I wouldn't know a thing about stress. This week was a killer at work. We are trying to close our house so we don't have to foreclose. In the meantime, our car is pretty much on its last leg and we don't have the money for a new one (but we are gonna have to). My mom is in jail for trying to kill herself again. My sister is talking about not wanting her fetal baby (5mo) and wants to kill it. CPS has been called in the past on her for numerous reasons including drugs and they haven't done one thing yet. If they ever did get taken away, I would inherit more kids and I'm already overwhelmed. I can't get my bipolar meds exactly right so that affects me. It takes a lot to get myself through the day and I have to take care of the whole damn world too.

Deafinly Smart~~ I am sorry to hear that you are having such a rough time just remember every family has its problems to deal with. I know mine has as well. The thing is though, it does get better...as the saying goes "when it rains, it pours" think may seem to be piling up but eventually it will stop!

Good grief... Its amazing what people can cope with though. It sounds like you're doing alright for what you have happening around you, Deafinly Smart! Just remember you cant control what other people do and think, and you have to do the best you can with your own problems first (we need to be on top of things before we can help anyone else up!) Just take it easy on yourself!

So yes.. The anal probe is on. *hangs her head* This week is going to SUCK. Im handing a note to the teachers asking for extensions, and on tuesday i cant eat anything but jello, broth, tea and strained juice. And then on wednesday i have to get up early and do an enema. Can you say colonic cleansing?! ARGH! Not cool! And then i have to go to the hospital! 0_O My mums driving me, but she cant stay cause she has work. So... i dunno. I guess im going to take a taxi home which is going to be uber expensive. And i hate jello. >.< My diet is on hiatus for the day! I asked for Pogos and by golly im going to eat them. *laughs* I want comfort food! And i dont want to wear a hospital gown! AHH! Fitgal, i dunno how you did it. I think my brain is about to implode! And this isnt anything near like what you had to go through. Although. Im not looking forward to it more, either :P I'll probably have a good laugh about it after, and it'll make a good story. But jeez! For being the tiniest organism possible in the human body - those amoebas are causing a lot of grief! lol! Stupid amorphus blobs...

Well. That aside things are going well. Sorry about the rant :P Maybe a day of liquid diet will be good for me... at least it'll be good for my skin! Ive been drinking more water lately (i bought a liter bottle that ive been trying to drink every day, working myself up to more).. Went out for indian food again with mah man last night which was good! Didnt over do it either! Only one plate! Had soup for lunch before that, and fruit and a yogurt for breakfast. Ate frosted mini wheats today and hot chocolate and half a pear. Mmmm.. so good! lol! My walk yesterday was good but today im going to be very lazy. Maybe i'll even do my homework to keep my brain busy!Whee! YAY POGOs! A.D.D. much?

It's not their thoughts I worry about, but rather the consequences that could come from it (ie, killing). We read about a woman killing all 5 kids and how they knew she had a mental illness before, but what freaking pisses me off is the family really can't do crap about it in some states. We can't get her put in a hospital. We've tried in the past. And regarding my sister, every member of the family has called CPS at some point. They have come to her house a few times, but they don't investigate (just talk). Last time when I called, they didn't even do that. It's ridiculous. This time my other sister walked into the office while she was there and talked to them. Nothing will happen. My mother could kill herself and we will all grieve, but I don't want anyone tramatizing those kids or worse, killing them. I should have posted this on the depression board, but I wasn't thinking.

Hey no! Its fine you posted here - things like that effect lots of areas in life... Your sister wouldnt consider putting her next up for adoption would she? Im sure you probably asked her that, but it never hurts to try again. Mm Still, for now you should concentrate on taking care of yourself, unless you feel like you can handle more!Theres only so much one can do, and its difficult when your entire family is having trouble, but try not to let it bog you down! My family had some rough times and some nasty diseases too, but after it passed i had the happiest years of my life! It was amazing how fast things turned around! Tough things out, and dont let them get the better of you, and you'll be alright (p.s. I think you might get better results looking on help forums for people wanting to help someone in distress rather than a depression board - you probably want to look for problem solving, not people compairing miseries! *laughs* I hope everything goes well, and the best of luck for you and your family! Things will get better, even if they take a little dip first...nothing stays the same forever!) I hope this helps a little, and some times every little bit helps even when it doesnt always seem that way! Take care of yourself!

