[KatL]

Hi everyone. I posted here about 2 years ago for quite some time. I had lost 125 pounds and was feeling pretty good both mentally and physically. I was so proud of myself and felt so good that I'd accomplished something so wonderful. Then I got depressed and have gained back 35-40 pounds over that 2 years. I have wanted to get back into my routine but just can't seem to do it. My routine being daily exercise and sticking to around 1200-1500 cals a day religiously. Before that success I had tried for years to do it and been unable to lose more than 5 or 10 pounds and still find it hard to believe that I had the self control to make the 125 pounds loss happen. I want to lose that regained 40 pounds and the additional 25 I had still wanted to lose but just can't seem to even get started. I usually do fine for the first part of the day but then start thinking why bother? Who cares if I'm fat or not? And then its HELLO BACON CHEESEBURGER AND ONIONS RINGS DIPPED IN RANCH! I'm a comfort eater is the trouble.

Tonight I ran across 3FC again and thought, "Where better to get support than with others just like me". So here I am.

[MaWhit]

Welcome back!

[JayEll]

KatL,

I'm sorry to hear about your being depressed. I hope you're feeling better these days. Was it something that happened?

Regaining weight after losing it is very frustrating and I'd say most of us know what that's like. I sure do.

Good for you that you want to reverse things now. I'd say, try to do just one thing, a small thing, to get back on track. Like going for a walk, planning a meal that you can enjoy in place of that bacon cheeseburger thing, drinking more water. And build from there.

You did a fabulous thing to lose all that weight, and you CAN do it again with that regained weight!

Jay

[ellabella]

KatL honey,

I'll tell you who cares if you're fat or not - YOU do, and you know it! We've all - well, let me speak here for me - I've thought the same as you many a time. What difference does it make? That's usually good (for me) just about long enough to eat up a whole 25-piece box of Dunkin Donuts donut hole thingies on my way home from work. (My commute takes an hour). Once I've scarfed down the last one (feeling slightly nauseous, but still feeling around in the box to see if I've missed any; I think we can safely, if non-medical- professionally, diagnose me as an obsessive-compulsive eater) I'm starting to think, "Omigod, WHY did I do that?????" Too late, though, and now I feel even worse about myself. Depressed? Oh, YEAH! Now don't get me wrong. We're not talking clinical depression here; it's not about unbalanced chemicals in my brain or anything, and I could very well be wrong, but it doesn't sound like that's what you're talking about, although it may be? (I don't know). But my depression was/is purely situational, purely related to my unhappiness with ME - and that unhappiness has ALWAYS stemmed from body image and WEIGHT (Auuurrrrggg!) To make a long story short, I've lost and gained so much weight over my lifetime that I couldn't even begin to add it all up (I'm not that good at math). I KNOW what you're feeling, I've felt it, and the truth is, we just can't afford to let ourselves feel it. All it does is lead to more unhealthy eating, less exercise (Okay - NO exercise) and MORE feelings of inferiority, uselessness, powerlessness, "why me"(?)-ism, pessimism, and all that really BAD, self-perpetuating stuff. Who Cares? YOU need to care (and I need to care) because nobody else can care for us. People will say they care, but I've got to tell you that unless they're in our shoes, they're thinking "better her than me", and that's the cold, harsh truth of it. WE'RE the ones who schlep around trying not to be noticed, wearing baggy clothes and hoping that nobody's looking. Well, ENOUGH, dang it! We've done it before and now we're a little older and a little smarter, right? NOW we know what we REALLY have to do to get to where we want to be and stay there, AND get out of that old, self-defeating depression. 3FC is AWESOME! I read the posts two or three times a day, and I've got to tell you, I'm SO inspired! It feels SO good, doesn't it, knowing that we're not alone - not the only ones going through this craziness, and not the only ones who have done it more than once (okay, more than TEN times, dang it!). It's a lot easier, sometimes, dealing with your own stuff when somebody else has just posted about dealing with the same thing. I've only been back "on the wagon" for a few weeks, now - ever since I saw pictures of my teeny-tiny little sister and myself taken at the beach in September. (Sometimes I can hardly believe we come from the same family: I'm about six inches taller, and always been about 50 pounds heavier - at my GOOD weight, fahgoodnessake!). To make a long story short(er) those pictures looked like they were taken of a freaking WHALE and a sardine cavorting on the danged beach! ENOUGH! ENOUGH! ENOUGH! This is IT! I am SO done with being the "heavy sister"! I haven't even dared weigh myself yet. How sad is that? I'm going to weigh myself tomorrow (Monday) morning after peeing. At least it'll be a more manageable "start weight" than it would have been a couple of weeks ago. I've GOT to believe that all this healthy eating, water drinking and excersize (whoa! NOT working out, here. Walking - walking is all for now. Just trying to limber up a little and get into a little bit better shape before I get into anything more strenuous) means I'll start out at least FIVE (okay, maybe 3 or 4) pounds lighter than I REALLY started. Crazy, I know, but just one of my little weirdities (is that a word?).
KatL, You CAN do it, and you'll feel so much better once you do. Stick with it, check in here often, and we'll do it together!
Have a GREAT day!
Ella