I've said it before and I'll say it again, you really have to wrap yourself around the decision to lose weight before you'll be successful. Right now I'm in a position where I need to re-lose a few pounds that have snuck up on me over the past two years. But I know I'm not 100% committed to doing it. I really have to sit down and formulate a plan and then dedicate myself to doing it, and then I'll be successful.

You mentioned that your DW wants to be able to have a workout partner. I really felt the same way for a while until I actually got my DH to go running with me and it was actually a bit of a detriment. Basically he slowed me down. I also tried to get him to join the gym with me so I didn't have to go alone. I'm glad he didn't--then it would mean motivating two of us to go!

Right now, DH and I both have a regularly scheduled workout. We have our own machines (he uses a NordicTrack ski machine and I have a treadmill). We could work out together, but it doesn't work out that way. I get up at 4:30 and he gets up at 5:30. It actually works better for us. We do still walk the dogs together when the weather is nice.

I understand that you are happy with her appearance and are just trying to be supportive so you can do this together. I just think it is good to keep in mind how it might sound to her. - When it is you talking about her I can see what you mean but you know, when it is MY DH talking about ME and my body, it sounds a lot different, even if he is saying the same thing you are. If that makes any sense at all!


I understand the psychology of the number moving down on the scale. But, I think it is important to keep in mind that lean muscle mass, while it is heavier, it is a healthy weight. That is why many people, as you said, choose to use a tape measure too. Some people ONLY use a tape measure or the feel of their clothes. That lean muscle will also burn more calories at rest than it's pounds of fat counterpart so it is definitely beneficial to hang on to it!

How about Wii Fit if you can get one? There's supposed to be a work-out from the Biggest Loser trainer, Jillian Michaels, with competive challenges. Oh and how about ballroom dancing lessons..a few stars came on Dancing with the Stars and lost weight because of the increase in exercize and the awareness of the body. Walking is a great exercize too......and having a buddy to talk with makes the time fly by.

Just some ideas.......the New Year is a great time to begin.

thinkerbell

I would suggest leading by example and let your wife join in if she wants to.

I have this nasty habit of not liking to be told what to do. So even if it's a great idea, and my husband had only the best intentions ... if I thought he was trying to make me exercise or eat healthier, I would resist. However, if my husband started jogging or working out, I would probably join him.

My husband's the same way. If I try to get him to eat healthy, he gets all stubborn. If it's his idea, then he's totally on board.

Humans are irrational

Actually, you didn't sound like an idiot, you sounded like a nice guy...which is why I took the time to write you such a long and detailed post.

Just keep posting and we will do the best we can to help you if we can.

As far as the strength training thing goes. Strength training does not make you bulk up, even big guys (My husband is built similarly to you...broad shoulders, big legs, wide chest...not too much belly) as long as you don't go overboard with it, and don't lift heavy weights. It will, however, keep your metabolism up 24/7 as you increase your lean muscle mass as opposed to cardio that mostly gives you benefits just during the time you are doing it.

Good luck!

It's funny you mention that. I got the wife a Wii Fit for Christmas. She mentioned it several times after seeing it / hearing about it. And since there are other things under the tree, I figured she'd be surprised.

Until the other day I found where my Wife and son were searching google to see "how much a wii fit weighs"...so much for a surprise.

lol- my DH surprised me with a Wii Fit after I came back from vacation- I thought he had gotten me a fancy scale. At least it does that too!

the thing is, I have been blessed with a very high metabolism. It's just now started to slow down on me. I coach several sports, so during the warm months I'm constantly on the go, and that helps. But something in my genetic make-up, causes me to pack on muscle weight when working out.

In fact I have a buddy who gripes at me all the time, because he struggles to eat enough and workout so he can gain weight.

I know that "muscle weighs more than fat" and I understand that having more muscle actually burns fat, as muscle requires more calories to survive. I just want to lean out...so I've got to concentrate on cardio and high reps / low weight.

The other thing is I know how easily muscle weight can turn to fat when something happens where you can't keep working out (like an injury). I weighed 247lbs when I graduated High School and my body fat was probably HALF what it is now.

there is a new gym opening very close to us, and my wife has mentioned joining it, several times. I'm trying to contact them now. My son is at the age where he wants to workout as well. I've been avoiding that with him until now, because he was so active, he had trouble gaining / keeping weight. Now he's started to fill out, and at 12 years old he's 5'2" and about 105lbs. I'm going to start doing sit ups, push ups and body resistance exercises with him, since he's been bugging me about it.

Personally I need some type of DVD / workout program that is high on cardio, since my knees and feet just can't take the abuse of running constantly (as in a mile or two a day)..the result of years of playing competitive sports and 5 years in the Army.

That is so sweet of you wanting to help your wife. But I agree with the chicks above. It can be bad interpreted by her or don’t have any effect on her, since she wasn’t the one who had the initiative.
My suggestion: Why don’t you start a program (elaborate one that is best for you) and tell her what you are doing. Maybe after watching you and seeing your results it will motivate her to step in with you. Tell her too about this website, that you are coming here and are finding lots of support (which is true), so she can do the same too and find the before/after pics herself.
I wish you best of luck and will be waiting for your future posts

My thoughts on before and after pictures. I think it is more of a motivation when you read an inspiring story. I mean pictures are pictures and yes we all get jazzed up by them, but I personally get a lot of inspiration from stories. What did someone go through? What kind of struggles did they go through? Etc...

Sharing an inspiring story isn't like saying "here look at these pictures" is my point. You both can then discuss said story and that really opens up the topic in a positive way, my opinion though.

I think when you look at weight loss as in "well I only need to loose this much" you can actually sabotage yourself. If you find that "just 30 pounds" is harder to get off of you than you originally thought it can be discouraging.

Why not focus on a change of lifestyle? Simple changes can really make a difference...

personally, i have found the before/after pictures and stories on here VERY inspiring. i am trying to lose about 30 pounds, which seemed like such an impossible amount that i felt discouraged from even trying. then i found this site, and realized that i need to get off my butt, commit to the lifestyle changes and IT WILL HAPPEN!

it doesn't sound to me like you are being pushy with your wife, though she might be especially sensitive to this issue. if you are convinced that the pictures and stories will help motivate her, perhaps you could show her some that are particularly motivating to YOU, and frame it as such. (not, here, honey, these might inspire you, but "wow, honey, I wasnt sure I could do this, but this person's story showed me that it is possible!") because you need support, too!!!

i agree with jacquie that the stories are the most motivating and empowering, because no one here lost weight by magic. they have done it by changing their lifestyle, sticking to it, overcoming setbacks and being honest with themselves.

good luck and i look forward to losing weight with you! i'd like to get in a bikini this summer, too!

OK by now you've prolly already found the Goal Photo Album, right?

As for putting a time frame on losses...I avoid it. Also - keep in mind, you can probably lose faster than your wife...so you need to be careful not to make it a competition.