Hi guys - it looks like my 2 1/2 hour journey home today is small stuff compared to what's happening now in NC. Students are STILL stranded at schools..busses are at hospitals for the night after being stranded on instates for 5 1/2 hours..they just took the kids to hospitals so they could have bathrooms, food and blankets for the night. One highway is grid locked for 20 miles...one of the main hwys in the city. The road that I got stranded on was closed shortly after I started walking...a ton of other roads have been closed too....it wasn't this bad when we got 2 FEET of snow...and this was only 1 inch. It was the strangest snow storm I've ever seen though!! In 20 minutes the roads went from completely fine to a solid sheet of ice..and the salt trucks got stuff in the grid locks with everyone else. It's really horrible out there....it took my coworkers 6 hours to get home...and most of their spouses are stuck at work tonight. Very very strange storm!

when we say we can't handle snow - this isn't at all what we usually mean :)

I ate okay - not great. I have been snacking on BF's food. Nothing too bad but I'm not suppose to do it at all. If I want those scales to move I am going to have to make a commentment to myself. Stop the bites here and there and stop the rice cookies...make that stand.

I hope you're all warm and cozy tonight! I will probably not be at work tomorrrow as I can't get out of my neighborhood...we'll see. More snow tomorrow night and this weekend also. We'll end up with 3 inches and hte whole state will shut down :)

Howdy!
 

Hi everyone! Sorry I haven't been on as much- school as usual is keeping me busy and I HAD to watch Law and Order SVU from last night!
I got my exercise game for my Xbox today and I love it! I am looking forward to it and it even has built in incentives- giving you new enviroments to work in! I am so excited! I also got a book I ordered called "Passing for Thin" which is one woman's journey with weight loss and it looks really good.
Another good part for today is I got a really good haircut! I had to pay an arm and leg but it was worth it. It makes me feel like a brand new me.
Anyway- enough about me!

little grasshopper- I am so sorry you had to trudge through the snow to get home. I am glad you left for home when you did or you might have been one of those people still stuck! Is your area of NC like South Carolina (where I grew up) in the sense that everything closes down when it snows and the entire state has like ONE snowplow so it takes forever to clear the roads? It would snow an inch in Spartanburg and the whole town would close. Sounds like a wicked storm though- stay safe! I have to admit though- I am still jealous! It is 52 degrees here and all my neighbors have their fireplaces going at the same time that I have a couple windows open! :lol:

NBK- I think that ultra skinny girl in your class should be force fed and made to drink tons of weight gain shakes. :lol: Really- I can say I am not jealous of those girls- I love my curves even if they have skidded too far. :lol3:
Thanks for the cool facts about calcium- do you think I could talk my body into just letting me have Ben and Jerry's? If only- sigh!

stormy- Wow- another flight for you. What in the heck is wrong with your car? Well- at least you won't have to drive if the weather gets bad and hopefully you will beat any storms that might come. Great job getting all your school work done- I am already behind! :( Oh well- last semester. I actually went and filed for graduation today and I have to say that felt really great! Hang in there in your program- you sound like you are doing great!!

Red Balloon- Thanks for allowing my diarrhea of the mouth. I get started and just can't stop! :lol:
I wish I could tell you what to do about the job. I do think that you need to try to not stress and let what happens to happen. Sometimes things have a way of working themselves out. Go with what you feel is right- don't second guess yourself and try to pick the path that has the most happiness. You will be OK. Keep in mind that your decisions are not permanent and you will not be forced to stay in a job you hate- you can always leave whether it is the paper or this new job- and stop listening to those horoscopes because they are wrong.
As for feeling like a strange person in a tiny Asian world- you should be celebrating your difference. I bet those people looking at you on the subways etc. are looking with envy. I think it is more the case of the purebred prize winning pooch living in the dog pound full of mutts. You are the exotic one and that is a great thing.
The post that you wrote that made me cry was talking about stormy's patient at least having the horses there for him. Okay that is all I am going to say because I don't want to start up again. It was just a touching thought that at least he was not alone.
Your horse situation sounds complicated but I guess the bottom line is at least you have her. I am a strong believer that animals know and sense those who care and those that don't. I know my dog shows me a lot more affection that anyone else because I make time for him and realize he needs love and attention too. I am thinking your horse feels this too.

Okay- hope I responded to everyone. I need to go to bed because I get up at 5 am tomorrow and I am not getting enough sleep at night.
To answer my own question of the day I would pick fudge. I love it!

Tomorrow is "What have I been doing to move my body?" day. Chime in and let us know your progress.

I will post the question for tomorrow - well...tomorrow.
Have a great night everyone!!! :D :D :D :D

Hi people. I'm back home and before I settle down to work I want to get caught up here. I got to ride and it was a pretty day. I'm feeling sooo much better than I was this morning, and again, so much of that is thanks to you all. So :thanks: I don't know what comes over me, bad dreams, good dreams, horoscopes, hormones, food allergies, work, lack of exercise, scale readings, who knows, but come over me it does and I just get so in a black cloud, not a gloomy black cloud, but one with lightning bolts an claps of thunder and everyone who knows me runs for cover until suddenly the sun shines out from behind that cloud and voila! smiles again. Sigh. . .

grasshopper -- what's this with all the snow? Hope things get back to normal or at least that nothing bad happens with this sudden storm. I agree with stormy, you probably burned a ton more calories walking in that snow.

You're so right about needing to focus more on health. I had been doing that and just got tired of it. But, knock on wood, I have not had a cold in months, maybe years and everyone around me is sick all the time it seems. I guess I shouldn't ever forget that health really is everything.

Thanks for your kind words about my work too. Sometimes everything just feels so stuck, not just my weight, but everything. I always want to get better and better, don't mind that the progress is slow, but sometimes, when I can't see any at all, or things look to be worse I just want to cry. I guess I should try to apply everything I do with riding to life. In riding, I know that if I just stick it out, just keep trying I will progress. But for some reason, I don't have that kind of faith in any other area of my life, not really. I guess it's why I get scared that I'm never going to be able to do it and then I get upset.

Well, I hope your clients don't all cancel. Do the plows go around. Do they have them or only salt trucks? If they get the roads clear I think people will come out. I hope you can get out yourself.

Jacque -- I hope you're not goofing off with your eating and exercise!! :nono: No excuses things just being crazy at work. For some of us that's the normal state of things! :lol: And no one is going to get sick of you, so stop saying those silly things. You're as bad as Crime girl apologizing for her long posts, long? what's long? If I started apologizing or saying things like "you must be sick of me" I just start seeing all these heads start nodding, so I never ask! and so they don't nod and I feel OK! :)

NBK -- Living in Asia does screw with my head. Can't you tell?

And, NBK, I agree with Crime girl, that woman in your pump class should be force fed. Get some meat on her! Waist smaller than your thighs. "doesn't look like a woman" you crack me up, NBK!! :rofl: I wish I had you here with me. Oh, yes, those types, that's my riding teacher. Oh no, I think it's her thigh that's smaller than my biceps.

Oh, and by the way, if there are any tiny Asian women out there reading this (why would they be reading this stuff?!!?) don't take offense or anything. We're just trying to make ourselves feel better at others expense!? For me, it's all I have! :lol:

Crime girl -- hi there! Good to hear from you. "Passing for Thin." Sounds like an intriguing title. Is it her saying she only looks thin but doesn't feel thin?

Great with the haircut. Glad you got one you like so much. Doesn't it just make you feel great. Good cuts usually do cost a lot though bad ones can cost a lot too. I need one as well.

So, when is your boyfriend coming over here? And don't let him think that the tiny portions here mean tiny prices. The cultural shock equation for Tokyo is like this. First you divide up a normal American-size portion into 4 and throw away 3/4s of it, then you double or triple the price of whatever you're used to paying for the whole thing. That'll give you a rough idea of what to expect.

Oh, and Crime girl, really stop with the "diarrhea of the mouth" kind of talk. I LIKE what you say. Lots of good stuff comes out of your mouth . . .and I don't have any icky fetishes either.

Thanks for your faith in me. It's nice to hear you say I will be OK. This is probably my biggest problem, anxiety, not stress so much. I can take a lot of stress. It's anxiety that gets me. And yes, those friggin' horoscopes are pathetic. So far today, it's been great. I think my horse is actually showing more affection and she has been a cold one, turned off I think because no one was really ever thinking nice things of her. I think you're right that she must sense I care for her. Animals are saying things all the time and most of the time no one hears them. Here though I've never come across so many animals who are NOT saying anything because either they gave up or they never learned that they could talk with people. I see the horses come in from Europe and they're looking to communicate and no one talks to them. It ry and they learn who I am so quickly. It's like, yes, here's someone who'll talk! My horse, having grown up in Japan, is perhaps only now coming to want to reach out more. Her eyes have totally changed since I first met her. Before they looked rather lifeless or angry, irritated. Now, they are often very gentle. Before, she didn't want me to touch her face, now she will nuzzle up against my chest and nudge me playfully from behind when I'm bending over doing her hooves.

