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Old 06-15-2007, 08:04 AM   #1  
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Default Sabotaging ourselves?

I'm realizing things about myself I didn't know until I thought of it. I realize I'm more normal with food than I thought I was.

With intuitive eating I realize it takes 5 hours for me to be genuinely hungry. It doesn't take much to satisfy me.

I realize now that when I was eating whatever I wanted I always had reasons for why I was doing it. In my head, I was thinking, "Well...I'm too far gone. I'll never get there anyways. No one lives as me...No one can tell me how to live...No one is in my position...they don't understand..."

Constantly making up excuses for the amount of food I ate. And then I thought, maybe at some point, when we let ourselves go, we give permission to do that. And when we want to start taking care of ourselves we then have to take responsibility for ourselves, which seems almost like a hassle.

I think that I under estimate myself. I thought that because I was 250, eating 3 times as much as "normal people", that I couldn't be normal.

When I listen to my body, it takes in the amount that "normal people" eat. It takes in 3 meals throughout the day and it doesn't need much. I feel satisfied. I feel good. And the weight drops.

I think that because I keep making excuses, because I keep hearing that losing weight is hard, I keep MAKING it hard. Because I'm where I'm at now, I feel that I'm not normal, that I'm somehow different from the skinny girls and the pretty girls. But I'm not that different. I like to blame me eating 3 times as much on being what my body is used to, but when I make the pledge to follow a certain plan that is very common sense, why is it so easy to eat normally?

I'm in wonder because I'm now practicing the "normal" eating habits, and I'm losing weight. It's finally happening, and I find it very easy. I'm kind of astounded...and I feel that many people are making it more complicated than it really is. I know I was.

With time, with patience, and following a plan you can do everyday, the weight will surely go, and you just have to have the peace of mind and live with yourself and your decisions.

Be happy with the decisions you're making. Don't give in to yourself and start making excuses to mess up. That's how it's been for me.

I made dieting hard because every one tells me it is. I figured I wasn't normal because I kept telling myself I wasn't.

I feel kind of normal now, and I have confidence if I just keep on being aware of myself and to stop sabotaging myself, I'll get there.

And who cares if I don't lose each week? For me, the more I worried I was, the farther I got from where I wanted to be.

So...I guess what I'm trying to ask is, do you make up excuses to sabotage yourself? Do you underestimate yourself? Do you think you worry far to much about dieting, which in turn, makes you want to get farther from where you want be?
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Old 06-15-2007, 08:14 AM   #2  
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and I feel that many people are making it more complicated than it really is. I know I was.

With time, with patience, and following a plan you can do everyday, the weight will surely go, and you just have to have the peace of mind and live with yourself and your decisions.
I agree, the issues behind overeating or poor eating are complicated, but the solution and plan to weight loss isn't.

Time and patience, we live in a world of instant gratification and people are spoiled - they want results immediately or they give up, get frustrated. It's like you have to make peace with the fact it is a slow process and you will have to wait for it, just like everyone else who had success before you.
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Old 06-15-2007, 08:24 AM   #3  
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The unspoken rule in our culture is: You aren't having fun unless you're overdoing it.

How many "celebrations" are set up for overeating?

So yes, with that kind of message all around us, it's no wonder we come up with excuses to overeat.

Jay
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Old 06-15-2007, 08:56 AM   #4  
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I think everyone does that! Seriously. Like at work when its someone's birthday and we have cake. Its like "Well I don't want to make John feel bad by not having his cake...."! What an excuse! And I know it is, because I know that a simple "Happy Birthday John!" will suffice. They don't care if you eat the cake that someone else brought in to work to surprise them with

But yes, we all do it. Sometimes because we WANT that excuse. Other times, because we may want to sabotage ourselves. Maybe we are afraid of the "thinner self" that we are not used to. There are numerous reasons. You really have to look at yourself and say "I am doing this for me, to be a healthier and happier person" and decide whether or not the excuse is worth it!
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Old 06-15-2007, 09:16 AM   #5  
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I don't get the whole, "scared of my thinner self". I want run up, smack her on the butt, and give her a hug.

All crap aside, sometimes I just think we don't want to lose the weight as much as we'd like right now. Or maybe it's where we say, "I'll fix it tomorrow."
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Old 06-15-2007, 09:27 AM   #6  
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I have to disagree with being afraid to be thin...unless you were thin one time and had something really bad happen to you. But i think if you are trying to lose weight then you are not really afraid to be thin. But that's just my opinion. But I do agree with Jayell that in a world of instant gratification, we just don't have what it takes sometimes to realize that it is a slow process that you have really got to work at and have patience. Alot of us after a month of dieting and excersize only see one inch gone and figure this is useless. I am never going to be thin and then go out and ruin everything we worked so hard for that month. Getting fat was something we never noticed happening because it happened so gradually, we woke up one morning and finally our eyes saw it. We were FAT!!!! But now, we have to go the other direction and because we are focusing on it, it doesn't go as fast as it seemed to have come.

