[KAR73]

Hi Folks,
I have been going to TOPS for the last year and a half. I have lost about 25 pounds since joining. When I firsted joined, everyone was so motivating and helpful. Now it has started to be just one big gossip session for some of the members. It is driving a few of my friends and I nuts. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to motivate my group to help others and myself continue to lose the weight? Please help me! I am starting to get dragged down with my other unmotivated members. I don't want to fall into their habits since I still have some weight I want to take off.
Thanks,
Kerry

[lady06498]

Kerry,

That is the problem I had with my group as well. It is hard and it does pull you down. You first have to realize that those that are there for the gossip session are alway going to be like that. They are the ones that have been in the group forever and have never reached goal.
Second is you have to realize that the weightloss is in your control and you have the power to make your OWN choices regardless of what they do. Trying to motivate them won't help if they don't want to be motivated. I suggest that the few of you that are really trying and that want to be there for the right reasons get together and motivate each other. That way the motivation is sincere and it will help you all out. Then once the others see you are still losing that might motivate them.
We had a few of us that would do individual challanges amongst ourselves. You could try that. Also why not get their phone numbers and tell each other that you will call them a couple times during the week to check on them. Or team up and your buddy and you can keep in contact during the week to keep each other motivated then switch buddies every week so you are not getting motivated by the same person every week and vice versa. That should help. I know I did that with one other member and we used to call on each other a few times in the week and just knowing the other was going to call to check on us kept us on track and then we could discuss any hard times coming up or what we might be dealing with at that time.

Just a few suggestions. Let me know how you make out.

Remember you hold the key to your destiny and you make your own choices in the end. No one can do this for you and if you want to do it then you will find a way to succeed no matter what it takes. I have to remember that one myself I have forgotten that myself.

Have a great day and take care of you!

Sherri

[mompen]

Kerry,
I was gonna come in here this morning and give you some great advice..... but Sherri beat me to it! Great Job Sherri!

Have you tried another group? I know it is the group that makes TOPS good or bad.

I say you show off your motivation! You and your friends arrive when the meetings start and leave when they end and stay really concerned during the meetings by asking questions and such. Maybe if the rest of them see how interested you are in the meetings, they will realize how childish they are being!

Please keep us posted on your success! You are doing awesome!!!

[KAR73]

Thanks for your great advice Sherri and Penny. You have made some great suggestions and I plan to share them with my friends. Once the others see that we are making it closer to our goal, then maybe they will be motivated too. I was just getting tired of them coming to the meetings complaining about not losing weight. They would ask my friends and I how we lost our weight and we would tell them. But the ones who gossip are the ones who have fifty millon excuses as to why they can't excerise. But I have learned that you need to watch your food intake and workout, to take the weight off and keep it off. So I am through trying to help people who don't want my help or motivation. I will keep you posted on how my friends and I are doing. Thanks a bunch.
Have a great day!
Kerry