Hi i am a new comer to this site, but already I know it will be very helpful and fruitful for me. I am a 22 year old employed student. I have a three year old son. I weigh about 174 on a 5"6 inc frame. My goal is to reach 120. I wear a size 13 but am striving for a 6. I want to be an actress but never will even have the courage to look at a stage at my current weight. All my relationships are suffering because of my weight. I try to tell my best friend but she thinks I am crazy seeing that she weighs more than I do and refuses basically to talk about the problem. This weight problem overides everything in my life. I don't want to go anywhere or do anything. I know I can do it but it's just doing it that is the problem. I have a $300.00 wadrobe that I bought for my new weightloss when it happens. I think I have a pair of jeans that has been hanging on the closet for at least 2 years. I don't want to buy anything in my size because to me that would be admitting defeat and I would cry everytime I saw the size, and besides I alwasy feel that my weightloss will happen right around the corner and I do not want to waste money on clothes that I will not soon be able to fit. I work the night shift and don't have to really dress like anything at all, which is a good thing because I only have 6 items well rags that I wear becasue they are about all i can fit. I promised myself a new start at the beginning of the year meaning that I intended to be down to my goal weight. that was 3 months ago, and still every bit of the 4 pounds i lost i simply gained back. I don't know what to do I feel completely worthless but I know i have much worth.I know that I am a very pretty girl, but lately the way I have been looking and caring myself is like a 200 year old hag. The way I dress represents the way I feel so well... you know how that goes or should I say looks. I hate being fat and i am tired of being fat and I am tired of not taking my son places because i do not want anyone to see the fat me!!!! I know that there are millions of people who feel like I do but sometimes I feel as if I am the only one, partly because I have no one else to talk to about this problem. Losing weight should not mean as much to one person as it does to me, but it does it is my life. I am 22 I want to lose the weight now and not let another second of my life slip away from me until it becomes 20 years and ends with me thinking about what I could of or should have done. I have always been great at supporting those in need and making them feel better but this time I've hit rock bottom and know that I am the one needing support please help.
need to lose
