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Hey all, and welcome. Congrats to all who had successful challenge days.
Princess - yes, having two bags helps. If I think I might be tempted to skip my morning workout, I try to get my bag all packed and in the car the night before. 9.5 times out of 10, the fact that I would still have to get dressed, go to my detached garage, to get my bag to get ready for work is enough to get me off the couch and to the gym. Little things. Caro - I totally feel like I wrote your post. I too feel "safe" in my old patterns, and hide behind the fat. For me, I have realized that I am a perfectionist, so it is easier to blame certain problems and issues on society's (men's) problem with people overweight. Instead of my shyness and fear of getting out there. I am trying to journal more regularly, to help me work through that, and not succumb to the emotional eating. I have to say that this set of challenges is not off to a very good start. Day 1 - follow menu and no :censored:, and day 3 - no soda, challenges all met. I had to take a pause day on the abs. Since I skipped the gym this morning, I went after work, which ran late. I wanted to get home to take care of dogs, so I decided to do abs at home. By the time I finished dinner, and all the phone calls, I am still too full (just from normal dinner - I was BF today) to do abs without, well, you know. This is not a good start. Speaking of stressful things and emotional eating . .. I love my mum, but - does anyone else think it is weird that the mother of a 35 year old wants to meet her friends?????It just seems so weird to me. And I know part of it is my own issues with my age, and some of the milestones I just haven't accomplished in my life, but sometimes I feel like she still thinks I am 12 and not able to manage my own life since I don't have my own family to care for. Most of that is my own projecting, but I just want to scream. Thanks for allowing the vent. Have a good night all :wave: |
Hi ladies...
OMG...Jolly, now I think your post was about me...Thanks for the tips on the bags...I am going to try it...tonight... I too have had a rough start but not giving up...It has to be wrong to have a pause day on day two...but i guess it is as I try to learn this sytem. And the mom thing. My mom is the best there is but, there is a but, I am 32 without my own family and I too feel like my family thinks I cant manage my own life. Granted there have been past issues that give cause for alarm but in my opinion there so many more positive things that should outweigh and concerns for not managing my life. My mom is also overweight from being a toothpick a until she was 35-40 so she tries to be an encourager but sometimes I do not let her and get frustrated with her for interjecting at all. That is my fault not hers. (she still calls almost everynight to make sure I am home safe and locked up in my house - Dad tries to give space but they both say until I find someone who will worry about me that way...they want to make sure I am safe) ahhh. Jolly and caro...it is so much easier to stay hidding...I do it too. I am an active person but sometimes I hermit when I get depressed or in moods...it is easier. It is safe...but we are not happy wen we do it just safe from ridicule and not facing the music. I have been trying to think of my pay off (according to Dr phil) why dont I want it bad enough to get off the couch or not eat this or that...why.. I am still struggling to find when did hiding in my fat hermitville life become what is safe and comforatable and acceptable...when...it did not use to be. I had a bad day but a good night. I felt better after forcing myself to exercise. So yes, that heps. It may sound like a cliche but it is helping me to know I am not the only one with these feelings. I can release some twisted guilt for feeling inadequate and a lone. So we will make it...we have too that is why we are here... Ok I have went on and on and I hope there are not any english majors here because I have violated every sentence rule there is....lol... RB - thanks - and I thought my tiara joke was funny. lol. take care ladies. the weights gonna go. |
hi all
i'll come back later and read everything!! |
ok i'm back. is it just me or is it really hard to keep up with all the pasts? i find it hard flicking back and forth between the different pages to see what everyone has been doing :)
my day so far has been fine food wise but i am finding it hard not to binge. i have done journalling (2days) and am binge free so far today, i am exhausted and have to work hard not to use that as an excuse to binge! marble - you are HILARIOUS. boy i could read you all day LOL kt - well done. it's a process so if you're going forward it's all good. perfection is not the goal oh darn someone arrived be back to finish! |
looking good on Day 2...