CG, though I don't want you to cry again, I didn't say it before but I am a very strong believer in animals' ability to help people and other animals in need. And they know about death and I think they know how to help someone over to, let us say, the other side. They say there comes a moment, no matter how horrible the manner of death is, that there is no pain, no fear. Animals know to accept death and horses are spiritually uncanny. They are very highly developed spiritually. I don't think it's too strange to think, especially for people who know horses, that this man's time to go had come and the horses were meant to see him on. And that's maybe why he died the way he did. Like it was meant to be that way and maybe wasn't as horrible as it seems, as tragic as it seems. We all have to die sometime and I can't think of a better way to go than surrounded by the things you love. So, sorry if I made you cry. I hope I didn't again.

********

kjk, michi, where are you? Hope you're OK. Stop in and chat if you can!! :wave:

Well, no posts yet. I'm calling this a night very soon. May stay up and read a bit. Didn't get much exercise in today other than the 45 min. ride and maybe about 50 mins walking. Had to work at home, just sitting in front of a manuscript proofing. BUT, afterward I went to the convenience store and bought nothing but barley tea (with no calories)!! So that is a major save. I didn't do so well during the day but I did write it all down. I had been incorporating more walking into my days this week by getting on and off the train later and earlier. That I think is really going to help. I don't like to keep trying to tack exercise on here and there. I need the gym to really say, OK, this is just for exercise. I much prefer to be exercising as part of some other work, so the walking further to get somewhere doesn't feel like exercise. It just feels like getting somewhere but it's taking a little longer than usual. I know this is hard to do if you're always driving. There are few real walking cities in the States, aren't there? Here, it's very easy if I just give myself a bit more time. In fact, I have always loved to walk and used to do so much more. Think I'm going to try to work it back into my life. Ok, hope to see lots of posts from you all tomorrow morning. I am going to try to get to the gym in the morning before work at the paper. Wish me luck!

Good morning all. Looks like we're not going anywhere for a while.

Red - we do have plows but only a few. Even as snow was falling they didn't realize this thing was going to happen. 3,000 kids got stuck at schools last night and Burger Kings stayed open all night to feed stranded drivers stuck in the grid lock. The problem now is that a lot of our roads are clogged with people who ran out of gas....It's NOT normally this bad. We handle snow fairly well here...but that's the problem - when it started no one went home, we went to lunch. They didn't close the schools, didn't treat the roads, and no one here has special tires or chains - it just doesn't make economic sense to have all that equipment with as little as we get. They are saying we'll get more tonight - 1-2 inches more. Driving would be fine if there weren't so many people and if people would just stay in the lanes and drive a safe speed - but I guess that's true anywhere.

People were laughing at me yesterday when I called back to the office and told them how bad it was. I had to remind them that while I WAS southern girl - every license plate around me was northern - and they were just as stuck as I was :) :)

They are not opening the road where my car is stranded today so it may be next week before it get it - YET ANOTHER storm is coming our way over the weekend...we're on some sort of snow conveyer belt now :) Dogs love it though.

Red - I feel you pain girl. I'm so mad today. I am at what should be the lowest weight of the month for me and yet I'm still 140. I will go down to 136 and then right back up to 140. Granted I haven't been able to exercise this week - but should that REALLY make me GAIN? I know, water weight....I'm with you though - I'd still like to see the damn thing move :) Time to pack it away again!

Oh - my headache was mosty gone but I guess running up hill in snow isn't good for headaches...it's back, on the other side now. Not NEARLY as bad though. If I can get to work I'm going to have the doc adjust me. I've been avoiding it because of the candy bar slip up - he'll know. Time to get it dealt with though - this will be a week of a headache and that's just too much!

Good morning!

I tried to get on and post last night when I got home from volleyball, but for some reason our damn internet wasn't working correctly. Every site I tried to go to took like 5 minutes to load, so I just gave up and went to bed!

Well, like I said, I had a volleyball game last night, which was fun. Our team has decided that, instead of being competitive and getting pissed when we lose (when it's supposed to be for fun), that we are going to be the league's "fun" team and just laugh everything off. I tell you, it made the night a whole lot more fun, but losing still stinks!

And to top it off....I hurt my knee. I don't think it's too bad, just feeling really weak and a little sore this morning. So I'll see how it does today, and hopefully everything is fine. Keep your fingers crossed.

To answer CG's question: ice cream, definitely ice cream. I could eat that stuff non-stop, which is probably I'm where I'm at now! But I would love it!!!!!

As for my eating, I've been right on plan this week. Even had Wendy's for lunch yesterday, but I got a grilled chicken sandwich and a small chili.....only 13 points! I do keep track of everything I eat, by subscribing to Weight Watchers online. It's a small fee per month, but I don't mind because it holds me accountable....I don't have the money to "waste."

Ok, gotta get to work now. Hope you are all well, I'll try to catch up more later!

Kelly :D

Sounds like everyone is doing okay. I need to go pack, do some reading and head to the airport. I hope everyone has a great weekend, stays warm and does well with their lifestyle change. I'll try to check in from school.

Stormy, just saw your message. Have a safe flight and a good trip. Hope you can check in and talk with us sometimes. :wave:

Friday morning here. . . going to try to make it a good one!!
 

Good morning, people. 6 a.m. here. Gotta hurry if I want to get to the gym this morning before work. Slept in too much. Really don't want to get up at 4:30 like I do when I'm riding, not for the gym, horses, yes, gym, work, no way!

grasshopper -- Wow, things certainly snowballed with you! :lol: All those people stuck at school and work. I can't understand it. You say there was only something like 3 inches though, right? Can't see I was cheered to think of Burger King staying up to feed everyone. Kind of a double-edged sword there. I wish all the fast-food joints would just vanish from the face of the Earth. Sure, you can buy some decent things there now, but they're built on garbage. Still, in an emergency I guess you'll take anything to keep warm. Stranded drivers, that's bad and especially if people keep their engines on and windows up. Gas fumes can be deadly. Too bad about your car. That really sucks. I love that you ended on a positive note about doggies loving the snow. Snow can be so much fun. I hate it here in Tokyo because Tokyo doesn't know how to deal with it either. People don't know how to walk and everything is just a total mess but I used to love playing in the stuff. Pittsburgh back when I was a kid still got a lot of snow and we'd go toboganning and sledding and build igloos in the back yard, snowball fights, great fun. I love the sounds of winter, the silence, the way wound carries when you go outside and there's just this massive white, the sound of snow falling from tree limbs. . ok, taking a trip down nostalgia road here. Again, blame it on the caffeine. :) Well, hope you can have some fun with this. And darn, what are those headaches doing back again! :?: Ah, and the weight! Isn't it a bummer. Just piss you off so bad? Like, what the heck!? Oh well, keep plugging away. :sunny:

kjk -- Ouch! I hope your knee feels better soon. The "fun" team sounds . . .well. . .fun! But sure, you can take it too fun. I mean it is about winning too. I think though that you can be competitive and still have fun, right? You know, I'm amazed that everyone seems to know about WW points, even when you're going out to eat. That is something that WW seems to have gotten its hand into everything. God, they must be doing some business. I mean, it sounds like they have restaurants offering WW menus, right? They're sure to be getting some kind of royalties for use of the name. Wow, I can remember WW back in the early 70s. It must be huge now. I like the idea and think that for me now, counting calories is probably the best way. I will overeat and overeat if I try to stay totally away from something. And I am committed to eating healthy now so I will really weigh putting junk into my system before I do it and I do do it. To say, you've got 1,500 calories to play with, or 2,000 if you exercise, do with it as you want just makes me feel so much better, not so deprived. I need this feeling of choice and freedom in everything I do. WW seems to allow that and it would probably be my choice of a program if I were in the States. Most of it, however, is lost on me here because the products aren't available.

All right, I am really going to try to get to the gym. What a chore with all my stuff in a backpack when I have to bring a change of clothes and shower there because I'll be going in to the office afterward. At least I don't have to get dressed up for work. We could go in our workout sweats if we wanted.

Oh, and my horoscope was a good one this morning! ;) I'm thinking I will make my own horoscope. Write things, all good, all happy, on pieces of paper and or something and draw one out in the morning. Kind of like, my word for the day. That way I'll have something positive to ponder all day long but will avoid thinking of doom and gloom in my path like if I hear it's going to be a "bad" day. Horoscopes are such a waste. Why do they play on my mind like they do?

Good morning ladies - well I am having a shocker with the food this week. I'm not eating the huge amounts of last week, but this week it seems to be the crap that is finding it's way into my diet! arghh.. too many chocolate biscuits and other indulgences (like the mcd's blow out on wednesday) the worst part is that I am feeling constantly bloated and I know this is becuase my body hates crap food! it's gotten used to having better fuel over the last year and now it is seriously "pinking" on me..

argh on top of that I forgot to tell my bf he looked good at lunch wearing what he had on.. so in the evening when I suggested that his t-shirt and shorts weren't such a good match we had a bit of a "i think i'll flag the walk and go home to wash my car" episode. i felt so stink.. cos I also noticed a couple of other things on his body that I thought he should get checked out (ok I am not a nit picker just really observant and would want to be told about these things myself). This meant that instead of still going for a walk I went for a drive to a lookout over our port and read a bit of my book, wrote and apology letter and basically felt really **** about myself.. then I came home and this is where I got into trouble.. I knew I would binge if I went near the kitchen so I went straight to my room.. but I have this really bad habit of pulling body hairs out when I am nervous.. and that sometimes leads to ingrowns.. so I did a bit of surgery.. and I know it is really bad and linked in with my poor eating habits but the pain made me feel better. I am so aware of the problems teens have with cutting etc and I know I am not doing anything as harmful or dangerous as that.. but I do worry that sometimes I will go further than tweezers and a needle. Sorry if this is a bit heavy for you guys, I just needed to tell someone. He did come back over and we made up - we went to the supermarket as I had to bake something for a tsunami relief fundraising bake sale so I made a chocolate log.. he he and BF was so kind as to test all the lollies at the pick and mix so I would only buy the good ones.. but of course that leads to buying lollies for us too! arggh.. still I made it without eating any icing, cream or jam or sponge.. and also the fact that I had to whip the cream with a whisk I am sure added exercise to my day - it took a good 15 mins! my arms were so sore...

