Totally agree with Jay. Whatever the problem is with the guy that you like, you've convinced yourself that your weight is the issue. But you already know that. I think your self esteem has taken a battering, you could do with revitalising it, and counselling would be a good way to kick that off.

Counselling may sound a bit drastic, but a sympathetic, empathetic ear can do wonders for you.

Mini-rant about mindsets in regards to counseling/therapy:

Why is it that counseling is seen as "drastic" by so many?

I know a lot of people feel that way, and I wish it were not so.

We work out, eat well, and try new things (exercises, foods) to get and stay physically fit, realizing that our bodies need to approach things from many ways to see results...Why not do the same for our minds?

Honestly, what's "drastic" is ignoring issues or refusing to address them in a healthy, productive manner.

I guess that fear of counselling is simply fear of the unknown. The evry word 'counselling' can conjure up images of a broken mind and a total failure in life for those who have not experinced it.

The irony is that almost everyone who gets some good quality counselling takes away something positive from it.

My master's degree is in developmental psychology, not counseling, and maybe it's my background, but I've gone to counseling several times in my life. I don't consider it drastic at all, in fact I think I've always been psychologically and emotionally strong. But there were times when I faced challenges and thought, "I'm not sure I know how to cope with this, or make this decision on my own, or how to feel about this, or how to stop feeling like this). And yet I wanted a truly objective viewpoint, not something a friend or relative might say to make me feel better - I wanted the TRUTH.

Counseling is great. For those who grew up Catholic, you know that feeling of fear going in and relief you get after you leave the confesional? That was the feeling I had going in and coming out of my first session, but the rest were like talking to a really good friend, one you had full confidence would NEVER in a million years tell anyone your "secrets".

Unlike a friend, a counselor isn't usually going to try to calm you down from a rant. You can go on as long and as hard as you need to. You don't have to worry about a counselor thinking you're "weird," because they have seen the weirdest.

I think we should all grow up having a family counselor, the way they have a family doctor.

I get great counseling right her at 3FC!

Just as I think VIKKIVMA is getting here

My advice, since I really don't know how all the players in this 4-some are playing their cards, is to take it slow, day by day, and wait for good things to happen.

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I understand your pain. It seems as if everybody else knows better and the "fat friend" should never have romantic feelings.... But that is WRONG!

I refer to 3fc as a therapist who is available 24/7.

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