I think this is the bottom line. Unfortunatly sometimes we (myself included) forget how a simple word[s] of encouragement mean to someone. Also, sometimes if someone has never struggled with their weight they are not very sympathetic to those of us that do. Find a new doctor and when you do, tell your old one why you left. I am sure she doesn't even realize you were so upset by her comments.

You have lost 15 pounds AND 3 inches off your waist!

I have to say that I love two of my doctors, who really seem to completely understand how difficult weight loss is. My neurologist asked that I lose 10 lbs in the six months til my next apointment. Hah, I thought I can do that standing on my head, although it didn't turn out that way, I did lose more than the 10 lbs he had asked for - and he practically threw me a blippin' party when he read my chart.

My primarly care doctor encourages the weight loss, but acknowledged how difficult it is, and really praises small improvements that might seem ridiculous to someone not savvy of the situation. Like when he signed the releases for my husband and I for the warm water therapy pool in our area, and when we bought bicycles.

A little encouragement does go a long way.

Interesting. I had the same thing happen a few visits ago. I hadn't went to my lady doctor in a while because of it. she just popped up one day and said "You need to lose weight". I said "I really am trying" and she snapped at me "Fine. wait until you're diabetic and they make you". I was shocked. I left her office. I even quit my birth control because I didn't want to face her. Geez.
Course, somewhere in there I gained a lot of weight, by denial , so I wasn't trying THAT hard, but still....

Thank you. You're right. And... that 15 lbs. and 3" is just since starting Bistro MD 12 weeks ago! I actually weighed 240 lbs. when I last saw the doc, so that's like 30 lbs. down, all told. :\ Ah well... I'm celebrating EVERY bit of it! So thank you for reminding me that that really is the bottom line. That, and that the words of encouragement are so valuable. So true.

Amen! I love that. It sounds like your doc is really supportive and encouraging, which is a bonus. How wonderful to both steer patients in the right direction *and* express encouragement over the work in the right direction that has already happened. Yes!! That's not too much to ask.

OMG!!!!! That's atrocious!!!!!!!! Wow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bless your heart!

Hey, you have nothing to feel but PRIDE in all your efforts on your own behalf. If the doc didn't get it, pfffft! too bad, but it takes NOTHING away from you!

Doctors are just people. They have good days and bad days, they get cross, they get overworked, they get forgetful... and every day they see dozens of people who could improve their lives and their health if they would just make some lifestyle changes. Do they make those changes? Most of the time--No! And so sometimes doctors lose hope. They've heard it all.

I do think your doctor was harsh under the circumstances. I don't think you should have used that to hit the snacks.......... Me, I'd like to think I'd get an "I'll show her" attitude and hit the gym! But, I don't know that I would.

You hang in there! Don't let some doc in a white coat dictate your mood! You have more important things to do!

Jay

Can I shrink you down, put you on my shoulder, and carry you around with me to whisper in my ear (or cheer loudly or poke me) to do things like choose the gym for "I'll show you" moments, rather than the chips and dips?

You're right. And thank you. Very much.

i'd get a new doctor and i'd tell her why.

Many great physicians have a real problem with being compassionate caregivers. By saying "great physician", I mean they are smart, on top of new medicine, good at diagnosing problems, and if I was really sick, I would want their expertise. You didn't mention if this doctor is your primary care doctor or not. If so, I would definitely find someone more supportive. If you only for once a year for a pelvic exam and have another doctor that you trust for regular stuff, you might just put up with her. On the other hand, why give her your business? You can find better. I am a nurse and I see a lot of docs who are jerks to us and to their patients. Some I would recommend if I was critically ill cuz they'd save your life. But I wouldn't want to see them on a regular basis. Your doctor should have praised you for making positive lifestyle changes!

Thank you. I'm actually kind of looking forward to being back there in a year... 50 pounds lighter. (I'm so sick and twisted!!)

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I guess the moral of the story here is that I can reward myself--and feel rewarded HERE, with you wonderful people--for having made good changes. And she's someone I won't see for another year and to let her take up this much "space" in my "energy" is just ridiculous.

Thank you, everyone. This has been very helpful and I do appreciate you ALL for letting me vent, giving me perspective, and sharing your experiences too!! Let's dance!!

Unfortunately there are no classes on "bedside manner" (or manners in general) in medical school. It's been my experience that more often then not doctors aren't the best at putting things in a kind way. Maybe it's the type of personality that can handle the rigeurs of medical training?

I think that photochick is correct in that being more specific might have defused the situation. I'm not saying that this excuses your doctor from being rude, but we can only control what we say in situations like that. Telling someone that you've lost 25 lbs in 3 years and are actively working on it doesn't necessarily instill confidence. Saying that you've lost 25lbs in 6 months (as an example) by eating less and exercising shows that are focused on it and really actively losing weight.

I do think it would have been best had she acknowledged your loss in a positive way, but like I said, doctors aren't taught people skills in medical school.

The ironic thing is, we DID learn those things in my holistic health and massage college! Not only did we have a focused module on that subject exactly, but it was woven in as a thread throughout all we did. Additionally, we had a month long nutrition module! Oh, the irony.

Yes, I also told her that it was an "active weight loss" plan I was in the midst of. Yeah, it's way cool that I've lost 25 lbs. in the three years since she last saw me, but as my ticker indicates--and as I told her in the room--it's the NOW that is the active weightloss happening. 15 lbs. in 12 weeks. Steady and cool. And with great blood pressure to boot!!!!!

And in the end, that's it. They have to deal with some REALLY heavy stuff, so the fact that they have a little gruff edge to them doesn't mean they don't love their patients. They really do have to put up with a lot of BS and a lot of horrific pain too, which means detachment is important. I'm just saying that somewhere between the idea that "this is wrong" and "you deserved this" is a happy medium of, "Hey, good work so far. Keep it up. And how can I help you do that?"