I have been searching previous posts to find an answer and have not found one that I can use. My soon to be Hubby is a major carnivore, he wants and eats meat at every meal. I eat as little meat as possible, ususally none for my health, I have Lupus. My problem is even though he understands why I avoid certain foods and claims to have no problems with my choices he continually tries to sabatoge my "diet". Do any of you have any ideas on how I can talk to him and possibly get him to see what he is doing? I don't have a problem with cooking seperate meals or even eating small amounts of his food choices. He hates the idea of seperate meals and me having to go to all the extra work yet doesn't want to even try non-meat main dishes. So his idea of an alternative is going out to eat at some resteraunt. As others have commented many resteraunts don't have much if any of a selection for herbivores. Any of you have this problem?

Wow. If he hates the idea of separate meals, does that mean he thinks you should comply with his choices? Seems like that's kind of one-sided to me, but.....
If he is the mainstream 3-things-on-a-plate type of guy, like steak-potato-vegetable, that seems easy; you just swap out the steak for a vegetarian alternative on your plate.
Pizza - easy, half with meat, half without.
Burgers - his with beef, yours a garden burger.
Italian sauces - add meat to his at the end after you take your part.
Mexican food - build your own burritos; make a little burrito bar. Have the meat in one dish for him to put in his.
Lasagne: you can do this half and half also, or do mini lasagnes in small loaf pans; one with and one without meat.
Stir fry: do the vegetables first, then separate into two pans and add tofu to one pan and meat to the other.
It's really not like you're eating totally different things.

I am in a similar situation as you, Invisible Blob. It's tough to be different in a society that tells you, "if you want to be like everyone else, then you have to eat meat." I sometimes have people trying to sabatoge my foods, and it get's frustrating. People don't understand that it's a personal choice that should be respected. I know that if I swapped my dad's medication with tic tacs, he could die, so what gives him the right to switch my veggie burger with beef? Though it's not as serious, I could get sick since my body isn't used to meat.

I go out to eat once in a while, and most of the time, I do not get to decide where to go. We always wind up at some sort of steak house. I usually try to get the waiter to help me out. I wind up eating a salad or something, since sometimes they like to cook their vegetables in beef broth.

So anyway, talk to your soon to be hubby. Tell him that you are doing this for yourself. He needs to be aware that he could be hurting your feelings. I've cried on a few occassion because people have put me down and have actually yelled at me because they don't approve of my decision to not eat meat.

Sorry for the long post, but this problem hits home for me. I hope everything gets better for you.

Whew! The sabotage sounds like my ex husband. Which is one reason he's my ex husband. Seriously though - he needs to respect your choices and meet you half way. You are entering a partnership for life, and you are expected to support each other. He needs to understand and support your decisions, and if separate meals are the middle ground, then so be it! If I were you, I'd just put my foot down (nicely of course) and tell him this is very important and his support is needed. Restaurants are costly (money can be put to much better use) and generally high in calories and hidden sugar and fat. Not a healthy move, unless you live in a 'cafe town'.

BTW, my husband and I are vegetarians, but my son is not. He eats meat free on occasion, and we also cook meat for him sometimes (we buy single packed filet mignon or bags of frozen shrimp), or we buy pre cooked meats, such as rotisserie chicken, entrees from a nearby cafeteria, or frozen pre cooked meats from a wholesale club. Works just dandy for us.

It's funny that it should bother HIM that YOU are preparing the seperate meals, go figure... I do seperate meals everyday, there are 4 of us... DD veggie, DS meat lover, neither one of them like fish, and chicken they are both iffy on, DH and I watch our cholesterol... Some nights I make 3 different kinds of protein... It's no biggie to me because I flop in on the BBQ most times, steak, salmon, and a veggie burger... Everyone eats the carb and vegetable that I make...

Thank you all for your replies, I am meeting him for lunch tomorrow and we are discussing the issue. Cross my fingers...