Well I hit the gym today and hit it hard! I don't know why I went so long without going! It all came flooding back to me and without even thinking about it ended up walking straight to the locker I always used to use. I felt good afterward...though I know tomorrow my muscles will be screaming at me "You neglected us for so long! now you have to pay for it!"
Amanda, way to keep channel energy and keep focus!
THURSDAY: Today is Time for Us Thursday. We should take time out for ourselves at least once a day, but when we can't we need to try to give ourselves a day of pampering. Be good to yourself today!
POINTS:
Amanda:
Faye
Amanda: We are all hoping you did not have any family or friends in the London bombing incidents! I am praying for the people of London as we here in the states certainly understand what your country is going through. This may sound hokey, but on my honor it is true. Sorry, girls, this might take awhile to tell, but I want Amanda to know it. I was in high school, madly "in love" with a really nice young man a year older than I and in my church youth group. He was very religious, was going to go to Bible College and we were friends, though even that was mostly on my side. I had convinced myself he was the one. He would bring me home on Sunday nights after church and as I had a lousy family life, I would pour my heart out to him in the car before getting out. One night in late June, he poured his heart out to me about this girl he was going to ask to go out with him etc etc. He was sure he found "the one" and wanted to share with me. I of course was devastated as he was the only link I had to normality I felt and thought I was in love with him. I went into my room that night and sobbed my heart out to God. I asked him to help me get over Marty and to send someone into my life that would love only me and take care of me forever. I knew it was a stupid and selfish thing to do, but I hurt so badly that I felt God was the only one that could fix it. Now some background before I go on. My grandmother died before I was born and my grandfather remarried a wonderful woman, the only grandma I knew. She had a dd that lived in Arkansas and they would go to visit her every summer. My siblings and I moved in with them during my Junior year in high school when my mother allowed her boyfriend to abuse me and I took my siblings and left home in the dead of night with nothing but the clothes on our back. Anyway, my 80 year old grandparents took the three of us in. The summer between my junior and senior year we went to Arkansas as usual. I have a load of step-cousins as they had like 8 children. One of them was my age. She asked me if I would write to this guy for her that was a family friend. She said her mom insisted they write to him as his family lived clear across the country from where he and her brother were stationed in Memphis. I told her I didn't really want to as I didn't know him. She said he was pretty much part of their family because he and her brother would hitch hike home every weekend they could. So, I told her ok, but I didn't want to do it. I wrote him a letter while we were still in Arkansas, really laid on the religion and the I "don't do" list (I was a good girl back then and didn't swear like a sailor like I do now) and I hoped it would turn him off. The little town I lived in propitiated the notion that military guys were all horny, drunks. I had lived in a situation with drinking and wanted no part of it so thought if I got on my high horse he would never write back and that would be the end of it. We spent about a month there and came home. When we got home, there was a letter for me from this guy. He told me he was a Christian and applauded me for being the kind of person I was. He was very nice and so I wrote back to him. This was around August of 1971. By October, he wanted to come and meet me. My grandfather was very very strict German so I wrote to my "aunt" and asked her to pave the way. I came home from school one day and grandpa called me over to his chair (he had this recliner he sat in all the time that looked like a thrown. I was scared to death of him) Anyway, I walked over to him wondering what I had done. He said, "I hear you have a young man coming to see you." I was stunned and said, "I do?" He said something about where was he going to stay (we lived in a town of 1600 people no hotel or anything like it) and I told him I was trying to arrange a place with my youth directors. He said something about was I ashamed to bring him to our house. I said, no and so he ended up coming to our house. It gets better. On the day we were to pick him up, WE ALL WENT TO THE AIRPORT TO GET HIM! I had just turned 18 and was so embarrassed we all went. They had a pontiac catalina, a big car, but we were going to be squished all in it. Anyway, we get to the airport and my sister and I walk past this cute sailor sitting way in the back of the airport. I didn't know what my friend looked like though he had my senior picture, but was sure he wasn't that cute. We decided if it was him that we would walk past him a couple times casually and he would come up to us if it was. We walked past him for half an hour like dopes and he didn't move. So, we thought it couldn't be him since his plane hadn't come in anyway and went to where the planes were coming in. His flight came in and he wasn't on it so I assumed he chickened out. About that time, I noticed my GRANDFATHER had walked over to the sailor who had gotten up and was standing behind a pillar. Here comes grandpa dragging this guy. I WAS SO EMBARRASSED I WANTED TO CRAWL INTO A HOLE. I am sure if I had been older I would have taken it in stride, but I was a really naive teenager. Yep, it was Jack. The weekend was AWFUL! He lost his wallet so I had to pay for everything on Saturday night (my grandfather had given me a 20 saying all sailors were bums) and he dumped iced tea all over the table at the restaurant. I thought he wouldn't like going with teens on a hay ride as he was 22 so we went with my older dsis and bil (9 and 20 years older) and they took us to bingo! It was humiliating! I had been warned to keep my mouth shut as guys didn't like chatter boxes so I didn't talk and he was so shy neither did he! To make all this wind up sooner or later, I didn't want to see him again because I thought he was dorky. My older sister said I had to give him a chance as accidents happen (the wallet had $300 in it and was in our couch at home where it had fallen out of his pocket) Well, I guess what clinched it was on Monday when I got home, my grandfather kind of growled at me that there was something sitting in the bathroom for me! There were a dozen of the most beautiful red roses and a card, "Just because I love you, Jack" Our 32nd wedding anniversary is in November, we had 2 beautiful children, he tells me EVERY DAY he loves me adores me etc. On top of all of this, my sister, ended up marrying the step-cousin who was my husband's best friend. They live in Calf and we will be seeing them when we go to Vegas. So, ask God to handle your love life. He knows better than you what you need!
