Amazingly Anxious Annie's!
 

hi everyone!:)
this group is for people who suffer anxiety disorders like general anxiety disorder, panic disorder, social anxiety disorders and all the others. suffering is hard enough, but its helpful to struggle w others that know what youre going through so if you have any of these issues please feel free to come and share w us and gain, help, support encouragement and understanding and oph yeah, venting too!:)

a bit about me: im 34, and im live on long isl;and ny and i suffer panic disorder for several years now mostly due to post trauma.

Anxious Diva :-) -- LONG POST
 

Great job getting this going, Andrea. :hug:

Well, I have had issues with my nerves since I was a child. Over the years, there have been P-L-E-N-T-Y of things that have made it worse (which I won't get into here because it would take YEARS) but I didn't start medication for the first time until 1999. My ex-husband and I were separated then and he was also serving a stint in Korea (he was Army) so I was very young (19), alone, devastated and scared in a brand new place (I am originally from Ohio). Zoloft was the first drug of my doctor's choice, along with Klonopin (sp?). This is when I started putting the weight on and being so obsessed with food.

I got to a point where I felt stronger, so I stopped taking the drugs and soon went into an emotional tailspin. The divorce was difficult and dragged on for 2 years, I had little money and no family nearby. SO - back to the doctor I go for more Zoloft. I was on and off different levels of it (I think I have blocked out much of that time) and the first time I started trying to date a new guy, I had what seemed like a heart-stopping, stomach cramping, nauseating, cold-sweating, WTF-is-this panic attack. And I had no idea what it was. :?:

Several misdiagnoses later, I moved from Zoloft to Buspar. I also got into trouble with my doctor because without doing my homework on Buspar, I went and had a few cocktails near my house (playing it safe - yeah right, I know better now) and ended up getting Alcohol Intoxication thanks to the reaction of the pills and liquor.

Talk about a VERY humbling experience......

She gave me a BIG lecture and threatened to stop seeing me, so after I promised that I would not be that stupid again (which I haven't), she added Lexapro to my regimen. I am now taking the lowest dose of both Lexapro and Buspar (1 pill a day of each) and have been attack-free for about 2 years.

I still have my moments of stress - being a redhead doesn't help :^: - but it hasn't been nearly as bad as it used to be. Of course, I've been getting fat as I've gotten happier, so go figure!!!!


Anyone else care to share their stories or can relate to mine? :yes:

I'm 22, and really started having issues about 4 years ago. I didn't know what was going on, but I couldn't quite catch my breath and I felt really edgy. It wasn't that bad, so I didn't tell anyone anything. Three days later and it started getting worse. I was scared, and told a few friends and then my mom. I didn't let on how bad it was getting. I was unable to speak a complete sentense, and then my friend noticed. They took me to the hospital thinking I was having some kind of asthma attack. By the time I got there and settled down I felt pretty good again, so of course the doctor didn't find anything.

That was the first place they told me I had a anxiety attack. I had a few others...each getting a little worse before i finally spoke with my doctor. It was there that they diagnosed me with Asthma induced anxiety attack. I am sure each anxiety attack is painful, but they determined that when I have an anxiety attack my lungs actually start to close up. It isn't very dangurous, because the worst that can happen is I'll get worked up and pass out from lack of oxygen. In that state I'm fine again though lol. I never thought that would happen, but that actually happened this past summer. It sucked!

I've been having real bad issues this year. Just childhood stuff I don't want to get too much into now. Part of it is I had learning disorders that really screwed everything up for awhile, and is of course still making it really difficult for today.

Ok, so thta is enough for now. I need to start getting ready!

hi you guys!!
thanks for coming and sharing!:)

hows your anxiety today ladies? mines ok but ive given up on braces....i cant get them on unassisted and theres no one here much of the time. plus i cant get pants on over them easily and they dont fit well over pants plus i cant ambulate w them w/o crutch assistance so no way!

diva:thats so horrible!! my 1st 1 felt like a heart attack too. i was in a car accident and was almost nearly 'harmed' by a not so nice person and now by biggest triggers are drs, medical settings, and loud noises.