I hope everyone else is great - LGH your body is treating you better, Stormy - hope you have a safe flight and settle into school ok CG- enjoy your x-box game you lucky girl you!! Red - keep on keepin on and you are right incidental exercise is some of the best exercise you can get! Jacque - how is the gym going? I hope you are loving it and your hubby is being more helpful KJK-Well done on staying OP I hope your knee sorts itself out - go to a physio if it doesn't get better with some rest in a couple of days!
Back to work for now.
Tiff

Out the door here but just saw your post NBK. Sounds like you're having a bit of a rough spot with your boyfriend. That'll happen when you apart for a while and then together and yet probably thinking of being apart again. I know I've ruined things many a time because I wasn't just enjoying the present. I'd lay off on the nitpicking though. Boyfriends should never be an extension of yourself as many, many people think of them. So what if his clothes don't match. And what is this about you pulling out hairs? I hope you just mean you're plucking your eyebrows or something or is it worse. Or is this like a soft version of self-mutilation? What are you feeling when you're doing this? Well, heavy or not, let's hear it. I for one am not the fair-weather friend type. You can PM me if you want.

Here's a thought I just read somewhere about regretting the past, always looking forward to the future, it was something like.. . if you've got one foot in the past and one foot in the future it means you're pissing on the present. Enjoy the times you guys have together NOW, don't blow them with apologies and/or thinking of what this all could develop into. Remember, tomorrow is not guaranteed us, as you may well be aware of when you're having your tsunami relief drive.

OK, really gotta run. I'll be checking in at work maybe but probably won't have time to respond till tonight. Ciao till later!

Hi guys. I just got home. Much more calm today than yesterday! I was sure glad too get home and read some posts...brought normalcy back to life. I had a rough day and Bf asked me what i wanted as a reward for getting through it - I decided to not get the box of brownies I was craving and instead got a spegetti squash and a butternut squash..i've never had either but I'm going to bake the butter nut squash with chopped pears, cashews, butter and rice syrup (very sweet) and have dessert :)

Red - thanks for the encouragement. You won't believe it but it was only 1 inch of snow. NO, we're not normally THAT bad....this was a freaky snow....in less than 1 inch the roads were slippery as heck - and they didn't let the schools out when they should have - that's how the roads got grid locked...everyone was rushing home at the same time....and schools were letting out then too. Today EVERYONE had a story. Most people ended up walking miles and miles to get home. There were abandoned cars EVERYWHERE. We're to get more tonight but it's not as cold now so I am sure it won't be the same kind of problem. This was just a freaky, weird snow storm!

NBK - I'm with Red on this, come here and talk to us. Don't beat yourself up so much about the comments to BF. You're not perfect and neither is he. You'll both make mistakes and you'll both hurt each other, whether you mean to or not. It's a fact of life..it's how you rebound and deal with things that will matter most. We'll listen, I promise. what is a lollie??

okay, I have to get - stormy - i hope you have a safe trip!!

Good evening chicks!
 

Hi all!
I am finally home from work and even though I blew it again with eating I did get up this morning and exercise to my Xbox. Talk about pitiful! I am a weakling but I am going to get better! It kicked my butt! :lol:

Red- Passing for Thin is a book about a lady who lost half of her weight and how she did it- what she thought and how she feels now. I just started it and so far it is inspiring. She started out in a similar situation as me so I can relate with her.
I think I am going to send bf your way really quick if he doesn't stop messing up my meal plan- eating junk in front of me and offering to pick junk up! He just stopped smoking so I feel for him but geez! leave me out of it. :D
What you were saying about animals I totally relate with and that is why it was so sad to me. Poetic yet sad- and it touched me that you were right- he didn't go totally alone. Anyway- I think animals relate with us too and a lot of people don't look for it. My dog can tell me how he feels, what his mood is, and show so much love and obviously he can't talk to me. ( If he could- man- I would get to retire and go on the talk show circuit! :lol: ) Anyway- I am with you about horses too. I use to go to a camp that centered around horses as a kid and later as a camp counselor so I got a rapport with some of the horses. They are so smart and so strong! I don't think people realize how intuitive they are. I really enjoyed those summers with them.
Great job staying on course! Incorporating walking into your day is a great way to get some extra exercise. You should wear a pedometer and see how many steps you get a day. I bet it will surprise you!
As for your comment on fast food- I would gladly help you burn every one of them down if you wanted. They are a boil on the butt of existence. No real merit or worth and I can't seem to keep my fat bottom out of them. We need to ship all the fast food restaraunts to countries we don't like and let them eat themselves to death. :lol3:
I have a suggestion for you for your horoscope- I will give you your horoscope everyday if you want. If not- your suggestion is better than relying on the hacks who write the ones you have been reading.

Little grasshopper- The snow situation is the same in SC. Any amount of snow causes chaos and people refuse to listen when the weathermen are indicating its approach. People use to laugh when my parents came by and picked me up at school when it started to snow. Lord knows- if I had to rely on the school to let us out on time- I would have been stranded like all those people in NC. I am glad you are safe and sound at home even though you have no car. ;)
Sorry your head is giving you such problems. I hope it gets better soon!
Enjoy the snow though- glad your doggies are digging it!

kjk- Volleyball sounds like fun! It is fun when everyone is playing for laughs. During the Olympics I was wishing I had those volleyball girls' bodies. Man- they are ripped!
Sorry you hurt your knee though- get better soon and try to take it easy!
WW sounds like a good deal- I might check it out on line too. :D

stormy- Have a great weekend and have fun at school! Don't get too stressed!

NBK- I am sorry you are fighting with your bf. You concern me with the comments about cutting. You can PM or email me ANYTIME if you need to talk. I know dealing with stress is hard sometimes and if you ever need a friend - I am here. It is never too deep for me.
I am glad you made up with the bf because you guys only have a limited amount of time. Have fun with him while he is here- try to stay on plan and if you stray just get back on that horse! You can do it- a slip now and then is no big deal!

Okay- well need to go eat- it is getting late and I have miles to go before I sleep-
I will be on later!

Hey CG and Red. Thanks for your comments. sorry for the panic merchant thread. I have to go for the weekend now, but will try to check in.
I'm ok so don't stress

have a great weekend all
hugs
Tiff

Good morning guys. Well the big snow fall last night didn't really happen so I'm off to work. I only worked 4 hours yesterday but it was **** - I was realy hoping to have today off. :( Oh well, have to find strength and energy from somewhere. Cause the day is going to happen...like it or not......I even have a massage client today (on friday's I work the office...all day long!!!!!).

Eating was great yesterday and scales were a LITTLE more kind today because of it. I am not showing a loss but I'm also not at the 140 mark today. I have not been able to really work out all week. I think I needed a break though - I guess I did. With the week I've had I don't know if I'd have felt better or worse....I'm ready to get back in there though :)

CG - you need a horse :) I love them. They look so wise and all knowing. My dogs stare and empty places in the room and just look like they see dead people...not so much wise though....:)

Red - I can't read my horiscope either...power of suggestion is too strong. It will set my whole mood for the day. I don't even do it. I usually read it after the day or month is over and look for patterns. :)

NBK - No panic here...just lending an ear. I hope you have a great weekend!

okay guys - I guess I'd better get lunch and breakfast ready. I made a cool dish that is diet friendly.....hamburger meat (sorry, red - it's not red friendly) chopped squash, zuccini, cellery, rosemary and parsley (you could add onions and it would be wonderful too!!) anyway I cooked the veggies to my level of done"ness" and then added the cooked hamburger meat and then added a little sour cream (I use the rice kind)....then last night when I heated it I sprinkled cheese on it. It was very yummy! Almost a comfort food.

tonight I try my spaghetti squash. I hope it's yummy!

kick A kind of day!!
 

