Just to ponder: what is "normal"? I probably see more naked women than anyone else on this board and I have yet to see a "perfect" body...moles, errant hairs, pooches, pouches, saddle bags...we live in this society that expects women to have slim thighs yet big boobs, and, by the way, boobs are only appropriate for selling beer and chicken wings, how dare you breastfeed in this ToysRUs, there are CHILDREN around??? But back to all those poochy, pouchy, hairy women....they are normal...even if they are a few pounds over or a few pounds under "normal" BMI.

Delight in your ability to BE and to DO. To change our bodies, decrease poundage and fat by considering what we put in our mouths is a wonderful thing. The ability to change is in our grasps. To have our bodies respond to movement and weight lifting, how lovely is that?

"Perfect" is impossible. "Normal" is in your head. "Healthy" is the most worthy goal of all.

Hear hear midwife!

Hi SusanB!

Wow! I never thought of that! I guess I don't want to be "normal" either if THATwould be my fate! I've lucked out, and even with the added weight have been healthy. It's good that I stopped tempting fate, though! People in my family live long lives. My mom just turned 95 and doesn't take any medication. She's a skinny vegetarian. I figured a few years ago that if I had 50 more years left, I was going to live it at the beach, on rollercoasters, playing in the pool with grandkids, and going walking rather than in a wheelchair or on a couch!

Cheryl

"Perfect" is impossible. "Normal" is in your head. "Healthy" is the most worthy goal of all.


That is profound!

well said midwife! (btw I am a big fan of your posts.. always a voice of reason.)

Susan, I'm totally with you on this. I am 46 yrs. old. I have had many people assume that I've always been slender. I was obese for many years. My body isn't "perfect" but it looks far better than it did at 234 lbs. and I don't have many of the health problems that I had as an obese person. It is 100% worth the effort to take off the wt. and become healthier.

Susan, I think that you have alot of fab advice to offer but........sweetie, you were NEVER even "fat." Or not so much so that you got stretch marks on your back. That is fat.

The one thing that gives me away as formerly fat is the stretch marks. And you can't do a damned thing about them. But, in clothes no one can tell and let me tell you that I would take DOUBLE the amount of stretch marks and stay slim then ever be big again.

And, like other posters have mentioned, it really is all about what is inside....and being slimmer is healthier.

Also, gamerchick, I really wouldn't focus on this right now because it is too premature. You are likely to get discouraged and possibly give up if you focus on any negatives......and when the day comes when you are 100lbs lighter you can worry about all of these issues then.
Til then, just focus on getting healthier and losing some excess weight that you don't want.

Some days, I feel deformed. I have a huge belly that hangs, I have wrinkled areas where fat used to be (inner thighs/upper arms) and I can feel my body fold in itself when I bend over. I can't tell you how happy I am to have lost 100 lbs. I am 31 years old and from at least the age of 14, I have been 300 lbs or more. I have no idea at what age I hit 200 lbs, possibly 10 or so. So not everyone has the same history as me but I have to say that I think I look awesome with clothes on and even with clothes off, I don't look so bad. I do have loose skin but that is expected for someone like me who has been so overweight for so long.

So no one can give you any guarantees where you will be but it seems like there is a consensus here in that you will be happier when you lose weight. Losing weight sure beats not losing weight.

I think your concerns are valid. And it does seem to be disheartening to think that after you lose your weight that you will still struggle with body image issues. But I have to be honest, and agree with previous posters that focusing on these small concerns won't help you lose weight. You have to do it because you want to/need to. I think everyone (yes these includes the size negative 0 models) has some sort of body hang-up. But think of how much better you will look & feel. You may always hate your legs...I know that I do. It wasn't until a few months ago that I kind of accepted them, and I hadn't even reached my goal weight yet. I went and took the after photos (which was actually 10 lbs ago) in the link posted below and I was astonished. Really? Those are my legs? So even though they have always been my weak point, I noticed it wasn't that bad. So I would suggest taking weekly or monthly photos (something I REALLY wish I would have done) so you can look back at your progress and see yourself from a different view then what you think you see in the mirror......

So sorry for the long post...but good luck!

Hey, just a quick note from someone in a similar situation - I'm 19, in the past 9 months I lost about 50 pounds, and I have to say, its really almost impossible to tell when I'm naked. I have a few little stretch marks, but they've lightened so much since I lost weight, you really have to look for them. The only place that's a real problem for me is my boobs, I was a DD and am now a D, and they sag more than I'd like to, but I'm hoping that as my skin continues to adjust and shrink they'll get a little perkier - again, just a personal thing. I have 10 more to go, and I'm perfectly happy with everything except that little belly I've still got. Anyway, for what its worth, my skin actually seems tighter to me now than it did with all the fat underneath - nothing to jiggle!

you know what..I may never have pretty thighs no matter how toned they get. They may always have stretch marks and cellulite. And my arms may always have some jiggle

but when I get to goal I sure as heck am gonna wear sleeveless shirts and shorts. Because my worst at that point is still gonna be better than my best now and better than most of the population.

I wont be held hostage by stretch marks on a hot day.

when you get near goal...go to some place that allows nudity. I am going to put in a flat out plug for breitenbush hot springs in oregon. they have women only weekends. They only allow nudity in the hotsprings, it isnt a nudist camp. It is a retreat.

Anyway the first time my "cant change in the locker room" friend went she wore a swimsuit in the springs. But that weekend she was "confronted" by the site of probably 60 different women from 20-75, from size 0 - 30, flat chested - voluptuous, and she realized that we are ALL beautiful women and NO ONE has a "perfect" body

It was very therapeutic

heck..why wait for goal...learn how beautiful you are NOW. Its easier to take care of your body when you stop hating it.

With regard to shrinkingchica's remarks--

Let's not get into whether members are "fat" or not. Just don't go there. Some of us feel "fat" with 15 pounds to lose, others convince themselves they are not "fat" when they have 60 pounds to lose. We're here to support each other! Cheers to all!

Jay

We certainly all are different, with different stories to tell. Just how heavy we got and for how long and how old we are now, how many children we've had, how tall we are, genetics and on and on and on.

For me personally, I didn't have very high expectations of what my body would look like. Although I'm only 86 pounds down, with a bunch more to lose, I am already seeing some saggy skin. But I'd rather be 201 lbs with saggy skin then 287 lbs without it. And when I get to goal, lord knows there's gonna be more skin. I will take it. Anything has got to be better then living out my life as a morbidly obese person.

And yes, if 10 lbs makes you feel fat, then you are indeed fat, if only in your own eyes. The only difference is there just won't be as much damage done to the skin as if one had been morbidly obese. That's where the "we're all different part" comes into play.

Calm down everyone. Between you all here, you've brought up a good point. Do you check out other posters to see if their contribution is 'worth' listening to?

That sounds like a good idea for a new thread!