Hey people. I am just so busy these days. Just got in from work but have a story to do and I don't even have the tape transcribed yet..it's been so long I don't even remember what the guy said...:stress: Work was tough today but ok, the new president was there to see what we all do and that gave us a lot of opportunities to diss the management. :lol: I was good with eating and plan on staying that way, but won't call it a wrap till the following morning (or right before I hit the hay). Got to the gym this morning (after the 50-min walk, which is a great warmup) did weights and jogged 3K and did the crunches. Hurrah!
No time to comment but looking over the posts, just want to say, princess, you don't have to take a pause day. You can start over. I would, if it was early on still, but that's totally up to you. Just keep aiming for success. One challenge I did, I started it (in name) and then couldn't notch two days in a row for about three weeks! Caro knows me..Never Give Up!!...and Caro, I know how the hurt makes you want to eat. I did it for years very badly and still do it to calm down, even when good things happen...but recently I'm learning to sit still with the feelings, whatever they may be and listen to them, feel them, no matter how much they hurt, have a good cry (strange phrase that as it doesn't feel good) but just not eat, try to not make it an option. jolly, i think moms just want to be a part of their children's life as long as they can. It may be unpleasant and annoying but I would just humor her, otherwise you'll have bigger problems! ;) Everyone else, power to you...sorry I haven't been able to post long. And the next few days are looking hellish. Please wish me luck. sweet pea, princess, marble, curly, ktgk, carla, Stephanie, djstorey, Apple, girlie, Sushi, tia, JCT, a big hello to you all!!! :wave: Keep at it! :strong: |
REal quick good morning all. Princess - no, it is NOT cliched. People here do understand. We may all have different "issues" and reasons why we are overweight, or triggers, or whatever - but everyone here understands what food is to us. A lot of people don't get it, and think it is just about willpower or that we are lazy, or whatever. . .
I know Red. I should have just said something like, well when we get the chance. It isn't that I don't want her to meet them, it just seems weird at my age to make a special trip to trot them by her. She has also had the same request to meet my boss. Again, just makes me feel twelve. . . . Anyway, off to the gym. I am still feeling really tired, and cold all the time. i don't know what is wrong. Hopefully will find my energy somewhere. Have a great day all :wave: |
hi everyone
so far i have managed not to binge but like red i will wait until the day is over before i make that claim! i am going through a big transition at the mo. i am selling my house and trying to decide where to live. the stuff about your mum got me thinking jolly. my mother is a big issue in my life. she leans on me heavily and i am trying to find a way to cut the ties. i am trying to decide where to live and how to spend my life. all big stuff. i am trying to just take it one day at a time but it's a challenge. esp with food. the one day at a time with food doesn't work with me because i say oh it's only one day won't matter if i eat that, i'll just do better tmrw (and don't) i am going to go journal now. red tell me more about sitting with your feelings? i find if i sit there with my feelings i get maudlin and out of control. i find i have to consciously shut them off or i stay awake all night thinking about them and wake wretched after not much sleep. hence the journalling! i am hoping to knock the emotional eating on the head by getting my emotions out of me before they take me over journalling - day 3 achieved (very very soon!) binge free - i think i may have 1 day under my belt but i will confirm this tmrw morning princess - it's not just about pay offs altho that is certainly 1 reason people eat or stay fat. it's also about pleasure and pain. for example, the Pain of being fat may be less than the pain of rejection or the pain of dealing with uncomfortable problems or feelings also the short term pleasure of eating may outweigh the long term pain of being overweight then there is the pleasure in staying the same is greater than the pain involved in changing etc etc etc! to win you have to make the pain of staying the same far greater than the pain involved in changing. so you get yourself in the position where you believe NOT changing is bad and see change and better habits as the only solution. like looking at the risk of diabetes, heart disease, not being able to play with pets, children, friends, not feeling comfortable dating or having a lover. then you say all those things are much much worse than changing your lifestyle, eating and exercising. am i making sense here? i promise i will read everyone's posts tmrw :D jolly - good on you for going to the gym, but take care. it's not good to overdo if you are coming down with a cold or something nasty |
little bit more...
