I was going to check back in yesterday... but i had some kinda nervous break down thing... it was bad.. but i am better today.. i just have this over whelming feeling of depression come over me.. i know that gram is not going to be with us much longer.. but i am not sure how much i can handle.. I am still trying to deal with my mom being gone.. i am losing my mind.. well on some days...
so eating has been bad... i just cant seem to get myself out of this depressed place that i am.. somedays i think ok i feel good things are going to start to get better.. but it only lasts a moment...i think my hubby i worried because he just keeps telling me to take things slow... he worries.. but i think this is one reason i cant seem to get things undercontrol.. but someday i will..
anyways,,, the girls are going to love dance.. my daughter was in dance for 4years and she just loved it... we had to take her out when we moved and we havent had the money to put her back in...
thank goodness its friday no work tomorrow... just sleeping in...yippy.. well have a great night.. i will check back in the am.. carly
Carly, my feet are killing me! A marathon night of shopping with Tiana. We got some school clothes for her and a dress to wear to her grandma's funeral tomorrow. My body is ready to die. I still have to find her some tennis shoes, another couple shirts, and some undies. I am having a heck of a time finding dresses for Kayla. All they have are these short short little plaid school girl skirts. I just picture Britany Spears in hers and I think "sleazy". Plus Kayla is a frilly kind of girl. She likes the fancy stuff.
I didn't do bad today eating. The things I may have screwed up on got worked off at the mall. I didn't get snacking in either. My sisters' and I worked on our quilts today. We almost got 2 done. We're going to sell them and see what kind of money we can make.
I better go to bed. I'm too pooped to pop. And I better get the house picked up tomorrow before we have to leave for the funeral. I'll check with you tomorrow sometime.
HI GINNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you're lurking and reading. I haven't forgotten about you. I'm really really going to message you. Just too darn busy. I will catch up tomorrow or Sunday.
well sounds like you had a very busy day... I am sorry to hear about your daughters grandma.. my thoughts are with you..
well today I am going to start walking again and get my house under control.. I am going to watch my eating very closely. and try to figure out what triggers me to eat so much.. boring, depression... plan stress.. what ??? ya know.. I am going to try and take dairy completely out of my diet for 1 week i think i can do 7days.. and see how i feel.. i was suppose to do that anyways.. i just havent.. so starting today.. i am going to.. and i am going to put water back into my diet.. havent really been drinking enough of that either.. so that is my plan wish me luck...
try to keep your head up today.. I am thinking of you and your family..
Carly, I'm sorry for not writing back. I read your post, but never had time to respond. So when I clicked on the User CP...it didn't show back up. I thought I was the last one to post. I've been looking for the last 3 days and nothing.... I thought you forgot about me. What an idiot!
ANyhow, darlin'...I lost 2 pounds from last week. I am ecstatic. It's a pleasant change for me. I'll have to keep up with the exercise. I did fudge a couple times last week....Imagine what I could do if I didn't eat anything bad for a week. How's the walking going? Did you get your husband to join you? Mine won't. HE's got too much on his plate to do. I'll work on him some more...I'll break him down.
Did you quit eating the dairy? I was wondering how that was working out if you did? Let me know.
I gotta go. Kelly will kill me. if he sees me on the computer instead of getting dinner ready for when he gets home. I'll have to put on the cute and innocent act, and tell him I need to rest first.
How are you?? Sorry I havent been around to much.. been a bit busy.. trying to learn everything I can about this home schooling for my daughter. I have joined a homeschooling organization so that should help me along. a new adventure in my life.. but i think probably at this time in my life I do need this. keeps my mind busy...lol...
anyways, I havent gotten that good at the eating thing ...but not as bad as i have been so thats good.. no havent dropped the dairy yet... i dont know what to have to substitute.. i dont like the soy stuff..
I have been walking for 1/2 hr everynight.. while my daughter rides her bike .. we figure that is like her gym time... so we will need to figure out some other physical activities that she and I can also do.. once the cold weather gets her.. any ideas would be greatly appreciated..
well i hope all is well... and i bet you are doing great... keep up the good work.. i will try to check back later...
Carly, well I sent the kids off to school today. All I'll have at home is Nicole until 2:25 this afternoon. This'll be strange. Maybe I can get alot done.
Heck, it isn't even 9 am and I already have clothes folded. I'm not used to moving before 9. I went shopping with my sister last night. I don't know why, but I had 2 panic attacks while I was with her. Maybe I do need to be higher on the anti-depressants. I just don't know anymore. I'm sick of medicine but when I forget those or try to cut down...I have more panic attacks. I wonder what goes wrong in a person to make that happen all the time. What makes me so different than other people?
I'm going to behave today. I didn't eat much for breakfast. My tummy is kind of having an off day. So maybe I'll have a sporting chance at being good.