Heh there, grass, you're getting up. I'm going to bed. Too bad you have to go to work. Then again, better than being holed up all day and maybe. . . eating!! Will you be able to get to the gym tonight? Glad to hear the scales aren't being too hostile. What is their problem anyhow?!?! :mad: Jeez, I would love to be at 140. I would feel, well, like I used to feel, like I did after all have a waist, not just a big chunky midsection. :lol:

Well, I was great today. Ok, not with the eating. I blew a lot of calories eating sugar because I just grabbed something after all the exercise. Boy, walking really makes you lunge for it. I started off the day with a walk to the gym, then jogged 5K there and did chest and back weight training. After work I did the one stop on later, two stops off earlier on the train and that was despite the cold and wind and my being pretty tired. But I did it! And I was noticing that my face is getting back to "normal." I'd been looking at in thinking, this ain't me, who is this dumpy person and that must have been from the 10lbs I gained. But it's definitely looking thinner now. Now, the trick is not to look at the body and get too disgusted but then again now to not look at all (as I usually do) and continue to keep the fat on.

Ok, what's going on with you all here.

grasshopper -- glad I'm not the only one with a horoscope obsession/phobia. Enjoy your dinner, except for the meat I'd say it sounds good. Have a good day!

NBK -- I guess you're off for the weekend. Hope you don't stress out too much. Have a good one!

Crime girl -- :bravo: to you for exercising. I hate to ask, but what is an Xbox anyhow? What kind of exercise did you do? I think exercise, if you have to choose between eating and exercise, exercise is more important. I mean, yeah, the idea is to get them both in order but exercise lifts your spirits, gets junk moving and out of your body, gets you toned, gets your circulation going better. So, anyhow, CG, good for you!!

I wonder why I haven't hear of Passing for Thin before. Does seem a little odd that she wrote it even though she's only lost half her weight, or wait, do you mean she lost half of what she now weighs, or weighs half of what she did. I'm confused. I was thinking she had lost half of what she wanted to lose and still has more to lose. Which is it! Crime girl!?! I'm going to tear my hair out here.

Ok, send that chump over here real quick. The nerve of him, junking out in front of you. :mad: At least the cigs are gone. Tell him you're going to dump him if he doesn't get his act together. :lol:

About animals, yes, that's the word, intuitive, that's what they are. I agree with grass, it does sound like you've got to get yourself a horse, or at least take up riding.

Sometimes, I do wear a pedometer. It does help to remind me to get out and walk if I haven't been. I can just go and go and go once I get started. In fact, I've walked all the way home from work a few times, takes three hours! Tokyo is probably the best city in the world for walking. There is always a place to walk, whether it's a sidewalk or not. People walk everywhere and it's so safe, anytime of day or night, anywhere in the entire city is safe. I think on an average day I take about 10,000 steps but sometimes it's way over that. Of course, some of that is just me jostling around because I wear it all day long. It'll add up in the train too but not much so I don't care. I think the idea of measuring the steps is just to get an average and then work with that. Did you read how great I was today too?! Well, did you, did you?!?! (she says wagging her tail like crazy and looking for a big pat).

Ok, fellow arsonist, let's go on a fastfood demolition crusade. And you're not alone in not being able to stay out of them, that's why they make me so angry. They are addictive and so bad for people. I mean, it's not just about being fat. Fat kills people. It shortens their lives. It makes them unhappy. And people need all the help they can get, not some loan shark laughing behind a Happy Meal. Thank God I never got into them heavy (no pun intended), don't know why. Guess, it's been because I've been away from the States so long and they just don't appeal to me over here. That and knowing the calories and fat calories and then because I'm a veggie. Heh, did you read Fast Food Nation yet? If you read that you can maybe find another reason to stay away, more political or social. They really are exploitive places. That said, I used to work at Wendy's, before I came to Japan too I was working there to get some money together. I did pickup window cash register early morning. I got to know all the people and just how they wanted their coffee and I'd make it for them because they were driving and couldn't do it themselves. Still, I wasn't eating the stuff, though I did have Wendy's salads ALL the time. That's one good thing about them. Those salads are good and easy and fast. Glad I never got into the burgers and fries. And I never drank soda in my life. Hated it from the time I was a kid. Now, you know I'm weird, don't you?! :rofl:

Heh, I like the idea of you doing my horoscope! But you'd have to do it for my coming day. Would you do that? That'd be fun. Maybe you could intuit some really good ones.

Ah yes, poetic Crime girl, Robert Frost. . .

The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

But, I, MUST sleep now, no more miles. Hitting the hay (the floor) here. Good night! :wave:

OH, and for the record, I'm planning on going to the gym AFTER work tomorrow (Saturday). Wish me luck, ok?

Good morning!
 

Hi all! What a beautiful day today in stupid Florida. It is 46 degrees today and I can already feel my spirits lifting.
The only bad thing this morning is on the news some ******ed group is against Sponge Bob Square Pants because they say he is homosexual. OH MY GOD! Get a life people- and stay away from my Sponge Bob!!!

red- Okay explanations for you! Xbox is a video game- it is like a modern Atari although it is much more advanced. The program I got for it is a "personal trainer" program- this animated chick named Maya has you enter your health stats and exercise past and then makes a workout program for you. Every day that you have programmed you will workout you go and turn it on and Maya is like a workout tape and works out with you. There is even a tutorial to show you how to do the steps if you can't figure it out. On top of that it has a unit for meditation and she does Yoga poses and shows you how to do them. Over time she keeps up with your progress on both fronts and makes things harder as you progress. I really like it!

As for Passing for Thin..it is a woman who lost half of her body weight. Here is a link :
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg...books&n=507846
It is her struggle to lose and how she adjusts to a new way of life when she gets there. I saw a review in Running magazine and it looked good so I picked it up. I will let you know if it is any good.

I am packing bf's bags as we speak- I think a couple weeks in Japan would shock him into submission. :lol: He means well- he tries not to eat in front of me and honestly he has no concept what is bad for him.

WOW! I was already impressed with the amount you work out but if you are walking 10,000 steps a day then you are doing so well!!! You should be proud of yourself- most people don't even get in the steps more or less the gynm time you do! Good for you!! I am proud of you!

I have yet to read Fast Food Nation but I am going to. I have to confess I managed a Hardees (fast food burger joint) for 2 years when I first came to Florida and frankly gained a good 40 pounds there. I just crave fries and burgers- would love to replace that with humus and tofu. I think someone should open a fast food healthy place to eat! If it was as convienant maybe people would switch!

I could do a horoscope for you for sure- what time do you get up and what time is that in my time zone?? Your last post says 7:10 am for me- what time was it for you?? If we can work it out- I will post one for you every day before you get up for that day. Let me know!

I am so happy you got the Robert Frost reference-I love poetry! Especially Frost! Have you ever read Carl Sandburg? Love him too-use to go to his house in North Carolina.

Little grasshopper- Sorry you have to go to the office- so no patients for you today?? Do you hate Fridays?
Be careful in all that snow! I know it is not much still on the ground but people get crazy and lose their minds in bad weather.
As for owning a horse- I would love it! One day I will do that- I haven't been able to ride in years but one day! I would love to live again in the country and have a field full of animals. I would own horses and I would adopt as many dogs as I could so I could help them stay out of the pound. :D

Okay- well I need to go- have to go to work!
Have a wonderful day today everyone!!

crime girl, how are you liking Maya?? Isn't she great?

Well not only have I not been here... I've been eating HORRIBLE :( I had pizza, taco bell, ice cream... I've been nuts :( But today, I'm back on my plan...Back to being healthy!!

saturday morning. . .
 

Good morning. Not many posts happening. I guess when I'm asleep people are mostly (East Coast U.S.) getting their days started and not writing emails! Perhaps a good thing as I have been spending so much time here. BUT, I love it. You all have been such a help. I think this is why I have been able to get moving again.

Crime girl -- Thanks for all your encouraging and supportive words. You are really sweet. And why is Florida "stupid"? I've never been there but if you're there it can't be all bad. I must laugh at how I so often take things the wrong way, in a way that is believing something that sounds very strange but I go, Ok, maybe that's possible. Now, you can see why I get duped so easily, especially in love. I think it's a good thing though. It means I'm open to different ways of seeing things, different cultures and philosophies. I am NOT saying, this is the way it's gotta be and anyone else has to change to be like ME! Oh, getting carried away there. Why I was laughing again, CG, is not only did I honestly wonder why that woman (Passing for Thin) had written a book when she had only lost half the weight she wanted to lose :lol3: but next I was wondering what a ******ed group was doing criticizing Sponge Bob. I was thinking, well, there must be ******ed people that are homosexuals, no? Then, I got it, ******ed as an adjective, duh? Little slow on the uptake there, aren't we?! Yes, like you said CG, these people need to get lives, or something, fast, perhaps to have all the children ever born to them openly and very happily, gay, that would be a good start.

Horoscopes! Yes, please send me one. Any time between your 7 a.m. and 2 p.m. would be best as that's when I'm asleep. But, heh, don't go out of your way because I know you're very busy. But if you think of it and feel like having some fun, send one my way! Thanks! :spin: Can I do something for you? Give you a word of the day, Japanese proverb of the day, literal and figurative meanings? Japanese love proverbs and have tons of them. OK, simple proverb with which you can annoy people. By the way, did you ever try "-chan" out on people? A very well know one that means, heh, anybody can slip up, even the best can slip up, is "Even monkeys fall from trees." So the next time someone says to you, "wow, I never thought YOU would ever fail a test." (I take it you don't fail tests often) you can just shrug and nonchalantly say, "Oh, heck, even monkeys fall from trees." and they will look at you and think, "monkeys?" "trees?" "what the ****?" "oh, what a friggin' weirdo this girl is." :lol: How about it?

