So I think I've definitely stirred up some debate here

To clarify something first...from my initial post I didn't mean to insinuate that you married folks had somehow settled for less than what you wanted and sincere apologies if it sounded that way.

I think that some unfair generalisations have been made too - in that all handsome, tall, smart, confident guys are somehow a$$es - isn't that like saying that all 110lb, gorgeous, blond haired girls are bimbos? - which we know to be untrue!

From my own perspective - I am finding that from 'TV' appearances what I find attractive hasn't changed. BUT in reality it has...in the real world not everyone looks like your favourite filmstar/actor/musician that you go pwhoar to. From initial 'reality' appearances, I find I'm casting my net wider....in that there are men now that I'm not discounting immediately. Probably a confidence/body image thing.

I don't see the debate.

I didn't take it as any of us married folks settled for less than what we wanted. I have always wanted the same thing, and have always been attracted to the same thing-thin or fat. So, even being married, my standards don't change depending on my weight.

As far as the generalizations-I, and others here, were not saying that all tall, good looking men were bad. I was saying that there was a difference between a good looking man, and a man who KNOWS he is good looking, or puts too much emphasis on his looks and/or image and the looks/image of others.

Well, I haven't read this whole thread, but I want to say that my views on men have not changed whether I was big or small.

I tend to be more attracted to dark haired, dark eyed, olive complected white men, but I have nothing against lighter haired, blue eyed, fairer skinned men. I've never really been into black guys, though I have known one or two that made me consider going there... As for looks, it doesn't matter if he's not gorgeous, as long as he's not butt ugly, and as long as he has good teeth. I like my men to be at least 5'8" tall (I am 5'3" tall, so that is just right for me) I tend to be more attracted to thinner men, though a little extra weight does not bother me. I am not attracted to an excessively overweight men. Also, I do not want a man thats years younger than me. I am 31, and I like my men at least my age, 30 - 40 a good range, maybe a little older...

Personality wise, my men have to have a strong sense of humor. I have always, since I was young, been attracted to the class clown. The sillier they are, the more I like them. I do not like obnoxious humor, but I like a guy to be genuinely hilarious, silly and sweet.... I like a man who can act like a kid at times, but is capable of being a mature adult. If he cannot make me laugh, I am not interested. I do not like serious men, dull and boring... I like a smart, educated man, though I do not discount a person who does not have a college education. After all, I don't have a college education.... Anyway, my men have to be extremely nice and friendly. And passionate... I like a man who gives me alot of attention. Above all, happiness, laughter, and attention is what I crave the most...

I don't know if my guys fall under the catagory of geek of cool guy, I am not biased either way, but if I find a geek who fits this profile, I will snap him up. A geek is less likely to stray, I don't want a player... been there, done that..

If I get male attention, I always tend to get attention from guys I am not attracted to. Seems to be the going thing with me. Why can't I get hit on by someone who I find to my liking as well? Also, lately, I have had women interested in me, and I work with one of them. She is very attractive, and I really like her, but unfortunately, I don't swing that direction... what a pity, becuase I do like her alot, just not in that way...