Exercise for you and your daughter for gym time. She might like to do some exercise videos with you. I've seen some for the younger people. YOu could check that out. Find a place where you can swim indoors. My daughters loved swimming lessons. If you have a YMCA in your area, they have programs for kids too. My daughter took basketball through the Y. Or there is soccer.
Anyhow, those are just a few idea. O...one other. Walk around the inside of a mall. That's good for some walking time.
I dont think you are really that different from other people... I think alot of people have your sames feelings and anxiety attacks.. if you need the meds to help you .. continue to take them.. I would rather see you taking something that makes you feel somewhat better then taking nothing at all.. and having panic attacks... i have had 2 of them in my life and i dont want anymore.. I dont take anything but sometimes i think i should..lol
thank you for the ideas on what to do with my daughter... I will look into all of them..
my eating was pretty good yesterday.. i also got a ton of stuff done at work.. and at home.. so i think that is a good thing.. not sure what got into me but hey what the heck.. enjoy it while it last,, right...
I wonder what happened to Michelle... i havent seen her in a while.. i hope all is well with her..
well you have a great day... i will check back later
Carly, It just makes me feel like a "weaker" person for not being able to handle everyday things without the benefits of prescriptions. I hate the panic attacks though. It feels like my world is crashing down and that I'm going to die and there isn't a darn thing I can do about it. I'm actually due for an appt. with my internist. I should see if there is something I can do. See if I need my dose adjusted or maybe some counseling. When I had a ton of odd scary...I"m gonna die...feelings before it was partly do to some damage that was happening with my liver. I do go in before the 14th of Sept. for my bloodwork...AGAIN! So that should tell me whether its my mind or something physical. I have bloodwork done every 3 months for my rheumatologist. He likes to keep a close eye on me since my medicines are classified as high risk meds.
I have really stunk at eating lately. My stomach has been off and nothing tastes good. So of course..I've been eating all the wrong stuff. I'll get back on track tomorrow again. I think I can handle it.
Ooops...janet is here. She nees some benadryl from me...
chris- you are not a weaker person... i do believe that maybe i should go and get something... because i think personally its better to beable to handle things(even if you takes med) then to not beable to handle things which is pretty much how i live my life these days.. so no you are not a weak person.. your just dealing with life..
you will do better with your eating.. everything has a way of coming together.. just have faith... your doing wonderful...
Hey Carly, It stinks so bad around here. There's a fire burning in some forest land about 40 miles away and the smell is about nauseating....
Not too bad around here. I did good with eating yesterday. I had cereal for breakfast. A salad for lunch and a wrap sandwich. And Chicken breast, and corn for dinner. Okay....I did average yesterday. I snuck some cookies. I get stressed or bored and I eat. One track mind here I guess... Wonder what I could do to differently. Bored I can handle. I can always find something to do but when I get stressed...i haven't a clue.
Today is another day filled with laundry and picking up. I swear that its a never ending battle. Maybe later I can work on my quilt. Jennifer almost has hers done. Janet had her quilt top done. So now its my turn to come up with a design. I got the first 3 rows sewed up and I think 5 more to go. I'm making a baby quilt. I'll take a pic of it when its done and attach it so you can see. I better go...i hear a battle happening upstairs.
well its pouing out here this morning... i didnt expect that.. anyways,, how is that fire did they get it put out.. I hate that smell ..
I know what you mean about getting stressed and all you want to do is eat.. i am so like that.. its that emotional eating thing... i think all women are built with it in them.. anyways, my weekend sucked... just because it was fight city here all weekend... maybe things will get better i certainly hope so..
My weekend was kind of busy. My mom keeps finding little mice in her house so me and my sister went over to help her clean up the little droppings and to just clean. My mom thought she found all the holes but we found a couple more where they were getting in at. I told her we had to get rid of a bunch of stuff and then go from there. They've been having a ball!!!
The fire is still burning but they're getting it contained. I hope they get it all done soon, my eyes are burning from the irritation too. YUCk!
Not much happening here. Work and kids...and getting all psyched up for when I start school next week. Friday I pick up my books. There's a pretty penny.
Well I'll chat at you later. Sorry you're weekend was bad. Hopefully the week evens out for you and the fighting goes away.
well things are really not to much better around here.. well we have teenage boys who think they can do what they want ... say what they want.. ect, ect. and it just gets old..
well i decided i would send my daughter to public school again... with things the way are are around here.. that will probably be her only out.. ya know.. I told her i would get more involved with her schooling this year.. last year was tough on me... with mom being sick, ya know.. so i wasnt as avaliable to her as i should have been.. she is not happy but she is dealing with it..
i told ya i am off my rocker...lol... anyways,,, good luck when you start school.. you are going to be tired... the eating thing has been ok.. not great but ok... i have been walking though so that is a plus..
well have a great day.. i have to get ready for work.. i will check back later..
good evening
I thought you forgot about me. What an idiot!
I'll work on him some more...I'll break him down. 
Wonder what I could do to differently. Bored I can handle. I can always find something to do but when I get stressed...i haven't a clue.