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Old 04-01-2007, 04:18 PM   #1  
I'm doing it this time!
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Default My biggest problem must be...

...that I don't have faith that my weightloss efforts will yield the results I want. Deep, deep down I don't believe that I CAN lose all this weight by eating less and moving more.

I told myself to give it one week, that's it, of planning out my meals ahead of time and not straying off course, not once! My goal is to eat 1500 calories a day. I want to see what will happen. This first day, I caught myself in the kitchen saying "why bother. You're still going to be fat. Eat what you want".

How do I convince my stubborn self to let go of this huge, over powering doubt and have some faith that this WILL work? Others have done it, I know I am no different then them.

That voice can be so convincing and LOUD! I don't want to give in to it anymore! I really, really don't!!!

Heidi
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Old 04-01-2007, 04:49 PM   #2  
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I always find it toughest in the early stages. It will probably get easier once you've had some success, and some of your new habits have sunk in.

As for finding motivation, I find it helpful to come here and read people's bios and success stories. When I read about someone who has lost over 100 pounds, it motivates me to stay on track myself. Anyone who can summon up that kind of motivation is pretty inspirational, and it kind of makes me think that if they can do that, then SURELY I can stick to what I want to accomplish.
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Old 04-01-2007, 04:49 PM   #3  
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Because as you've said - others have done it and you're no different to them. I could eat all day every day. I like eating but I don't like the results - the miserable, "fat" feeling I have that day and for a few days after. I have had a really off day mentally today because I feel a bit under the weather. I could easily stand in the kitchen to see what I've got in but I've got to believe that it's going to work but only if I do my bit.

You've lost 13 lbs already - that's fabulous! In England you've gone from 12stone 12lbs to 11st 13 - that's something to shout about! You know that this works because you've been doing it already. Keep going
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Old 04-01-2007, 05:01 PM   #4  
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Oh Heidi! What a horrible sabotager you have living in your head!!! You have to let that person go!

Here's what I think--part of the trouble with weight, it seems to me, is that we often think of it as something mysterious and magical. It seems as though there are all these skinny people eating whatever they want and staying skinny (myth!) because they are skinny, and it seems as though you will always be fat because you are 'fat'. In other words, we are sometimes inclined to add a metaphysical dimension to our bodies and weight. ie, I'm fat because I'm a fat person, not because I eat too much or don't exercise enough. The thing is, fat isn't a metaphysical condition, some true statement about your soul; fat is what happens when you eat too much and don't exercise enough.

So for me, the scientific aspect of weightloss is really reassuring and encouraging. 3500 calories equals a pound of fat. If you don't eat 3500 calories, or burn off 3500 calories exercising, you will lose one pound. It's that simple. If you reduce your calorie intake by 500 calories each day, and burn off 500 calories a day exercising, you will lose two pounds in a week. There are complications, of course, such as having your period, or retaining water, or shocking your body into starvation mode, but the basic principle is a good, solid and scientific one. It has nothing whatsoever to do with your internal perceptions of yourself as a fat person, or some metaphysical condition of fatness unrelated to the workings of your body, it has everything to do with calories in and calories out.

So, rambling aside, the upshot is that if you eat 1500 calories a day, (and hopefully get in some exercise) you will lose weight. YOU WILL LOSE WEIGHT. It's a law of nature, like gravity.

Ignore that horrible saboteur. She's completely wrong.
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Old 04-01-2007, 05:06 PM   #5  
I'm doing it this time!
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A big part of me, the huge doubter, thinks I will level out and it will only get tougher to lose the rest of the weight. I hear the last few lbs. are the hardest to lose. I'm starting to believe it. I feel like a horrible person thinking about giving up and settling at the weight I am now, instead of fighting for what I really want. I guess what I want is a guarantee, but that isn't possible, I know that. OH, if only I had that crystal ball to see my future!

Heidi
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Old 04-01-2007, 05:21 PM   #6  
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For me is the oposite. My head tells me "Yes, you can", but my body in involuntary movements grabs a cracker or something like that. I`m working to improve it. I ask my mom to put away all the crackers or anything with carbs that i could grab.

You can train your mind, you just need to stop thinking fat and start thinking healthy
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Old 04-01-2007, 05:27 PM   #7  
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But Heidi, you don't need a crystal ball because the future of your body is entirely within your own control. The future will not happen without your choices. If you choose to eat moderately and to exercise, the future you will be svelte; if you choose to eat indiscriminately, and don't get any exercise, you'll stay the way you are, or you'll backtrack. This I can guarantee. This isn't to say that you won't plateau periodically, or that you won't have to adjust your calories and your exercise from time to time, but the fact is that if you count your calories and do your exercise, you'll lose weight, perhaps slowly, perhaps quickly, but you will lose weight. You can worry about the last 5 pounds when you get there--there is no reason at all to be fussing about those last pounds now.

No crystal ball is needed--you are the author of your own future, and your choices will govern how that future plays out.
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Old 04-01-2007, 06:20 PM   #8  
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Hi Heidi!