Susan: Keep up the hard work. It pays off!
Carri: have loads of fun vegging this weekend!
Marsha: So sorry to hear about your mother. My sister has a husband who has MS and they recently had to put him in a nursing home because she could no longer care for him as he would fall all the time and he is a huge man to try and get up etc. You father must be an incredible human being! You are lucky to have such a wonderful father. Both of my parents are gone and both of my spouses so we don't have parents living. I especially miss my fil. He was the most adorable man, maybe because I now see how much he and my spouse are alike. I miss him terribly and he has been dead for 30 years.
Everyone have a good day. I have chores and pool workout so better get cracking!
OK so the official weigh in is at 202.5 pounds; about what I expected. So my goal is to be at 185 by September 26th, the 1st day of my last year of college. I guess I'll jump on the progress counter band wagon, wooooo
So I walked to the gym, head to the locker room, open up my bag, and my clothes aren't in it! I forgot to grab my shorts before I left! its ok though, I'll be cleaning and moving stuff hard core later this evening and will DEFINATELY hit the gym tomorrow.
SATURDAY: Today is Sunny Thoughts Saturday so let's get some sun in her guys!
POINTS:
Faye
Morning girls! I went to bed at like 7 last night so I am up early on this wonderful Saturday morning. It is going to be a sticky day. We have that hurricane rain headed straight for us and should be here by Monday at the latest. Good for the area, bad for the pool, though I go out in rain and swim as long as it isn't thundering and lightening.
I decided last night to fix Jack a treat, southern fried chicken. I don't cook with oil anymore but thought he might enjoy it. I had everything going nicely in my electric skillet, turned everything but one leg, went to turn it and a huge amount of grease popped, went onto my face (thankfully I had taken out my contacts and had glasses on or I would have had it in my eyes) all up my left arm (I am left handed) but the most serious was my left thumb area. There was also grease all over the counters and floor I had to be careful of so I screamed for Jack and he helped me get the oil washed off my skin then he went upstairs and got this aloe vera gel I keep on hand for sunburns and I put it all over my burns. Lord did my hand hurt. It was the only place that really hurt. I cleaned up the oil best I could on the floor and such thinking I would mop after dinner. Jack had to take over turning the chicken because I couldn't get near the heat without it being excruciating and my hand was stiff and wouldn't let me turn anything. Well, the chicken was scrumptious along with sweet corn and mashed pot and gravy, but what a price I paid! I kept putting more gel on the hand then after dinner and the kitchen were all cleaned up, I sat down with a book and an ice pack. That gel is a miracle worker. I have NO blisters anywhere and even my thumb area, which was the worst is no longer red, though it is tender to the touch and a little swollen. I will put the ice bag back on it for a little while this morning. I can also move it and it didn't keep me from sleeping at all either. If you ever want to buy it, it comes from Oscos Drug store and is a green gel in a bottle and called Aloe Vera Gel. You can probably get something similar in any drugstore or even Wally's, Target, etc. It is well worth having on hand.
Amanda: Hope everything is going ok with you. Let us know you are ok. I know you aren't in London, but that still doesn't mean we don't worry here!
Susan/VA: We continue to pray for you and your husband. God will give you strength to get through this.
Susan: Hey, maybe you should have given them a show and did it in underwear! Bikinis have less fabric most of the time anyway!
Julie: Hope writing is going well. I know that is where you are hiding, behind a laptop.
Nikki: Hope your weekend is starting out well.
Carri: Have fun lazing around this weekend!