That Xbox thing sounds really cool. Kind of freaky, but cool and I would think that would be fun to work out to, which means, you would DO it. Which is the most important thing! I am very proud of you too for exercising!! I am not so great as you make me out to sound. Walking is a necessity here in Tokyo so everyone automatically gets quite a bit in. It's hard not to but yes, I have been trying again recently. :thanks:

But, of course I know that Robert Frost poem. It has a horse in it!! Sandburg, no, I didn't know his poems. What is your favorite?

I was thinking of a health food place too and think enough people would eat there to make a go of it. I think the whole image of health food places as something for weirdos or people who are different and looking down on people who love to pig out and do the couch potato thing is a big part of what keeps the camps divided. I understand both sides. I've done the pig out, stuff my face with everything in sight routine. I know how easy it is to do and how enjoyable it can be. I have done the drink till you puke thing too over and over again and smoke till I'm blue in the face thing too. People don't realize that I swing or have swung both ways and to the far extremes of the pendulum. And, it's like, if I can do both, so can they, no? Well maybe. I can never understand that people don't seem to realize that they are a hair's breadth away from many things at which they scream, "Oh, horrors!" or condemn outright. Circumstance and peer pressure and the current fashion can change everything. There are very few among us with really strong principles that will weather circumstance. Like they say, "circumstance doesn't make the man, it reveals him."

By the way, I looked up the Amazon reviews for Passing for Thin and am reading them. It looks interesting, the book, and I may get it. I love reading about people's struggles and victories. It inspires me to keep on.

Jacque -- Heh, what's happening to you, girl? Come on, don't cancel out all that great work you did losing weight. Is this the backlash for losing too quickly? I hope not. Rein yourself in! How long has this been going on? Are you back under control? Come on, don't let a little victory go to your head. You're in this for the long haul, right? :coach: No sleeping hare under the tree letting that stupid tortoise win the race, OK? Throw that junk away and get with it!

Boyfriend for sale....
 

Really- I can give him to you cheap but once you have him I do not take returns. He is driving me crazy!! First it is- spend some time with me which is OK. Then it turns to let's watch TV and oh by the way only what he wants to watch. I come upstairs to read for school- he washes the dog (a good thing) but lets him loose in my house completely wet! (bad thing) Sometimes I seriously worry about him. :?:

Okay I feel better now- eating horribly today and not sure why. Sometimes I eat because I feel deprived of fun and want a treat for myself. It is a "I will go out and eat because I work hard and go to school so I deserve it." Oh how I set myself up for failure!

Red- I think you are right that we are at work or school when you are posting- post anyway. We eventually catch up and we love to hear from you. :D
In answer to your question- Florida is stupid because it is always one tempature! I need to get out of this state in a big way. I need season changes and cold weather to be happy.
You pointed out something in your post that I didn't even know I was doing. I probably shouldn't use "******ed" to describe things. I guess it is such a habit from people around me I have picked it up. I can see where someone truly disabled might take offense. :o
As for walking in the states- some areas are very walking friendly. I am sure in New York, Chicago, Atlanta and such (big cities) they get a lot of walking in. Unfortunately where I live has never heard of a sidewalk and the only mass transport is buses. You would think in a college town we would at least get some sidewalks and bike lanes, right? Very few - let me tell you!
As for Passing for Thin- I just got it but I saw a review in Runner's World and it sounded good. From what I have seen it looks like a good read and I like to read about success stories too.
Didn't think about the horses as a reason to read Frost. Carl Sandburg is a really good poet as well. One of the things he wrote is:

THE fog comes
on little cat feet.

It sits looking
over harbor and city
on silent haunches
and then moves on.
I will give you a horoscope every day that I can- I think it will be a joy! You can post me a proverb or a great saying anyday you want. I am going to use the monkey one. It is so me- people normally look at me like "what in the heck does she mean??" I love to use funny expressions and I have called several people "chan". So fun! :lol:

We can work out the wrinkles in our new "health" fast food right after we torch all the ones that are bad for us. I really think a healthy fast food place would work- would have to be clever with what is called because people avoid healthy sometimes because they equate it with tasting bad. Would have to come up with a clever way to market. I would go to a healthy place if it was out there. ;)

Jacque- I love Maya but she really kills me. I now see just how out of shape I am. It is OK though- she will whip me into shape. Do you do the meditation garden? I think I am going to try that too. :D
You and I have to get it together and get back on track. Let's make a pact- we both get with it and try to make it just 3 days without cheating once. What do you think??

Okay well I better go- homework to do before I sleep.. :lol:
I hope everyone comes back and posts- I can't take losing anyone else. I still miss some of our old crew. :cry:

Have a wonderful night friends! You are the best!!

walk, walk, walk. . .
 

Hi there. Quickie here. Late for me already. Again, eating not hot today but lots of exercise, well, mostly just walking actually. Did the usual (for this past week) extra walking going in to work and then went out for a walk in the afternoon. Forced myself to go to the gym. It was so crowded. Just did arms and shoulders and no jogging. But I said to myself I either jog there and take the bus home or I don't jog and walk. So I walked. Good going I guess.

I don't think I'm going to see a drop in weight this week. The reason I say that is because I've been getting on the scale, even though it's at different times of day and with clothes on and such but the numbers are way high so it's NOT looking good. . . hmm, hope I can take it well. All this walking. I know I've been eating but I've always been eating so you think I'd see a drop. Well, I still have til tomorrow.

Where IS everybody??! :?: It's SOO lonely around here.

Crime girl, it looks like no takers for the BF. What are you going to do? Have you tried eBay?

How did your eating go? Or, maybe you were sleeping. . I totally am the same as you when it comes to feeling "deprived" because of everything I'm doing. We've got to think of other ways to reward ourselves.

Did you grow up in Florida or somewhere where there were seasons?

I read that Sandburg fog poem. It's like a haiku. Yes, very pretty.

Am looking forward to my horoscope!

Well, gotta get to bed. Hope you're caught up with your studying. Yeah, I don't know where the crew has gone. Probably in a slump or taking a breather. That happens. Don't worry. Everyone loves you! :grouphug: They'll be back.

Ciao for now! :wave:

Hi - BF erased the computer and I forgot all my passwords....had to get them again :)

Red - you're probably asleep now, but I'm here :) Sorry. I didn't sleep well all week so I finally took something last night so I coudl get some hours in. Feeling better and more ready to tackle the world now.

Crime girl - I asked before but didn't see your answer if you gave one...sorry - do you know where apalachicola florida is? My family is from there and my grandfathers on both sides were light house keepers there. I try to go about once a year - we are probably going to lose one of the lights in the next round of storms, if they don't find the funding to move it. I can understand why they wouldn't...it sits on little saint george island and no one even lives there...it's on the ocean side and the houses have already been lost. It looks so sad and lonely there. To think, my grandma and my mom use to run play there.....It's kind of neat. But ot live on an island a lone had to have been hard!

okay, I have not worked out all week and I can tell. Sickness at the beginning of the week and weather at the end (oh there was the winter trek - I worked out that day :) ) I'm going today. They're calling for more snow today and I know my gym will close if that happens. I need to get back on track before my vacation next week. I doubt I'll hit my goal before I go. Not that I haven't tried.....I'm doing better than I ever have before and not seeing the results I saw so easily just 2 years ago. oh well......keep plugging I guess. Talk to you ladies soon. Meri

Hi everyone!
 

I can't be on too long- I have a ton of stuff to do and little time to do it.

Little Grasshopper- Yes I have heard of apalachicola florida. People in Tallahassee go down there on the weekends and such. I am not as familiar as some but I have seen the lighthouses! WOW- that is pretty cool that your grandfathers were the keepers. It is a shame they can't get funding though. I know a ton of people go to St. George Island- including me once a year.
I think living on an island alone would have its share of perks too.

Red-
Here is your horoscope for today:
"Today will be a day of joy. You will have a worry free mind and will accomplish something that has been weighing heavily on it. There is a lightness to you today so take time to stop and smell the roses."

Your only walking and doing light exercise is more than my entire workout. Remember that muscle weighs more than fat so don't let the scales decide how you are doing. How are you feeling? Healthy? and how are your clothes fitting? Look at those measures.

I think I am going to have to put my bf on eBay. Hmm..what would be a good sale price? He is a nice guy and if I don't have to disclose some of the dumbass things he does I might get some good money for him. :lol:

To answer your question- I grew up in South Carolina in the foothills of the Blue Ridge Parkway. We had definite weather changes- I miss them. I miss the crisp air of Fall and the cold refreshing air of winter. In Florida we are stuck on hot and hotter. It sucks!

Okay well let me know how everyone is doing! Today is Sat in the states so it is reflection day for us. How did you do this week?

Question of the day:
What event in history during your lifetime was most memorable to you? why?

Have a wonderful day everyone!! :D

I guess everyone is out enjoying their weekend. I hope you're all having fun.

My eating today has been pretty good. We went Red, Hot and Blue (a bbq and rib place) and I had two ribs, dry rubbed and an order of broccoli. I'm now having some rice Ice cream - mint carob chip :)

The spaghettie squash last night was wonderful!! I felt exactly like I'd just had a big plate of pasta!!! It was such a nice reward!! I highly recommend it!