Helloooooooooooo
 

hi everyone

glad i found you guys. i;m just munching right now but will be back with my life story LOL:hug:

back again hehe

well a little about me. i think i have always had anxiety issues. it's affected huge chunks of my life. my love life, sports, socialising and just generally getting things down. i spend a lot of time worrying about things that will never happen!!!

i often lay awake for hours and when i do sleep i tend to have a lot of nightmares. in my dreams i am so busy that when i wake up i feel exhausted ;)

my original diagnosis was depression. then they decided bipolar but since then they have recognised that anxiety drives me and has a huge affect on me. i take pills for anxiety and depression which help take some of the edge off but by names stop the depression or anxiety.

for me the anxiety is constant feelings of agitation. i startle easy. i panic easy and get upset over small things. i have a low threshhold of frustration and noises upset me. a lot of the time i am so agitated and irritable that it's like my head is full of static and i can't think from all that is going on.

today has been a bad day. i have felt irritable grumpy and out of sorts for absolutely no reason. also pretty tired and sore eyes etc

today when i was out i picked up some fish oil caps to help with mood and my clicky joints. also an iron supplement to see if i can boost myself

i'm afraid when i am tired and low i reach for sugar. i know it is the wrong solution but in that moment the pain i am experiencing is so bad i am convinced that food or drink is the only thing that will make me feel better :D

i have depression and generalised anxiety disorder + a few other diagnoses as well hehe that i will keep to myself for now

the other thing is that i am often tense. i clench my teeth so much that i am always at the dentist getting them fixed. i broke 3 teeth last yr from clenching! i am currently doing weekly massages to try and deal with the physical tension. plus it's nice! and i have lots of hot baths to relax.

off for a walk now but i will come back and read everyone else's stories soon

i am really looking forward to being with other people who experience similar issues and sharing our stories. a lot of the time i find it hard to explain this to other people as they don't really understand!!!

hi sweet pea!:)
oh my gosh, most of what you said is me esp the startle thing, the noise thing and the tension! do you have tmj? i do. im sorry you felt so bad yesterday....i do hope today is better:) i love massage, but im at my witts end trying to find one thats appropriate for me!

how ya doin today tess?
tgif guys!

morning adnrea. no to the TMJ altho my jaw does click a bit (not enough to be a problem)

yday i just wanted to scream there was so much noise around me. plus a month ago i moved from the country to the city so i am still adjusting to all the extra sounds. not sure how long i will last LOL. i like being convenient to things but i need my peace and quiet too!!!

this morning i don't feel quite so irritable but i haven't been up long. the clonazepam knocks me out. dogs woke me at 3am when some ppl were outside so i let them out. didn't wake again until 10 and there was a humungous dump in the lounge. looks like 2 dogs worth. and of course it wasn't a nice dry one. it left skid marks on the carpet so wasn't a great start to the day LOL ;)

i get a shiatsu massage as it is gentle. i've had firm ones and been in agony for days after as i carry so much pain and tension in my muscles. was not a happy camper. this lady is japanese and i like her. i guess you just have to tell people what you want and like. andrea what sort of massage do you think would be appropriate for you?

hi guys!")

hey sweetpea! im so sorry youre havin a rough day.yeah i hate noise too. that clozo whatever you said...is that xanax?

sup tess? dawn you hear yet?

how ya doin diva? sorry bour head!

clonazepam = klonopin or Rivotril i think. It helps with anxiety but has a heavily sedating effect so it helps me sleep.

In a perfect world I would like not to take drugs. Has anyone tried a super healthy diet for anxiety and found it helpful? theoretically exercise and diet should help anxiety but i haven't stuck at it long enough in recent years to put it to the test LOL

haha just read your post Diva talk about similar experiences hehe. I lost a job because I had prozac + wine and didn't know that it potentiated the effect. so it was like i had 3-10x the amount of alcohol and I went crazy. Did all sorts of unforgivable things, got in a fight, propositioned my staff and told them they had to sleep with me. oh the power of it all!!!

interesting about weight gain. i wonder if the clonazepam - klonopin affects my weight? i definitely think citalopram/celexa does. the biggest gain came tho when i was on antipsychotics for my nightmares

sorry..... i dont feel that diet/exercise could replace it. ive never heard of that. i mean, exercise helps but it doesnt do it all

im on xanax at night along w 10 mg flexeril

sweetpea:i get deep tissue/medical massage

i haven't heard of flexeril. i will look it up. ok looked it up and it says it's a muscle relaxant??? that sounds good i should ask my doc about that. i am seeing her on friday and want to reevaluate my meds. they just aren't working

do you like the deep tissue massage? i find it is too much for me. it hurts too much as i have so much tension and pain.
do you have fibromyalgia? it sounds like it with the meds but i am just guessing lol

i know someone with primary depression but also anxiety and she radically increased exercise and ate only super healthy foods. lots of smoothies vege juice raw fruit and veges and all organic. cut out sugar coffee etc etc. she said it helped her a lot.

several of the books i have read say that anxiety is an adrenal issue and that sugar aggravates it so eliminating sugar is supposed to help with symptoms.