Sunny thought, sure to put a smile on your face: This elderly lady went to the doctor for a checkup. Everything checked out fine. The old lady pulled the doctor to the side and said, "Doctor, I haven't had sex for years now, and I was wondering how I can increase my husband's sex drive."
The doctor smiled and said, "Have you tried to give him Viagra?"
The lady frowned. "Doctor, I can't even get him to take aspirin when he has a headache," she claimed.
"Well," the doctor continued, "let me suggest something. Crush the Viagra into a powder. When you are giving him coffee, stir it into the coffee and serve it. He won't notice a thing."
The old lady was delighted. She left the doctor's office quickly.
Weeks later the old lady returned. She was frowning and the doctor asked her what was wrong. She shook her head.
"How did it go?" the doctor asked.
"Terribly, doctor, terribly."
"Did it not work?"
"Yes," the old lady said, "It worked. I did as you said and he got up and ripped his clothes off right then and there and we made mad love on the table. It was the best sex that I'd had in 25 years."
"Then what is the problem, ma'am?"
"Well," she said. "I can't ever show my face in McDonald's again."
Well I thank God that I have not been directly affected by the London bombings - my brother and best friend both work right near where it happened and I was worried about them for a few hours until they got in touch to say they were fine. They are saying that 50 - 60 people have died and countless others have lost limbs etc - it is truly awful. We lived with terroist attacks for decades due to IRA bombings, but it's all been peaceful here for a few years now and everyone is gutted now. The London Underground system is so vulnerable, it has no security whatsoever other than asking the public to report unattended bags, all it takes is someone evil enough to actually plan and do it.
Thanks for your lovely story Faye - I do so admire your relationship, especially that Jack loves you more than ever and finds you attractive no matter what your size. That is what I want - Nigel does not find me attractive at all and keeps saying that he can't wait for me to lose weight as then I'll be really pretty. I want someone who thinks I am the prettiest girl in the world even at this weight. He says I'm living in a dream world and it just won't happen, but I'll trust God on that one. Things are still difficult here - it's just this big unspoken cloud hanging between us now, sometimes we just carry on as we've always done (as friends) and sometimes the enormity of what I am doing hits either one of us and the tension and hurt is awful. It's early days and I am just taking it one day at a time right now.
My eating has gone off track for the last 2 days - but I am back on track now.
CARRI - yes you are right , I didn't want to marry Nigel and have kids and then leave. It is definantely best that I go through this now, no matter how hard it is. You need to be 100% sure when you marry someone don't you?
SCUZIN - Excellent job on getting back to the gym!
SUSAN - I'm praying for you and your dh every day. Hope he is improving.
Yes, Faye, I've been hiding behind my laptop! I'm working with a publisher in Los Angeles right now and we're trying to get a "rush" project done. Every time I go near the computer, my skin starts twitching and my eyes go
I've been doing a little stress eating, but not too bad. Dance class has kept me on an even keel... I'm hovering between 206-209...though I did see 205 for about 30 seconds one morning.
DH is losing steadily, which is desperately needed! He looks awesome........
I haven't been able to read all the stuff I've missed. Can't even believe how long I've been gone. But Faye, that story about how you met Jack is hilarious! I met James at a fighter practice and hit him right square in the crotch with a big stick! How's that for first impressions?
Amanda, I'm so sorry you're going through a hard time. But I have to say, I'm not surprised that this has happened. I've noticed a huge change in your attitude and stuff since you started losing weight and gaining confidence. You are absolutely right that you deserve to have someone who loves you and thinks you're beautiful just the way you are! Don't ever let anyone tell you different--especially your own conscience. Hold your ground, cuz I'm sure you'll have many times where you just want him to hold you and take care of you. Be strong, sister....you can do anything!
Okay, Hi to everyone...and welcome to the newcomers! I gotta get off this computer before I implode........gonna spend all day sewing, no writing!!
Good morning to all. Been in Minneapolis for a couple of days so have been catching up this am. Thanks for the great story, Faye - I really enjoyed it. Glad to hear the burns are OK - that has to be the worst pain. Can you imagine the poor people who end up on burn units with serious burns? I don't think I could work there!
Susan - you are in a great place right now with all your enthusiasm - makes me want to get there with you!
Amanda - we are all feeling for you right now. What a week you have had. Stay strong, girl.
Julie - are you sewing costumes?
Drove DD to her job on Thursday am, then shopped, etc. for the day. Picked her up after work and went to a country music show with DS and his GF, then stayed at a hotel. The show was good - especially like the swing dancers who were there. Waited until DD ws done with work yesterday, then we came home. Today is supposed to be 95 degrees, and stay that way for the next 3 or 4 days - ugh! We are going to a celebration in New Ulm tonight - Heritagefest. Huge, German type thing with many tents with seperate stages for bands - some from Germany, some local. Some beer, some kraut, some brats - all diet food, of course! Hope everyone has a good weekend!