My exercising is non existant. The weather has thrown such a loop into things. I plan to hit the gym tomorrow though and I'm going to do some pillates later today. I promise!! :)

I'll talk with you guys soon.

As for the question of the day - I hate to go with this one but I have to. 9/11. I worked in a company that was mostly northern. So everyone had a family member affected in some way. Missing, or known dead or thank god, called in sick. On a selfish but life altering level I lost a tons of clients and businesses because they either did business with WTC companies, and couldn't get paid or they my clients were had HQ's there and didn't make it past the attacks. It marked the end of so many things and the start of so much conflict and strife and I think that we're still sorting out individually and as a nation and world how we feel about the act itself and our place in the world before and after it. It was the end of innocence in so many ways. I am forever connected to the people I was standing with the day it happened and how hard it was to get messages to people in meetings that had no idea but we knew had family members working on the towers. It was just an awful day and the time since has been very strained and hard. We, as a country are so young and we are learning to be adults - some times we're better at it than others, but this was a jolt to that teenage belief of being invincible.


On a lighter note - I will also never forget the day they found the "Queen Anne's Revenge" Black Beard's pirate ship - off the coast of Morehead city NC. I grew up on the Cape Fear River, with Pirate stories all around. I lived in Beaufort, NC - right across from Morehead City - at the bottom of the outer banks..when this happened and it was the talk of EVERYTHING! There was this huge battle between the two towns as to who it belonged to. I got to see a lot of the stuff they brought up and it brought Colonial history even more to life for me. I live in the heart land of all of that stuff and it was so cool to see history surface like that!

sunday morning, pre-weigh-in. . .
 

Good morning people. I slept in this morning. Would have been here for you earlier grass if I'd been up as early as I normally get up but I hadn't set my alarm and was just allowing myself to wake up naturally. Got to bed an hour later than usual last night because I'd been to the gym. So, here again now. Gong on 8 a.m.

I haven't gotten on the scale yet. I have been writing everything down in a food journal but I confess I have not been tallying up the calories. There is no law requiring calories to be on the labels here and also a lot of the stuff is homemade or baked goods (well, not a lot but I had some scones!) and so it's hard to figure out. Is there a reason I reach for things I don't know the calorie count of and can "hide" behind. yeeeesssss. I'm afraid so. I think I should perhaps add up those calories and get a rough estimate BEFORE I weigh myself because I think then I won't be pissed at the number on the scale. But too, I am definitely getting some muscle back and that will perhaps weigh more. Ok, blah, blah, blah blah. Just do it!

**********

Grasshopper -- you know, I would think if you tried to get some fundraising thing going, some "Save the Lighthouse" thing you could. That surely must be a historical building. Have you contacted such societies? My sister used to be very interested in that and worked with such a group I think earlier. In Pittsburgh there are tons of old houses that have been preserved. If people are going to the island there must be some way of reaching them. I would hate to see that lighthouse go. I would really try if you could. I love old things, especially in the States. Probably because they're NOT that old. I don't like the ancient feel of Europe. There it just feels dark and gloomy. I felt so much gloom in Europe. Italy and Ireland felt much better. I mean, it's a feeling I get around places, maybe an intuitive thing. I don't know, maybe it's just a feeling from the people living there. My great-grandmother had a farm out on Staten Island. I remember going there as a little girl. There was nothing out there then. Both my parents are from NYC. It's sad when things can't be preserved because so much in the States at least still is and a lot of it is just a matter of effort moreso than the money involved, especially if you're willing to just preserve a small part of it. Please try to save the lighthouse, grass.

I feel your pain too about the lack of weight loss. You have missed workouts and so maybe that will be the reason your weight doesn't drop. But you see, you DO know that you are "doing better than ever" so you do have other ways of measuring than just the numbers on the scale. I think we really, really have to think of ways to keep this kind of thing foremost in our mind. It's always THE BIG PICTURE! Perhaps we should make up an assessment sheet, where we look at all different aspects of our efforts, healthful eating, how we feel, how our clothes fit, how much exercise we've given our bodies, and then the number on the scale. That way we'll have a much more rounded picture of our "progress." I think I will make up a sheet and print it out and make copies and put these in a notebook to fill out each day along with the daily log of food and exercise that I already do.

So, anyhow, grass, stick to it. I know I will be irritated if the scale doesn't move but I'm tired of ignoring all the efforts I HAVE made. I also don't think it's right or smart to be getting excited over a drop on the scale if I haven't been eating good foods or the drop is due to the fact that I have lost muscle weight (if I am not trying to lose muscle weight). I mean, I could start smoking again, drink tons of coffee all day long, eat only junk food but in a limited amount. lose muscle and become a weak waste of space and the numbers on the scale would go down and down and would I be happy? **** no! I remember, years ago, before I'd found the gym and weight training, I starved myself down. In fact, I did everything I just mentioned above and I looked at myself naked in the mirror and all I saw was a miniature version of what I'd been. Big deal. It did not reflect anything I valued. Now if I wanted to "fit in" -- in to a society that prefers me to take up as little space as possible, in every sense, then fine, I would have fulfilled that goal. But, even at 5 feet 1.5 inches, I have no intention of being a "small person" in any sense other than my physique. Yeah! :strong:

Grass, I wish I could find spaghetti squash here. I have never had it. There is one store that caters to the ex-pats here and they, if anyone, could perhaps have it. When is it in season? Of course, I would be paying an unbelievable price but if I found it I would try it. Will give a look for it.

Crime girl -- Thank you so much for the horoscope. I have saved it in a separate file and will think of it through the day. The something that is "weighing heavily" on my mind could be either one of two pieces of work I must finish this week and today is really the only day I have to get a good bit of both done. But I want to get a ride in too and that takes up so much of the day. It looks like it's going to be a gray, cold day out but I will try to keep the lightness in my step and, if I get out to the stable, to take longer in appreciating being able to share time with my horse.

Yes, what you are saying about the clothes and other measures is what I was saying to grass above. You are so right. I know these things. Why is it that I tend not to do them when it comes to myself?

Of course, if you put the BF on eBay you will have to make him look a lot better than you presently perceive him to be. I would write your ad up looking at his "potential." Use words such as "shows incredible promise," "virtually" and dangling comparatives and superlatives such as "one of the most considerate, helpful, and conscientious." Just don't finish the sentence which would be "one of the . . . . men I though I would ever meet until I realized, that I could, in fact, do much, much better if I was just a bit more patient." and things like this. "Virtually" is a word they use in advertising, which means, "like, but in fact, not" but most people think of it as meaning "almost" and think they're doing well. Anyway, have fun! You may want to be a bit more careful, because the eBay people will probably pull your ad if they see it because I don't think you can offer people for sale. You might want to consider disguising the fact that he is human by using code, such as describing him as a teddy bear or a robot. Tell me how it goes!

Getting serious again, ah the Blue Ridge Parkway. I know the Blue Ridge Mountains so I think I have an idea of where you grew up though I was only in Charleston, SC. because my sister lived there for a while. Yes, I can imagine Florida getting on your nerves. Well, no reason you can't move, is there? After your studies are finished, maybe you should seriously consider it?

Question of the day: Before I read grass' reply I hadn't thought of 9/11 although that certainly affected me even though I was here. I spent a sleepless and wired night sending emails to a friend in New York who was giving me a blow-by-blow account of what was going on. He told me the tower had fallen before I saw it on TV. The 10-second satellite delay meant I didn't understand what he was saying until I saw it go down. I was on the phone to my aunt in Brooklyn telling her what was going on because her TV was out because the antenna for it was on the WTC. My uncle in Queens, no doubt having flashbacks to WWII, too was ready to flee the city. And I was on the phone to my dad in Pittsburgh but later was worried sick when I heard a plane had gone down near there but couldn't get through anymore from here because the lines were jammed. All in all, a very tense night though I lost no one I had known. I had just been up on the towers a few months earlier showing a friend around and the towers had also been a favorite since they were built. I'd taken many people from all over the world up them and always seen them as a welcome back to the U.S. kind of symbol when I'd fly in to Newark or Kennedy. Last time I was there it felt so lonely to not see their familiar shape. But, I don't know if I would consider that memort the most memorable. It's hard to say because the memory is still too fresh. I suppose it will be. But for now I guess I'd have to go with them taking the first step on the moon or the end of the Vietnam War. You see, I've got a good 10-20 years on most of you! Then again, if you ask why, I probably can't say, which means I just remember them well but wasn't emotionally involved in them. If you want an event that was both historical (at least in Japan) and in which I was emotionally involved I guess it'd have to be when a famous racehorse went down in the backstretch of a big race here. The events after that, the reporters waiting after the race asking me how I was going to lead my story, with the horse breaking down (they euthanized him on the track) or the winning horse, me waiting for the groom to return to the stables and seeing him walking back, head down, the horse's halter hanging from his hand, the tears running down his face. I couldn't let myself cry because I had to write a story and take the bullet train all the way back to Tokyo. I knew if I started crying I wouldn't be able to stop and I would look like a monster with my eyes swollen shut. Maybe that memory, or another one, when I found out a famous trainer and dear friend of mine had died. I was coming home from riding and someone sitting across from me was reading a sports newspaper and the whole front page was the news of this man's death. I hadn't known. I was in shock, fought back the tears because I knew, again, if I started crying I wouldn't be able stop but when I came up out of the subway station I couldn't hold them back any longer. I went to the wake the next day, which was my birthday. So maybe those, too. Gosh, I am writing a novel here, aren't I?