i have also used CBT to change my thinking. i went to millions (ok about 8 therapists) of various kinds that were no help but through my reading and learning i started teaching myself to think differently and to stop catastrophising. it helps. certainly doesn't get rid of it. but it's part of the puzzle

i actually wrote a book on stress management. it's not a bestseller LOL i wish it was and i learned a lot in the process. altho i am always learning so one day i will revise it. i hope it sells enough for the publisher to order a reprint or to sell it to other countries.

andrea i sent an email to you yday but i got a message it still hasn't been delivered. i guess your mailbox is full? or the aol server is down?

hi sweatpea!:)

yes its a MR.....ivegot cerebral palsy so the flex is for that:) good luck friday! do you mind if i ask a ? do you have to see the dr often to renew your meds? i do and i hate it bc bein in there brings out my anx....good thing he can handle anx and cp!

did you use andreaphilip3 or illip3 cuz theres only 1 l.....

i only have to see my doc every 3 mo to renew meds but i sometimes have to go more often to get forms completed for my ins co.

i don't mind going to the doc. i do get anxious. i spend days (or weeks depending on waiting list) rehearsing what i am going to say and going over and over all my worries and fears but the actual apptmt is ok. i like my doc she's really lovely and helpful. plus it gives me someone to talk to who actually understands how i feel and what's going on. most of my friends can't relate . they're very practical people and very physically active. one lives next to a dancing school, i'd have to move. the noise would make me want to scream or even be violent. it just upsets me so

what i hate is taking meds. i sometimes skip them and if i can i will reduce the dose. if she tells me to take 2 i'll try to get by with only 1. and i go for periods where i don't take them and then either get suicidal or raging with anger and wanting to kill everyone and everything or completely overwhelmed and can't cope

i replied to the email you sent, so it went to that email addy. andreaphilip3

I had some wine tonight and it relaxed and cheered me up big time. If only I could have it every day... it really does help. But of course that leads to it's own problems.

I had a healthy dinner followed by 2 desserts LOL. Still it could be worse. At least I had some moments where I felt good and I did do a little dancing after dinner too. A good end to the day. It's after 1am here on Sunday morn so I have to go to bed. Altho I will probably read for a few minutes first. Hope everyone else had a good day.

hi sweetpea. still no mail. weird. im sorry youre strugglin today. me too!

it's a new day here today. so far i am doing ok. let's hope it continues

what do you do for self-help when you are struggling? perhaps we can swap tips. weird about the email but i guess it will turn up lol

i think you asked if i had OCD and i said no but i have OCD tendencies. i also have a personality disorder so lots going on. Guess the same is true of you and the CP! Do you work? have a family? I am on my own except for my gorgeous pets who bring love and sunshine into my life. I don't have a job altho I am hoping to finish a book I am writing. I have several that I have started at various times in the last 10 yrs. Sometimes it is hard to know which to work on or whether they are viable.

hey!

lol im sure it will! was just curious cuz it s-o-u-n-d-e-d like ocd but my apologies i was wrong...i never claimed to be a dr tho:D

yea ive def. got cp alright.... the pd is digging a dark hole of trouble lately and m not sure how to pull myself out....

no need to apologise!!! as i say i have OCD tendencies so you were on the right track. It's just not quite enough for an official diagnosis and I have pulled back on things. I force myself to keep driving even tho I am desperate to go home and check that the gate is shut and locked, that the door is locked, the garage is closed, the fence hasn't fallen over and the dogs haven't run away. Eventually by not giving in I would get better because I would get home and everything would be ok and I would know all my fears are irrational.

pd is hard to get out of. hmmmm feel free to share what you are comfortable with. I have a psychology degree (wanted to understand myself and others better) and wrote a book on stress mgmt so I've learned a few things along the way. Trouble is a lot of the time I know what I should do and have trouble applying it. All I can say is I am getting better all the time. A few steps forward and a couple back. I am zig zagging towards my path - it's not a straight road

Last year my resolution was to make real life friends as opposed to online ones and do something social each week. It took my several months to get there including weeks on end where I just hid at home. In fact that's the second year I made the resolution so it took me almost 2 yrs to achieve it. I counted anything that was going out as social. So if I took the dog to obedience lesson = social. If I met my mother in town for a few minutes = social.

thanks sweetpea....sometimes ive trouble w sharin my feelings but i will try. its aweful what we go through isnt it? im a mess ive been eating non stop since yesterday.:( i know i must stop tommorrow. hope youre well!

thanks !
i had a couple of glasses of wine and felt better. but i did OD on pineapple lumps which i will be paying for. i'm the same i keep eating when i am in emotional pain. this morning i looked in the mirror and could see a double chin is starting to show. NOT HAPPY

that might scare me into change...