Gamerchick...I am so glad you are finding something that is working for you. That is just awesome!! I know that what I am doing is working for me. It's not hard, it just takes a little bit of planning and making sure I know all my calorie counts for what i eat. I don't really have days off but if i go over my calories for the day like i did last night, i just cut back the next day.
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Old 06-15-2007, 09:35 AM   #7  
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You're right... losing weight isn't hard, but I also kept MAKING it hard. I kept telling myself that I had to follow impossibly rigid guidelines to lose a single pound, because my weight has been stubborn in the past.

I kept having fantasies about losing weight ever since I gained so much, but felt like I was so far away from making them realities. I'd keep gaining and stray further and further away from where I wanted to be and felt like I was at the point of no return.

I think once you start losing weight and dedicate yourself to it, staying on track becomes much easier... especially when you see results!
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Old 06-15-2007, 10:07 AM   #8  
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I don't think I make up excuses to sabotage myself but I do think that worry far to much about dieting. That's why I want to get to the point to where I'm not CONSTANTLY thinking about food, whether it's a positive or negative thought. For me, planning, weighing, measuring, counting... that's putting too much thought into it - FOR ME. I have succeeded at weight loss before (several times) but my problem seems to be that once I reach my goal, I get all crazy & go back to old eating habits. The last time I lost weight, I was incredibly diligent about fruits & veggies, and rarely ate any beef or pork - just fish, chicken & turkey. I cut out all sweets and salty foods (read: no chips!) and I just pretty much ate when I felt like it & stopped when I was full, and I lost weight. I was in a particular mind frame then... and I don't know exactly HOW to get back to that "place". But that's what I'm aiming for.
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Old 06-15-2007, 11:37 AM   #9  
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Yep, the weight loss approach is quite simple - eat less & healthy, move more. However, the diet industry confuses the public (and benefits their profits) by dispensing all these complicated formulas, things to avoid and things to get more of, and notions of a "quick fix" with lofty scientific evidence to support them. As most of us here can attest, we didn't just wake up and become fat (though we may have woken up and just "found out" ), it was a gradual process -- losing it is not going to happen overnight either.

As for scared of the thinner self, I'm kind of going through that now (more mildly uncomfortable than scared, really)--I'm 20-30 pounds lighter than my high school & college years and of course, old friends I see notice-- but everytime they comment on how "great I look" instead of feeling proud for myself now, I get self-conscious about "was I really THAT fat back then?" But something it's something I'll work on mentally as I pave through those final pounds.

In any case, I'm happy that you finally found something that worked for you, Gamer -- I knew it has been a challenge for you the past couple of months. Keep it up!
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Old 06-15-2007, 12:19 PM   #10  
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I was in a particular mind frame then... and I don't know exactly HOW to get back to that "place".
That's the eternal question, isn't it? Why did we have the motivation at one time? Why do we lose it? How do we get it back?

I've had enough experience with dieting to know not to get too excited over most things. I realize that the honeymood phase usually passes, and you're left with the reality. If the reality is something that works well for you, then you're set.
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Old 06-15-2007, 12:22 PM   #11  
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Not everyone identifies with the "being scared of the thinner self". In fact, I don't. I'm just saying that this is one thing that can cause self-sabotage. I know some people who are afraid of their thinner self because maybe they have never been thin before and are afraid of the different ways people will treat them (and we have to be honest here - you DO get treated differently depending on your weight) or maybe they are afraid of loose skin and how that would look. Its just one of the reasons, for some people.
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Old 06-15-2007, 01:11 PM   #12  
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Meh. That's true. I was treated differently by my weight. People are so fickle at times. I understand being scared of your thinner self now.
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Old 06-15-2007, 02:43 PM   #13  
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I have to admit that I am one of those people who gets freaked out and stressed about my weight to the point where I sabotage myself because ...I don't even know why I just know that I do it. I have always been on the heavier side. About 7 years ago I peaked at 225 and got down to 175 just before my wedding without amuch freak out because I made significant lifestyle changes at a time where my working and school life supported them and there was little distraction. Following a car accident just over two years ago I gained 30 pounds and have been struggling to get it off. I am really not sure if it's teh unknow that is scary and realizing that other people will treat you and look at you differently (because let's face it that is completely true) or if its the stress and pressure that we put on ourselves to reach goals and standards within specific timeframes.

I am a little scared of what reaching my goal means. But when I think about it again now, I think that it is the journey and the changes that really freaked me out not so much the fear of the thinner me. I'll still be awsome at any weight. lol
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Old 06-15-2007, 02:49 PM   #14  
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I was always thin growing up. Always in the healthy weight range, until I got depressed. That's when food became my best friend. Now I'm having issues not eating when I feel emotion. Seriously, any kind of extreme emotion makes me want to eat. If I'm happy, I want to eat. If I'm sad, I want to eat. If I'm angry... yeah, I want to punch something, then eat.

It's tough, but, I've definitely gotten better.
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