You are NOT mean. You probably have a better insight into them than they have for themselves. However, I guess looking at a big person is the same as looking at an extremely tall person.

When my kids were little, we went to a restaurant. The people in front of us were just about to be seated. My daughter asked why the guy in front of us was in a wheelchair. I pulled her back behind my husband and was kneeling down to speak with her when he turned around and said that he liked taking his chair everywhere with him because he knew he would always have a comfortable seat. Then he laughed and told her that he lost use of his legs in an auto accident. I thanked him for his attitude and explanation. He said he was rude to people at first then realized that by making a joke of it, he was more able to accept his condition. We all finished our dinner at about the same time and this guy put both my daughters on his lap and gave them a ride to the front door.

Oh that's a great story. I really don't mind those kinds of innocent stares (I've even caught myself doing those). In some ways it's weird that we almost are taught to "look away," from anything unusual (especially if it's related to a social taboo), when it's the human instinct (and a great one) to want to explore and learn about unusual things (and people).

Usually, just a direct glance and smile is enough to put people at ease. And it's usually teen boys or teen girls in a pack (or ironically, a fat woman - sometimes just a little smaller than myself) that are deliberately and persistantly rude.