Hi Andrea!! I joined just for this thread! I'm so happy you started it!
My name is Dawn its my first post here at 3 chicks. I'm a friend of Andreas.
This is a great link. I have Social Anxiety and OCD and I have been diagnoised with depression.
I have the panic attacks at work in meetings, I sweat, my heart beats really fast and I have to leave the room. I feel like I will just scream something out or passout. Its a horrible feeling.
I was on meds for a month but I hated them so I'm completely off meds. I thought I was doing better until recently. I'm not sure where to turn now. I don't know if I should take meds and go to a doctor or try to be strong and do it on my own.
Meds and Dr's are expensive.....
Well very nice to meet everyone here. Thanks for the link Andrea!

hi dawn!!
we are glad you came!!! i know youve been struggling lately too, join the club! heheh.(sorry just a joke but its not really funny)

we need to all hang in there!:)
hi sweetpea! i know, ive been oinking out all weekend and now im really sick:(

:welcome: dawn glad you joined

oh diane i do the same thing. i have to keep writing myself a note to remind me that eating crap gives me diarrhoea ;) and a double chin. maybe that will wake me up!

off into the sunshine. it's good for my mood

HELLO ALL! :welcome3: to Dawn!!

Diane and Sweet - I hope you ladies are having a good Monday. I hate to hear when you're struggling but please let me know if you need an ear to :listen: because I know what you're going through. It's strange the peace you find in the comfort of strangers.....at least for me, anyway.

P.S. Sweet, I am with you on the double chin thing - it is my daily motivator everytime I look in the mirror or at a recent picture of myself. It really makes me feel disgusted with myself that I let it get to that point, but I take a bit of comfort in the fact that I am at least doing something about it....

I think it was sweet pea that talked about this, but the trouble I find myself having the most with is sleeping. Sweet, can you remember your dreams? Oftentimes I can't, but I know they are just horrible and I wake up a bit hysterical. Times like that I wish I had a roomate in here!

Well, talking about having wine and such...I've decided to really try to stay away from Alchole for awhile, at least for a few weeks. I had some last week when I started taking this med. (opps, not supposed to do that) and it kind of messed me up. That was stupid of me. Also, I know drinking can make depression worse, and we have a lot of alcholism in my family.

I've finally started feeling more like myself. good day so far! I hope the rest of you are doing ok!

Keep Diane in your thoughts...it seems as she is having a bad day :(
((((((Diane))))))))

Oh yes, and welcome Dawn! :)

hi ladies,


thjank you tess(((((((( ))))))))

Diane, feeling any better yet?

Hey girls, what do you do during an anxiety attack. What do you do to calm down?

Grrr...ya know how I just said I am having a good day, and I think I'm better. Just a few minutes ago I started feeling it again. It feels like I can't quite catch my breath. I have absolutly nothing to be upset about right now! Grrrr! I hate this. It isn't bad, and as long as I stay calm I'll be fine. I don't want to take a med...

Just wondering what you do? Sometimes I just try to keep my mind off it. sometimes cleaning seems to help me calm down. If I'm able I'll actually go and excercise. Other times i will sit down for a good book.

my happy place and mirrors
 

oh the double chin is revolting. it's only just starting but it still is enough to put fear into me. my face is the one part of me i worry about. i do a daily wrinkle check but the double chin was one wrinkle i was not expecting.

in my last house i didn't have a full length mirror but i moved in dec and now i have 2 huge mirrors in the bathroom that show my enormous puku and my double chin to great effect. it is revolting. i need to clean the blackboard in my toilet (i know strange) and write a note in there. chocolate = double chin. that might remind me to eat right. **** i should put the notes everywhere, why stop at the bathroom? that way all my guests can snicker at my dilemma and helpfully suggest i don't have a second helping of pizza or chocolate. friends are good like that. they can make me feel doubly guilty so that after they have gone i can drown my sorrow in tubs of ice cream with chocolate sauce dribbling down my chin and a bottle of wine at the ready. it will be fun!

My focus this week – not looking in the mirror.

Yesterday my anxiety was at about 8 or 9 out of 10.
Right now things are ok but this morning I was not in my happy place.

I had the most awful nightmares. In the first one everyone was telling these 2 other women that they were goddesses and completely ignoring me. And they were huge! Even more obese than me hehe. I was sooooo upset. I felt completely invisible and really frustrated and unworthy. It was a nasty dream. But the second dream was even worse. I was in a strange place and I was in danger. There was me and another person and we were both trying to escape being raped and beaten. I guess I have to stop watching Law & Order and SVU Special Victims. No more murder mysteries for me.