Sorry about that. OK, calling it a post! :wave:

Me again...
 

Hi again everyone-just wanted to respond back to you-

Red- I am officially forbidding you from telling any other stories that involve sadness and animals. (just kidding ;) ) Once again I am sitting here crying like a baby about the guy who was walking away from his horse with tears streaming down his face. I see now why you are a writer. You have a unique ability to tell stories that make me picture them so vivdly in my mind. Sometimes this causes tears though! That poor guy- I couldn't imagine. I know jockeys and their horses have a phenomenal bond and I bet he was heartbroken. :cry: Okay- enough about that- my bf kids me because I don't get really sad until an animal is involved then I turn into a blubbering fool.

I am glad you did not lose anyone from 911. I can imagine it was terse waiting to get through and wondering if everyone was OK. Also seeing a friend on the front page. WOW! That would have thrown me and I think I would have lost it.

As for me and 911- like Grasshopper said- I have a bond now with the people that experienced that with me. I really had a hard time with it and I didn't even know anyone in the towers. I was depressed for months and would cry in the weirdest moments. I don't know why it effected me so strongly exceot maybe all the stories of people who had lost someone and the stories of people that survived. I think the image that effected me the most was two people praying together and you could see the towers on fire behind them. People were rushing past them and they stopped on the sidewalk in a mass of people to pray. Gives me chills.

I am glad you liked your horoscope. I am trying to put some though into them and I want them to be upbeat and happy. I hope you get to ride today and take to heart taking extra time to enjoy life a little.

As for my bf I guess I won't actually put him on eBay although there are times when it is tempting. I am so stressed about that situation because I have to decide in April whether we move together or I strike out on my own. On top of graduation, new job, etc. I have to make this huge decision about my life. :?:

Charleston SC is really pretty. I use to go there on the weekends when I attended the University of South Carolina in Columbia SC. A group of us would go down and hang out and for awhile I dated a guy who went to the Citadel in Charleston. Good memories in that town. :D
I am from Spartanburg which is way north of Charleston- right before you cross into NC. I lived in a little town in Spartanburg called Boiling Springs and we lived way out in the country. Man, I miss my old house sometimes.

Anyway- don't stress the scales so much. I think your idea of measuring other aspects is really great. You should definitely look at your muscle formation and how your body is reacting to the walking and working out. I bet you are doing better than you give yourself credit for.

Grasshopper- Don't sweat the weight loss- you once said something that I find especially true- you are on a restricted diet and there is only so much you can do. I think you have nothing to worry about- sounds like you are getting stronger and more fit and that is wonderful!

I didn't know they found a sunken ship off the coast of NC. That is really cool! I can see how that would be memorable for sure. As for 911 - I kind of responded to red with that too. I totally agree with you that it made an impact on my life. I think a few others for me would be when the space shuttle exploded in the 80's with the teacher aboard. Believe it or not, when Walter Cronkite went off the air- he was who my dad always watched and there was a special reverence in my family for him. It was sad to see him go off the air because it closed a chapter of memories with my dad.
Another moment for me was when a dear friend of mine died of cancer when I was in 8th grade. That was the first time I ever experienced death and I had seen him the day before he died. It profoundly changed me just knowing him. Anyway- life has a way of changing us sometimes for the worse and often for the better.

Well tonight I am reading for class and it is a Saturday night- sometimes I feel like such a nerd. WOOHOO! Hot time at my house on a Saturday night! Geez!
I have been doing terrible with eating and only slightly better with food. I don't know why I refuse to do this. Sigh!
I better go- this is turning into a novella and I need to get back to it.
Have a wonderful night everyone!

and the results are in . . . as expected. . .
 

Okay, guys, I did it, weighed myself and, as I expected, I did not post a loss, but a gain. :cry: Oh well, though my exercising has been great, my eating wasn't. How am I ever going to lose the fat if I keep cancelling out the exercise by eating. I'm considering it maintenance, however, because I have tightened up. I'm a bit sore too so there will be some water weight there. Oh well, it sucks but I will use this to try to learn to finally stop spinning my wheels. I mean, I DID do a ton of exercise this week. I had no beer whatsoever. So, I have to consider the high price I'm paying for the sugar, chocolate and licorice I ate. Yes, I'm bored at work, I'm looking for a reward, an immediate reward, when I get home at night. So, if that's enough to throw away my chance at losing fat, then I'll have to accept that. If not, I'll have to make changes in what I'm doing throughout the week. I do like the muscle. I do like the strength. Can I lose a bit of the sugar, a bit of the empty calories in exchange for seeing some of the fat come off? These are my choices. I'm going to reflect on them . . .

You see, how adult I'm being?! ;) Can I keep this up?!? Oh, the actual numbers were, present weight is 73.6 kg, up 0.88 lbs from last week, still up 1.76 lbs from Jan. 2 starting weight.

Red-
I just saw your post! Do not get upset over 2 pounds! Geez- you know better than that. That could be all water weight from lifting weights and in reality after you adjust - your weight will go down. My question for you is how do you feel? I bet you are feeling better and healthier.
Yes- if you lay off the candy you will have better results. If I ate nothing but rice and ran 6 miles a day I would show some too. You can't deprive yourself of anything that is slightly bad. Yes- cut down on sweets but give yourself a break. You are not perfect and that is a good thing.
Okay off my soapbox- :soap: buck up! You are doing great!
Also- keep in mind that stress may cause you to retain and you are going through some life changes right now- going to be stressful but that is OK.

the way of things. . .
 

Crime girl -- I am sitting here crying myself because I was remembering all the other parts of that racing breakdown that I hadn't written about and they were much sadder. I will not write about them though for your sake. Just promise to buy my books some day when they come out, OK? I certainly don't want people to cry, I mean, that's never my intention but people always say they do. Of course, I'm crying when I write the stories that make people cry so I guess if I were the only one crying it wouldn't speak well for my either my mental health or my writing!

OK, I won't fret the weight gain, lack of loss. Losing weight is hard work, especially for a survivor-type body like I have. And I am rather extreme in the type of body I want, which is really an athlete's body. If I want it, then I have to accept and be proud of the amount of work it is going to take to get it. Then I can be all the more proud of it when I get it. And I'm going to get it this year! Of course, only a few people, such as the bodybuilders at the gym, will realize just what that effort is, but I will know and I am hoping that is enough. I guess I shouldn't make light of the effort I put into things. I think the tendency to belittle what I do comes from trying to be liked by everyone, well, not everyone, but people I like, even though they may be total slackers, people who I think are wasting their lives. The thing is, I don't think that's a reason for me to criticize them or think less of them, but, unfortunately, that's usually not the case with them. They're the very people who seem to find it extremely easy and even gratifying to criticize others, including moi! I wonder if they don't see things or, much more likely, if they do and are jealous, yet not willing to put in the effort themselves and so transfer their own self-disappointment into criticism of me. Whatever. I try to be modest but that takes its toll, in that you really start to not recognize your own achievements.

Ok, I have to leave now. I will write more later so don't think I am ignoring your nice long post Crime girl. Thanks for your encouragement and all. It really means a lot. :love: Later!

Red-
This will be a really quick post-
Of course I will buy your book and in all seriousness you should consider writing one. You have a way with words and I think you would write a winner!
As for the friends who like to criticize-some people who can't accomplish their goals or aren't happy with themselves will belittle someone else to make themselves feel better. I don't know why this happens but they like to try to knock people down to their level. Don't let them do it!
Remember that - Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission. What matters is what you think. Concentrate and stay focused on your goals- you can do it. Also- it is just as important and hard for you as the rest of us. I think in some respects your struggle is harder because to see results you really have to work. Someone like me just needs to change a few things and make some effort to see results. I have so much more weight than you to lose. You will see less changes in the scales and more in your body tone and strength. Don't lose focus- you can do anything you set your mind to.
Okay- need to run- have to get back to reading.

You know, seems to me you are both talking about writing a book....looks like I have a few to pick up in the future :) But only if I can get them signed :)

Forgive me - I've had 2 glasses of wine. I haven't had wine since Thanksgiving. I'm now a lush with a capital L. I do feel very good and happy with the world...oh and very much in love with my wonderful Boyfriend. :)


As for life changing but none historical events. April 19, 1988. I was riding in the passenger seat..my mom driving, my grandmother in the back seat and my brother asleep in the seat behind me. It was about 8:00 at night. We were on our way home from a special church service. It was starting to rain and we were listening to an a musac station that was playing a voiceless "she's like the wind..." We were on a highway, so we were going about 55...the school bus ran the stop sign completely. We hit it several times as it drug us, spinning, through the intersection. I have few memories after that. I remember that my brother tried to pull me from the car but when he saw my face he freaked out. I was trying to tell him I wasn't hurt, it just looked bad - but he says I never said anything to him. I remember my mom trying to take my rings off and telling me to get out of the car because she was scared it would blow up...that's when I realized I couldn't move. That was my life altering moment. I spent the next year of my life thinking about all the things you normally contemplate when you're much older....I had a lot of time to stare at the ceiling and thinking though. I missed my proms, the rest of my school year, and trip to Russia, and a boyfriend because of that night and it is forever a part of the time line of my life..."before the wreck" or "after the wreck" Every single diagnosis I get today I wonder if it's related to the accident and I fight to not wonder what my life would be like now if not for that wreck. I know I wouldn't be a massage therapist - so there is some good that came of it. But in truth it was a wreck that change every fiber of my being and should have killed me. I broke more bones than I didn't that night. I lost a ton of memories that night.

