[motivation2001]

I feel so low lately.

All I want to do is sleep. And sleep. And sleep. But I can't sleep. I go to bed at five in the morning, exhausted, and wake up still exhausted.



For the past few days all I could eat was bread and soup. Anything else I just couldn't digest. We have five dollars to our name. We have overdue bills. I can't find work. I'm not eating properly. I can't even see my friends (no gas to drive anywhere!)

I got my appetite back today and I ate A LOT. My boyfriend made a honey-covered flatbread and I just ate so much because I was so hungry. I also had these deep fried cheese things. But sometimes I go hours and hours and hours without eating. I am just not very hungry. Or, I am hungry but I can't keep the food down. I just feel so low.

It's so tough to eat healthy and to go out and exercise when all you want to do is lie in bed and cry!

I know how silly and childish all of this sounds and it makes me feel even worse.

But thanks for listening, even if you don't reply. I appreciate it.

[Eleni]

Do you remember that saying "It is always the darkest before dawn" and "There is always light at the end of the tunnel"And the #1 of all times---.Count your blessings That last one has pulled me out of the deepest holes many times.I know the sayings may sound silly sometimes but there is truth in each one.
I do know how hard it is to try to get healthy when you feel like you do.I know what it is like when it hurts to just get out of bed and walk across the floor.I know what it is like to not even have $5.I know what it is like to have no food to eat.Sometimes it is hard to not get terrible depressed for days sometimes.But you must try to get thru it.If it continues you need to seek medical help.Any city has free mental health help programs
But when you are having hardships it would be unusual if you did not get depressed.But just from posts I see blessings that you have.1.You do have food to eat 2. You do have $5 3.You are not living on the street.4.Your boyfriend seems to care about you 5.You have more people than I that can relate and feel your pain and do care about you. 6 You are smart enough to know you are dpressed and are doing something to try to help yourself.
Sometimes talking about it is enough to turn yourself around.
My late mother once told me Life is like a bed of roses,full of thorns and you are going to get pricked And boy have I been stuck time and time again
But know you are not alone.We all go thru bouts of being depressed.Don't let it control you.Fight it anyway you can.
We are here to help but ultimately it is up to you.
Remember that other saying
If it is to be It's up to me Sometimes I absolutely hate that one because it puts the ball in my court.I am the one to change what I am doing to myself.
I don't know if anything I have said will help but just wanted to be sure you know others do understand how you are feeling.And if this feeling continues do get help.

[Lara H]

Eleni has a wonderful way with words (I am keeping a copy of her post incase I ever feel the need to read it again) and said a lot of what I wanted to say.

There are a lot of us out here who have been where you are, if not in exactly the same spot then somewhere a door or two down... I know I for one can remember sobbing in a stall of the women's rest room at the local mall while trying to find work. And my depression hadn't even hit bottom at that point.

One thing that I've read and have found for myself to be true is that wallking can help you lift out of a depression. You don't have to go far or fast, just walk for 20 minutes. It lets off endorphins in your brain that cause you to feel a bit better about yourself. If you have someone you can talk to about things while walking even better, but just walking will at least help. And on the plus side it may even help with your weightloss journey.

As to eating soup... well, I think one of the healthiest eating periods of my life came when I was on ver very limited funds... It wasn't too many years ago that I remember having $5 a week for groceries and incidentals... which meant if I had to buy deodorant I had about $3 left for the week's food. I learned to cut coupons and to buy very frugally. I learned that you can make do. Rice carrots and peas make a complete protein (or so I was told) and they can make a very filling soup that costs little and lasts for days. Add a can of chopped or crushed tomatoes, an onion, and a bag of frozen corn and you have a great veggie and rice soup.

hth

{{hugs}} you are strong enough to get through this.

Lara

[lady06498]

Hi Motivation,

I agree with what the others said. I to have been to a point in my life that I was so depressed that I was on medication for it. I finally had the brains to go see a counsler and get things straightened out. It takes a big person to admit that they need help. And you know that you need help and we are all here for you.
I went through a very depressed time last year in aug and sept. . I had just gotten married in july and gotten back from our honeymoon and I was so depressed once I got home. I had gained weight over the 2 weeks for our honeymoon and this should have been the happiest time of my life and it wasn't. I finally went to see someone once again because I just felt I couldn't pull my self out of it. I did pull myself out that time without the medication which made me feel great. It sounds like you have a lot on your plate right now. Who wouldn't be depressed. But you have to turn this around. The way you feel shines through you no matter if it is good or bad. When you go for an interview if you are depressed it will show. So that won't help you get that job you want. But if you turn this around and start to shine on the inside and out then you will land that job that you want.
We are all here for you. I can say that you can count your blessings because you have a lot to be thankful for in this world. I didn't think I had a friend in the world or anything a year ago until I actually started making a list. Sit down and write down all the things you have and be thankful for them. Don't forget to put down all your friends here online.

That is what helped me realize just what I did have. I was concentrating so much on what I didn't have that I forgot about the things I do have. Start there and that might help you.

Isn't there anyway you could get some assistance from the state or county until you get a job. That would help. I would look into that. I did that once before. Sometimes we just have to put our pride aside and do what we have to. It isn't like it is going to be a lifelong situation. There is a reason for everything I believe. We don't always know what the reason is but we figure it out after awhile. I feel god has a plan for everyone and we just have to be patient. I know that the waiting and being patient at this point is hard but you have to do it. You also have to take care of your well being. If you don't feel like getting up get up anyway. Just like you had a job and start a routine for yourself. You will start to feel much better. Make looking for a job your job. Don't just check the papers, you can walk in off the street and ask if they are hiring. Sometimes the best jobs are the ones that are not advertised. Also you don't have any competition for the job because no one else knows about it and you will have a better chance at getting it.

Take care and feel free to vent any and all your feelings here. This is what we are all about. We are here for each other for everything not just the weightloss.

Sherri

Keep your head held high and walk with pride.

[motivation2001]

Thank you so much, everyone, for your kind words.

I am saving all of your posts so I can re-read them for future reference. I don't have a lot to say right now but I do really really appreciate your kind thoughts and words.

Thanks so much! You are all very wise.

[Christian at home]

Motivation- Hey girl, Know I am here if you need me too girl, And you are in my thoughts and prayers... You are gonna come out of this one stonger than you are now, You just wait

[ciecie]

All of us have been where you are at one time or another. Things will get better. However, there is one thing that I suggest you do. That thing is see your doctor! He or she will be able to help you.