "What was I doing!?"

I did exactly the same thing. I rationalized my redeveloping bad habits and ignored the scale. Now I'm... Halfway back on the wagon. I'm paying more attention to what I'm eating, but I haven't started back on the excercise. I'm starting school on Wednesday and my first class of the day two days a week is going to be swimming, so that'll get me started again.

You lost the weight before, I'm sure you can do it again!

LOVE this phrase. I think this, along with support are 2 major factors in maintenance.

I've been thinking about what Robin said earlier about catching it before 20 pounds turned into 25 and 30 and so on.... For the first time since I lost this weight I actually saw myself gaining all of it back and that scared me to death. I've been settling into the reality- that I gained a chunk of this weight, but I still consider myself successful in a lot of ways in regards to weightloss and I can't forget that, either.

I've been going through this thread throughout the day and I can't tell you enough how invaluable this support is. I just can't.

Hey, girl!!

I know you can do this! Sounds like a lot of us need to buckle down and get back to basics. I was out of town this weekend and I would rate my food choices a D. Off plan from Friday night through---ummm.....dinner tonight. Argh!

My goal is for super clean eats this week and some great exercise. How 'bout you?

I, however, have every intention of avoiding the scale in the morning. I do NOT need to see the water weight. It would be too depressing.