Okay, so the store was out of Pogos yesterday. Maybe its for the best Im off to a good start today! I ate some 4 odd peices of leftover sushi from last night, and im about to have some Miso soup, green tea, a yogurt and a kiwi! Then its off to Yoga! Then my boyfriend's house where its not so easy to eat well But we'll see! Tomorrow i have late classes so i probably wont post until tuesday, if i have time. Tuesday,jello day is looming nearer. GAH! Maybe i'll weigh in and post again on wednesday :P Hope to hear from everyone else soon too! I think im going to try and have one day a week where i hop on the scale and update - i think it might help motivate me.. Anyone else wanna fix up one day a week where we all weigh in?

It does help not to have people comparing miseries. It's also something I can't just snap out of. I really am not concerned with what they think. I'm more concerned with my body's reaction to it all. I read somewhere that BP is like being sensitive to mood changes. If somethign makes you sad, you may stay really sad even though logically it is over. When I'm okay, I feel okay about all of it, but when I'm not okay I get so upset, sad, depressed, frustrated that I can't just react like I did before. It's like bricks are on my body. UGHH. Thanks for caring.

Hey ladies

Man so much so fast lol...
Miggles~~ People always seem to be be curious about "how I did it" well the only answers I have are, the second option was not even a consideration and the fact that there are so many things that I still want to do. I guess the latter is what pulled me through really, I just kept my eyes on the prize!!! lol...I totally feel for you with the whole hospital gown...they are sooooo ugly. Like how are people suposed to feel better when they are wearing those hidious things! Hey! maybe you could bring you own fun robe or something lol!!!

DeafinlySmart ~~ sure wish I could wave a majic wand and fix everything, but unfortuately I am not that magical! I am however able to be here to listen and give advice if needed. so post away!

Ok so this weekend for me was shot! I totally blew it...I don't know whats wrong with my brain sometimes...lol...My BF and I went out to celebrate our new house and well it lasted from friday until now for me...gerrrrr...pizza, drinks, dinner out, cheesecake, icecream...gerrrrr...I think I have trigger foods that do it...one taste and I am gone...hmmm sound more like and addiction...lol, but lets see, I think pizza, chocolate, icecream, fries, are what do it...I am addicted...first step is addmiting it right???? haha

Hey MIGGLES, I think a liquid diet may be a good thing...it could shrink your stomach, so then you will get full faster! I usually do a fruit and veggie diet after really bad eating days...like this weekend...it does nothing for weight lose (well I do lose water weight), but it does help me get back on track mentally and physically and I just feel totally clean on the inside!!! i know sounds strange, but hey ...

ok later gators!

OOoh my. Tempation everywhere. Im doing pretty well though, for not having solid food! Its really hard now that im home because i usually like to snack after school before dinner. Im living on water, consume (broth), cranberry grape juice, and i had a grape jello which i nearly gagged on :P LOL! I hate the texture! The taste was nice! But its just... the wiggling! I miss chocolate badly. Its amazing how much life revolves around food! Im in one part of town and think to myself : 'hey! They sell those awesome sweet and sour pork buns here! Maybe i'll just - Oh. Right.' *chuckles* I think itll be okay though.. As long as i get my food fix tomorrow after my little visit
I just took a hopefully not so accurate weigh in - Im presuming its water weight since its all ive had! lol! It claims i weigh 135 again. Pufft. Lies! all lies! ...... Ill weigh in again late this week when my diet is back to normal!OMG! im going to the hospital tomorrow! AH! *runs around like a headless chicken*

hey all!

I AM HAVING A FAT DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I totally look pregnant...well at leat I think so...I feel so bloated, I am not sure why, I am drinking and eating well...hummm...
I did well today, low fat muffin for breaky, applesauce for snack, salad and sanwhich for lunch and I am having a salad (or veggie soup) for dinner... maybe I just need more water...