Ok, the cat came home and I was able to whisk her off to the vet, but had to wait 30 mins. Still, she's in for her monthly shot of painkillers. Two of my four have what is supposedly incurable gum disease and have to get painkillers. So, I didn't get any work done yet! and then I see more posts...
******************** jolly -- thanks for talking to princess. I just glanced through the posts and didn't see that part till you spotted it. Thanks. It always helps when someone can be there for you. As for your mother, weird or not, it just is. She's probably lonely. I doubt it's anything about her seeing you as a 12-year-old. But I feel your pain... ;) princess -- Jolly said it well. You come in and say anything. We DO understand, some better than others depending on the situation. And other people, though they may seem all fine and dandy now, and may well be, have been through similar things in the past and can relate very, very well to what you're going through. I would try to let your mother down very gently, maybe sit down and really talk to her like she is the child and can't be upset and ask her to try giving you more space and be specific, like, please don't call every day. Just make it every other day, or send email! And, there's nothing wrong with having your own space, which may be what your "being a hermit" is. Don't fret. So what? So, you want to be alone for awhile. And I agree with sweet pea, that it's not always about payoffs....I am NOT a Dr. Phil fan, sorry....there are so many other reasons, and the last thing people need is to feel guilty about the way they are...you go back and read that Declaration of Self Esteem, will ya? :hug: Things happen to us over the years. We find ways of coping. I'd say eating is not the worst of them.. there is far, far worse. But, instead of wondering about why you're doing something, I would just say, what CAN you do to feel better out with others or just being more however you want to be. Exercise is always good! :yes: As for English majors....well, I'm an editor/proofreader/writer...so if I say you can do whatever you please, and I DO, you have nothing to fear. This is not a writing contest. It's about expressing yourself and being heard, so please keep it up, with or without capitalization, punctuation or correct grammar! sweet pea -- Well, yes, I'm glad you asked, because my "sitting" and your "sitting" could be the same or they could be very different. So, let me think if I can figure just what my sitting involves. I ride horses and a lot of working with them (it's dressage) is about feeling, feeling, feeling just what they are doing, their back and legs through your own body and their mouths through your hands. It's about feeling and then acting on them to change their movement to better movement. It's like a dancer where you're teaching the person to dance by dancing with them....okay, now don't worry if you didn't understand that..just bear with me....anyhow, the correlation here with eating/bingeing/emotions is that in order to listen to the horse you can't let things get to you. If you can angry and it's reflected in what you do to the horse, beat on it, kick it, yank its mouth around, you are going to hit its panic buttons and you'll get no where good. But of course, a difficult horse, or untrained horse (like mine) is going to push all your buttons. You have to learn control and it's not easy....Okay, I see this in my eating life..that I have to remain calm, have to keep a cool head or things will get out of hand, the equivalent of the kicking, yanking is of course the bingeing, the excessive drinking, the shoveling junk food in your mouth. So, when I say "sitting" with your feelings, it's learning to kind of distance yourself from your feelings enough so you don't get wrapped up in them, but to get close enough to them so you recognize them, and then you think what you can do to make the situation better, keep it under control and then some. You become like an observer even though you're in the midst of it. You become like a psychologist has to be with a patient, involved but not wrapped up. If he/she gets wrapped up, he/she can't truly help. Case in point: the other night I'm out drinking with some coworkers. The one guy was extremely argumentative, always has been, but worse these days. Really bullshit stuff too, like he was raging but thinking he was making good sense. Although I was thinking, what the heck am I doing here listening to this ranting?!...I was too entrenched in my seat to just get up and leave..finally I did, but only because they were leaving too. Now, the thing is that normally this would have set me onto a feeding frenzy, making the pain, the anger, the whatever go away. Instead I just sat back and thought about how ridiculous the whole situation was and that I just won't go there again, put myself into that situation. So, I was taking control, not feeling it was my fault for his behavior...I did say some stupid things, but what the heck!... So, I think the thing is that though you may sit WITH the feelings, you don't cuddle with them. You put them down on the couch and you hear them out. It's like sitting with someone, a friend, who is in a lot of pain. You wouldn't start wailing with her, would you, you'd try to keep your cool (though that may mean shedding some tears too), you'd talk to her, tell her you know it hurts etc. etc. You'd just say, damn, that's tough, I wish I could take away your pain, or let me know if there's anything I can do, and maybe you'd go for a quiet walk together or just sit there quietly, read together, listen to nice quiet music...but you most probably wouldn't say...but I don't think you'd say..."heh, do you want to eat an entire bag of cookies?" or "what do you say we stuff donuts in our faces?" or "how about we just eat an entire gallon of Haagen Dazs each" (sorry for the food porn, people) would you??? :nono: No way! You wouldn't suggest that to a dear friend, but you'd do it to yourself...well, maybe not you personally, but I have been known to do those things..."heh, do you think there's anything good in the garbage can....I think I threw out some leftovers before...." I don't know, but can you understand what I'm trying to say?...I'm sorry, I'm really so tired and must get to bed. My work is going to have to wait. Well, hope that helped a bit. If not, let me have another go at it sometime, ok? Take care, k? :hug: |
Hello everyone.
