Weight Loss Support Give and get support here!

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Old 07-18-2007, 12:59 PM   #1  
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Default In Need of Support!

I have been dieting for the last 5 years. I lost sixty pounds and then gained 30 of it back. But it had a lot to do with life's stresses called work, family and financial problems. I belong to TOPS (weight loss support group) and that seems to help. But I guess I am looking for some more support. Here lately everytime my husband and I get into a disagreement about something he has to bring up my weight. I got very depressed for a couple months and stopped even trying to workout and eat healthy. Every once in a while I would eat healthy but didn't really care. I started working out again yesterday and have felt better about myself. Now if I can just get through this mind block that I have let myself get into and let my husband get me into I think I can succeed and lost weight. I was really woken up to my weight problem this morning when I had my 11 year old stepdaughter step on the scales this morning and she weighs 188. So I am going to have to step up to the plate and be a role model for her. Maybe that is the kick in the butt I need right now. I am just asking for a few internet buddies to help me through this tough time I am going through.
Thanks,
Kerry
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Old 07-18-2007, 01:10 PM   #2  
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That's pretty darn harsh to throw that in your face during an argument. Definitely not appropriate. But despite that, you can still get past it and lose the weight. If you ever want a kick in the booty, let me know!
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Old 07-18-2007, 01:12 PM   #3  
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My husband calls me fat when we fight too, only when he gets really mad. I know he does it to hurt me. I know how you feel
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Old 07-18-2007, 01:13 PM   #4  
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Old 07-18-2007, 01:25 PM   #5  
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Thanks Winterstarzz I will definitely let you know. I look forward to becoming friends with you.
Looks like you are doing a great job on your weight loss journey. Keep up the good work! How did you lose your 29 pounds?
A little more about me. I am 34 years old. I am a special needs teacher to 6th, 7th and 8th grade students. I have been married to my husband for 3 1/2 years. I am a stepmom to twin boys who are 9 and an 11 year old girl. My goal is to be below 200 pounds before school starts back in the beginning of September. Plus in my spare time I sell Avon. I enjoy spending time with my family and friends. Just need to find that balance again where I can socialize with people and not over indulge with eating junk and drinking either lots of beer or diet pop. I did it once when I started dieting and then hit several road blocks since then and let my mind play games with me. Not going to let that happen again.
My goals are to start eating healthier, watching my potion sizes better, drinking more water, unsweetened iced tea, and skim milk and working out atleast 30 to 60 minutes a day.
When I was posting regular on 3fatchicks I was losing the weight and feeling better about myself. So I guess I need to come back here for the support and guidance from others on a daily basis.
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Old 07-18-2007, 01:37 PM   #6  
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KAR73, glad to see you back again!

You can do it... you can avoid those high-calorie, sabotaging foods... you've done it before! And you can continue.

Jay
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Old 07-18-2007, 01:49 PM   #7  
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My marriage has definitely suffered because of my weight, as is evident just by the way my husband looks at me, and he also brings it up constantly. But you know what, I may be disappointed in him too if he had gained 100 lbs since we got married. I've finally decided to ignore it -- those are his issues, not mine. I did not intentially gain weight just to pi$$ him off!!

I actually find it easier to stay on track thinking of my kids and how this will help them as well. I have a son who is 7, a little overweight and I don't want to see him waste years of his life like I have. I've "recovered" from an eating disorder and am strugling but staying on track. I find exercising with me kids more enjoyable than the gym -- playing baseball, hiking, etc.

Good luck, you can and will do this -- your stepdaughter needs your support and I bet it will be easier for the two of you because you both understand the problems/struggles you will go through.
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Old 07-18-2007, 02:02 PM   #8  
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I thin being called fat is one of the worse thing u can hear especially when its what you think you are and you think everyone else is thinking the same.. I really hope you do well Kerry!
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Old 07-18-2007, 02:14 PM   #9  
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Thanks! I have done it by calorie counting and walking. Lots and lots of both, lol. Sometimes I become obsessive and think about it WAY too often, but it's becoming more "natural". Though I still find it quite challenging every single day.
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Old 07-18-2007, 06:37 PM   #10  
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Today has been a good day for me so far. I have watched what I ate and have drank lots of water and unsweetened iced tea. I had to take my stepdaughter to the store so she could buy a pair of dress shorts and flip-flops for her trip to the beach. We had a nice chat while we were out away from her dad and brothers about my concerns for her and myself where our weight is concerned. We made a promise that we would help each other through our weight loss journey. She said that she would like to lose about 50 pounds. I told her that I would like to lose about 100. So I think if I have her by my side then I should overcome the mental block I have built for myself and succeed.
Thanks for all your wonderful advice and support so far. I think I might have woke up my dh about his negative comments and the like after having to tell him this morning that his 11 year old daughter weighs 188 pounds now. That is only 40 lighter than I am.
I think instead of reaching for those high calorie food items I might just reach out for the computer keyboard and come chat with you all.
Hope you all had a wonderful day! Thanks for helping me get my life back on track today! I was really depressed all day yesterday and a little bit this morning. Then I remembered about 3fatchicks and decided to log in again. I am sure glad that I did.
Have a great evening! I think we are all going to go for a walk here in a little bit out at the local lake.
Kerry
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Old 07-18-2007, 06:43 PM   #11  
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That's so sweet that you have your step-daughter supporting you, and I think it is wonderful that you are stepping up and being concerned for not only yourself, but her health as well. I am sorry your husband brings up your weight in arguments. My dad would always throw that in my mom's face when they fought too. I think that is why she lost about 75 pounds when they divorced...kind of a payback of sorts LOL..I remember Saturday's with my dad, and dad saying " Your mom is looking good lately..She seeing anyone?" hehe.

