At work the other night, one of my co-workers came up to me and told me I looked good and that she noticed I've lost a lot of weight. I was surprised for the compliment given the fact that I had not been on my diet since back from my vacation (3 weeks) and I been feeling crappy about myself. It was a good pick me up.

However, the question that came next kind of irritated me a bit, despite the compliment. It was " How much have you lost?" then the "How much did you weigh before?" I don't know but I felt that was kind of rude to ask. I mean ,I answered it honestly but still its not something I would have liked to share.

How do you avoid a rude follow up question like that?

I answer generally. Like oh I am halfway to my goal or something like that. If they press further, I just say I'd rather not discuss it, it's personal.

You are right - unless the co-worker is also a close friend, that is a pretty personal question to ask someone.

I would probably have quipped back something like - "What did I used to weigh? Well, only my scale knows for sure - and I have bribed it not to tell anyone. But thanks again for noticing my weight loss - you made my day!"

Nobody but my GYN and her nurse know what I weigh, and thanks to the new medical privacy law, nobody else ever will. Some questions are just inappropriate, one is asking a woman's weight, and another is asking her age. I don't care if I come off rude. I just refuse to answer.

I'd just say "thanks for noticing" and walk away.

its not as if she meant to be rude, she just didnt realise that asking that isn't a good move. I would probably ask that question and think nothing of it.. maybe....im not sure.

Hey! First of all, good for you for losing weight and being noticed!

Second, when someone asks me how much I've lost, I say something like, "Oh, around 40 pounds." That's the end of the discussion. I've never had anyone ask me how much I weighed before I lost the weight, but if someone did, I'd say "That's personal, sorry." I'd say it with a smile. But that would be the end of the conversation.

Keep in mind that some people will ask anything--they are just that gutsy. That doesn't mean we have to answer. All you have to say is, "I'd rather not get into that."

These days people ask and tell too much. You'd think life was some kind of TV show! It's really just gossip material.

Jay

I agree w/ everybody here. Congrats on the weightloss and the weight question to me is a very personal question as well. I would have done what the others said, "Sorry that is personal." and smiled and walked on.

Actually, I think remarking on someone's weight loss at all involves a backhanded compliment. Sure they're saying you look good, but it implies that you used to look bad.

I like the Willy Wonka response: "Sorry, I'm slightly deaf in this ear. Next time speak up."

queennmab,

I don't quite agree, though. Sometimes people have simply noticed that one has lost weight--it's not saying you "looked bad." It may be implying you "looked fat," but that's no surprise, now, is it?

Jay

Just because someone asks a question does not require that we answer. If someone asks me how much I have lost I say something vague like "a little bit" or " enough" I do thank them for noticng, though. If they persist I might say " a woman who would tell her age or weight would tell anything"
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LOL, Witchy! That's a good one, find a way to evade the question.

I'd probably say "I'm too shy to share that information" or "I'm not comfortable discussing that at this point". If you wanted to reply rudely, you could say, "I lost 50 and I used to weigh 200. Now I've always wondered - how much money do you make, and what size bra do you wear?" LOL. I'd never say that, but it's fun to think about it.

Well, the weight issue, I could understand, but the age thing.... it doesn't seem to be "generally" offensive unless you're beyond your twenties, I'd believe. Reason being? I don't have a problem telling people I'm 22 because thats still relatively young, right?.

Though I personally, would never ask any woman age or weight questions because I'm not sure whether or not she would be comfortable answering it. However, if anyone ever asked me, I'm pretty sure I'd answer because 1) I'm comfortable with my weight and size, hopefully 2) never going to be ashamed of my age. Gosh, I sure hope that I'll be as gorgeous as my mother at age 50. (knock on wood!)

Actually no one has asked me how much I used to weigh but if they do I am going to answer them honestly and say 6 1/2 pounds.

I don't mind answering questions about my age or my weight. I figure, the only way to make middle age and average weight acceptable for women is if enough people own up to the truth. Other than on this forum or in some sports competitions, when was the last time you heard a woman admit -- let alone proudly -- that she weighed 150? Thanks to mass mediafication (my new word for the day, even though it isn't a word), 110 is the new 150.

However, a woman can be forgiven for killing you if you ask if she's pregnant. Especially if she's not.

Kim