Wrapping up Day 4 with my eating plan. it's been going good the past two days, but tomorrow will be tougher. It's steak day again. Yuck. And I think I've notched Day 4 on an exercise challenge as well (alternating running and stationary bike). I'm a bit hesitant to mention it because I'm not sure I'm going to continue, and I'd hate another failed challenge. Job search is not going good, and that's making me feel crap. I have $105 and not a penny more. I finally heard back from my agency, but no good news. They're basically saying that I can forget getting any job through them in the next few months. Which sucks. |
Well, day 2 went well, dranks lots of water and no donuts, however, blew it this morning :mad: . I've got to learn to control that emotional eating! I made an appt to get my hair done almost 2 weeks ago for the first time in a year and woke up all excited this morning because today was the day! Anyways, got to the coffee pot and found a note from my husband who comes home after I go to bed saying that he had to get up early to do a job (has a side business). Of course, he was my babysitter! I had just reminded him about my appt before he left for work yesterday and he immediately forgot and scheduled someone in. I'm happy he got the job, we need the money, but I sure was looking forward to the treat of having my hair done again. Anyways, feeling sorry for myself, I had half a small donut. Won't kill me on calories for the day, but here is my first pause day. Maybe I'll get lucky and will get a new appt sooner than 2 weeks this time.
Red balloon- I like what you said about "sitting" with your feelings. Never thought of it that way before but it makes sense and is something that I try to do, although sometimes I get wrapped up in those feelings and it can be sooo hard to unwrap! Anyways, good job on the walking, jogging and weights :cp: ! Ktgk- good job for the day :) . It seems that everyday you have a good one, it makes you want to have another and it makes it a little easier to let go of the bad days! Stephanie- Instead of thinking about being back to square one, think about all you have learned about yourself over time. Kind of like that commercial about quitting smoking, don't know if you've seen it, but it basically says to not consider yourself a failure for the times you've tried to quit and didn't, consider it practicing to succeed. Everytime I've tried to lose weight, I've learned something new about myself which I can then try to put into practice to be more successfull next time. This time around for me, I feel that I have soooo much more knowledge than I did the last time so my chances for success are increased! Princess- you definitely are NOT alone in those feelings. We've probably all shared alot of those bad feelings at one time or another. It's great you can put those feelings out there and talk about them. It really helps to get them out in the open. And hey, don't worry about the pause. I bet everyone has them, I'm on one today and besides, you're not giving up! You're still here and being accountable. That's a good thing. Well, baby is up, so I'm off to start the day. Hope everyone has a good one! Joyce |
Wow, tons of good stuff here and I need to re-read everything again whenI have time.. But I did want to send out a big thank you to everyone...and a big support back to you for our challenge here and the home/work challenges we are all facing right now. I will be back later...thanks...l
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Feeeeeeeelings, nothing more than feeeeelings....trying to forget mmmmyyy FEEELINGS of...............(insert word herelove, fat, food, french fries,ice cream, sour cream_______________)....