Then after a night of not much sleep and not particularly enjoying the sleep I had I got up to go to the toilet. Both the dogs were waiting outside my bedroom door which is a really bad sign when they’ve only been inside 6 hours. And then the smell wafted to me. Two ruddy great giant poops. And one of them was all runny and squealchy. I had to clean it all up and disinfectant. Definitely NOT in my happy place.

Then I went outside to collect the dogs and put the dog poop in the rubbish and Jasmine was so excited to see me she was jumping up on me. I’d push her down and hold her in a sit and give her a pat and then she’d leap up again. She was biting my hand trying to get my attention and I was sending her evil death wish vibes.

Next I checked my bank accounts and discovered I had forgotten to transfer money for payment of my visa and got hit with a $15 dishonour fee. I will probably be hit at the other end too by visa – grrrrr. It’s my fault for not checking dates but payment is usually due on the 21st but it was early this month and I forgot to transfer money. So now I have to do a manual transfer and muck around.

Then I checked my emails and discovered that someone hadn’t done the paperwork in time to get a discount at this organisation I do voluntary work for. Crap! Now I have to go do some research and negotiate to try and get the discount again.

Then my friend arrived early for lunch, got here and burst into tears. On the plus side we had a good chat for a couple of hours and I felt better after because we had a good caring sharing sort of talk about our challenges with health etc but she changed her mind about wanting lunch so I was starving.

However the good news is I made myself a nice salad with bacon and my anxiety is now down to about 5 which is pretty good for me. Depression today is about a 3 which is outstanding! Let’s hope it lasts. It can change several times during the day. back outside into the sunshine I go.

Tessa - yes it was me that talked about the nightmares. i tend to remember my dreams altho often i wish i hadn't. you can try writing them down when they are fresh in your mind. sometimes it helps altho for me they are such confused and anxious dreams it is no help. for me it is an indication of our anxious i am. but i will also consider changing meds to see if it helps altho lord only knows i have tried a lot and so far no help. the massages are also designed to help.

yup i go through alcohol free patches too. it's a great idea esp if you have addictive tendencies (I do).

have you tried meditation. it's supposed to be the most effective long term help for anxiety and panic attacks. i of course am unable to still my mind to meditate but i find even breathing slowly will help.

well that was an essay - you can tell i'm an author ramble ramble ramble

lol sweet about being a author. I feel the same also. Are you a real author btw?

It really sounds like you had quite the day. Quite the aweful day, except for the friend (((((((((((((((Sweet)))))))))))))). I hope your night at least starts going well. My day was actually pretty good...the anxiety is all the way down again. I didn't take any of my meds.

The meds that I do take and have are; I'm currently taking birth control to help balance my hormones (which the doctor said might be causing some of my mood swings...just finished my first month of that a few weeks ago), Lorazepan (for bad anxiety attacks, take as needed, maybe have one a month...don't like it because it makes me too loopy, but they help), and daily I take Lexapro (for anxiety and depression).

I hope not to be on meds too long...just until I'm through this. I actually have my first counselor appointment tomorrow, so I hope to talk about that there too. I hope that goes well...gulp.

Hi guys. I am on late (for me) but I had a friend over tonight who is going through a divorce, and I tried to cheer her up by watching Bridget Jones, which means I did not get my workout in tonight. Right now I am talking to a friend of mine from work who is frustrated like me about where we are work-wise. Which means I am drinking wine and having a couple smokes and I know I shouldn't be, but welcome to one of my weaknesses. I just had a wrap with one slice each of ham, turkey, canadian bacon, and regular american cheese. I know that is not bad, but I really want another one, especially the longer this conversation goes. Otherwise, I am going to have another glass of wine and a smoke. AAARRRRGHHHHH!

Diva, it sounds like you had quite the day. You are a good friend. Don't feel too bad about the smokes and wine...just don't make a habbit out of it! lol...doesn't sound like you do. Hang in there!

hey guys,

hey tess, i try to just take my mind off of it but if its really really bad like in a drs office i usually have patient ppl w me that just try to calm me down by talking me through it or rubbing my back.
hey diva im sorry its been a bad day....
hiya sweet

are there imitation authors? are they like weight watchers ice cream but only for writers? no i'm real. pinches self. yes i exist LOL

i have a headache and altho i had a period in the middle of the day that was positive i am exhausted and sleep deprived so i will catch up on all the news later

diva the wrap sounds delish (even 2 of them LOL)

talk properly tmrw