Okay, first things first, I went to a spinning class tonight. It was a great workout and it KICKED MY BUTT! Sadly, I was at the BEGINNERS class. I plan on going back just becuase it makes me mad that it was so hard for me but I don't think it will become a regular in my class rotation. Also, I got up the nerve to run on the treadmill. Ugh, it was okay but when I get going that fast I can't think of anything but rolling off the back of the darn thing. But, I'm proud of myself for giving it a go.

I pulled out my old training chart at the gym - last updated 3/26/04-to see what my measurements were back then. I was at 214 and hadn't started dieting or anything yet. Basically, I had gone to the gym to get a new workout routing thinking I would be motivated again. Ehhh, I did that one maybe twice and then cancelled my membership. Anywho, I took my measurements when I got back on track in December. I am happy to report that I have lost more than 10 inches since compared to last year! I'm going to have them measure me again tomorrow becuase most of this weight has come off since December so I am sure i am down even more than that by now. I'll post the results once I get them.

Gloria, I am with you on the scale. I've decided to try and weigh only once every two weeks. I'm addicited to that number though so I don't know if I'll be able to stick it out or not. I am at the point that I need to start weening myself from my weight and start focusing more on inches, shape, and tone. The scale is disappointing these days to say the least and on top of that I know it isn't the most accurate gauge of my progress anymore. Like I said before, I've got to work on redefining my goals and now is the best time since I'm stuck with this plateau. Scale isn't moving so I gotta find something else to tell me I'm still on track.

Cheryll, I've stayed at a "haunted" hotel in New Orleans before. Nothing happened but it was a fun adventure. You can't help but expect something to happen so every squeek or rattle is alarming. If you scare very easily it is going to be a long, long night.
Ours included a tour and history of the place, etc. That was interesting. I don't remember the name of the one we stayed at though. There are several of them in New Orleans.

I've been to a psychic before. It was just before I was to graduate college. A friend of mine and I were on a road trip and we stopped at a house that had a psychic sign in the front yard. It was just for fun to break up the trip a little and stretch our legs. She told me that I would excel in a career that had nothing to do with my studies and that the field I would end in would be quite a surprise. Well, I didn't think anything of it - sounded pretty general at the time. I majored in Home Economics and minored in business. I took accounting three different times. Dropped out in the first semester, flunked it the second, finally scrapped by with a D in summer school at our local community college. What do you know? My first job was an entry level accounting position and I ended my 15 year career managing the accouting department. I still think her assessment was vague and general, but it was technically correct. I don't think most of the people who claim to be psychics are, but I think it has to be possible that at some people are at a minimum more intuitive than most.

Lucky, I don't admit this often but I've actually had a ghost encouter and I believe Will had one when he was a younger. The first one was my grandfather. He had passed away when I was in college. This might sound silly but when Quinten died one of my big worries was what would happen to him in heaven-he was just a baby and wouldn't know anybody. Who would take care of him? I told you, it sounds silly. But in my emotional state that weighed heavily on my mind. Before a week had even past I had a nightmare. I was at my grandparent's farm and out in the field I could see something laying in a hole. It was covered in bugs and worms but I couldn't make out what it was. Just as I was getting closer to see what was there my grandfather stepped up to me and took me by the shoulders to move me back. He kept saying, "I'll handle this, you don't need to see this." But I pushed past him and sure enough, I could see that it was Quinten in the hole. I sat straight up in bed wide awake. And, I swear on my life, my grandfather was standing clear as day next to my bed. I actually looked over at Greg and touched him to make sure I was awake. Looked back the other way and my grandfather was still there - he didn't look ghostly at all. And he said to me, "Don't worry. I've got that baby." He stood there for a second and then he was gone. I wasn't scared or anything. I reached over and touched Greg again just to check again that I was awake. I can't say for certain that it wasn't all just part of the dream but I can tell you that I had an overwhelming feeling of peace after it happened. It was weird to say the least.

Will was born after Quinten but before Kayla. He had just turned 2 when we found out Kayla had died. So, he never knew of either of them until he was maybe 4 when he found some pictures. One night he was asleep - he was maybe 2 1/2 by this time -we heard him laughing over the monitor. Not the kind of giggle that a child does when he's dreaming or talking in his sleep. He was full blown belly laughing. I got up to go into his room to see what was up. He was sitting straight up in his crib and just sort of wiggling like he was trying to get away from something and laughing himself silly. Just as I walked all the way into his room he just stopped, laid down, and was asleep again. But the smell in his room was just like the baby blankets that Quinten and Kayla had been swaddled in at the hospital. Sort of a mix between baby powder and sterile. It hit me and I noticed it but didn't really think too much about it. After all, Will was still a baby so a scent like that wouldn't have been completely out of order but, mostly, it was the middle of the night and I just didn't think of anything but going back to bed. The next morning at breakfast I asked Will if he remembered doing all of that laughing and he told me that he did. I asked him what he was dreaming about that was so funny. And he said, "Oh, I wasn't dreaming Mommy. Those two babies were tickling me." It made me sort of catch my breath and I asked him what babies he meant and all he could tell me were that there was a baby boy and a baby girl and they were funny and were tickling him. But that was the last of it. Never heard anything else about it or saw anything like that happen again. Again, it was comforting in an odd kind of way.

Greg thinks it is all nonsense and I respect that. Either incident could be a dream or a conincidence. But, given the circumstances, I find comfort in believing that they were more than that. So, that is my story and I am sticking to it.

