I've been thinking hard about this recently. What is success? Obviously, getting to goal and staying there is successful. But what about if someone get two thirds of the way to goal, and stay there? Is that success too?

I guess I'm a little anxious because I've been hovering around 180 for so long. I wonder if the part of my brain that thinks that if I get to goal I'm starving to death is winning. I'm going to be lowering my calories over the next week, trying to shake things up. But I wonder if I might simply be doomed to failure.

I have absolutely no desire to give up. That just simply isn't on the radar. But I've been wondering lately if it is possible to fail to hit goal even if one doesn't give up. I've been thinking about the very concepts of "success" and "failure" these days. What do you all think about this?

Ummm, let's see - you've lost over 79 lbs, you used to be morbidly obese, you no longer are. You've kept your weight off for quite some time. I bet your life has changed DRAMATICALLY. I'm sure you are waaaay healthier, happier and more fit. Your eating habits have changed for the better. I'm pretty sure you're shopping in regular sized stores now, where ever you want in fact. You most likely have more confidence socially and many of your former worries have been alivieated. So to sum it up, yeah, I'd say that's SUCCESS - MAJOR SUCCESS in fact. You have done amazingly well. You have much to be proud of.

For the record, I do consider myself successful already. I have for quite some time in fact. I got a grip on my binge eating. I eat nutritionally sound food in healthy sized portions. I now exercise daily. I truly believe I have elminated many future health issues that were due to my being morbidly obese. Will I consider myself to be even MORE successful when I hit goal - perhaps, I'm not sure since I'm not there yet. But for now, I am very pleased with the changes I have made to my life.

Good luck scaling back the calories and wishing you much continued success.

Tealeaf, first of all, who says that 178.5 can't be goal? If you're happy there and you feel like this is a sustainable weight for you over the long term, why not say - OK, this is where I'm going to stay for a while?

But regardless of where goal may be, I'll echo Robin and Sharon -- of course you're a success right now! In my opinion, anyone who loses and keeps off ANY weight is a success!! So let's say someone is 300 pounds and loses 50 and keeps it off for good ... she is absolutely a success. Any doctor would tell you that she's drastically improved her health. In fact, losing as little as 10% of your body weight causes dramatic health improvements.

From what I've been reading lately, not everyone who is overweight or obese is biologically capable of attaining a normal BMI. Genetics have stacked the cards too unfairly for some people. BUT -- that person can become tons healthier and more fit by losing whatever weight her body is capable of losing. And that person is most definitely a success.

If you feel like you'd need to drop your calories to 'starving to death', then maybe going lower isn't for you. That doesn't sound very sustainable over the long term and it really doesn't sound like something you're looking forward to either.

So maybe think about redefining what goal is for you, but regardless of what the number may be, you are - without a doubt - a resounding success right now.

Hey tealeaf! I echo the others--you ARE a success!



I've said before that a goal is something that gets you moving in the right direction. But a goal is somewhat arbitrary--it's what a doctor says, or it's based on statistics, or it's just what we think we would want to be. So, it's not like if you don't reach the goal, you'll get a B in weight loss when you really wanted an A!

My goal is deliberately set high--it's not my final goal, but losing weight is SUCH hard work that I feel like I'm just gonna have to maintain for awhile when I get to my current goal number. Then I'll regroup and try again to drop lower.

I'd say, sure, lower your calories for the next week, maybe two--and see what happens. I had a devil of a time getting off 165, but I just tightened up my cals, and also increased protein % and lowered fat %, and that seems to be working.

And be HAPPY! You are doing so well!

Jay

Tealeaf -- You are SUCH a success!!!!!! I've been cheering you on since I joined 3fc!

I'm where you are -- I'm just stuck a few pounds below you and have been in the 170s since November. I personally have decided to just try and maintain here for a while and see what happens. I know I still have quite a bit of fat left on me, but honestly, when I look back to where I've been I am THRILLED. My life is so different in so many ways... too many to list.

I think we get very caught up on what the scale says and what the charts tell us we should weigh that it's hard to see past it.