If misery loves company, count me in....I feel quite poopy myself (even if I AM a princess!)...and RB how could you ask? it's always first class for me...(in my dreams) or I can ride in the belly of the plane with the pets and luggage. Although my head seems to be permanently lodged in the garbage disposal, I have accomplished so much on a day off from work.... And maybe someone can help me with a solution for a terrible problem...I have very deep colored green carpet...that has terrible stains from the poor dog's last days...sorry to be graphic, but it was body fluids, blood, stomach acid...I can't remove them, I've tried every commercial cleaner...I'm not shampooing yet because I thought hot solution might set it permanently (blood is cold water treatable)...I've gone through 2 cans of Spot-shot which usually does the trick.....any ideas would be appreciated. Sushi, I hope you find something today and de-stress too. good luck! |
Day 3 - Journaling
Hey!:)
You all are wonderful to be around. It's so good to share my feelings with y'all because you all understand most of where I'm coming from and give good advice. I have successfully completed 2 days of journaling. djstorey - thanks for the encouragement. It's true that I have learned a lot from all of the start-overs. I have really made exercise a part of my daily life over the last 4 years. I am on my way (62%) to reaching the gold medal in the Presidential Fitness Challenge and hope to reach it by my one year anniversary of starting the challenge in August. It's just the eating part that is so hard to nail down. I would love to be one of those people who only ate when they were hungry, but I eat at various times based on my feelings (and we know as women how much those can change throughout a day even!). You made me smile when you said that you missed your hair appt - the only one you have scheduled in a year. You sound like me. I may get my hair cut twice a year, if I can afford it. Sorry you missed your appt.:( Princess - hang in there with the emotional eating. I think Red is right when she speaks of acknowledging your feelings. Last night I was re-reading an old Prevention Mag and a writer was talking about that same thing. What are we trying to prevent from feeling by our overeating? Right after dinner each night I eat 1 cup of sherbet. It is my treat to myself and I reserve calories/points for it, but last night it did not satisfy me so I ate a lime freeze bar too. After I read that article it got me to thinking, "why did I eat that in addition to my sherbet?" And it hit me that my son had a little more work to do and needed my assistance with part of it. Usually after my sherbet dessert, I go upstairs to read and relax before bedtime. But with the additional chore, I felt the need for a little more sugar to reach the end of my day. I needed the additional energy (or thought I did ;)). Anyhow, maybe after embarking on an emotional eating junket, you should give yourself time to figure out what is at the root of it. Then before you know it, you'll be working on figuring out what the problem is before you overeat. :) Hang in there! Red, congratulations on your success. :carrot: You are a thoughtful person and helpful in your suggestions. You seem to have a handle on your emotions and an interesting way of sorting through them. Jolly - congratulations on your success too. With regards to your mom, sometimes it is hard to get your folks to see you as a grown-up. I am close to my Mom and still she will get on my nerves. I think it's the nature of Moms to see us as their perfect creations and when something mars that image, they feel a need to correct it. Case in point, I will still get the occasional pimple. I hate it, but whenever I see my Mom with one, she always feels a need to point it out. She'll say, "what's wrong with your face?" or "what's that on your face?" (Duh, it's a pimple, Mom!) :dizzy: She's not being mean, she's just thinking "what's happened to my beautiful creation? Let me try and fix it." Be patient with her, because I don't think she's doing it to be mean or overly critical. Sushi, it sounds like things are going well for you. Sorry about the job search, but things will turn around soon. Hugs to the rest of you: Katherine, Sweetpea and Caro! :hug: God bless you all and keep moving towards your goal! |
I hope everyone is doing well!
Day 4 for me I didn´t choose my food out too well, but at least I didn´t overeat. I´ve got about 1/2 L water to go for the day... I´m going to stretch and do some floor exercises after I´m done here, but other than that I´ve covered activity, too... I hope I choose better foods tomorrow. --Katherine |
Thursday morning here. Early. Gotta leave soon. Just wanted to say that I notched Day 2 yesterday and I am now striking out on Day 3. dj, Steph, thanks! Talk to you later people. Though when I get home today I have a ton of work that absolutely MUST get done. Deadline crunch. :stress:
Gotta fly! :wave: |
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