I know what you mean about "settling" for what you weigh right now rather than going for what you'd like to be. That thought comes into my head, too, from time to time. I'm 80 lbs. lighter than I was seven years ago. I'm THINNER, but I am NOT THIN. That's what I'd like to be. I want to weigh at my son's wedding in August what I weighed at my own wedding thirty years ago. I want to recapture those thirty years and have a DO-OVER as far as weight goes. THAT'S why I'm keeping on going. I also have a dress that has tight arms, and since I can't spot reduce, I MUST lose weight to even have a chance of getting those arms down to size. The dress is for my son's wedding.

Maybe choose an outfit that you LOVE that is small on you NOW. Hang it in your closet and revisit it every week to see your progress. There's nothing like a cute outfit to help a woman keep pressing onward to getting thinner! Also, with the outfit thing you can see success in lost INCHES and not just scale numbers. I find that I can lose inches while the number on the scale stays the same.

Try it! I'll bet the new outfit thing will help motivate you!

Cheryl
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Old 04-01-2007, 06:45 PM   #9  
I'm doing it this time!
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I'll try that, Cheryl! Off to see if I haven't thrown away all my skinny clothes! (I had a bad day a few years ago! I bet you can relate!)

Thanks to all for the advice!

Heidi
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Old 04-01-2007, 11:21 PM   #10  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by doIlookfat? View Post
...that I don't have faith that my weightloss efforts will yield the results I want. Deep, deep down I don't believe that I CAN lose all this weight by eating less and moving more.
That's exactly the way I felt when I started my program. I was 100% convinced that there was something wrong with my metabolism that would prevent me from ever being able to lose weight.

What really helped me was to set a long term goal in terms of how long I would stick with the program before giving up. I gave myself four months--so for four months, the deal was that I would stick with the program (exercising at least six times per week and limiting my calories) whether it was working or not. If I didn't lose any weight by the time four months had passed, I would try something different. I have no idea what I would have tried but I never needed to figure it out. By the time four months had passed (in fact, a lot sooner than that), it was clear that it was working and that my fears about my ability to lose weight were all in my head. But having that long-term deadline really helped me get passed the short-term lack of progress in the beginning.
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Old 04-01-2007, 11:52 PM   #11  
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Please don't feel like you're alone in this, so many people have trouble starting. If we didn't, would there be any overweight people?

Giving it a week is a GREAT start and you can definately do that! Have some confidence in yourself. You've done other more challenging things in your life (think back to a difficult obstacle you've overcome) and so it is definately within your abilities to do this.

We will be cheering you on the whole way - but I just want to add one thing, please don't feel like if you don't see major progress at the end of the week it means you haven't succeeded. It took more than a week to get us into our unhealthy lifestyles and so we can't expect to have a completely changed mentality after only 7 days. Committing to a healthier lifestyle is hard for the first few weeks, but it becomes SO much easier, I promise you, and the rewards are greater than you can dream of.
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Old 04-02-2007, 12:26 AM   #12  
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I dont have faith either. some days I catch glimpses of it, but deep down, no.

But I have also decided I dont need to believe, I need only to do.

Its the same with "staying motivated". I dont NEED to be motivated, I have to do without motivation.

I make choices to makes staying on plan easier and going off plan harder. If I fall I get up and go again.

One of the things I have realized this time around is the slips dont make that much difference. Its the beating yourself up and giving up that makes a (negative) difference.
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Old 04-02-2007, 01:33 AM   #13  
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The key is developing realistic expectations, and sometimes that's the hardest part. Healthy habits and weight loss are difficult and complicated and we get in trouble when we forget how difficult it is.

Imagine you wanted to learn to play the piano, you wouldn't expect to be able to play perfectly your first week. In fact, you'd be playing for months before you could play even a very short easy song without making tons of mistakes, right?

Yet when we try to lose weight, we want to give up if we aren't perfect from the start. We need to remember that losing weight is a very complex set of skills, and progress is going to take time. And just like playing the piano, and other skills the difference between success and failure is mostly how much we are willing to practice and how willing we are to pick our selves up and try again when we fail or fall short.
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Old 04-02-2007, 03:32 AM   #14  
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I know exactly what you're saying! Even now, 11 lbs down, I'm thinking "eh, it was just a fluke, or it's just water weight," etc. It's funny how that little sabotaging voice likes to kick in at inopportune times... I'll have to keep an eye (ear?) out for it now that I've read this thread. Thanks for posting this. Hopefully, in six months, we'll both be posting here that we've lost tons of weight, and that we have permanently told our sabotaging voices to hit the road!
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Old 04-02-2007, 04:43 AM   #15  
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I know how you feel! Sometimes, it feels too much when you get on the scale and then think to yourself of how many X pounds you have to lose before you get to your target weight (even if its more than a hundred pounds). It's normal to feel this way, a lot of "chicks" feel this way in the beginning.

In this kind of a situation, it does feel discouraging at times... my advice is several things: keep focused on your weekly goal of 1-2 pound weight loss and when you feel overwhelmed in these situations, that's what the 3fatchicks forum is all about!!

Since it appears you're in the beginning part of losing weight... that can be one of the hardest things you have to do (a.k.a. changing your eating lifestyle). Keep in mind you are more than allowed to feel wacky at times!! It's okay

Also stay away from the fridge when you feel down like that... put on a good movie or blast the room with a great song... writing down how you feel or call up a good friend are other possibilities. Keep going, you're doing great!
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