I want to cry
I just broke up with my boyfriend of a year and I'm trying to get out there and meet new guys online. One of them asked me for a current full body picture and a friend took one for me, and I looked at it and was revolted.
I don't want to step on the scale now. I don't want to send this guy the picture either. It's not fair to ask him to meet me w/o him knowing how I look, but I can't face the idea of emailing these off.
I probably weigh about 210 lbs now (between a size 16 and a size 18) -- this time last year I was 175 (between a size 14 and a size 16). Even if I stay on points (WW) and exercise, I'm probably going to weigh around 190 by Christmas time.
It's funny -- I don't think of myself as unattractive unless I actually see a picture. I'm fine looking in mirrors, but seeing myself in a picture just ... gets to me.
Maybe because I have so many "skinny" pictures.
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