Marsha
You made me giggle Faye at the prospect of "giving them a show" Maybe mext time I forget an important article of clothing I'll rip it all off and jump in the pool! My friends can take bets as to how long it will take till I'm "asked to leave". I could be on to something here....
I went to the health center yesterday because my ear has been bothering me for a week now. Every time I go swimming it gets cloged and pressurized, but usually goes away in a couple days. Not this time so I had to go get it looked at. Its all good now. They cleaned it so at least I can hear normally again, it still has some pressure in it but should be fine in a while.
Glad the thumb in healing quickly, I love that green goo too, it feels so good on sun burns
It is Nigel who is living in a dream world, you are right amanda, you should be loved for who you are, as you are.
SUNDAY: Today is Silly Poll Sunday and our silly poll this week is: When you are cleaning your home, are you a room by room cleaner or a task cleaner, ie, dust the whole house, vacuum the whole house, etc. (I know, I know, this one is kind of lame, but sometimes the old creative brain doesn't work!)
Julie: OWWWWWW! He has to be an incredible man to have been injured by you, especially there, and come back for more!
Susan: Glad you got the ear fixed. I have allergies and so of course have problems with my ears, but I have a lot of problems with dry wax instead of the gooey stuff that wants to clog up ears. I once got an ear infection because dry flaky wax the size of a nickel was blocking my ear passage and not letting it drain. I now clean my ears everyday pretty much, especially after swimming as I want to make sure all the water drains out! Hope it continues to do ok. Ear pain is the worst next to toothache.
Amanda: Sadly to say, it IS more difficult to find men who find overweight women attractive. My opinion remains firm though. A man who can only love you skinny, will find some other fault when you are at that size. Also, a large % of men who want their significant other to lose weight so they will be more attractive, find they can't handle the attention they get when they are smaller and get jealous and louse up the relationship anyway. Like I said, I believe that we all have a life partner if we are willing to let God choose him for us. I am a little upset with you because again and again you seem to be taking way too much responsibility for the break up here..."sometimes the enormity of what I am doing." It is what it is and that is that you have come to the decision that he is not right for you, that you have been hanging onto a dream that really wasn't real, that the love you have for each other is NOT bundled with respect and does not seem the kind that will last for a lifetime, etc. My son did not marry until he was nearly 31 and he had plenty of opportunity. Besides, what if that someone does not come along? That does not make you less of a spectacular woman. It makes it hard for someone that craves a relationship, but you cannot measure youself with the "I got a man" measuring stick. You are beautiful, intelligent, caring and giving and you are wonderful all by yourself. I know, easy for me to say, I have a man that loves me. That is true, but if something happened to Jack, I would have to go on without him and I would never be interested in someone else. Besides the fact that men my age seem to want women my dd's age! I would surround myself with my family and friends and get on with my life.
Marsha: Ooooh, I love German festivals. Well, I am German and grew up eating German food. My grandma made the best Sauerbraten in the world. From the time I was a toddler I grew up eating sauerkraut. When I was tiny, my mom would put sugar on it! I hate beer, even the smell of it, but love those brats! Jack hates this type of food so I never get it anymore but it sure makes me remember when someone talks about it. My grandfather used to even speak German to us from time to time.
Carri: Ok, sloughing off time ends today. Back to work and back in here tomorrow!
Susan/VA: Our prayers are with you, sweety. I think about you everyday!
We are waiting to get the hurricane rain. They expect us to get about 8 inches and some pretty horrendous wind. It is coming right up the state of Mississippi at us. They are predicting possible Sunday night all week! UGH, messes up my swimming!
I got 4 points yesterday and today I got up early and attended the 10.15am advanced cycle class! I managed to do the whole class even though the last 15 mins were agonizing! I am so proud of myself that I have gone from not being able to do a whole intermediate class, to completing the whole advanced class in about 6 weeks!
Well Nige and I talked yesterday and he wants a chance to change and for us to work through our problems. The truth is I did just sort of throw this on him out of the blue without really discussing it much. I've told him that I cannot promise him anything and that I am still having massive doubts about us, but as Christians we have agreed to pray about it and see where God leads us. I am still not sure at all but we'll have to wait and see. Anyway, he has just read this post and is not at all happy with me for sharing my relationship problems with you, so I'll have to be careful what I say from now on. I'll keep you posted.
Silly Poll - I tackle a room at a time - except for vacuuming when I just quickly do the whole flat.
Bikinis have less fabric most of the time anyway! 