I'm in a really busy time at work right now, but when that gets done, I'm going to try to set some exercise and fitness goals for myself and see about getting those done. For instance, our gym has a rock wall I'd love to try out. And I want to start biking to work most days in the summer.... I am going to focus on attaining those goals and maybe the scale will go down, maybe not. But I started this journey to get fitter and healthier and I AM. I'm not going to let the scale tell me I'm a failure because I am only just out of the obese category in terms of BMI.

So bravo! You certainly ARE a HUGE success!

i also say you are a success not only for losing so much weigh already ... you are KEEPING at it, particularly when the scale is NOT moving

Determination like that will lead you to whatever your ultimate goal is ...

You are one highly successful chick in my book

YOU ARE successful.... no doubt.

You may still have a goal to meet eventually - RockinRobin pointed out many of the reasons why

Tealeaf, you are definitely successful.

When I lost 75 lbs, I decided to stay there for a while and hang out. I stayed there for 18 months and then decided it was time to lose some more weight. That was last year and now I'm 50 lbs down from where I was last year and I'm hoping to lose another 40 lbs this year if my body cooperates. If not, then that is ok too.

Losing weight is successful and maintaining that weight loss is also successful. Maybe you'll pick a point and decide to lose more weight, maybe not. But you are a success

Thanks, everyone. I guess I knew what you all are saying, but having some self doubt at the same time. Maybe I do need to re-think my goals, I dunno. I just know that I still don't like the way my body looks, though I know I look and feel a whole heck of alot better than I used to.

Maybe I've just got the Sunday Morning Blahs or something.

I've yet to reach goal, and yet I see the payoff of my SUCCESS every day. This morning for instance, hubby woke with a massive leg cramp. You know where the back of your calf locks up miserably and all you can do is hold your leg and howl in pain? I used to get those frequently...at least once a month. They're painful and everyone used to tell me eat more bananas. I tried that, still got em. Now that I'm healthier and eat all kinds of fruit (bananas included) daily and take a daily multi...I haven't had a cramp since prior to 2004. I don't recall when my last one was.

Yesterday, as I was bent over putting the baby in his car seat and my daughter was getting into the passenger side, my back was to the road, some guys drove by and yelled. My daughter told me they were checking me out. Lucky for them I didn't turn around and turn out to be a guy. LOL

I'm healthy now, I'm in a healthy weight range, though at the high end of it, but so what. I don't tire out easily now and I get out and enjoy life much more than I ever did before. Those are successes and I'm enjoying every one of them.

It is successful to lose almost 80 pounds! They say one of the hardest aspects of weight loss isn't taking it off but keeping it off. You're learning to maintain, to keep it off. That's success, too. Maybe, for whatever reason, your body needs to just hover at 180 for a while.

I remember watching an episode of Celebrity Fit Club in which they got Wendy the Snapple Lady tested to see how much of her weight was bone, organs, etc.-- basically weight that can't be gotten rid of. It turned out that those things all weighed way more than she thought an ideal weight would be, so it would have been physically impossible for her to get down that low (without removing a leg or something, that is!). So basically I'm echoing Jay in stating that sometimes the goal weight is just arbitrary, and what's more important is how far you've come!

I think the attitude that we can't claim success until we've lost all of the weight we want to contributes to eating disorders and diet failure. The all or nothing attitude definitely has lead me to regain lost weight in the past. When you reach a very long plateau, it can be so hard not to just give up, because it feels so pointless to work so hard for a goal that seems so far away. But that implies that only the ultimate goal is worth anything, where every pound lost (especially when you're morbidly obese) is a success in and of itself.

I agree wholeheartedly - any improvement is a success. That doesn't automatically mean that you should change your goal. Maybe you should, maybe you shouldn't - only you can decide that one. But even if you never lose another pound, you are already a success.

And success isn't just the number on the scale, remember - it's being able to fit into regular sizes, lowering cholesterol and/or blood pressure, improving other health conditions through diet, getting rid of ED behaviours, etc. You have probably already succeeded on so many levels. So if you want to lose more, by all means keep working at it. But do so knowing that you have already succeeded at a very difficult task - that knowledge can only empower you.