I am very lucky to be alive and I try to remind myself every day - I'm on borrowed time. I have to make the most of it. I think I'm truly making more of my life than I would have if not for the accident though. I really do. It has given me a courage I didn't have before. A kind of "if I can make it through THAT......." feeling.

If this was weird - blame the wine. GOOD BOTTLE too :) I don't even care that i can't have it ;) It's been two months - I'm due :)

WOW! Grasshopper- that gave me chills. Was anyone else hurt in the accident? I know it is hard to recover and the moments of the accident- you trying to tell your brother you were okay- really shook me.

I had a bad accident when I was in 10th grade. My brother was driving and we were talking- he was home from college and we are close and we were talking to catch up. I remember getting in the car with him and despite warnings from my folks I did not put on a seatbelt. I was trying to eat a sandwich before going to a band competition and I actually remember thinking if my mom got mad about the seat belt I would have a good excuse.
Anyway- 2 houses up from us (about 1/2 mile) my brother leaned over to get a drink that I had between my knees and when he went to put it back he ran off the road. We jumped a 3 foot ditch-hit a man mowing his lawn with a push mower and hit a telephone pole. I remember trying to tell my brother I was OK and the expression on his face. The part I still have nightmares about is the sound of my mom screaming and crying- she heard the wreck from outside and came running the distance to get to us. I still wake up sometimes with the image of my dad holding my mom back so she wouldn't freak me out too bad. The doctors told me I was lucky- 5 miles faster and I would have been dead. Apparently my head went through the windshield and I pulled it back through after the wreck. I still don't remember that part. I had 9 major scars on my face because of it and I still have one remaining today. I went through 3 plastic surgeries and was set to go for a fourth for the last scar on my chin when I decided to keep it. I think I needed a reminder that I am lucky to be here. I wanted something that would remind me everyday that I am here for a purpose and I am blessed to have a chance to live my life.

Anyway- from what you have told us about your accident mine was not as bad as yours but I guess what I am trying to relay is I can understand that feeling of being spared. It is funny the things you remember from events like these in your life- a song on the radio, what you were talking about etc.

Enjoy your wine tonight little grasshopper. Be happy and celebrate life.
Until tomorrow-

Wow!
 

Wow, you guys, what can I say in reply to both your horrific tales! I guess all I can say is I'm glad you made it through and are still here with us!

grasshopper -- though I hate to think what I am if two glasses of wine makes you a lush! I am glad to hear you're enjoying yourself. I hope the repercussions from this mega-indulgence will not be too great. Not meant as a dig, I know you are very sensitive to such things. No, I'm really glad to hear you (and the BF) are having some fun.

As I said, what a horrific accident you had. Yes, I remember you saying you had been in an accident but hadn't known it was so bad. Yes, that is freaky about you thinking you were reassuring your brother that you were OK. Maybe you were ready to take leave from this world and what you meant by "OK" isn't what most people would mean. Was your face really injured badly or was it just the blood? Why was your mom trying to take your rings off and at the same time telling you to get out of the car? Strange. Was the time sequence of events messed up for you or was she actually trying to take your rings off then? You say you lost memories. So did you have brain damage and was your head badly injured? Sorry for all the questions. But, wow, this was such a life-changing event for you, I want to hear more about it. That is, of course, if you don't mind talking about it.

Crime girl -- Wow, you too! I'm so sorry to hear you went through a terrible accident too. How much school did you miss? Did that affect you a lot at such a vulnerable age having all those injuries, then scars to your face? Was the man mowing the lawn killed? In any case, I am glad you are with us now.

I have heard a lot of people who were deeply affected by the 9/11 attacks as well. I guess it was different for those of you in the States, and also maybe as you haven't lived abroad. I think living abroad (then again it depends on how you've lived I suppose) takes away an awful lot of that feeling of "home" and so things that threaten that concept or, in this case, the actual "home" perhaps don't affect you as much as people you have always had a strong feeling of home. I don't know. It may just be the individual person. I know people in New York who weren't affected by it much at all. But there again, there were friends of mine from here who have gone back to the States. In any case, I would think that one's philosophies, whatever they may be at that point in your life, are shaken and/or tested. I'm not sure I remember that picture of the people praying, maybe I do. I remember a voice clip I'd gotten off one of the news services, a woman, nearly in tears, her voice strained and breaking, describing the people jumping. It sends chills through me even to remember it now.

It sounds like you certainly do have some big decisions ahead of you. You sound like you really have it together though so I'm sure you will do the right thing. I really want you to meet your graduation goal weight. The weight change will change you considerably I am sure and I think you should be making these decisions from that new viewpoint. We tend to think we are the same person and maybe we are inside but the way we react to the outside is very different. I was very heavy when I lived in Germany and the things I missed out on, the things I would have done, I know I would have done (or hadn't done) were directly linked to my weight and how I felt about myself because of that weight. It was major and though I tend to forget, if I think about it I realize the impact my weight and appearance had on my life. Okay, some of that was just youth, but it was youth coupled with being overweight and in a society that really looked down on that, much more so than the States even. Even now, I'm sure there are so many things my weight and appearance affect and alter, if not only me and my thoughts and actions, than those of others. I mean really, it's like the way people treat you different if you wear different clothes. Our bodies are our costumes.

Oh, Crime girl, you're hardly a nerd. Anyone can go out and party on Saturday night but how many people can stay home and study? Not many. One night out is like most any night out with only slight variations. You can go out some night once your studying is over, and believe me, you won't have missed much that you can't catch up on REAL fast!! On top of that you will have something REAL that most people will only dream of, if they can even imagine it.

Good morning...
 

Red-
Before I closed this thread I wanted to answer back to your post.

As for the wreck- it did profoundly change things for me both for the worse and for the better. I had a hard time trying to convince myself to go back to school with stitches but I have a dear friend who came over every day while I was healing and he protected me once I returned to school. Nobody messed with him so he used that to protect me from people making wise cracks etc. Basically he said he would kick anyone's butt that offended me. The accident made us closer as friends and he became close with my family as well. We are still friends to this day- I will always love him like a brother for protecting me.
Bad things also came of it of course. The man mowing his lawn was not killed but was injured pretty badly. We actually hit the mower itself and it slammed into him. He had to go to the hospital for stitches and had a lot of bruising.
There was also a rift between me and my brother who blamed himself for the accident. It took a long time before we got back to near the level of closeness that we had before it happened. My brother went back to college and promptly became an alcoholic and never finished school. He ended up in the Navy and that drove distance between us. As adult - now years later - we are finally getting back to being close again.
By the way- I missed 5-6 days of school for the accident and some school everytime I had plastic surgery.

As for 911 you are probably right in reference to me. I guess I kind of felt like a victim of a violent crime in their house- violated. I have always been proud of where I live- the land of the free, right? When they attacked us it profoundly shook my sense of security. I also saw people interviewed about other people jumping and I know what you mean about chills. I became a TV junkie when it heppened- drawn to the suffering and horrible stories of both death and survival. The TV didn't help me heal and probably made it much worse because that is all I saw for months.
I think you are right that people who have lived in different countries and travelled a bit have a different outlook and probably were not as shook and horrified as I was. I really haven't travelled at all- I have been to Canada but never anywhere else out of the country. I have also never been west of the Mississippi River. Sheltered a bit I guess.

As for my bf and all those decisions- I know they will work out. I try to let them go and have faith they will work out. It will not be easy but what in life worth having is easy? That goes for the weight loss too- I know I will be the same person on the inside and I am happy about that because that part I like. I agree that how I relate with the world will change. I do not do things now that I could because of my weight. I don't go out and dance, go bike riding down the Appalachee trails, join clubs, etc. because of my weight. I also want to make my target weight by graduation- I want to feel proud and empowered when I finish school. So- I am back on the program now and we will see how hard I can push myself to achieve my goals. :D

By the way- I am OK with being a nerd. I could go out if I wanted- I know that. People constantly invite me along but you are right- the studying has to happen. I know I need to set my priorities and get this stuff done. I just laugh because in my town EVERYONE goes out on the weekend. College town! I honestly would choose to stay home even if I didn't have school work. I have found that I no longer enjoy the act of going out, getting drunk, and partying until I puke. It seems so counterproductive to me and I am a type A personality that likes utility in my choices. Strange but true. :lol:

Okay time to go move our thread...

Please move to Battle of the Bulge #9:
It can be found at:
http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/show...313#post760313

Thanks!