FAT DAY! Ugh... Me too. *chuckles* So appearantly i weigh around 134 now.
And good lord that was unleasant. We discovered what we expected all along : my stomach is irriated. Yes. Let us just say it involved the phrase "look out! Cold finger." And i got to keep a picture of the walk though my colon. *chuckles* I also got some lovely(?) drugs to take three times a day for a week that appearantly are carcenogenic in mice. And that might not even do anything -_-. The doc took some little snippets of me and i guess i have to make an appointment with him for next week to get the results. And i love solid food. Its not even that bad having food liquified, its just that i couldnt even have that! I wonder if you can get over hydrated... lol! Anyway. My tummy feels pretty crappy right now and is rebelling in a big way. Im torn between wanting to take care of myself better and sampling all my favourite unhealthy foods! lol! Talk about appreciation for your body... I immediatly ate a chocolate bar and went out for greek food :P For dinner... i think i want vegetables. And then a bran muffin! Heck yea!!! Something tells me this is exactly the motivator i needed... getting sick makes you realize how lucky you are when you're healthy again, or you have been in the past! Cravings seem so inconcequential when your worried about your health :P Kinda puts thing in perspective! Thats not to say that im not going to stuggle with them still!

New beginning! less sugar, less starchy food, more water and veg friuts,and fiber! (the fiber will be taken in muffin form with chocolate chips, to please the pallet ) This also means less eating out! No more food i dont know how its prepared (Mmm double deep fried chicken fingers in lard anyone? I kid you not. Im never eating there again.) I think im changing my goal to get down to 117 or so, so i'll be right in the middle of the healthy weight range for people my height.. Maybe i'll learn to swim. Maybe i'll bike more when its warmer. I think im going to write a to do list Not all of it will get done, but at least i'll have some more goals, and goodness knows you feel good when you achieve them! First goal ive already decided! Drink 1 liter of water a day! Starting today! (who knew an anal probe could get you to evaluate your life so much! LOL! ) Tootles for now ladies! Thanks for reading this far! high five for getting through it!

Miggles!
glad that everything turned out to be OK!!
Yesterday deispite the fat day was over all a good day! I had my check up and all great news!!! speaking of fiber. Have you tried the all bran bars, they are actually pretty good! High fiber!! Just a thought to mix things up with the muffins!

Today has gone great as well, been eating wll, I need to also increase my water intake! I find drinking from bottles easier for some reason. At he gym I did a one hour work out. 40 mins cardio, 20 mins abs/low back! yay!

well gotta go pack...I move in 3 weeks WEEEEE

Ha! Fitgal, you waste no time in replying OR moving! Thats so soon! 0_o Thanks for the bran bar idea! I didnt know they existed actually.. lol! Right now im on a bit of a muffin craze, because they're so easy to make, and they're a nice treat for me (baked goods always are). I know what you mean about the water bottle thing too - ive been using an Evian 1 liter bottle, and refilling it with filtered water. Its good because i reaaaaally suck at measuring and guesstimating how much ive had, so this way i know for sure if ive had enough today! I used to get headaches and stuff a lot because i was only drinking like.. three juice boxes a day.. Tut tut. Its gonna take a while to get used to the bathroom breaks though! LOL! Ah well.. soon enough!

Ok SERIOUSLY ladies!!!!

I have no idea what the heck is going on with my body this week. I hav enot lost much of anything and I am eating superbly and excerising my but off!!! GERRRR!!!! anger!

lol-- hope you all are doing better than I am!!!!

Patience! *laughs* I bet you're not looseing weight because you're gaining muscle from all the exercise! It'll show up soon, Fitgal! Hopefully ill be doing the same! I promised mah man i would go ice skating with him this weekend I havnt been on skates since i was a kid, so this should deffinatly be interesting, and painful. This sunday is my last Yoga class that i signed up for, but i think im going to try and go to the drop in gentle hatha yoga class, which happens to be the one right before the class im going to know! yay! We'll see if i can afford it though!
Ive been eating really well since i had my little "detox diet" and at least one of my meals a day envolves mostly vegetables, if not the entire meal! Been drinking my liter of water, like i wanted, and i already kind of feel thirsty if i dont get that much! I also wrote a big list of things i want to try doing and encorperating into my week, as well as some long term goals i want (ie learning to swim! Planting a garden in the front yard (which doesnt even have grass now), and stuff like that!) Anyways its been a nice couple of days, and im slowly getting back into my groove of awesomeness at school, and getting less stressed out now that things are being dealt with!Super heavy meds seem to be working for now (though i have this NASTY taste in my mouth, like im eating dandylions all the time). Otherwise, YAY life! Pretty happy right now! Feeling optimistic! And i weigh one pound less! lol! Tootles for now Ladies, and I hope all's going well!