[Justwant2Bhealthy]

I agree with FAERIE ... EM ... sending some hugs your way too!

Believe it or not, many others do the same thing; eat too much and then try to rectify it by over-exercising or other means ... I did this one day last week and this week as well; but, I know that one day will not ruin the week, any more that one week ruins the month, or one month ruins an entire year. You would have to repeat this three and a half times just to gain one pound.

You sound like you have self-esteem issues as well. I have read many of your other posts, and you do have a life! You are a student with a nice boyfriend and a good family; and you have some good friends. Did you ever pursue your dream of acting, EMILY? Do you have any local theater or acting clubs that you could join and give some of your time and attention to while you develop your acting skills?

Have you ever considered doing some volunteer work? Now I know that you know why I am suggesting this ... cuz there is nothing else like helping others that helps us to heal! It fills in time, keeps us busy, helps others, and help us! It could be something that you love personally; like working with kids, the homeless, the poor and hungry (at a food bank), at a drama club or at an arts school, a nursing home or a hospice, and so on ...

Tomorrow will be better, and just keep up your regular exercising routine and that will help offset the mistakes. I also hope that in time, you will come to realize what a lovely, talented, and important person you are ...

You are here for a reason; you have a destiny; keep looking until you find it, Emily ...

[CousinRockingChair]

The boyfriend didnt even end it with me face to face or over the phone or even by text, I had to figure it out myself, after 2 years, GONE, ALL OVER...

This was a month ago though and I realise he was an idiot.

I got a new boyfriend, but I guess hes an ex too, cos he suddenly stopped calling...I left a polite *Where Are You* message on his ansaphone, nope, nada..and nothings *happened* to him because I asked a mutual friend, etc.

I've done voluntary work in the past, I may try and do so again

I did join 2 drama groups - one local/amateur and one at a major local theatre. Both were very very cliquey and DID nothing..seriously, 50% of time was spent gossiping and swapping in-jokes, I felt THIS big!

thank you for all support

Emily
xxx

[OptimistK]

Originally Posted by Sharkysmachine

I find people who are very insecure to be kind of dangerous to me because the way in which their insecurities manifest might be negative and possibly scary.

I totally agree with you there. I know someone who is very insecure with themselves and tries to compete with people in every aspect of life. It's like they can't be without something or can't be the one who doesn't have the best. It's all very stupid, frustrating and very distrubing.

I was never raised to be jealous of others I was always told to appreciate what I have, congratulate others for what they accomplish and know that I can't have everything. I've always heard how beautiful I am from numerous people, but even their comments don't validate how I feel about myself because I truly and honestly feel that way about myself despite others' comments, inside and out.

Yes everyone may be self-concious every now and then, but insecurity I think is a more severe long-term issue.

[OptimistK]

Hmmm...reading over more of the posts, I don't think all people are insecure. We all have self-doubts, but day in and day out, I don't think most people pick apart everything they don't like about themselves. Or maybe I'm just concieted, heard that a few times too, lol.

However, I certainly don't believe that.

[wifey bullseye]

all throughout middle, high, college, after college, now...i have always had skinny friends - i was the chunky friend. mom says thats because the skinny girls were so insecure themselves that they needed to be around a 'fat girl' to make themselves feel better. sometimes, i believe that; other times i dont. i often wonder if i had skinny friends to feed my own insecurities... i hide it really well though behind a t.v. perfect personality- there arent a whole lot of people that know how i truly feel.

my husband tells me i'm beautiful and that he loves me just the way i am. i dont always believe that. i guess it depends on what lie the scale just told me.

do i like the way i am - no. do i do anything about it - not really. maybe it just gives me something to talk about...my badge of honor - the chunky girl with the great personality.

(no dancing carrots this post.)

[NightengaleShane]

The more I think about it, the more I realized how much I waver between self confidence and insecurity. Most of my insecurity is purely physical, as I have a good sense of self, a set of developed viewpoints, and a friendly personality. Physically, I think there is so much wrong with me... though I know a large portion of this comes from being picked on incessantly until around the age of 15 (that's when I "got hot" and suddenly became loved ).

Emily - joining something just to find out everyone is SO clique-y is the worst! Events like that have happened to me several times here. Wanting to go out and make friends sure can get difficult when they don't even care to know you! I think in a way, you and I are kindred spirits: we are both currently at normal weights (but we still think we are fat and probably always will...oops!), we both are reasonably attractive people but often find ourselves ugly anyway, and we've both had our boughts with eating disorders.

wifey bullseye - I have noticed that a lot of chunky girls really DO have great personalities, and that fat/chunky people often make very entertaining company! A chunky friend of mine once told me that she is afraid no one will like her if she isn't a whole lot of fun, since (she believes) she doesn't have much going on looks wise.

I've gone out of my way to be fun, funny, and the overall life of the party... this has been true for me no matter WHAT weight! At 125 pounds and a size 4, I *still* made an effort to be someone people wanted to hang out with and never took it for granted that I'd have plenty of friends just because I was thin and I never picked friends based on looks.