One day, I woke up and decided I wanted to try being fat for a change... :nose:

Seriously? Depression: financial stress (aka being really broke and having a credit score in the toilet), working all the time, moving to a town that I grew to hate, lack of a social life (and I was VERY social back up in the DC area, but I didn't make many -if any- friends down here), and relationship problems all caused me to gain around 50 pounds in 6 months :barf:

I wasn't huge or anything, but I definitely looked chunky and was actually somewhat unhealthy at that weight. Some people at 5'7" and 175 may not feel nearly as disgusting as I did.

I'm happy now. I've experienced a complete attitude adjustment since I lost weight! :carrot:

Everyone around me is extremely supportive, and only want to see me succeed. Over the course of many years, I have been looking at my relationships, making changes within myself and setting healthy boundaries. The ones that didn't like the new rules fell away. Now, there are still some family members that could be considered toxic, but I have severely limited my interactions with them, and don't let any of their negativity or manipulations fly at all.

My life is a lot more fulfilling a pleasant now. I valued myself enough to surround myself with positive and supportive people. Now I value myself enough to prioritize my health. It's all a process, and so many aspects of life are tied in together.

All that being said: I'M DOWN 45 LBS and not one of my supporters has said a word. I'm attributing this to a) 45 lbs off of a 300+ lb body isn't that noticeable and b) my weight has been such a sore spot that my friends are afraid to say the wrong thing. It's not always jealousy or negative reasons for silence.

It's all good, and I feel 100% better than I used to. I can't wait for compliments, but on my good and strong days I know that I'm doing this for myself and don't NEED the compliments. On other days I'm really sad about not getting any yet!

WELL SINCE POSTING LAST:

A friend of mine from high school saw me and the first thing she said was "how have you lost so much"... we were dear friends in school, both use to be "hot chicks", both got married had a kid ( her 3) and our bodies changed.

But last night in our county they had trick or treat... not tonight.... and i didnt go half dressed.... im not at goal or crazy.... but i do look so much better.... i wore a witch outfit that was flattering to it.....i didnt paint my self green, did kinda of a goth thing, but a pretty goth. but it still hid the fat i had, but had a tighter waist to show ive lost...... well i had 2 men eye ball me , i think one yelled something, ( hey baby), i had a few skinny girls look at me with their noses curled.....( i have to say i made a good witch, i have natural long black hair) we ran into a bunch of my husbands friends.... one didnt realize it was me and was talking to my hubby and as i walked up to them arcoss a parking lot my husband said he stopped talking to stare at me.... HEEHEE.... i dont want another man in no way... but nice to see someone noticed im alive!

and to top it all off..... a girl i know that was fat and lost weight while i was pregnant ( still me pregnat was skinner then her) she got all cocky and said something horrible to my hubby when i wasnt around.... "im so skinny now youll leave her and "f" me" ... we it was took care of at the moment.... but being pregnent was the begining of being fat.... and i lost a 8 year battle with it....

last night i saw the girl..... well i glimpced at her... she was gawking at me as she sat in her car! She gained all her weight back and then some since she said that to my hubby. If all those guys, my friend from school, and the chinese waitress, all noticed... then i know SHE DID!

I know that is awful of me.... i should be a bigger person then that.... but dag on it.... IT FELT GOOD!

It was all encouragment to keep going!!!

Yay Lendingheart on turning heads!

Nightengale, you can both be the thin one! :)

I agree with the surround yourself with positive people points people have made. When I changed jobs, that was something I specifically looked for. Not only has it been supportive/conducive to my weight loss, it's improved my outlook on life in other areas too.