So glad you are here, best of luck to you on this journey!
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Old 07-18-2007, 07:41 PM   #12  
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FIRST YOU HAVE TO DO THIS FOR YOU. Doing it for someone else or a special occasion never worked for me. It has also never worked for me to put a timeline on my weight loss. If the time came and I didn't reach my goal I thought of myself as a failure and stopped trying. I now lose 10 lbs at a time. Sometimes it takes me one month other times 2 months it doesn't matter the scale is going in the right direction.

Katrina gave you some great advice. Listen to it.
We hurt the ones we love most. Unfortunately that old saying is true.
You can do this and we are here.
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Old 07-18-2007, 08:29 PM   #13  
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Kerry,
My husband would end up with a black eye if he ever said anything about my weight.
What really helped me is not using a dinner plate I use a bread plate.After I finish that I wait for 20 minutes.If I am still hungry I drink a large glass of water.I only use 100 calorie packs and weight watchers snacks for treats.And I keep a food journal so I know what I am eating all the time and how many calories I am eating.When I get to a restrant I ask for a doggy bag before my dinner even gets to the table.I cut everything in half and take it home for another meal for the next day.If for some reason we eat fast food I get the kid's meals.My biggest problem is eating after 7pm.I always want something sweet.And I get the munchies but I am here and not eating so that is a real plus.
Good Luck!
Joyce
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Old 07-18-2007, 08:47 PM   #14  
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Joyce, your technique of waiting 20 minutes is a great one. I did that a few times, and it really works. I'd actually forgotten about it though until I read your post. Thanks for the reminder.

I don't mean to sound hokey, but as I was reading all these posts, I was thinking about what wonderful individuals are on this forum. I mean, working with special needs kids is a tough job, Kerry, and it takes a special person to do it. It makes me sad that so many people are disparaged about their weight when they possess so many other wonderful qualities.
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Old 07-19-2007, 08:18 AM   #15  
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Hi everyone,
Here goes for day number 3 of my lifestyle changes. I did it before and I am going to do it again. I just slipped off the bandwagon this past winter. I remember the day perfectly. My two bosses told me the day before Thanksgiving break, that I had to do 7 alternate assessments (an individual assessment of their skills, since they can't take the state's achievement test) on my 7 out of my 8 students. That I only had until the beginning of March to do this by too. So instead of working through my stress with excersing and mind excerises, I eat my way through it. Then after I finished that task up by the beginning of March, I had to write my student's Individual Education Plans for next school. After I completed that task, I had to pack up my entire classroom and send it off to the new school site. I am getting a new boss and coworkers come the fall. So there for 6 or 7 months I shyed away from excerising and eat healthly only maybe 30-50% of the time. But this time I am going to do it for me and not fall so hard off the bandwagon. I am not going to let my stress get in my way of reaching my goal weight. It should help that at my new school, I will be close to the high school and can walk the track on my lunch breaks when the weather is nice.
Katrina, thank you for telling me about that thread. I read all the posts yesterday. I had started to post a reply last night and was half way through with it when the hubby and stepkids were ready to go for a walk at the lake. So I couldn't stop and tell them to wait a few minutes on me. Since we haven't taken a walk together as a family for ages it seems. I am hoping that we will continue to do this to help my stepdaughter slowly start getting some excerise into her life again. Her mom and stepdad are big people. We spoke to her mom last year about our concerns for her last year and her mom got very mad about it. She said that we were picking on their daughter and she did not have a problem with food.So I am hoping that when she is at our house, we can instill in her the healthy eating habits and excerise habits and they will carry over with her when she is at her mom's house. In the last year she has packed on about 60 pounds. That is very unhealthly for a young girl like her. She is all the time talking about playing softball and basketball when she is in high school. She plays those sports now on our town's recreation league. But we are afaird if she doesn't take off some of her weight now, she will have a hard time trying out for the teams in high school.
Joyce I really like your idea off eating off a bread plate and waiting 20 minutes, then if hungry drinking the water. I am going to have to try that. Thanks for the tip.
I have been super hungry here the last two days. But I only eat the serving size for each meal. Then have a senisble snack of grapes in the early evening. Plus drink lots of water and iced tea. But I am not giving into my hungry pains when it is not time for a meal or a snack. I am going to work through them this time.
I hope you all have a wonderful day!
I plan on doing an excerise video once everyone is up for the day. I know that I can make it through day 3 with the support and guidance from all of you and my stepdaughter.
My dh keeps telling me that I will never reach my goal weight that my doctor and I have set for myself. That I have been trying for the last 5 or 6 years and I haven't came close. I have been down to 195 and then it is like I am either stuck there for a long time or as you can all tell gain some of the weight back. Before I was doing the dieting and excerising to stop him from saying hurtful things about me and to me. Plus so I can be there for my stepkids since their mom is so heavy that she doesn't even do anything with them. But now I know that I was going about it for all the wrong reasons. I guess I just needed to realize that for once I have to do something for myself and not put me on the back burner anymore. I am always seeing cute outfits in the Avon books that I would love to buy. So I think once I reach my first mini goal of being under 200 pounds, I am going to buy one of them for myself. Then when I get to 175, 150 and between 125 and 130 (which is my goal weight target), I will purchase myself other outfits from Avon.
Thanks again for all your encouragement and words of advice. I really appreciate them.
Kerry
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