And speaking of Skittles, Lucky, where is she these days? I am like you. I love her posts because they read like poetry. She sums things up so beautifully. Not me, I'm a rambler. Gotta work on that.

I am soooo sore right now so I am off to hit the sack. I can't wait to stretch out and S-L-E-E-P. Y'all have a great night.

Tricia

hi all, Just a quick post to let you know I am still around. I have a lot of reading to catch up on, then I will post a big reply. I hope you are all doing well. Talk to ya soon, Skitt

Around 4:19 A.M. this morning my dog Sky had two epileptic seizures and I'm so afraid that we may have to put her to sleep. She is about ten years old and we have had her since she was a pup. Altho Sky has had seizures before, they have never been as bad as the one she had this morning. Sky's picture is just below my name. She acts like the mother to the rest of our dog's and she was the one that taught Digger manners. If one of the other dogs has to go out, Sky is the one that comes and tells me. If we have to put her to sleep, my hart is going to be broken. I know she is only a dog, but i love all of them as if they were my own children. We have talked to our vet about Sky's epilepsy and he said we could put her on medication, but if the seizures get real bad, we may have to put her to sleep. Right now, money is tight and we just can't afford to spend money on medication for Sky. About the best i can do for her is just hold her and tell her its going to be alright when she has a seizure. I am crying now and Sky seams to know when something is wrong because she just came over and started licking my hand. How sweet is that?

Gloria

Oh, Gloria, I am so sorry about Sky. Bless your heart. Believe me, I know what a tough decision it will be if it comes down to putting her to sleep or trying medication. If it turns out that you can't afford the medication just remember that you gave this dog 10 years of love and pampering. It is all that matters and more than a lot of dogs will ever know. The great thing about pets is that they love us unconditionally. She trusts you completely and knows that you will do what is best for her. Slipping into sleep while their "person" comforts them is much better for a dog than enduring terrible seizures on a regular basis. I hope it doesn't come to that but if it does we will all be here for you.

You know how some days you'll feel super motivated and just can't imagine NOT living the new lifestyle you've planned for yourself? Well, I've been feeling like that lately. But today I have something new going on and wonder if any of you have ever felt this way.

Here's the deal. I am still really motivated and don't have any notion to give up eating right and exercising. But lately, I've been doing a lot of reading about plateaus and have found lots of tips on helping to break through. Also, I'm reading more in depth about different types of exercises and weight training because I've reached a point that I need to step up my intensity to get the results I want. Also, I've been trying new classes at the gym. I still like all that I do now but it is starting to get stale which makes it harder to push myself as much as I should. The problem I am having is that I'm tired of THINKING about it all of the time. All of the effort that goes into these changes is just wearing me out.

I've got the voices in my head telling me that I have to push myself out of my comfort zone, yada, yada, yada. That's fine. I WANT to push myself. I just want somebody else to tell me HOW to push. It isn't the lifestyle I'm sick of just the constant thinking about it, if that makes sense. I'm working with one of the trainers at my gym (they are free, thank goodness) so weight training and toning is covered. But the diet? Well, I'm stuck on the same foods because I'm sick of looking for new recipes and such. Cardio? I know I need to vary my workouts but I'm tired of researching all the details of rest days, techniques to increase metabolism, etc. Basically, I'm tired of trying to understand the nuts and bolts of how all of this stuff works.

Actually, maybe it isn't even that I'm sick and tired of it all. Maybe there are so many conflicting suggestions and ideas that I'm just overwhelmed by it all and my brain is tired of figuring it all out. I also know that nothing works for everyone so I am the only one who can really find what is going to get me where I want to be.

Anybody else ever feel this way? I have to say that just venting all of this makes me feel a lot better. Still, if anyone has their own experience or suggestions to share I would love to hear them. Thanks!

Tricia

Hey everyone

Let me just say that I am tired of working overtime and being called in on my days off! Dropping in for just a second to let you all know that I am still alive and vaguely kicking. I'm going to get some sleep and then get back here to do some reading and catching up with everyone. SooOoOooOOoooOOOOoo tired!

Andria

Thank you jawsmom for your kind words. You lifted my spirits considerably. Carl and i haven't made a decision yet on what we are going to do. The thought of losing my beloved Sky is something i just cant deal with now. Maybe in a week or two i will be able to deal with it, but just the thought of having to put her to sleep is more than i can handle right now.

Now about your question. I hate to tell you this, but it sounds like your obsessing about losing weight and reaching your goal. Maybe you need to give your body a vacation. You can still eat right and exercise, but try concentrating on how good you feel at the end of the day instead of the pounds and inches you might have lost. I know from experience, obsessing about losing weight you can miss out on a lot of enjoyable events. With me it got to the point where all i wanted to do was eat, sleep, and talk about losing weight. Now, i don't own a scale and i go to the Y and exercise to feel good mostly, and to fit into my clothes again. My advice to you is, let the weight thing go awhile. You can still be motivated and try new classes at your gym, but try and concentrate on the class and how good your going to feel afterwards, not the results of taking the class. If you feel your motivation is starting to slip a little in a week or two, then start pushing yourself again. This is just my opinion.

What good advice, Gloria. Thanks for being so point blank. I think deep down I knew that was the case but needed "permission" from someone else to relax a bit so that I wouldn't feel like I was giving up. I'm going to do my best to do exactly what you suggested. I don't know how well I will fare, but I think I have to try. It will be good practice for when I finally do reach my goals. Afterall, what is maintainence but learning to live with food without obsessing about it?

Thanks again.

Tricia